john 117

“The Package” is Thel ‘Lodamee’s retelling of the event. Hear me out…

Everything is upped just a little (except for Halsey’s age). The weapons are more powerful, the lines more dramatic, and while Spartans are incredible, that was still quite the corridor they mowed through.

But consider it through ‘Lodamee’s perspective. He was the one who had captured Halsey in the first place (we learn this from The Fall of Reach adjunct), and after Blue Team had plowed through the entire fleet and ship, it was him who beat John-117. And he would have gotten the Demon too, if it hadn’t been for that meddling commander (so guys, his honor is totally intact).

Also… the Covenant that the Spartans so easily plowed through? Distinctly not Sangheili.

He doesn’t understand human aging, so that’s why Halsey looks frighteningly young. He’s somehow aware that a lot of human drama comes from romance, which is why you get the *shudders for eternity* flirting between her and John

And that’s why we also get John’s awfully cheesy line of “that Elite was strong, I have to be stronger.” Because of course ‘Lodamee left such an impression on the Demon that he was on his mind long after the battle.

“The Package” is totally a dramatic retelling that ‘Lodamee was certain he was going to carve into his family’s Saga.

I cannot believe it’s canon in the Halo universe that Chief has his own action figure oh my god, thank you for this Halo: Escalation #7

What are the chances that Kelly persuades the rest of Blue Team pay obscene amounts of money to have a Chief action figure shipped to them so they can relentlessly tease John with it

What if he wakes up in the mornings and they’ve posed it seductively at the end of his bunk