*compares Donald Trump to Voldemort*
Except he's not a Slytherin -- he's impulsive, rash, hot-tempered, and puts a lot of value on his public image and how people see him...plus he shows no resourcefulness, self-preservation, or loyalty to his inner-circle, since he had multiple divorces and only seems focused on himself. So basically he's an evil Gryffindor! ...Wait. What about Hillary? SHE shows resourcefulness, cleverness, and loyalty to her inner circle...plus she is methodical in her decision-making, can be incredibly flexible, and will kiss up to people to get her way. And of course she was vilified by people who mistook her cleverness for deviousness--OH MY GOD, HILLARY IS A GOOD SLYTHERIN HOLY COW.
TWO NIGHTS AGO I LITERALLY ROLLED DOWN THE CAR WINDOW AND SAID “patrick, if you’re listening, drop something, a song, an album, anything i don’t care” AND APPARENTLY MY CALL HAS BEEN ANSWERED I SUMMONED FALL OUT BOY YOU GUYS
Can you do one where y/n and joe have a really funny and drunk conversation, but like still sharing their love and exchange kisses and stuff?
Word Count - 2,049
Warnings - N/A
“Why can’t I have another shot?” Joe whined,
reaching for the tiny glass that was perched on the edge of the table in front
“Joe, you’ve had enough.” Caspar chuckled,
standing up from his seat and prising the glass out of Joe’s grip.
“I only want one more.” Joe muttered, leaning
against Caspar’s shoulder as Caspar rolled his eyes at his friend.
Joe was completely out of it; you were drunk but no way near
as bad as Joe was. But this one of the many reasons you enjoyed visiting London,
because it was a chance for you to let your hair down and enjoy yourself. Joe
made the visit more enjoyable; you had to admit that to yourself.
“Y/N will give me another shot, won’t you?” Joe
slurred, leaning over to you and draping his arm around your shoulder, eyeing
up the glass you had in your hand.
Caspar gave you a look, knowing that Joe would be the one to
pay for it and Caspar would have to be the one to look after him.
“Sorry, no can do. If looks could kill, Caspar would
have put me six feet under.” You chuckled, your head swimming as the
effects of the last couple of shots started to take effect.
“Please?” Joe begged as Caspar looked away from
you both to talk to Conor.
Giggling to yourself, you handed him another shot before Joe
downed it quickly before Caspar had the chance to look back.
Looking at Joe, you smiled to yourself. He was actually very
cute when he was drunk. His eyes were brighter, his cheeks were flushed due to
the alcohol and he just sat cuddling everyone, and these were just a few of the
reasons why you loved him.
“Did you give him another one?” Caspar sighed,
trying his hardest to suppress a smile. Caspar obviously wasn’t actually angry
at you, though he did find it annoying when he had to baby sit Joe sometimes,
but Joe also did it when Caspar was drunk so that makes things even between
“No, she didn’t!” Joe shouted in protest, lying
down on the sofa and resting his head in your lap. “Don’t shout at
Caspar chuckled to himself and shook his head. “I am
not shouting Joe, you are actually.”
You looked down at Joe who was staring back up at you, his
eyes sparkling in the dim lights of the club.
“Hey.” He chuckled, his eyes fixed on yours.
“Hey.” You grinned, gently running your fingers
through his hair. Sometimes it was hard to believe that you and Joe were just
friends, you acted like you were in a relationship, flirting all of the time
and laughing together, cuddling and watching movies.
It was amazing having a friend that you could do all of that
with and not have anything that was overly complicated.
“You look really pretty.” Joe slurred, letting out
a little hiccup.
“How much have you had to drink exactly?” you
chuckled, shaking your head as you continued to play with his hair.
Since your eyes were fixed on Joe, and his on you, neither
of you noticed Caspar and Conor staring at you, both with smiles on their
“He’s always happy when Y/N is here.” Caspar told
Conor, speaking loud enough that Conor could hear him over the music, but not
so loud that you or Joe could hear. Not that you would, you were both too
involved in your own conversation to notice that Caspar and Conor were talking
about you both, and still staring.
“I know, he’s like a little puppy.” Conor
chuckled, sipping the drink from his glass.
“Hopefully Y/N can look after him tonight instead of
him bugging me. Joe just sits there laughing and cuddling anyone that sits near
him. I’m praying it’s Y/N instead of me tonight.” Caspar told Conor,
chuckling as he looked over at you and Joe again.
