john m burns

camp memes:
  • soldier/nurse, holding out their hand for any given object: “Clamp.”
  • “Frank Burns, known Mennonite”
  • in response to literally any question: “ask the Oracle” 
  • (the Oracle is Radar)
  • “Where does this go?” / “Into a box of things you can’t swallow.”
  • if anyone is in a fight over anything: “Well maybe if you hadn’t touched your nose, we wouldn’t be having this fight.”
  • pointing to a bucket, crate, small pond, the supply shed, anything: “Look, BJ lost one of his shoes.”
  • in response to any form of hysterics: “Listen, Hawkeye, I’m upset too.”
  • “Radar O’Reilly would never treat me this way, and frankly, I’m shocked.”
  • (while making an obscene gesture) “In honor of Trapper John, may he rest in peace.”
  • “Tell that to Klinger’s trousseau.”
  • (chanting) “KP, KP, KP, KP, KP”
  • “What’s the password” / *incoherent shrieking*
  • (while anywhere BUT in a jeep): “I’m gonna have a baby right here in this jeep, and not one of you people can stop me”

add your own!

((As it’s just hit midnight here in Florida, Happy MASH Fanart Day from me!

…oh and, there will be something War-Crossed related later today!))

what if the boys at the 4077th weren’t doctors? what if they got drafted as soldiers just like everyone else?

imagine, Hawkeye Pierce as the son of a fisherman from Maine, who worked in the local drugstore to pay his way towards becoming an English teacher, who taught at the town’s tiny schoolhouse until the day he got his draft card.

John McIntyre the lawyer, trying to argue his way out of leaving his wife and children, and ending up on the front lines just the same.

part-time auto mechanic, part-time hobbyist BJ Hunnicutt, being sent to work on sherman tanks and fire a gun in his spare time.

Frank Burns, failed actor, successful accountant, clinging to his bible and ultimately proving too cowardly and neurotic to be anywhere near the front.

Sherman Potter, just barely avoiding the draft and being left at home to continue being the best veterinarian in Hannibal, Missouri. 

and Henry Blake, a family man who managed to get an early retirement from his job as a salesman, unable to believe that he got drafted, of all people, struggling to make sense of his situation.

8

Margaret & her kiss <3

M*A*S*H MBTI

I went ahead and did this, although some of them might get switched around a bit.  Feel free to discuss.

Analyst Temperaments (1st column)

  • ENTJ - Lt. Col. Donald Penobscott
    Confession time: I just needed to fill a space.  However, what we do learn about Donald is that he is definitely a Te dominant, like Margaret.  Which is probably the primary reason they didn’t work out.  Donald seems to have a very specific future in mind for himself, and he’s not afraid to use and drop people he meets along the way.  This is a very negative use of his auxiliary Ni and tertiary Se, and is the reason the ENTJ is often the antagonist of the story.

  • ENTP - Corporal (later Sergeant) Maxwell Q. Klinger
    Klinger is one of the 4077’s most resourceful idea men, clearly leading with Ne.  If he’s not scheming a way out of Korea, he’s scheming a way to make money off of Korea.  And when it comes to finagling for whatever the 4077 needs, he outdoes even Radar when he puts his mind to it.  He is also very clever, practical, witty and analytical, indicating a use of Ti as his auxiliary function.

  • INTJ - Lt. Col. (later full Col.) Samuel Flagg
    With a single-minded focus–stop communism–and a desire to rise above any vice or weakness known to man, Flagg is one of the clearest users of dominant Ni and inferior Se seen in media–or at least he would be, if INTJ were not the most popular type for the antagonist.  Flagg’s ambition indicates his use of Te, but his obsession with conspiracy theories and his self-righteousness that he himself admits transcends Mulcahy and Hawkeye causes his logic to take a back seat to his tertiary function, Fi.  Flagg is stuck in a dom/tert loop.  This, more than anything else, is what makes him a problem.

  • INTP - Lt. Col. Henry Blake and (not pictured) Maj. Sidney Freedman
    Henry was difficult to type, but it became fairly clear to me that his most developed extroverted function is Ne.  Yet he is not an extrovert.  Nor is he an Fi user, as he does not have a clear set of internal moral values, and is instead more the analytical type.  His auxiliary Ne is responsible for his clumsiness and indecisiveness.  Sidney is a more stable example of the INTP, using his Ti to great effect with his patients, able to analyze and address their problems without carrying around their emotional baggage (which indicates his inferior Fe).  He is also a man of ideas, wanting to get the complete picture before prescribing a solution to the problem.


