The Science of Stage Fright

Heart racing, palms sweating, labored breathing? No, you’re not having a heart attack – it’s stage fright! If speaking in public makes you feel like you’re fighting for your life, you’re not alone. But the better you understand your body’s reaction, the more likely you are to overcome it. 

To start, understand what stage fright is. Humans, social animals that we are, are wired to worry about reputation. Public speaking can threaten it. Before a speech, you fret, “What if people think I’m awful and I’m an idiot?” That fear of being seen as an awful idiot is a threat reaction from a primitive part of your brain that’s very hard to control. It’s the fight or flight response, a self-protective process seen in a range of animals, most of which don’t give speeches. 

But we have a wise partner in the study of freaking out. Charles Darwin tested fight or flight at the London Zoo snake exhibit. He wrote in his diary, “My will and reason were powerless against the imagination of a danger which had never been experienced.” He concluded that his response was an ancient reaction unaffected by the nuances of modern civilization. So, to your conscious modern mind, it’s a speech. To the rest of your brain, built up to code with the law of the jungle, when you perceive the possible consequences of blowing a speech, it’s time to run for your life or fight to the death.

Your hypothalamus, common to all vertebrates, triggers your pituitary gland to secrete the hormone ACTH, making your adrenal gland shoot adrenaline into your blood. Your neck and back tense up, you slouch. Your legs and hands shake as your muscles prepare for attack. You sweat. Your blood pressure jumps. Your digestion shuts down to maximize the delivery of nutrients and oxygen to muscles and vital organs, so you get dry mouth, and butterflies. Your pupils dilate, so it’s hard to read anything up close, like your notes, but long range is easy. That’s how stage fright works. 

How do we fight it? First, perspective. This isn’t all in your head. It’s a natural, hormonal, full body reaction by an autonomic nervous system on autopilot. And genetics play a huge role in social anxiety. John Lennon played live thousands of times. Each time he vomited beforehand. Some people are just wired to feel more scared performing in public. 

Since stage fright is natural and inevitable, focus on what you can control. Practice a lot, starting long before in an environment similar to the real performance. Practicing any task increases your familiarity and reduces anxiety, so when it’s time to speak in public, you’re confident in yourself and the task at hand. Steve Jobs rehearsed his epic speeches for hundreds of hours, starting weeks in advance. If you know what you’re saying, you’ll feed off the crowd’s energy instead of letting your hypothalamus convince your body it’s about to be lunch for a pack of predators. 

But hey, the vertebrate hypothalamus has had millions of years more practice than you. Just before you go on stage, it’s time to fight dirty and trick your brain. Stretch your arms up and breath deeply. This makes your hypothalamus trigger a relaxation response. Stage fright usually hits hardest right before a presentation, so take that last minute to stretch and breathe. You approach the mic, voice clear, body relaxed. Your well-prepared speech convinces the wild crowd you’re a charismatic genius. How? You didn’t overcome stage fright, you adapted to it. And to the fact that no matter how civilized you may seem, in part of your brain, you’re still a wild animal. 

A profound, well-spoken wild animal.

From the TED-Ed Lesson The science of stage fright (and how to overcome it) - Mikael Cho

Animation by KAPWA Studioworks

All In

Requested by @andreuskystuffCould you do an angsty Peter Parker imagine where the reader has social anxiety and low self esteem? I leave the plot to you.

Synopsis: The reader has social anxiety and low self esteem and is nervous about giving a speech at school. Later, Peter Parker drags the reader to a party.

Word Count: 5,405

Warnings: Mega angst, as requested. (Also, underaged drinking 😱)

Tags: @thisisthelilith @avengers-earths-mightiest-heroes @idroppedthefries

A/N: I’m so sorry this literally took me over half a year to write! Hopefully the length makes up for how much time I took to write it, haha. Social anxiety and low self esteem are both topics that hit pretty close to home, so I was really grateful for the opportunity to write this. This was also my first ever request, so I’m very excited about it! Thank you so much for your patience! I hope this is what you had in mind :) 

Beep! Beep! Beep!