“Can you help me get him home?” You asked, looking
as Caspar desperately as Joe was trying his hardest to climb into your lap.
“Carry me home!” Joe begged, giggling to himself.
“Come on mate.” Caspar chuckled, placing his glass
on the table and saying goodbye to Conor, strolling over to you and picked Joe
up off your lap with minimal effort.
You quickly hugged Conor and followed Caspar outside, who
had now placed Joe firmly on the floor but he had pulled Joe’s arm around his
The cold air of the night hit your face instantly and this
actually helped the effects of the alcohol. For some strange reason, it made
you sober up a little bit.
However, it didn’t have that same effect on Joe.
There were people outside, just as drunk as Joe as they were
stumbling around laughing. The girls were struggling to stand upright in their
heels and the guys were singing drunkenly to a song that sounded as if it was
made up on the spot.
“I’m too short for this, you’re too tall!” Joe
whined, trying his hardest to pull away from Caspar. “It’s hurting my arm
to reach up this high.”
“Put his arm around me then, but stand on his other
side.” You chuckled, trading places with Caspar as Joe wrapped his arm
around your neck and Caspar took Joe’s arm in his hand just incase he decided
to throw himself on the floor.
“I’m not even drunk, why are you carrying me?” Joe
whined, his speech getting even more slurred.
“If you’re not drunk, stand up. On your own, and don’t fall
over.” You chuckled, shaking your head at his denial.
“Fine!” Joe shouted, pulling his arm free from
your neck and he tried to take a step forward but fell forward. He would have
fallen on the floor if Caspar had let go of his arm.
“Come on.” You chuckled to yourself, trying helping
Joe into a taxi. With great difficulty, Caspar was the one that actually got
Joe into the taxi.
“How you feeling?” you asked Joe, resting your
hand on his knee as his head was currently nuzzled into the crook of your neck.
“Fine, I’m not drunk. I promise.” He chuckled,
looking up at you.
Even though it was cold outside as it was the middle of
November, his face was still red from the alcohol and you felt the warmth of
his skin against your neck. The heat of his skin caused goose bumps to travel
down your arms and it sent shivers down your spine.
You had been this close to Joe before, obviously. You spent
most nights cuddling him on the sofa when you visited London,
but this felt different.
“You are drunk, don’t try denying it.” You chuckled,
keeping your eyes on him. You didn’t know why your eyes were stuck to him, but
you couldn’t tare your eyes away.
Caspar took note of this as well, as he had slid his phone
out of his jacket pocket and had taken a snapchat of you both sitting extremely
“I’m not drunk!” Joe argued in protest, sitting up
right. Joe’s raised voice caused some strange looks from the driver. Joe’s head
was now resting on top of yours instead of on your shoulder, so now your face
was nuzzled against his neck. Not that you could help it, but you inhaled
deeply and the shivers down your spine returned as you smelt Joe’s aftershave.
You hardly noticed that you had actually pulled up outside
of the boys flat until Caspar had pointed it out.
You quickly paid the driver before Caspar helped Joe into
their flat after you’d opened the door and flicked the light switch on. Caspar
sat Joe on the sofa, and handed him a bottle of water.
“Thanks Caspar.” You smiled at him, feeling more
sober since you’d left the club.
“I’m gonna head to sleep, give me a shout if you need
anything.” Caspar smiled, giving you a quick hug before heading to his
You sat next to Joe on the sofa and kicked off your heels as
Joe held the bottle of water against his knee.
“Come on, you need to keep drinking.” You told
him, moving his hand with the water bottle in back up to his lips.
“I’m not thirsty though.” Joe complained, leaning
against your shoulder again.
“Well, drink that anyway and then we can put you in bed
can’t we?” you chuckled brushing his hair out of his eyes.
“Fine.” Joe mumbled, drinking the rest of water
while spilling some of it down his chin.
“Come here. You’re like a bloody child.” You
chuckled, gently wiping his chin.
Joe eyes sparkled in the light as his eyes fixated on you.
“I’m so happy you’re here, Y/N. You honestly have no
idea how much I’ve missed you.” Joe let out a deep sigh as he threw the
plastic water bottle on the floor.