Sentinel Temperaments (2nd column)

  • ESTJ - Maj. Margaret Houlihan
    A woman of great ambition, “Hot Lips” is logical, organized, and not very patient with excuses or emotional outbursts–especially her own.  A clear Te dominant.  She is also very traditional and military proper, having been raised in the army.  It was only natural that Si would become her auxiliary.  Margaret’s greatest desire in life is to make her father proud of her, and will bend over backward trying to please higher authorities, much to her detriment.  When she finally starts to develop her inferior Fi, she really begins to grow and shine.

  • ESFJ - 1st Lt. Kellye Nakahara
    Kellye is, to paraphrase the woman herself, warm, caring, funny, and cute as heck.  And she’s learning to tap dance.  Able to empathize with her patience to a degree that gets the incorrigible Hawkeye to admire her for more than just her second X chromosome, Kellye demonstrates a dominant Fe.  Her auxiliary Si makes her sentimental and nostalgic (mostly for her hometown of Honolulu), and also respectful of authority–at least to their faces.

  • ISTJ - Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III and (not pictured) Maj. Frank Burns
    Charles is the epitome of tradition, using his Si to its fullest effect.  Logical, ambitious and somewhat emotionally detached–at least until he’s been in Korea for a while–he is also a clear Te user.  Charles sees his life as one giant act of duty toward his very influential family, and has a mixture of precious and lonely memories of his childhood, which he relives often.  Pompous though he may be, he is an example of a healthy ISTJ.  Unlike Frank “Ferret Face” Burns.  Frank displays symptoms of a dom/tert loop, preferring to run from his problems.  His Si gives him a very GI mindset, and his Fi causes him to justify his own actions without regards to whether they are rational, logical, or might harm someone.  In my opinion, Frank is bipolar with tendencies toward mania.  His money alone kept him from getting a legit section 8 for his duration at the 4077.

  • ISFJ - Corporal Walter “Radar” O'Reilly
    A strong introvert with a love for homegrown tradition, Radar is an interesting example of an Si dominant.  His pattern recognition makes him perfectly suited for administrative work as the 4077 company clerk.  He is empathetic and compassionate, demonstrating his auxiliary Fe.  He is also fiercely protective of his animals, friends and Iowa.  Yet he displays an unusual use of Ni/Se with his ability to anticipate the future and his heightened sense of hearing.  If shadow functions are the fine china of cognition, Radar throws a lot of dinner parties.

Explorer Temperaments (3rd column)

  • ESTP - Capt. “Trapper” John Patrick Xavier McIntyre
    Trapper is the 4077’s best example of a “live in the moment” guy, acting as though he’s still a bachelor without a care in the world.  Unfortunately, his dominant Se works overtime to remind him that the here and now is full of practically every care in the world.  He has a dry wit and an analytical mind, which are hallmarks of Ti, Trapper’s auxiliary function.  Trapper is a man who loves to thumb his nose at authority, as the ESTP is wont to do.  He is a go-getter and a scamp, as Father Mulcahy aptly described him.

  • ESFP - Han Soon Lee (later Klinger)
    While in the original series we don’t learn much about Soon Lee beyond the fact that family is very important to her, in the series AfterMASH, we discover that she is a rather extroverted character.  Not only does she find her husband’s past exploits amusing, but she is willing to join him in his current ones.  When she first arrives in America, her response is to take it all in.  She dives head first into Max’s world, engaging all her senses as only an Se dominant can.  And yet she retains her very proud identity as a Korean, as well as her own internal moral values, which makes her auxiliary Fi quite clear.  She soon discovers a love for entertaining and engaging others, as she happily dresses up for patients at the VA hospital while helping her husband sell lottery tickets.

  • ISTP - Rosie
    Sarcastic, practical to a fault, angry at the powers that be that thrust this war on her shoulders, and very unsympathetic, Rosie is the strongest example of Ti dominance in Ouijongbu.  She is the no-nonsense owner of the bar across the street from the 4077, yet is not entirely without compassion, as she is known as a safe haven for working women, and has even been willing to forgive the shenanigans of Hawkeye and his friends.  As a barkeeper in one of the toughest neighborhoods in Asia, Rosie has to constantly be on the alert, which her auxiliary Se allows her to do quite handily.

