john carter was not a shit movie

anonymous asked:

What are a few books you'd recommend someone read? That you really like? I'd like some new books to read and I figured I'd ask you?

oh boy, you’ve really opened pandoras box now, because i have a lot

here we go, I’m going by genre:


The Barsoom Series (also known as the John Carter books) by Edgar Rice Burroughs. There are eleven books in the series, but they’re really short. This shit is gonna be 100 years old in two years, but it still holds up. Attractive, sarcastic motherfucker goes to mars, meets aliens, action happens. Has badass warrior ladies, which was huge for that time period. If you’ve seen the movie, you kinda know the gist of it, but holy crap the movie is shit compared to the books. 

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. Technically six books, but Adams died before he could write the sixth so Eoin Colfer stepped in and wrote it. World gets blown up to make a hyperspace bypass, the last man alive and a cast of ridiculous characters end up traversing the universe together. Marvin the depressed robot is the greatest character you will ever meet. This series is fucking insane. It’ll make you fall to the floor gasping for air one minute, and the next it’ll fuck your mind so bad you need to stare at a wall for an hour. Everything is connected. And I do mean fucking everything. Some of the best comedy I’ve ever read.

Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton. It’s Jurassic Park, you know what the fuck it’s about. But the book is a lot different and a shit ton more intense than the movie. I had nightmares about this shit. It’s great.


Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor. Three books, but they’re pretty damn long. Holy fucking shit, this series. It’s one of those things that no matter how many times you try to explain it, you just can’t. It’s one of the most beautifully written and brilliantly imagined series I’ve ever read. The characters feel alive, the magic feels real, and the tears you’ll shed are definitely gonna be real. If you like mythical creatures, mystery, magic, paradoxes, and some of the most gorgeous writing you’ll ever read, this is the book for you.

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. Stand alone book. The most absurdly amazing book you’ll ever read. Basically, an angel who sucks at being an angel and a demon who sucks at being a demon like the world the way it is, so they decide to sabotage armageddon. But somebody has misplaced the antichrist. It’s fucking hilarious, very clever, riddled with Queen songs, and just when you think it can’t get any more insane, it does. Holy shit it does.

The Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini. Four books in the series. Dragons. Magic. An evil ruler that has to be defeated. All the classic fantasy you could possibly want, written beautifully. 

Urban Fantasy:

Percy Jackson and the Olympians by Rick Riordan. Five books in the series. Modern day Greek Mythos. Fucking hilarious first person narration given from one of our many demigods, Percy Jackson. The chapter titles are a gift to this world, shit like “I Accidentally Vaporize My Pre-Algebra Teacher.” Good gods, do yourself a favor and read this.

The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher. Fifteen books so far, not stopping any time soon. This series has it all. Humor, heartbreak, magic, amazing villains, mystery in Chicago. The main character is the most wisecracking wizard to ever exist, I’ve fallen off the bed laughing several times due to the narration alone. The world is amazingly well developed, the characters are perfect, the writing is hilarious, but also incredibly fucking sad when it needs to be. I can’t say too much without giving away spoilers, but if you’re willing to start this monster of a series, it’s absolutely worth your time.

The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Claire. Six books. This series is very well written, the shadow world is amazingly well developed, it’s funny, heartbreaking, badass, and a really entertaining read. Plus, a couple gay and bisexual main characters. Very angelic based, most of the main characters are nephilim, keeping ‘order’ in the shadow world, which doesn’t bode well for the other magical creatures that exist. Revolts happen, and wars break out, causing several cases of severely questioned morals, so if you like that sort of thing, this series is definitely up your alley. Magnus Bane is a gift to humanity.

The SPI Files by Lisa Shearin. Two books so far. Very similar to the Dresden Files, magic wise. The main character is a tiny, hilarious, adorable, blonde, tequila drinking, powdered-donut loving Seer in a supernatural agency full of badasses. Very funny, the one liners in these books are legendary. It’s a very unknown series, but it’s really good, and I’d really love to see more people read it.

These are just off the top of my head, so there are plenty more I didnt think of just now…

go read! and I’m sorry for probably ruining your life!