“I’ve missed you too.” You smiled slightly, lying
on his chest as Joe wrapped his arm around your shoulders. Joe started to play
with your fingers, humming to himself as he concentrated on your hand as you
tangled your fingers with his. Just by touching his hand, it was as if electricity
was flowing through you both.
You looked up at Joe, half expecting him to be staring into
space, but no, he was staring right at you.
“What?” You asked, letting out a slightly nervous
giggle. The way he was looking at you was causing butterflies to flutter around
“Nothing.” Joe mumbled, the drunken smile suddenly
fading from his face.
“Joe? What’s wrong?” You asked, shifting slightly
on the sofa so were sat cross legged on the sofa.
“Just shut up for a second.” Joe muttered, sitting
up straight and moving his hand to your waist before leaning in.
Leaning your forehead against his, you copied his actions
and leant forward until finally your lips met. You shifted forward slightly
until your legs were pressed against Joe’s. This was as close as you could get
to him without actually being sat on him.
After a minute or so, you both pulled away and your face
flushed as red as Joe’s did earlier, but your blushing was for a different
reason other than the fact you had been drinking alcohol.
“Erm, so.” Joe chuckled, rubbing the back of his
neck as he looked at you shyly.
“What was that for?” you asked, biting down on
your bottom lip.
“I don’t know. I just-” Joe started before you
leant forward and crashed your lips against his again.
“Ouch, for fuck sake Y/N.” Joe laughed as he
pulled away, his bottom lip now having a small cut on the left side. “You
practically head butted me.”
“Shit, sorry.” You chuckled. “I was going for
such a romantic moment then.”
You stood up and went over to the sink, grabbing a cloth and
holding it under the cold tap for a few seconds before sitting next to Joe
again and holding the cloth against his lip.
“I didn’t mean to do that.” You told him, feeling
“I didn’t think you’d draw blood for our second kiss.”
Joe chuckled, wiping the side of his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Maybe our third.”
You rolled your eyes and chuckled to yourself.
“Third? There’s going to be another one?” You
teased, nudging his arm with your elbow.
Joe chuckled and looked at you, his hand moving to your
“Definitely.” He mumbled, leaning forward and
pressing his lips against yours again as your hands moved to his chest.
“Drunken kisses are my favourite.” Joe giggled as
you pulled away from him and rested your head on his shoulder.
“Why’s that?” You asked.
“Because I know I’m still gonna remember this in the
morning but I’m still gonna have that little buzz from being drunk. Best
feeling.” Joe chuckled, shrugging his shoulders.
You chuckled quietly as you both lead down on the sofa,
Joe’s arms still around you.
“I can’t be bothered with moving to bed, stay here and
cuddle me.” Joe begged, his voice now sounding more tired than slurred.
Chuckling quietly, you both fell asleep tiredly in each
others arms, the thought of those drunken kisses flowing through your mind.
“Love you ready to travel down to meet my family?” Joe says trapping me in his arms, kissing the side of my head softly.
“I’m never going to be ready,” I mumble, attempting to break away from his grasp, but Joe being Joe, he doesn’t let me instead squeezing me into his chest tighter.
“It’s all going to be perfect,” He whispers kissing my cheek, letting me go and walking to his room grabbing our bags and taking them down to his car. Joe was going to drive us down to Brighton so that I could meet his sister, Zoe and her boyfriend, Alfie We were going to be staying with Zoë for a few days. I had been so nervous to meet his family, fear of rejection plaguing my thoughts.
“I’m leaving with or without you so I suggest you get you cute little ass down here and come meet my family with me,” Joe yells into his apartment, I chuckle softly putting my phone into my pocket making my way out of his apartment locking the door. I follow Joe, he opens the car door for me. I grin up at him and stand on my tiptoes and kiss him softly. I step into the car and sit down. Joe makes his way into the car and we begin our journey to the Zalfie household.
“Are you stressed about today?” Joe asks I jump slightly, we had been sitting in a comfortable silence for a few minutes.
I nod my head slowly, “Yeah, a little, but its normal, I think,” I trail off giggling softly, Joe brings a joined hands up to his face. He presses his lips to the back of my hand softly. I feel the butterflies in my stomach whenever he’s around, goes insane. A wave of emotion hits me like a truck.
“Hey Joe,” I say softly after a few more minutes of quiet driving, He hums in response, “I love you.” We hadn’t said that we loved each other yet, we just knew.
