john is dorothy


Throwback (2010) - Celebrities Recreate Iconic Covers for Ebony Magazine’s 65th Anniversary

To celebrate its 65th anniversary issue and icons of the past and present, EBONY magazine asked their favorite entertainers to pose in modern-day recreations of those covers for a one-of-a-kind look back at the past.

Featuring: Regina King (as Eartha Kitt), Mary J. Blige (as Diana Ross), Nia Long (as Dorothy Dandridge), John Legend (as Duke Ellington), Lamman Rucker (as Richard Roundtree), Taraji P. Henson (as Diahann Carroll), Blair Underwood (as Sidney Poitier), Jurnee Smollett (as Lena Horne), Usher Raymond (as Sammy Davis, Jr.), and Samuel L. Jackson (as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.), among others.

Dorothy Jordan, 1931

Jordan is another actress who had a short career, just 1929-33, but in that time she made 23 films. In 1933 she married Merian C. Cooper, director of King Kong, and retired from the movies. She reappeared in the 1950′s for 3 small parts in films by good friend John Ford (including The Searchers, his masterwork).

Who Should You Fight: Romantic Poets Edition

William Blake
Who Wins: Blake
Blake has hidden danger. Like undertow or those steel razor scooters capable of ruining a summer, he will not hesitate to wreck your shit. If you think he’s actually a sweet guy with that whole songs of innocence thing, think again! He has a special song of experience just for you and it’s coming for your ass. Also this old fucker outlived the entire younger half of the Big Six??? AVOID

Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Who Wins: Uncertain
I can kinda see the appeal in fighting Coleridge but the dude is high like literally all the time. This makes his movesets and strength of will unpredictable on any given day. Go ahead and fight him but it’ll take some planning beforehand. Be prepared to face his full force if you interrupt his writing OR be prepared for him to make up some bullshit about you interrupting him afterwards if he loses.

Robert Southey
Who Wins: You
I mean sure, it’s a pretty guaranteed win and it’d be cool to say you beat the guy who wrote the three bears but. He’s a pretty nice guy?? And you want to fight him?? Does he deserve that? Your call man.

William Wordsworth
Who Wins: You (with proper precautions)
Yes for the love of god fight this man oh my god. Fight him. Please. If he cries about your hatred and lack of appreciation for poetry fight him more I will paY YOU. You will win! Easily!! (IMPORTANT NOTE: This outcome is only guaranteed if he is alone. If he is with Dorothy do not approach repeat DO NOT APPROACH)

Dorothy Wordsworth
Who Wifuck this I’m not finishing this you shouldn’t even be reading this the thought should not even be crossing your mind to fight Dorothy DO NOT APPROACH DOROTHY

Robert Burns
Who Wins: Me
I don’t care what anyone says the man is fragile and I will not stand for this. He wrote his most famous poem for a little field mouse and you may not touch him. Fight me.

George Gordon (Lord Byron)
Who Wins: Byron
Byron is 100% the equivalent of that kid in your class who took dodgeball way too seriously. AND he works out. This is a no-brainer–give him any reason to fight and he will fight you, defeat you, loudly tell his friends about your levels of hotness afterward, and then even later might ask you out for a drink. Byron will win. You’re probably going to fight him anyway. I don’t blame you.

Percy Shelley
Who Wins: You
EDITED: Originally there was a warning here about the ethics of fighting “mild-mannered Shelley” but I have since acquired the fucker’s receipts and I now give you full permission to fight Percy “sure babe write your scary story I’m gonna go have sex with a bunch of the people we’re staying with I love our open marriage” Shelley. You will win and Mary will probably watch.

John Keats
Who Wins: You (but ultimately Keats)
What the fuck. Wjha t e the f ukc this is too much for me. What are you gonna do, sneeze and knock him over?? Honestly fuck this, if you fight Keats anyone with even the slightest grasp of the cruel ironies of life will turn on you and then congrats on being hated by everyone forever. Bad idea. Goddamn. (ALSO HE’S BARELY FIVE FEET TALL LIKE I’M YELLING!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS)

Just a little nap.