You awoke immediately from your deep sleep and rolled over on your side. It was 6:00 on another school morning, and you were definitely not ready to peel yourself away from your bed. You stared menacingly at the alarm clock, hoping you could scare it into silence. When it persisted, you rolled your eyes and slammed the snooze button down, then threw your sheets off. It was time once again to start another crappy school day.

You stretched your arms out and let out a huge yawn, then suddenly remembered that you were in the middle of a pleasant dream before your alarm rudely interrupted. You couldn’t quite put your finger on what the dream was about, but you knew it was a good one, and you were mad that it had to end. You started the painful walk to your bathroom and flinched when you switched on the unforgiving florescent lights. Waking up was the worst. But hey, at least it was Friday.

You opened your medicine cabinet to retrieve your toothpaste. When you shut it and saw your reflection, you froze. You studied every bump and red spot on your face, wishing that you could just peel it away. You looked away from the mirror in disgust and went back to brushing your teeth. You had only been awake for five minutes and you were already dreading having to show your face today.

When you finished in the bathroom, you went back to your bedroom and checked your phone. You saw a message from Peter and couldn’t help allowing a tiny smile to make a brief appearance on your face.

Good morning! Get ready to crush that speech today. Meet at your building at 7? Love you!”

The smile disappeared and you felt your stomach flip. Somehow, you had forgotten that today was the day you had to give your twenty-minute speech on literary devices in Lord of the Flies. You had spent weeks dreading it, and now it was here. You felt sick.

Peter knew that you were nervous, but he didn’t really understand. You didn’t want to explain to him in painful detail how bad your social anxiety really was. He had enough to worry about as it was. You didn’t want to be another bullet point on his long list of responsibilities. Besides, how could you compete with the entire city of New York that constantly needed saving?

Thanks, Pete. 7 is good. Love you right back,” You typed with shaky fingers.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, remembering tips your therapist gave you to help calm yourself down. This was starting to work, but then your mind started to wander and you saw the faces of your classmates staring back at you, judging you. You opened your eyes quickly and began busying yourself, trying to focus on getting ready for your day instead of dreading your speech.

You were packing your backpack in your kitchen when you heard a buzz. Thank god. Peter was finally there. You took another deep breath and pushed the button to let him up. You stared at the door until you heard a knock, then opened it way too quickly. Peter was surprised by how fast the door swung open, but he still beamed down at you. He had a box in his hands and held it out to you.

“Good morning! I brought donuts. Thought it might cheer you up,” He said, smiling shyly. You loved his shy smile. “You look great.”

You were so grateful that he woke up early just to buy donuts in the hopes that they would cheer you up, but you knew you were too nervous to eat them. You took the box from him anyways and wrapped your arms around him.

“Thank you, Peter,” You whispered.

“It’s no big deal. And if you’re not feeling up to eating right now, it’s ok. We can save them for lunch.”

“Thank god,” You said, exhaling loudly. “There’s no way I could eat without gagging right now.”

Peter flashed a sympathetic smile and grabbed your hand.

“You’re going to be great, Y/N. I know it. Come on, let’s get out of here so you can get this stupid speech over with.”

Although your hand was sweating profusely, he held it the entire way to school without letting go once.

When you walked through the doors of your high school, your chest tightened up immediately. You were still holding on to Peter when you made it to your locker to grab your notecards and put away the donuts, and you still managed to hold on as you sat down in your first class, ready to give your speech. You felt like if you let go of him, you might fall apart completely.

All your life you had gone through severe panic attacks and difficult social interactions alone, but now you didn’t have to. Even if Peter didn’t know about how hard you had it sometimes, he helped you through it all just by holding your hand. Maybe it was better he didn’t know, anyways. Sometimes people treated you differently when they found out. Your own father used to yell at you when you had panic attacks in public. You had gotten so used to hiding your anxiety that it was second nature to you. You could easily write it off as awkwardness or shyness every time. Besides, the fact that you had to keep it from him all the time gave you more motivation to try to keep your shit together. This was probably the only reason you were able to stand up and give your speech without any more drama than shaky hands and short breaths. When you sat down, you were dizzy and sweaty. But it was over.

“See, I told you you could do it,” Peter whispered. “You did great! And doesn’t it feel good to have it done?”