  • ISFP - Private Igor Straminsky
    This one is another place filler.  Igor is an introvert, preferring to avoid dealing all day with crowds angry at him for being the server of Sgt. Sal Pernelli’s ptomaine.  We don’t learn much about Igor, but we do know that he knows the difference between good food and bad, and has no choice but to dish out what Pernelli makes for the staff at the 4077.  He has been known to act irrationally, indicating a possible inferior Te, and he bemoans the loss of his sense of smell, suggesting a preferred usage of Se, likely as his auxiliary function.

Diplomat Temperaments

  • ENFJ - Col. Sherman T. Potter
    Compassionate, empathetic, and with a tendency to take on a little too much emotional baggage at times, the wizened Col. Potter is a clear user of Fe.  He acts as the mentor of the 4077, which, despite his status as regular army and his previous combat experience in both World Wars, immediately endears him to the staff and patients.  While not as developed as his wife’s, Potter’s Ni gives him a gut instinct that comes in handy in both the operating room and in counseling his staff.  He’s been around the block enough times to have adequately developed all his functions, and he’s seen enough to know exactly how to handle troublemakers like Hawkeye and Klinger.  As an older ENFJ, Potter is an ambivert; just as content to curl up with a good Zane Grey novel as he is to attend a company sock wash at the Swamp or officer’s club.

  • ENFP - Capt. Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce
    The epitome of the Advocate personality, Hawkeye is full of ideas and lacks any sort of filter for them, applying them according to his own internal moral code–one that says wars are bad and girls are good.  His dominant Ne gives him a desire to see the big picture, and if no one provides it for him, he assumes the whole thing must be pointless.  And according to his auxiliary Fi, pointlessness is to be resisted at all costs.  Hawkeye is the champion of the underdog, compassionate and sympathetic toward his patients, and spiteful toward those who would use them as cannon fodder.  With Fi as one of his top two functions, Hawkeye is an emotional chameleon.  But the facade cannot last forever, as he painfully learns.

  • INFJ - Capt. BJ Hunnicutt
    BJ is an enigma.  And that is my primary reason for typing him as an INFJ.  Ni is a function that is difficult to see in action.  In BJ, we see his use of this function when he speaks about his singular goal; to get back to Mill Valley and raise his daughter.  BJ displays the best focus of any regular character in the show, yet he is not obsessive.  His auxiliary Fe allows him to put aside his own desires in order to see to the needs of others–especially his best friend Hawkeye.  Yet as is common for the INFJ, BJ is reluctant to express his own feelings, often hiding behind jokes in a manner rather different from the way Hawkeye does.  Unlike Hawkeye, BJ doesn’t use humor or soliloquy to rant and air his opinions.  His humor is quieter, and may even be used to teach a lesson in a trolling sort of way.

  • INFP - 1st Lt. (later Capt.) Fr. John Francis Patrick Mulcahy
    Father Mulcahy is the heart of the 4077, and often needs to be reminded of this.  As is common for an INFP in his position, he can feel unimportant sometimes, when all he wants to do as an Idealist personality is make a difference.  Mulcahy has a very strong sense of identity and morality, which is a clear product of his dominant Fi.  He also has dreams and future plans, and likes to get the full picture before making a decision, which shows his auxiliary Ne.  He is difficult to get to know at first, as he, like Hawkeye and other Fi users, is able to screw a smile onto his face with very little difficulty, and yet, because of his introversion and the first impression his crucifix and collar give, can be unfairly perceived as aloof and holier-than-thou (though he rarely demonstrates this attitude).  When in a fit of rage, Mulcahy takes things very personally and can respond very irrationally, yet always falls short of violating his most closely held principles.  Unless someone else takes the first swing, of course.
The Mess Tent Misconception

Trapper shrugged. “Sure feels kinda personal, he doesn’t lay into you like that. He didn’t even lay into Frank like that this mornin’, despite the fact that the guy woke us up at 6:30 with his stupid recitation of the Constitution.” He let out a dramatic huff since rolling his eyes hurt so much.

***Dear Ma***

Pt. 1:

[Note: Co-written with @trapper-john. I know, what isn’t these days!? Oh, and there is an allusion or two to our “The Longjohn Flap” from season 1 which *ahem* appears in The Trapper Chronicles - and which we haven’t at all been neglecting.]

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