Our bard, Jobi, manages to teleport us from the alchemists lair, to a mountain top and then to a forest in an attempt to get us back to Newport. Unfortunately, it is nighttime, and Jobi is afraid of the dark.

Jobi: Wait, it’s nighttime?
DM: Yep.
Jobi: Oh no, I can’t be here. I try to make it daytime.
DM: You… you try… to make it… daytime?
Jobi: Yes. *rolls a nat 20*
DM: *rolls behind the screen*
DM: It’s now bright and sunny, but your friends are all gone. You guys (the rogue, cleric and the people we saved) see Jobi vanish.
Jobi: It’s daytime? Great. I take a nap.
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Today Is Dying

For the prompt: okay but what i need now is a fic where bellamy finds out what clarke did. lol
Like… imagine that abby didn’t destroy the radiation chamber and clarke actually goes in. imagine bellamy hooks up with that girl and someone barges into his room to tell him what happened back at the lab and yeah. 

Title inspired by Softness, no. 8 by Albert Alexander Bukoski

Huge thank you to @bellamylovedlincoln for beta’ing. You’re the best!


Bellamy had never been shy about his sexual exploits, per se. Though he hated to admit it, there were many days that his lunch breaks on the Ark were spent boasting about his most recent conquest to his buddies on the guard, back when he was young and stupid and just wanted a few minutes to be a jackass teenager. And even when they’d first landed on the ground, he knew that more than one of the rumors that had circulated around the camp had centered around his ability to handle more than one woman at a time. No matter how much this world had aged him, at the end of the day, he was still just a 23-year-old guy who, like most of them, really fucking loved sex. Sue him.

But that didn’t mean he was particularly thrilled by Harper barging in on him naked and high and pressed up against some girl he barely knew.

“Bellam—oh, god, sorry,” she sputtered, her arm darting up to block the view of the bed. He grappled for the sheets, pulling them over Bree and himself. When he saw that her head had turned, he reached for the boxers that lay crumpled on the floor next to the bed.

“What the fuck, Harper?”

“Look, sorry, but it’s an emergency,” she said, eyes firmly fixed on the wall ahead of her.

The tea he’d downed at the bar was still in his system, as evidenced by the way the room spun when he reached for his shirt a few feet away and struggled to pull it over his head.

“So much of an emergency that you couldn’t knock?”

“It’s Clarke.”

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@holtzbert-week​ day #2 | neurodiversity

okay I was a little nervous about this one, as someone who doesn’t experience / know much about types of neurodiversity, so I’ve been researching the heck out of it and looking at headcanons (thank you to those people btw) and I hope I did an alright job

I hc Holtz as having both adhd and hyposensitive spd. she likes to keep her hands busy, always tinkering with things she’s made, or pulling gadgets apart and putting them back together; but once she’s focused on a project its easy to neglect her own needs without the girls’ reminders. Holtz is also notoriously clumsy which, whenever around the equipment, has scared the crap out of the team more than once. she tends to rush into danger a little recklessly on missions too, earning the same reactions. while she’s working she has a habit of touching Erin any way she can, ranging from light brushes to full on lounging across her lap, and feels more at ease whenever she’s within arms reach

Jillian Holtzmann, Erin Gilbert © Sony, Paul Feig
Art © Aiyana-Kopa

im so frustrated we need formula for the baby and toilet paper and gas and my bf lost his job

I hate doing this but I owe commissions and can’t take anymore until they’re done so if you have a buck or two to spare it would help my family get by until we can get another job sorted!! I’m so sorry.

anonymous asked:

Hi, I was wondering if you know the name of this fan-fiction I was trying to find. It's a modern soulmate au where whatever you draw on your skin shows up on you're soulmates skin . It starts off with either Clarke or Bellamy waking up ( pretty sure it's Clarke) and has a dick drawn on her forehead. They start to talk to each other by writing on each other's skin without ever meeting but It ends with Clarke and Bellamy meeting weeks later at a party and they kiss

We found this one: i don’t even know if you exist and yet i crave you.

mariiiesimonsen said: ‘Hi, I’m looking for two fics; The first one is about Clarke being sick and she ends up dying. I’m pretty sure it’s in verse and the first line goes something like this: Clarke Griffin dies on a wednesday. The day wasn’t significant but the woman was. The other one is definitely in verse. I’m pretty sure it’s 2 chapters. Bellamy’s just gotten out of Mount Weather and he’s injured or sick or something like that. Clarke goes on a mission without telling him and he gets really upset. Thank you!’

The first fic is To The Stars, but we can’t seem to find the second fic - sound familiar to any of our followers?

ebbnfloww said: ‘are there any fics where Kane confronts Bellamy about his feelings for Clarke? / in light of all the recent scenes of Kane noticing Bellamy being connected to Clarke a prompt for Kane confronting Bellamy about his feelings for Clarke :)’

These fics may be what you’re looking for! 

Anonymous said: ‘Hi! I’m looking for this slow burn, future fic, where Clarke is in a coma towards the end and they never told each other how they feel & I’m pretty sure it’s told through different points of views¿ I’ve looked in some of your tags and can’t seem to find it, I totally forget the name but I’ve reread it a couple times 😂’

We couldn’t find this one - maybe our followers have heard of it? 

Anonymous said: ‘do u have any like shakespeare au’s like Hamlet?? or maybe Romeo and Juliet ??’

No based-on AUs for Shakespeare, but we do have some fics that are inspired by/center around Shakespeare-related things:

Anonymous said: ‘Hoping you magical amazing bellarke wizards can help me find this fic. It was a long one shot where either the jobi nuts or mushrooms (can’t remember which) get eaten by Clarke during 1x08 and Bellamy doesn’t eat them…but instead of making them hallucinate it makes Clarke incredibly aroused but at first she just thinks she has a fever or something and Bellamy has to make her feel better and they realize skin-to-skin helps. TY ILY xoxoxo’

We believe that fic is I just don’t know what to do with myself.

Anonymous said: ‘Any fics where the delinquents are beating on when clarke and bellamy will get together ?? thank you !’

We found this one in our archives, and take a look through our bets tag and games tag to possibly find some more! 

Anonymous said: ‘Hey, know of any good orchestra AUs? :)’

We found these two:

Anonymous said: ‘Are there any Bellarke Twister (the movie) AUs? Thank you :)’

We couldn’t find any, sorry!

the Great Red Spot on Jupiter is just my cousin Jobi swinging a handbell at the end of a rope near the planet’s center. he’s been doing that for over 400 years.

  • Use of transphobic slurs (the t slur)
  • Kissed an underage fan without asking

She didn’t apologize and tried to defend herself by saying:

“I called her to the front, asked her if she was single, leaned down for a kiss, and she reciprocated!”

She never asked for a kiss, only asked if she was single.

Then she tweeted:

Then deleted the tweet.

  • Made fun of someone for their job
  • I don’t need to explain this one