You nodded, but you didn’t believe your own lie. Sure, it was done. But there would always be more speeches, or job interviews, or even more pressure. There was always another obstacle you had to overcome. They never seemed to end, and they certainly never seemed to get any easier. You knew this was untrue. Ten years ago when the panic attacks started, you couldn’t even show up to class, let alone talk in front of a group of people for twenty minutes. But everything was still so damn hard. Sometimes even breathing was hard.

When the bell rang after third period for lunch, you stalled packing up your stuff so Peter would make it to your classroom before you had to walk through the halls. It always helped having somebody to walk with. When you were alone, you felt everyone’s judgment and stares drilling holes in your back. You could feel your muscles tighten up and your brain starting to overthink every tiny step so you wouldn’t trip and embarrass yourself. Usually this overthinking caused you trip anyways. It was all so ridiculous. You knew no one actually cared, but you just couldn’t help it.

You just finished zipping your backpack when you saw Peter’s head peeking through the doorway. When he saw you, he grinned and waved goofily. Seeing his face gave you a bolt of energy. It was like you had been sleepwalking the whole day and he had just woken you up with one little smile.

You walked over to him and grabbed his hand without even thinking.

“How was class? Learn anything valuable today?” He asked.

“Well, I learned that I should probably get more sleep. I fell asleep again.”

“You do look pretty tired,” Peter said with a tone of concern in his voice. “Are you feeling okay?”

Panic attacks always made you tired. Even feeling one pang of anxiety drained you completely. So naturally, you were almost always exhausted. But you didn’t want to explain this to him.

“Yeah, I just stayed up late last night working on my speech. I’ll be fine.”

This was enough to drain the look of worry from Peter’s face, and you were relieved. The last thing you wanted was for him to worry about you.

“Do you feel well enough to eat some donuts now? Because I’m starving.”

You were always anxious at school, but at least now that your speech was over, you were at a comfortable enough anxiety level that you could eat without gagging. And now that you thought about it, you were pretty hungry. You hadn’t eaten all day.

“That sounds heavenly. I’ll go grab them.”

After you both retrieved the donuts and started to make your way for the cafeteria, you tried to scarf yours down before you had to sit down at your usual table in the corner. Eating in a huge room in front of a bunch of strangers was always a challenge. You looked over at Peter, who didn’t seem to care what anybody thought at all. He had powdered sugar all over his mouth and nose and jelly on his chin. You laughed and grabbed a napkin from the table as you sat down.

“You might want this.”

Peter blushed a little and took it.

“For the record, I knew I had food on my face. I was just saving it for later.”

“Sure,” You scoffed.

“Well, hey, at least I didn’t scarf mine down in thirty seconds. I’m a food connoisseur. I try to savor it. Now your donut is gone and I still have mine. So, ha,” He said as he took another huge bite and got more powder on his face.

“Yeah, well, I think I’ll survive. There’s like six left.”

Peter popped his last piece of donut into his mouth and pushed the box towards you.

“Speaking of which, you want another one?”

You stared longingly at the donuts for a moment. You were still hungry, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to eat anymore.

“No, I’m okay. I was so hungry that I ate my lunch last period, so I’m pretty full,” You lied. “You go ahead and keep eating.”

“Are you sure? I bought these for you. I want you to eat them.” He said tentatively.

You nodded. “Just save me a few. It’s okay.”

You watched him as he continued to eat without so much as a care. He didn’t even seem to notice that there was anyone else in the room but you. You wished you could be more like him. You didn’t want to care, but you did.

“So, hey, I have a proposition for you,” He said between bites.

“Oh? And what is that?” You asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I know that you’re tired after your speech and everything, but it’s Friday and I think we should celebrate.”

“Go on.”

“Flash is having a party tonight. And I want you to go with me.”

“Flash? Flash Thompson?”

Peter nodded and swallowed the last bite of his donut.

“Are you high? What makes you think you can show up to his house? No, better yet, where is this desire to go to his house coming from?”

“Come on. Flash knows not to mess with me anymore…”

Your mind flashed back to a few months ago when Peter accidentally used his Spidey powers to throw Flash against a wall of lockers. You raised an eyebrow skeptically. 