“John she won’t fucking go down” Polly shouted across the betting shop trying to get the attention of her Nephew.

“She’s three, should she still be having naps?” Tommy asked walking out of the kitchen with Arthur.

“You had naps until you were five, and she wouldn’t be so grumpy if somebody hadn’t been playing with her stupidly early this morning” Polly replied shifting Dorothy in her arms.

“It’s not my fault she woke up, what was I meant to do” John called over from the chalk board.

“Not encourage her, now can someone else try and settle her please”

“I’ve got her” Tommy replied taking his sister “come on little bug lets get you to sleep”

5 minuets later he was walking back into the betting shop from Arthur’s office stating that it was bloody useless and somebody else better take her before he threw her out of the window.

“Give ‘er to John, he’s the only person she’ll settle with” Ada called from where she was collecting bets at the other side of the room. Tommy walked over to John before unceremoniously dumping her on the chair closest to the chalk board.

“Aww is Tommy being nasty, Dotty Bug?” John cooed in his sisters ear as he picked her up and settled her on his hip. “She’s bloody freezing I bet that’s why she won’t settle” he chastised his brother while picking up his discarded suit jacket with his free hand.

“Come on little one, let’s get you all wrapped up and toasty. You know you really should go down for your nap when aunt Polly asks you to.”

“I wanted you though. We didn’t even get warm milk this morning because you had to go and play with the chalk board”
“I’m not playing Dotty, I’m working”

Dorothy just grumbled incoherently snuggling her head closer into johns neck while he bounced her on his hip.

“John new change at Worcester” someone shouted over at him, before promptly being shushed by Polly as she noticed that Dorothy had finally fallen asleep in johns arms.

“I don’t dare move her now”

“But not to those filthy Winkies or, God forbid, QUADLINGS.  Up yours, Glinda!”

Ozma of Oz ad from the end of Marvel’s MGM-style Land of Oz (1975).  Art by “Jazzy” John Romita.

I painstaking restored this one as much as I could, from the pretty horrible original.  Surprise: newsprint from 1975 hasn’t aged well.  My copy of this comic is honestly VG+ (the cover is absolutely immaculate), but the interior pages of comics from this era just look terrible decades later.

Anyway, I love this piece.  I mean, it’s John Romita.  It ain’t gonna suck.  But I’m particularly taken with totally off-model sexy Ozma.  Nicely done, Johnny.

Also, THIS AD IS A LIE.  Ozma of Oz never came out on February 3rd, 1976.  It was apparently canceled once Marvel realized that the source material wasn’t actually public domain yet.  Unless the ad is actually 100% accurate and only Gillikins and Munchkins could buy it.

I hope you realize that L. Frank Baum invented the Magical Girl genre.

For real, though—

  • As far as I can see, all his protagonists are young girls.
  • Except for that one boy who, you know, turned out to be the Lost Princess of Oz.
  • And who then made a habit of rounding up ordinary girls from the Real World to serve as her royal companions so that they could go on adventures together and face down whatever evil Oz had to offer.
  • Emphasis on friendship.
  • Glinda the Good. Enough said.
  • Sparkling shoes that take you places.

Original art for MGM’S Marvelous Wizard of Oz (1975).  Pencils by “Jovial” John Buscema.  Inks by "Trailblazin’“ Tony DeZuniga.  Letters by "I Don’t Have A Cool Nickname Because I Worked Exclusively With DC” Gaspar Saladino.

I found this on eBay tonight and had to share it immediately.  And if anyone has $600 lying around, it’d make an excellent belated Christmas present for me.  Because seriously, if there’s one thing I love even more than Oz, it’s comics, and bronze age comics are my favorite era of Marvel and DC.