john bolt


Eyegasm: Every Disney ‘Art Of’ Book

The Fairest One of All by J.B. Kaufman

Pinocchio: The Making of the Disney Epic by J.B. Kaufman

Walt Disney’s Fantasia by John Culhane

Bambi: The Story and the Film by Frank Thomas & Ollie Johnston

Cinderella: A Dream Come True (author unknown)

Peter Pan Sketchbook by various

Once Upon a Dream: From Perrault’s Sleeping Beauty to Disney’s Maleficent by C. Solomon

Le Livre de la Jungle by Pierre Lambert

The Art of the Little Mermaid by Jeff Kurtti

Tale as Old as Time: The Art and Making of Beauty and the Beast by C. Solomon

Aladdin: The Making of an Animated Film by John Culhane

The Art of The Lion King by Christopher Finch

The Art of Pocahontas by Stephen Rebello

The Art of The Hunchback of Notre Dame by Stephen Rebello

The Art of Hercules: The Chaos of Creation by Stephen Rebello

The Art of Mulan by Jeff Kurtti

Tarzan Chronicles by Howard E. Green

Fantasia 2000: Visions of Hope by John Culhane

Atlantis: The Lost Empire: The Illustrated Script by Jeff Kurtti

Lilo & Stitch: Collected Stories From the Film’s Creators by H. Wakabayashi

Treasure Planet: A Voyage of Discovery by Jeff Kurtti

Brother Bear: A Transformation Tale by H. Wakabayashi

Home on the Range: The Adventures of a Bovine Goddess by Monique Peterson

Chicken Little: From Henhouse to Hollywood: Unplucked! by Monique Peterson

The Art of Meet the Robinsons by Tracey Miller-Zarneke

The Art of Bolt by Mark Cotta Vaz

The Art of The Princess and the Frog by Jeff Kurtti

The Art of Tangled by Jeff Kurtti

The Art of Wreck-It Ralph by by Jennifer Lee & Maggie Malone

The Art of Frozen by Charles Solomon

The Art of Big Hero 6 by Jessica Julius

The Art of Zootopia by Jessica Julius

The Art of Moana by Jessica Julius and Maggie Malone



Okay, but since the writers are clearly screwing with everyone now, and so many fans were convinced Tom Hiddleston would be playing a third Holmes brother…

The ACTUAL BEST thing they could do is say they were taking John to meet Sherrinford up in the tower. When they get there, he sees Tom Hiddleston. But then it turns out Tom’s just the maintenance man or something.

You hear, “I am Sherrinford.” And Mary steps out.

Birdy-effin-Edwardsed, man.


Pairing: Alexander Hamilton x John Laurens

Request: can you write me that good lams angst💦💦 im thirsty for the angst please like something with johns dad being homophobic and john crying/being sad bc of that and alex comforting or something ?? ? thank<<3 ~Anonymous

Words: 626

Warnings: Angst; modern AU; lams; homophobic father; drabble


“John everything is going to be fine.” Alex assures his boyfriend, placing a hand on Johns knee which was bouncing up and down. The bouncing ceased as John looked from his house to his boyfriend who sat in the drivers seat.

What? Yeah I know it’s just my dad doesn’t know and-“ John began to ramble but was stopped when Alexanders hand made its way to the nape of Johns neck pulling him forward.

Their lips crashed together, instantly shutting John up. John brought up his hands, cupping Alexanders face. The kiss was needy but finally slowed down for it to be more passionate.

“Laurens I love you.” Johns freckled face stretched out into a smile showing his perfectly white teeth.

“I love you too Alexander.” With one last kiss the two men got out of the car softly slamming the door behind them. Alex walked around and grabbed John’s hand into his leading him to the front door. Once up there John took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell. John took a step back. Alex gave Johns hand a soft squeeze to reassure him.

Not even a minute later the door opened revealing John’s father Henry.

“Hey dad.” John felt awkward, meeting his fathers scrutinizing gaze. Henry’s eyes went from his son to the stranger beside him. They were holding hands.