“It’ll be fun, Y/N, please. I’ve never been to an actual high school party before.”

You studied Peter’s face. You could tell he really wanted to go, and that he really needed you to be there with him. You sighed.

“Okay, okay. Fine. I’ll go with you. Somebody needs to make sure Flash and his friends don’t kick your ass.”

Peter grinned the widest grin you had ever seen, revealing a little bit of jelly stuck between his teeth. Who could say no to that face? Just then, Peter’s best friend Ned Leeds ran up to your table.

“Oooh, donuts!” He exclaimed and grabbed a powdered donut without asking if he could have one. He saw you raise an eyebrow at him and stopped chewing for a brief moment. You shook your head with a chuckle. 

“Why are teenage boys such animals?” You asked with a smirk. 

“What?” He asked with a full mouth, a little bit of powder escaping his lips and dusting the table. “Did I interrupt something?”

“I just asked Y/N to go to Flash’s party with me tonight.”

Ned’s eyes widened and his mouth hung open a little bit.

“Are you crazy?!”

“Ned, please, swallow before you choke,” Peter said.

Ned swallowed loudly and gestured wildly with his hands.

“I said, are you crazy?! After what happened between you two, he’s going to want to kill you if you show up at his house.”

“Thank you, Ned. My sentiments exactly,” You said.

“Well…I was going to invite you, too. But if you don’t think it’s a good idea…” Peter teased.

Ned thought about this for a moment, then shrugged.

“Well, in that case…” He trailed off, grabbing another donut from the box in the center of the table.

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms. It looked like you were going to a party, after all. 

The rest of the day, Peter was in a fantastic mood. He couldn’t contain his excitement for the party. You tried your best to feign excitement, but inside you were cringing. You had never been to a party, but you knew it probably wouldn’t be very enjoyable for you. If you couldn’t even sit quietly in a room full of people, then how could you socialize with a room full of people?

After he walked you home, Peter told you he would pick you up at eight, kissed you on the cheek, then went on his merry way. You watched him walk away with a look of fear you had been hiding ever since you agreed to go. Then you went inside and paced around your room for hours, overthinking everything that might happen. What if he left you alone? What if somehow everyone found out that Peter was Spider-Man? What if the world suddenly ended while you were at the last place on earth that you wanted to be? You closed your eyes and took a deep breath.

You were doing this for Peter. He wanted you there with him. A year ago, you never would have thought someone would want you the way Peter did. In fact, you were pretty sure you would never love anyone that way, either. But you and Peter were the real deal, and you wanted to show him how much you really cared about him. He always did so much for you, so you could do this one thing for him, right? You realized that you might not survive the night, but you had to at least try. Besides, how many bad things could happen in one night? You were still unconvinced, but you went to your closet and started to rifle through it for a decent outfit anyways. If you had to go to this thing, you wanted to at least look your best.

You put on your favorite sweater and jeans. Although nothing about the outfit was too crazy, you felt uncomfortable staring at your reflection in the mirror. Was it too casual? Was the sweater ugly? You finally silenced your brain and decided that if this is what made you comfortable, it was the right choice. You smiled at yourself in the mirror, then watched it fade as you noticed all of the pockmarks on your face. Your self confidence dropped to an all-time low. You couldn’t look at yourself in the mirror any longer. You flopped face-down onto your bed, trying and failing to hold back your tears, when you heard your phone buzz. You rolled over on your back and squinted at the screen. It was Peter.

I’m on my way!” The message read.

You jumped up from your bed. Was it really eight already? You were so invested in making yourself look decent that you didn’t even realize how much time had passed. The worst part was that you didn’t really accomplish anything. You rushed forward to your mirror and messed with your hair and clothes, doing the best you could with what time you had left. Then you heard the dreaded knock on your door. It was time to go.

You walked as slowly as possible through your living room. When you reached the door, you paused with your hand on the doorknob so that you could take a much-needed deep breath. Then you threw open the door before you could lose your nerve. Peter greeted you with a huge smile, as always. You still couldn’t believe how excited he was for this dumb party.