I watch him as he concentrates on the road in front of him before he realizes what I’ve said. He looks over at me grinning widely, a blush spreading over his cheeks. He continues to smile and lean towards the steering wheel a shy smile gracing his features. He looks back to me, “I love you too,” is all he says, we go back to sitting in silence, my hand still held tightly in his.
A few hours later we arrive at the Zalfie household the nerves build back up, but I bury them when I see the excitement evident on my gorgeous boyfriend’s face. I watch as he eagerly makes his way around to me taking my face into his hands kissing me softly, I grin into our kiss knowing what it meant.
“Are you guys just going to make out in my front yard or are you going to come inside and say hello?” I jump away from Joe, blushing when I realize that it was Zoe.
“Wow Zo, Killing my game much,” Joe chuckles making his way over to his sister embracing her. I slowly make my way over to where the two are stood, I wrap my arms around my waist not knowing what to do with myself. Joe pulls away from Zoe, and takes a step towards me taking my hand in his, he always seems to know what to do when I need him to something.
“Hello Y/N, it’s nice to finally get to meet you, I’m sure you’re aware that I’ve heard of you,” She giggles softly, “Please come inside make yourself right at home.” she says opening the door for me to step through, I look back at Joe watching as he nods “I’ll be in soon love, just need to get our bags,” I look back to Zoe smiling and following her inside, once we’re inside her living room, she takes me into her arms making me laugh slightly, “Thank you,” she whispers into my ear.
“For what?” I finally use my voice.
“You make my brother so happy, I’m so glad that you both found each other,” She lets go of me tears gathered in her eyes.
“Please don’t cry,” I say panic evident on my face, she laughs softly.
“You’re as bad with emotions as Joe is,” She smiles over at me.
“You’d be surprised on how romantic your brother is, well normally, I was the first to say I loved him, which was in the car on the way here,” I nervously babble out.
“Wait you guys said that you loved each other for the first time today?” She asks staring at me with her mouth open.
“Uh,” I trail off, “Yeah?”
She bursts out laughing. “You guys are so cute, Hey Alf come here!” She calls out to Alfie.
I see a tall man make his way into the room that Zoe had led me into. “Hello, I’m Alfie, it’s nice to finally meet you Y/N,” Alfie says hugging me.
“It’s nice to meet you guys,” I say stepping back from the couple, Joe make is way into the room, and wraps his arms around my waist and rests his head on my shoulder.
“I love you,” He whispers kissing my cheek, making my blush a deep red.
“So Y/N I feel like as your future sister in law I’m legally obligated to tell you embarrassing stories about Joe,” Zoe says laughing when Joe groans burying his face in my neck. I laugh and nod my head, “Please do, Then I can tell you stories of our relationship,” I wink at her.
“Oh my God, Yes!” She takes my hand in hers and drags me away from the boys, “Come with me,”
I giggle following her into her second living room, we sit on the floor and that’s where we sit swapping stories for hours, eventually, our girl talk being crashed by our respective boyfriends.
“So do the fans know yet?” Alfie asks. Joe nods his head, “She basically lives at my housemate, if they didn’t know I wouldn’t be able to vlog,” He chuckles kissing the side of my head quickly.
“We’ve known about you for ages Y/N/N, Joseph hasn’t been hiding you from us, Alfie is just trying to figure out the rules for videos,” Zoe says laughing.
“Yeah this kid doesn’t shut up about you, like ever,” Alfie laughs at Joe’s obvious embarrassment. I spin my head to the man that’s sitting next to me, I raise an eyebrow, he looks down to his jeans, “Like what?” I direct the question to Alfie seeing how red I can get my boyfriend’s cheeks. I watch as his eyes snap up to Alfie and widen, the red on his cheeks becomes more apparent. Alfie, Zoe and I all burst out laughing.
“Don’t tell her mate,” Joe warns, challenging Alfie with his eyes.
“Why not buddy? I’m sure Zoe and Y/N would love to hear that story,” Alfie laughs. I turn my gaze away from my Boyfriend and place my eyes on Alfie.
“Okay, now you actually have to tell me,” I say concern flashing over my face, Zoe’s face is locked on Joe’s, “What happened?” I glance over each face.
“Mate, I’m going to have to tell her,” Alfie says, worry clear in his eyes.
“I’m right here, I can hear you,” I feel anxiety bubble in my chest.