“The hell is this?!” He spat. Johns stomach dropped. Alexander squeezed John’s hand.

“Dad I-” Henry wouldn’t let his son finish.

“I didn’t raise a faggot! I didn’t raise no pussy!” Alexander clenched his fist, the one that wasn’t holding John’s hand.

“Dad please I-” John choked on his words as tears formed in his eyes. Henry glared at the two of them.

“Your no son of mine if you’re a fag.” Henry snarled before slamming the door in their faces. John released Alex’s hand as he broke down. Alex quickly wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and guided him to the car.

Alexanders hands were white as he gripped the steering wheel as tight as he can as he drove down the street, John sitting besides him his face buried in his hands as he cried.

It took everything in Alex to not turn the car around to punch Johns fathers teeth in. What seemed like forever Alex pulled up in his spot in the front of his apartment. He got out and went around to Johns side.

John unbuckled himself and got out of the car where Alexander was waiting for him. They walked together in silence up to the apartment the only noise being the small sniffs John made.

Once the door was unlocked John bolted to the bedroom, Alexander hot on his heels. John collapse onto the bed with a new wave of tears.

It was painful to see John like this. Alex sat down besides John and rubbed his back. Sitting up John wrapped his arms around Alexander, burying his face in the crook of his neck. Alex held John, rocking them back and forth as he whispered comforting words to John, occasionally kissing the top of his head.

In time the rocking came to a stop. Alex ran his hand slowly through John’s thick curls. Looking down at John he was asleep. With one last kiss on the head, very slowly and carefully he laid John down on the bed. Alex skillfully took John’s shoes off without waking him before pulling the blanket on him.

Alex kicked his own shoes off before climbing into bed with John. He pulled the curly haired boy to his chest, wrapping a protective arm around him. John buried his face into Alex. A smile twitched on his face before closing his eyes. And soon enough Alex started drifting off to sleep.

Dracula themes and references in Sherlock: series 1


AS I began to write about my favourite scene in TGG: The Golem, planetarium fight, what I consider to be the emotional climax of series 1, I began to realise that the theme of Dracula/Nosferatu was not just in this scene but that it ran through the show.  At the planetarium the scene turns around on Sherlock and he goes from Dracula to Harker and must face his own seduction.  

This is why there’s such a change from Sherlock’s look in series 1 to series 2.  In ASiB, we see Sherlock eating in the first third of the episode. He seems healthy and robust and there are a lot of scenes in sunny daytime.

I have come to see the Golem/planetarium fight scene as the climax of the Dracula theme, as well as the emotional climax.  For that is a story about seduction and giving in to forbidden, frightening pleasures.  About the incredible seductive power of a lonely, mysterious man, who will take your will and make you his slave.


Dracula shows us a piece of the Victorian psyche.  Its themes show us the sexual anxieties of the time.  Including but not limited to:

*homosexual fear (Harker)

*fear of unbridled sexuality 

*fear of blood-bourne illness

*fear of penetration

*xenophobia, fear of foreigners, ‘from the East’

*fear of the loss of the maternal instinct in women (Lucy)

*fear of female sexuality (Nina)



In Series 1, in John’s interaction with Sherlock we see him as Jonathan Harker arriving at a strange and mysterious man’s home.  We see him eat while Sherlock does not.  We see that a significant portion of the plot occurs after nightfall.  Sherlock’s makeup is very pale and ghostly, a marked change from the original pilot where he looked much more accessible and less other-wordly.  The way that his coat collar is turned up is reminiscent of Dracula’s cape collar.  

The lighting and camera work are often suggestive of being in a spell or trance.  Throughout ASiP, especially we see Sherlock lit in a very soft and cool lightning emphasising his facial beauty and also giving him an ethereal quality.  The camera work when Sherlock explains his first set of deductions about John is very spinny.  It’s dizzying in its focus, it’s almost like an early version of the TBB, 'spinny kiss’, it has the effect of two men mesmerised by looking at each other.  But, always the emphasis is on Sherlock’s 'otherness’.  John, here, looks very handsome but very everymanish.  Sherlock, looks as otherworldly and dapper as we’ve ever seen him. 