“Wow,” he said, rushing forward to plant a kiss on your cheek. “You look great.”

You looked down and pulled at your sweater uncomfortably. You looked the same as you always did. Was he insane? You wanted to ask him, but decided it was best not to start anything. He was so excited. You didn’t want to ruin his fun.

“Thanks,” You muttered. “Ready to go?”

You tried to seem excited the whole way to Flash’s, playing the part of a normal teenager. But inside your brain was battling itself. You mostly just let Peter do the talking (which wasn’t out of the ordinary), so you hoped that he wouldn’t notice you were feeling anxious. The journey to the party was a complete blur. You were too trapped inside of your head to interpret anything going on in your surroundings. You snapped back to reality when you were in Flash’s doorway. You were fighting the urge to run when you felt Peter’s hand on your back. You looked up at him and he smiled down at you nervously. You hadn’t even considered that Peter was probably a nervous wreck, too. He always had trouble socializing at school, and you knew how much he wished Flash and his friends would like him. You smiled back at him for the first time that night, and you could feel him loosen up immediately. Sometimes you felt so isolated in your anxiety that you often forgot you weren’t the only person on the planet with problems. You felt so selfish. Peter needed you. You couldn’t fail him now.

“Don’t worry, this will be fun,” You whispered in his ear, and gave his arm a little squeeze.

He nodded and kissed you on the forehead.

“So… How does this work? Do we knock or just go inside?”

“My only knowledge about house parties is from 80s movies, so you’re definitely asking the wrong person,” You giggled nervously.

“I say… We knock?” Peter said unconvincingly. You both shrugged at each other and he reached out to pound his fist against the door.

“Door’s open!” You heard from the inside of the house.

Peter walked in first. You immediately noticed the immense number of your classmates inside, huddled in various groups, holding drinks and trying to talk over the loud music. You grabbed Peter’s hand quickly. Then you heard a voice calling to the both of you.

“Peter! Y/N! You guys finally made it.”

It was Ned. Peter loosened his grip on your hand, relaxing further after seeing another familiar face.

“Ned, thank god,” You said and wrapped your arms around him without thinking.

“Oh, good to see you, too, Y/N,” He said and patted your back awkwardly. “Are you okay?”

You peeled yourself off of him quickly and cleared your throat.

“Yeah, sorry… Just good to see a familiar face. That’s all.”

You looked up at Peter and smiled, trying to convince him that you were fine. But he could tell something was wrong.

“Yeah, Ned. It’s good to see you here,” He said and embraced Ned tightly, just as you had. He was clearly just trying to make you feel better.

“Okay,” Ned said as Peter pulled away from him and patted him on the shoulder. “You guys are being weird. If I pretend I don’t know you tonight, please don’t get offended,” He joked. You and Peter laughed and he wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer to him. Being this close to him always made you feel safe.

Ned rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, obviously annoyed by your PDA.

“Okay, okay. We get it, you guys are in love. Gross.”

“Oh, come on, Ned. Haven’t you met any potential significant others here yet?” Peter teased.

“I’ve been here for five minutes. Considering the way things have been going, I think it will take a little bit longer than that to find the love of my life. Besides, you’re my wingman. I can’t talk to anybody without you.”

“Oh, please,” you rolled your eyes jokingly. “You have way more game than Peter.”

Peter pulled away from you and covered his heart like you had just shot a bullet through it. His mouth was agape in feigned shock.

“Y/N, I’m hurt. I can’t believe you don’t think I have any game.”

“I hate to play this card again, but can I please just be the one to point out that you both have each other while I am the most single person at Midtown? I’m pretty sure Peter has more game than me,” Ned said.

Peter shrugged.

“He has a point.”

“Ned,” You said, putting both of your hands on his shoulders. “You are smart as hell, you have a wicked sense of humor, and you’re adorable. You’re going to find someone in no time. You just need to put yourself out there.”

“That’s the thing…” Ned said, looking at his shoes. “I have found someone. I just don’t know what to say to her.”

You and Peter both leaned in closer.

“Who?” You both said at the same time, a little too excitedly.

Ned didn’t say anything. He just nodded in the direction of Betty Brant, who was in the corner of the room, standing next to Liz Allan and sipping her drink.