“Fine, but if she breaks up with me I’m going to beat your ass,” Joe mumbles laying his body down. Joe wraps his arms around my waist, calming me down. He loves me.
“Okay so before you guys got together Joe, Marcus and myself went away, and during them few days, he wouldn’t shut up about this girl that he had met, Y/N, but the thing is is that he thought that you were into Caspar,” Alfie says, I laugh softly.
“That’s really all that you didn’t want me to know?” I look down at my boyfriend who shakes his head ‘no’, I bite my lip.
“I didn’t want him to tell you, how he helped me plan our first date, but since we’re on the topic of things I didn’t want you to know, I didn’t say 'i love you’ first because I still think you’re joking about being into me,” He says standing up and walking out of the room. My mouth falls open, tears prick my eyes.
“Uh, I’ll go talk to him,” I mumble following him up to the guest bedroom.
“Joe? What was that?” I ask, wrapping my arms around his waist. His arms are bracing him against the wall.
“Please just pretend you don’t know how insecure I am,” He mutters spinning around to face me.
“I love you, insecurities and all,” I say standing on my tip toes to kiss him, “Now please have a good time, and relax a little, I like knowing all the little things about you,” I wink.
Instead of saying anything he presses his lips to mine, the kiss is sweet and innocent. We are hopelessly in love. I pull away from him and hold his face in mine, “By the way you’re way hotter than Caspar,” I wink making my way down the stairs back to where Zoe and Alfie are sat. I smile at them subtly letting them know that he was alright, “He’s okay,”
I watch as the two look to each other and back up to me, “What?”
“He loves you a lot, but I’ve never seen him be so un-Joe-like before, He’s a completely different person,” Zoe says, a small frown gracing her features. I feel the anxiety bubble in my chest again, “Is that a bad thing?”
Her eyes speak the words she’s too afraid to say, “Oh,” is all I say, picking up my phone from her coffee table, “I’ll be back soon, I’m just going for a walk,” I exit the house before she or Alfie can stop me.
I turn my phone off when I can no longer see the house, tears well up in my eyes. I let my feet take me in any direction they choose and before I know it I’m at the sea, I take a deep breath. The smell and sound of the ocean are so calming to me. I take a step onto the beach and sit on the stones. I feel the tears begin to fall, I lay my back down on the stones and think about Zoë, is she right? had I changed Joe? I’m a bad person, I don’t deserve him. I lay there for a while longer with my eyes closed. I open them after I had finished crying and sit up when I notice that it’s dark out.
“Well fuck,” I mumble under my breath. I turn my phone back on and notice that I have fifteen missed calls from Joe. I hear the sound of steps on the stones.
“I wish you hadn’t of left you know?” I here Zoe’s voice say, “You sent my brother into quite the anxiety attack.” I glance up at her and back to the sea in front of me.
“I-i,” I attempt to talk but Zoe cuts me off.
“I really like you, I love you and Joe, But it’s weird seeing him so in love,” She says sitting down next to me, “I told him that you’d be here, I can tell that it’s your safe place as well as mine, but that boy was far too upset to listen to me.”
“I’m sorry,” Is all I say.
“He loves you so much. I’m sorry if I said something that offended you, but all I meant by it was that you are both acting ways too grown up for your age, Hell you’re what? 22? Joes 25. You guys are both already better adults than I am,” She laughs making me laugh, “But please just try and have fun, I’ve never seen him like this with anyone,” I nod my head.
“He’s my other person,” I say shrugging, “Have you met your brother? I don’t think that he’s mature at all,” I chuckle.
“You ready to come home now?” Zoe asks standing up, holding her hand out for me to take, “I drove so we won’t freeze getting home.”
I smile and take her hand standing up. I hug her, “Thank you Zo,” We make our way to her car and back to her house.
Joe is stood out the front, worry evident on his face. I step out of the car and make my way over to Joe, "Why did you leave?“ He asks pulling me into his chest.
"I just wanted to go for a walk,” is all I say, not wanting him to feel like I don’t like Zoe. I lean up to kiss him softly, “I’m okay,”
“You turned your phone off,” He pouts, I look around and notice that Zoe has gone inside to Alfie.
“I’m okay, you’re okay, let’s go inside and do something with your sister that doesn’t involve either of us walking off,” I chuckle taking his hand, pulling him inside after me.