Note: the movie Nosferatu has changed the names of the characters because they could not get permission to use them.  Hence, Dracula becomes Orlok, Harker becomes Hutter (which reminds me of Hudders) and Nina becomes Ellen.



First parallel to Nosferatu: John bolts up in bed, awoken from a dream.  He has not yet met Sherlock.  In the Dracula subtext, this is John being called to Sherlock, whom he will soon meet,

Ellen bolts up in bed, awoken from a dream about Dracula.  She has not yet met Dracula.  This is Dracula summoning her from a dream,

HLV, John bolts up from a dream about Sherlock, looking like Dracula, things are becoming more explicit,


Introduction to Sherlock as supernaturally omnipresent:


Our first look at Sherlock.  Note his first interaction, here, is with a dead body,

Classic Bela Lugosi as Dracula,



Hutter, eating dinner at Dracula’s,

Orlok, not eating/doesn’t need to eat.  Trying to act normal, reading,

Sherlock, not eating/doesn’t need to eat,

Nosferatu Parallel, at the Roland-Kerr Further Education College.  What sort of, 'further’, education might Sherlock and John require?



Sherlock still not eating,

This spin is disorienting and hypnotic.  Dracula puts you under a spell that you cannot combat,

Not sleeping/doesn’t need to sleep,




In TGG, the Dracula tables are about to turn on Sherlock.  Note that in this episode John wears his coat collar turned up.

This symbolizes reciprocity: Sherlock cannot be only the seducer without eventually acknowledging that he’s also the seduced.  He is under John’s spell, too,

Sherlock is still not eating,


The Golem

The most iconic reference to Nosferatu is his shadow.  Here is the Golem as Nosferatu,

Here we have Sherlock as the Nosferatu and John as Hutter,

And then, the opposite: John as Orlok and Sherlock as Hutter.  This is the meaning of the Golem scene: Sherlock faces that he’s fallen for John as well,

Now, here we have two Hutters vs The Golem.  Fear of feelings and fear of sex.  With far away melancholy look of fear and already-panting look of fear.  Exit sign shows urge to flee due to these fears,

Feeling concerned about his body: 'where’s my penis symbol?’  

“Don’t worry I brought it and will give it to you”,

Note this happens again in HLV.  "Do you have your phallic symbol/boner?  Here I will give it to you",

Ever notice how much professor Cairns (caring?) looks like Sherlock?  She is the person that the Golem is there to kill.  She is looking for information, knowledge.  Here, she looks particularly, 'illuminated’.  She’s looking for knowledge of the solar system, Sherlock’s code for, 'feelings’, and while she could have googled this on her phone in like 5 seconds, she’s here, dramatically engaging with some 20th century technology,

Note that she also looks like John.  She’s wearing a grey open sweater vest, and has blonde hair.  She is a visual mash-up of our protagonists,

Here come Sherlock, armed with feelings and a boner.  Notice how John is specifically not inside the feelings circle.  John’s okay with his feelings,

Golem’s shadow, once again, contrasted with the exit.  The urge to flee is strong when it comes to facing the Golem,

No other scene in Sherlock is as disorienting and chaotic as this fight scene.  This is one of the most vulnerable moments for Sherlock, since he’s entirely out of his element.  In the realm of feelings, fighting an man symbolic of male seduction and loss of control.

Rendered helpless from behind,

Such a romantic moment, here.  "Save me, Janus!  Do you see what’s going on?“

'Don’t worry, baby, I got this.  Look at me, I’m smiling’,

Immediately the Golem’s like, 'you’re not afraid?  You’re next, bro!’  And John’s like, 'ahhh!  I am afraid, dammit!’