Both you and Peter leaned back again, your mouths forming a giant ‘O’ shape.

“You should go talk to her!” You encouraged Ned, though you knew if the tables were turned you would never be able to do that. Luckily, Peter was the one who made the first move on you.

Ned just looked panicked, and shook his head furiously.

“I can’t. Not by myself. Peter, you have homeroom with her, right? Maybe you could start a conversation with her and I could jump in. Please, dude. I need you.”

Peter looked at you with a worried expression, knowing that you didn’t want him to leave you alone.

“It’s fine! You guys go. I’ll be fine.”

Peter smiled and kissed you on the cheek. Ned rolled his eyes at this, but you pretended not to notice.

“I’ll just go embarrass myself and be right back here in two minutes, tops. I promise,” Peter said earnestly. 

“Seriously, I’m fine! Go!” You said with a huge fake smile on your face, pushing the two of them towards Betty. Your face dropped as soon as their backs were turned. Over the years you had become an expert faker of emotions.

You looked at your surroundings, watching your fellow students laugh and drink and dance together. You couldn’t help feeling alienated. A long time ago you had come to the conclusion that while you loved being alone when there was no one else around, you hated being alone when you were surrounded by a sea of strangers. Sure, you had grown up with most of these people, but you had never really taken the time to get to know any of them. Your social anxiety had made sure of that. You were too busy avoiding embarrassment to care about anyone else, and it was clear to you now that no one here cared that you were there.

You walked away suddenly, just because you felt the need to move. Standing still was driving you crazy, and in your mind Peter and Ned were taking way too long. You made your way to a table covered in bottles of various types of alcohol, and picked the first one you saw. You weren’t a drinker, but at that moment you didn’t know what else to do. So you drank. And soon the bottle was empty.

You set it down and turned around to see if Peter and Ned were back, but you spun around so quickly that you knocked into someone.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry…” You began to say, but trailed off when you noticed you had bumped into Liz Allen, who was now brushing her spilled drink off of the front of her top.

“It’s ok, I was beginning to hate this shirt anyways,” Liz said with a smile, but you were so embarrassed that you didn’t even smile back. You just blushed and stared at her.

“Hey, you’re Peter’s girlfriend, right? He’s a really sweet guy. I was just talking to him, actually.”

“Yeah, did you see where he went by the way?”

“Last I saw he was talking to Flash. Seems like they’re finally starting to become friends, thank god. But I’m not sure where he went after that. Are you okay?”

You were looking behind her, trying to find his familiar face, but all you saw were strangers. You could feel your panic level beginning to rise in the pit of your stomach.

“Yeah, I’m just… I just… I’ll be back,” You stammered and walked away.

You didn’t walk too far before you got caught in a huge group of people. You turned around to see if Liz was still behind you, and you saw her whispering something to Betty. You felt a brief moment of optimism when you saw Betty, hoping that Peter and Ned would be near her, but you didn’t see them anywhere. Then you could have sworn you saw both Liz and Betty look over at you. Was Liz talking about you, making fun of how awkward you were? Liz was nice. She would never do that to you. But what if she did?

You quickly looked away and began to walk away again, the panic swirling within you even more intensely. People were dancing and laughing around you and the room began to swirl. Everyone that laughed was laughing at you. Liz’s whispers were all about you. And Peter was nowhere to be seen. You didn’t know where you were going, but you took off upstairs, searching for any place to hide. You tried various doors before you finally found an unoccupied bathroom.

You shut the door and locked it behind you, curling up on the floor. You tried to get yourself to take deep breaths, but you could feel your throat closing up and your brain was racing uncontrollably. It’s like you were thinking of everything and nothing all at once. You could see your face in the bathroom mirror that morning red and splotchy. You relived your speech this morning and every word you tripped over. You imagined everyone at the party staring at you, and Liz and Betty laughing and pointing at you. You wondered why you couldn’t be as good-looking as Liz, and worse yet, you imagined Peter choosing her and Flash and the popular crowd over you – mocking you and telling you that he never loved you.

You closed your eyes tightly to stop the tears but it was too late. Then, just as you buried your face in your crossed arms, you heard a knocking on the door.

