HOWDY KIDDOS!!! Welcome to day two of angstliving. This one is actually more flangsty (which is a angst/fluff combo, for those of you who are new to the fam) and it’s dedicated to one of my best friends, Lena, because the library study rooms were out hangout place in high school. <333 I hope you kiddos enjoy! ;)
hi. mom! I was wondering if you could write a fic where Alex is in high school (like a junior/senior) and is having a really hard time with school and grades and just feels like he’s really stupid and that he keeps failing everything and that maybe he won’t graduate, but John helps him feel better? cause I’m currently feeling that way and it would just be helpful for me. - heartbreak anon
It was nine in the morning on a Saturday and Alexander was sitting in the local library with nearly all of his textbooks spread out on the desk in front of him. Even though his hair had been neatly pulled back into a bun before he left the house, there were already strands sticking up and hanging around his face because he couldn’t stop lodging his hands in his hair. The feel of his hair was somehow very calming, though he was well past being anywhere near calm.
No, he couldn’t be calm when his future depended on how much information he absorbed from the very books spread out in front of him; when it depended on his using not only his words, which was fine, not a problem, but also his math and science skills.
Logically, he knew he’d been at a disadvantage for sometime. He’d been shuffled through different schools for the past two years. He’d only been with the Washingtons and at this school for six months.
History he could teach himself. Literature and writing he could do in his sleep. But the rest of it? It was extremely difficult for him to catch up, to comprehend it all when his basic education of those subjects had been so shaky.
It made him feel stupid, to say the least. And to make matters worse, he couldn’t graduate with failing grades, let alone get into a good college, or any college at all.
The pressure of it all was building up; it was crushing him. Just as his breathing began to grow faster, his phone buzzed in his pocket.
John Laurens <3: Good morning babe! Whatcha up to today? Wanna come over and play video games?
Alex couldn’t help but smile at his boyfriend’s text.
Alexander Hamilton: I wish :( Studying
John Laurens <3: there’ll be more time for video games later <3 how’s it going?
Alexander Hamilton: i’m too stupid for this, john
Alexander Hamilton: sorry
Alexander Hamilton: it’s too early for my bs, I know
John Laurens <3: you home?
Alexander Hamilton: library
John Laurens <3: omw
Alexander groaned and let his head fall onto an open book. He hadn’t meant to throw himself a pity party and guilt his boyfriend into coming to comfort him, which Alex knew would just be kind lies.
John tapped on Alex’s shoulder less than ten minutes later. Alex turned to find John’s freckled face a bright shade of red and his eyes filled with concern.
“You wanna talk?” John whispered.
Alex sighed but nodded. It was only fair to John after he came all this way. He hastily shoved all of his books in his backpack and followed John to the front desk of the library, where John asked for a study room.
The balding man behind the desk took their names and led them into the back, a key in hand.
“You have it for one hour, then longer if nobody else requests it.”
“Thanks,” John said.
Once they were alone in the room, Alex set his backpack on the floor and slumped into one of the wooden chairs. John sat across the table from him, staring at him. Alex knew he was waiting for him to talk.
“I’m gonna fail algebra II and environmental, John. And please don’t tell me I won’t,” he quickly added. “I know I’m too stupid for this. It’s too late for me, and now these two classes are gonna make me flunk out of school, and then I’ll never get into college, and then––”
“Alex,” John said calmly. “That won’t happen.”
“I just said don’t tell me it wo––”
“I mean you’re not gonna fail out of school,” John clarified. “I don’t know what your grades are, but I do know that they don’t define how intelligent you really are.”
Alex looked down at the grooves in the wooden table.
“Listen, Alex, you’re one of the smartest people I know. You can write, debate, you know more about politics than I do and my dad’s a senator,” John said with a laugh.
“But I’m failing two classes, John. You can’t graduate with failing grades.”
“Then you won’t fail,” John said as if it were truly that simple.
“John, it’s not th––”
“I’ll help you, and we’ll talk to your teachers, and Laf and the Washingtons will help, too. You’re not alone, Alex.” John reached a hand across the table.
Alex looked at it a moment before slipping his own into it.
“Let us help?” John asked.
“Okay,” Alex whispered after a moment. “Okay.”