Hey, Sherlock, the Golem’s going to throw John at you.  You ready?  (With intense pink between-his-legs feelings)

The editing does a beautiful nod to old films in this obvious instance.  It brings me great pleasure.  Sherlock falls to our left with what looks like a film burn mark on the bottom of the screen,

Yet, he gets up and is directly in front of the Golem.  This is a purposeful break in continuity as homage to early films,

Sherlocks gets knocked down to our left for a second time,

The Golem attacks,

John jumps on the Golem, symbolizing that he is the Golem.  He’s the one seducing him, like Dracula would,

The emotional climax: John 'saves’ him from the Golem.  But, when his hands pull away from Sherlock’s face, his reaction is unusual.  He looks relaxed, surprised, and a bit wistful, is he sad to see the hands go away? Maybe it’s a matter of, 'you don’t know what you got 'til it’s gone’?

We must remember that when Dracula attacks you, he does not overpower you with force but with his magical charms.  By the time he’s on you, you want him to be there.  He makes you want it,

Notice the unusual gesture of the hands.  They, too, look relaxed and not threatening or tense,

Notice the size and shape of the hands is much more suggestive of John’s hands than of the Golem’s hands.  When they are near his heart, more light orbs appear, symbolising Sherlock’s feelings.  This is Sherlock under John’s spell,


Stay tuned for some other Dracula themes in the rest of the story.

Sonnet 18 - Part 1 (Maria Reynolds Series)

Authors Note: So this is my first series that I’m working on! I’m super excited about this, hope you all like it!

Warnings: slight language, Female!Reader

Word Count: 2116

Proofread by the lovely @sammy–moosechester <3


I turned to see my friend Alexander jogging towards me, his dark hair flying around. I slowed down enough for him to catch up. As we fell in step like always, he handed me a piece of paper.

“Professor Washington said my summer report was too long,” he grumbled. A large B- was written in red at the top. I rolled my eyes as I shoved the paper back into his hands.

“That isn’t a bad grade,” I replied. “You also should know by now that there’s a limit to words with those reports.” We reached our new English class, thankfully the last one for today, and sat down on the left side of the room. As I pulled out my notebook, I saw a few of my other friends, Lafayette and Hercules, come in. Alex waved them over. Herc sat into the seat next to me, while Laf looked over Alex’s shoulder.

“Texting your amour again?” he said, smirking. Alex shoved him away as we all laugh.

“John is in a different class, okay?” Alex said. He hid his face in his hair, but it doesn’t disguise the blush creeping up his face.

Someone plopped into the seat in front of me. I looked up to see Angelica Schuyler pulling her hair out of a ponytail and turning around to look at me.

“What’s up?” She asked me, pulling a pen out of her pocket.

“Not much,” I respond, my eyes scanning the classroom. “I was thinking of getting coffee after this, you up for it?”

“Sure. Also, Eliza isn’t in this class.” My eyes snapped to her, and she giggled. I folded my arms and slumped back in my chair.

“Hey, I was just looking around.”

“Please, you always look for her. You two are best friends, how didn’t you know?”

I sighed. “I forgot to ask this morning, and I couldn’t text her. Her phone broke, remember?”

She nodded. “That’s right. Well, she’s supposed to get a new one tonight. Come with me after this and I’ll help you find her.”

“Thanks, Ang.”

“Anytime, Y/N/N.”

Lafayette leaned over the table and waved Angelica down. She looked at him, confusion streaking across her face.

“Do you happen to know where your sister is?” He inquired as he tied his long hair up.

“Eliza?” She asked.

“No, Peggy, the younger one. I want to talk with her.”

“You’re not going on a date with my sister, but nice try.” Laf’s mouth dropped open. Alex laughed loudly, receiving a disapproving look from the professor. He dropped his head and continued rapidly tapping his phone. Lafayette hadn’t recovered from Angelica’s statement when the bell rang,. Ang turned around and Laf sat back down, his mouth still slightly open. Herc hastily pulled out a notebook and I passed him a pencil before he could even ask.

“Thanks,” he whispered.

“Just give it back at the end of the day,” I whispered back. He nodded, and turned his attention to the front. The professor pointed to the board, which read, Professor Coleman: Reading Poems, Romantic to Modern.

“If you are in the incorrect class, please exit now,” she said. Her voice was hard, a sure sign that she’s a strict teacher. “You will address me as Professor Coleman. Welcome to my poetry course.” She had long black hair, all in little braids, and dark skin. Her dress was flowing and purple, matching her shoes. There was barely any makeup on her face, but she didn’t need it. She stood up straight, while confidence radiated from her.

“If you will turn to page 27, we are going to start with one of Shakespeare’s most well known sonnet, Sonnet 18,” she continued. I had just flipped to the page when the door swung open. A girl entered, looking a bit worn out.

“Sorry, ma’am,” she said, smiling a little. “I went to the wrong classroom.”

“It’s alright,” Professor Coleman said. She gestured for her to take a seat. As the girl walked, I couldn’t help but watch her. She was absolutely breathtaking; long brown curly hair, tan skin, brown eyes, and a beautiful smile. Dark blue jeans hugged her legs, and she paired them with a red v-neck top. Her figure was amazing, absolutely jaw dropping. She was just astounding. I was still staring at her as she sat down. Alex nudged my shoulder. I turned around to see a smirk on his face.

“Shut up,” I said, shoving his arm away. He raised his eyebrows and laughed through his nose before turning back to his textbook. I turned to mine as well, but I couldn’t concentrate. All of my thoughts were on the girl in the red shirt that came in late. I wondered what her name was, who she was. I tried my best, but eventually gave up and just prayed that the professor didn’t call on me. The bell finally rang, blessing me with freedom. I quickly packed up my things. Before I could take off, Angelica grabbed my arm.

“Did you forget about coffee?” She asked. Her eyes searched my face, and I could see the concern in her eyes.

“Oh yeah, sorry,” I said as we left. “Just a little distracted. Also, could I take a look at your notes?”

“Um, I guess. Just wait until we get there. Also, I texted Peggy, so she’ll be there with Eliza.”


“Did you say you were meeting Peggy?” Lafayette interjected, practically coming from nowhere. “I’m coming.”

“I’m meeting John there,” Alex said as he appeared next to me. “Herc is going to come too.”

“I think I can talk for myself,” Herc yelled, as the hallway kept getting louder. Ang sighed as we all walked out of the building.

We headed across the street to the small coffee shop on campus, called “Beautiful Brew.” Tables were scattered all over the place, and a bookshelf with old textbooks across one wall. One section of the room was specifically for students who had to study, with translucent walls surrounding it to try and give the space a bit of privacy. We all sat down at a table and waited for the others to get there. As we did, we all wrote down our orders. This way, only one of us would have to go up there. When Alex began to write down his drink, John walked in with Aaron Burr. We’re friends with him too, but he tended to hang around these two guys that some of us can’t stand. I personally don’t really care.

As soon as Alex saw John, he bolted out of his chair. Aaron laughed as the two men threw themselves into one another. He headed over to the studying area, shooting us a smile as he went. Herc snapped a photo when they kissed to show them later. I waved to John as they came and sat down. A few minutes after that, Eliza and Peggy came in. I jumped up to hug them both. I heard a chair scrape as Laf stood up, only to then hear Angelica pull him back into his chair.

“It’s so good to see you!” Eliza exclaimed as she hugged me again. Peggy smiled at me before going to see her oldest sister.

“I just saw you this morning,” I laughed. She giggled, and we joined the rest of our friends at our table. Once they finished their orders, it was time to decide who would go up to the counter to order everything. Before anyone could say anything, Alex spoke.

“I think Y/N should order.”

“What?” I said, trying to remain calm. Then, my phone went off. I pulled it out of my pocket to see a text from Alex:

Look whos behind the counter dumbass

I looked up and saw the girl from our poetry class. Instead of the red shirt, she wore a dark green polo shirt and a lighter green apron. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail. I gulped, and then my phone went off again. It was another text from Alex.

Get your gay ass over there before someone else does

I stood up slowly. I could see Alex smirking at me, but I was too nervous to punch him. I grabbed the notepad and walked up to the counter. There was no line, which meant I had to talk to her as soon as I was there.

“Hi, how can I help you today?” she asked. Her voice was smooth and almost musical. I quickly looked at the orders and start rattling them off. I was afraid to look at her, afraid that I would stop talking and stare at her. When I got to Alex’s order, however, I stopped. Apparently, when he got up to see John, he dragged the pen across the page. I couldn’t read his order. Pulling the pad closer to my face, I read over it again and again. Someone cleared their throat. Looking up, I saw the girl holding her hand out.

“Can I take a look?” she asks sweetly. “I may be able to figure out what it is.” I nod and hand it over. She takes a look at it and entered something into the computer.

“So, I think this is an order for a black coffee, but I’m not totally sure,” she said. I could tell she was nervous about messing up the order. I smiled.

“Even if it’s wrong, he’s going to drink it,” I said, “because it’s his fault we can’t read his order.”  The girl laughed, creating the most beautiful noise I had ever heard. I laughed along with her, glad that I wasn’t messing this up. After typing in the rest of the orders, and me paying her, the girl looked up at me. Before I could think, I started talking.

“So, I think I saw you in my poetry class earlier,” I said quickly. She nodded.

“Yeah, I saw you too. Professor Coleman’s room was hard to find.”

“Tell me about it. Who teaches behind the boiler room?”

“I know, right?” We both laughed. Then, my order was ready. All of my friends came up to get their drinks. The girl handed me mine. I took a deep breath, asking her one last thing before I went to sit down.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your name?”

“It’s Maria, Maria Reynolds,” she stated, smiling. “What’s yours?”

“Y/N Y/L/N.”

“That’s so pretty!”

“I like yours better.” She blushed at that. Suddenly, there’s a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see Angelica.

“My notes are at your spot, just so you know,” she whispered. I nodded, and she headed back to the table. I looked back at Maria.

“I guess I’ll see you around,” I said, my heart beating fast. She smiled shyly.

“Yeah, I guess so,” she replied. I smiled back, then headed over to my seat. As I sat down, my phone buzzed. With one glance towards Alex, I could tell it was him. He was practically bouncing up and down. I checked the text message.

Get ittttttttttt Y/N

I rolled my eyes, then pulled out my notebook to copy Ang’s notes. Apparently, we had been talking about the meaning behind Shakespeare’s 18th Sonnet. We were supposed to have multiple entries on this topic. She had written the poem down, so I read it over.

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer’s lease hath all too short a date:
Sometimes too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm’d;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature’s changing course, untrimm’d;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest,
Nor shall Death brag thou wander’st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest;
 So long as men can breathe , or eyes can see,
 So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.”

Once I finished reading it, I looked back at Maria. She was making someone’s drink, but I could still see her face. I turned back around and wrote down my first entry.

Entry 1: There is a theme of love in Shakespeare’s 18th Sonnet. He is expressing how he sees someone else, and how he sees their beauty. This person will never become less beautiful in his eyes because he loves them. How wonderful is it that someone could feel something so strong for someone else, that someone else’s beauty could never fade from their eyes.

anonymous asked:

76 ("i can't ... i can't lose you.") with lams! ur a great writer btw

thank you so much!! here you go <3 

Word Count: 810 (whoops sorry it’s so long)

Warnings: mentions of death

Alex woke up in the middle of the night when he felt his bed trembling. He rolled onto his side to look at his boyfriend, and found him shuddering uncontrollably. Fear struck his heart and he wrapped John into his arms. His normally warm skin felt clammy to Alex’s touch.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Alexander asked, placing kiss on his boyfriend’s cheek. John huddled himself into the embrace, but couldn’t stop shaking. He was in a cold sweat, and Alexander wondered if it was a nightmare. After touching his wrist to his boyfriend’s forehead, though, he found a roaring fever.

“Oh, honey, you’re burning up!” Alexander said, feeling nervous. He hated fevers. They brought back so many painful memories.

“I f-feel like I’m fr-freezing,” John shuddered into his boyfriend’s chest, and Alex tightened his grip and wrapped the blankets closer around them.

“Just try to calm down,” Alexander said soothingly, running his fingers through John’s beautiful curly hair and kissing his forehead. Eventually his shivers subsided and they both managed to fall back asleep.

In the morning, though, John bolted out of bed and ran to the bathroom, throwing up violently, trembling again. Alex chased after him and held back his hair, trying to calm himself and his boyfriend down.

“Are you okay?” Alex asked after John sat back. “Do you feel like you’re going to throw up again?”

John shook his head, but he still looked queasy, his face unsettlingly pale. Alexander scooped him up into his arms and carried him out to the living room couch, swaddling him in blankets. He set about making herbal tea and gathering some of John’s favourite books, movies, and magazines, bringing them all to his sick boyfriend.

After Alexander had buzzed around for hours, fretting over his boyfriend, John took his hand.

“Alex, honey… please calm down,” he begged, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“I’m sorry, I’m just really worried about you,” Alex said, sinking down into a chair positioned next to John.

“I’ll be fine,” John smiled, but then began to cough, another shudder running through him.

“Can I at least take your temperature?” Alexander asked, his voice filled with concern. John nodded and Alexander ran to get the thermometer. John silently prayed that it would be a somewhat low fever, not for his sake, but for his boyfriend’s. No such luck.

“Jesus! You’re at 104 degrees! We should call the doctor!” Alexander cried frantically, panic welling in him.

Again, John grabbed his hand. “Please, Alexander, I’ll be fine! Don’t freak out. The fever will break.”

Alexander sat down again, staring at John with fear behind his eyes. “Fine. But, please, if you’re still running this high in two hours, let me call the doctor.”

“Okay,” John nodded. “But please, for now, try to relax.”

They were quiet for the next few hours. John tried to hide his shudders as he read The Princess Bride for the umpteenth time, and Alexander failed to focus on his own book, Leviathan. After two hours had passed, and not a moment more, Alex whipped out the thermometer again and took his boyfriend’s temperature.

“Oh my God,” Alexander said, panic constricting his airway as he read the tiny display. “We have to go to the hospital.”

As he was being scooped gently into Alex’s arms, John asked quietly, “What did it say?”


“It’s a bad bug, Mr. Hamilton, but he’ll be fine. It’s good that you brought him in, though. He should spend the night.”

As the doctor spoke, Alex’s anxiety lessened, but he was still uneasy. When the doctor stopped speaking, Alexander replied as calmly as he could, but his voice still shook; “See, you keep telling me that he’s going to be fine, but that’s what the doctors said about my mother, and she died under their watch.”

“Oh… I’m very sorry to hear that, Mr. Hamilton, but I assure you that Mr. Laurens is in very good hands.”

“Okay,” Alexander nodded, looking down at the ground. He still wasn’t convinced.

“Ring if you need anything, okay?” the doctor said, clapping a hand to Alex’s shoulder.

Alexander nodded and went back into the hospital room, taking a seat by his boyfriend’s head.

“The doctors say you’re going to be okay,” Alex said, but John could hear the tremor in his voice.

“Alexander, are you okay?” John asked, taking his hand.

When he felt John’s hand in his own, Alex’s eyes filled up with tears, remembering the feeling of his mother’s hand in his as the life faded…

I can’t… I can’t lose you,” Alexander said, the tears spilling onto his face. “Not like I lost her… you mean too much to me.”

John felt tears prick his own eyes. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said, kissing his boyfriend’s hand.

Wiping at his tears, Alex laughed, “You better mean that.” John did.