“Y/N, are you in there? It’s Peter.”

You whipped your head up. You didn’t want Peter to see you like this, but you also didn’t want him to worry about you. You pressed your ear up against the door and spoke through it.

“Yes, Peter. I’m here. I’m okay.”

Although you couldn’t see his face, you could tell Peter wasn’t having it.

“Liz saw you run up here. She seemed really concerned. You’re not okay, are you?”

You searched your brain for the right thing to say.

“I will be,” You said so quietly it was almost a whisper. You weren’t sure if you even actually believed it.

“Y/N, just open the door, okay? I need to see you.”

You sighed heavily and reached up to unlock the door. As soon as you did, Peter was already inside the room, closing the door softly behind him and joining you on the tiled bathroom floor.

He looked at your tear-stained face for a moment, assessing how you were feeling, then wrapped his arms around you so tightly that it took your breath away.

“I’m sorry, I knew I shouldn’t have left you…” He whispered. You peeled yourself away from him and peered at him with furrowed eyebrows.

“This isn’t your fault, Peter. I shouldn’t have to have someone babysit me at a party because I can’t handle being alone. It’s not your fault that I’m so screwed up.”

“You are not screwed up, Y/N.”

“Yes, I am!” You yelled and stood up, facing away from him. “I can’t do anything by myself. I can’t go to parties, I can’t order my own food, sometimes I can’t even get myself to leave my house without having anxiety about it. And having to give that speech today made me feel like the world was ending. It’s a miracle that I was able to talk to you at all let alone feel comfortable enough around you to date you. I can’t talk to anyone or be a normal person because it just feels like everyone is judging me and my stupid face and sizing me up all the time or waiting for me to mess up. And I always mess up. I always mess everything up, Peter…”

Peter stood up and put both of his hands on your cheeks, swiping your tears away with his thumbs.

“Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that. You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re beautiful and perfect the way you are.”

“Why is everything so hard?” You sniffled.

Peter wrapped you up in another hug.

“I didn’t know you felt this way. I’m so sorry.”

“I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want to scare you away. Besides, you already carry the weight of the entire city on your shoulders. I didn’t want you to have to carry me, too.”

“I want to take care of you, Y/N. We’re supposed to take care of each other. That’s what being in a relationship is all about. I’m all in, okay? I’m never going anywhere.”

You closed your eyes as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. He sighed loudly, trying to find the right thing to say.

“Look, I don’t know if this will help, but do you remember how shy and nervous I was before I became Spider-Man?”

You nodded, and he started to pull something out of his back pocket. He unfolded it, and you immediately recognized the piece of cloth in his hand. It was his Spider-Man mask.

“After I got these powers…after I became Spider-Man, and I got to hide behind this mask, I started gaining all this confidence. I don’t know, when people can’t see who you really are, somehow it gives you more strength to be who you really are. Does that make any sense?”

You nodded again.

“Good. So anyways, maybe the next time you have to do something that scares you, just imagine you’re wearing this.”

He paused and slipped the mask over your face.

“There. Nobody can see through you when you’re wearing a mask.”

You sniffled underneath it.

“How do I look?”

Peter couldn’t hold back his grin.

“Badass. I think I might actually like it on you better.”

You took the mask off and threw your arms around Peter’s neck.

“I love you,” You whispered, and you could feel him sigh with relief.

“I love you, too.”

You pulled away, wiping your eyes and showing off your first genuine smile of the night.

“So…does Ned have a new girlfriend now or what?”

Peter laughed and shook his head.

“Uh…let’s just say we’re working on it. Come on, let’s get out of here. I’ve got a comfy couch and a kickass DVD collection with your name on it.”

Speech-Language Pathology (sorry for the novel- I'm just really passionate about linguistics and SLP)

Hey, so I’ve seen some posts about jobs/applications of linguistics on a few different linguistics blogs now. One field I think many people don’t consider is speech-language pathology. Granted, it’s an entirely different degree; however, I was fortunate enough to attend a school that allowed me to get a bachelors in both linguistics and speech-language pathology. SLP deals a lot more with treating language and speech issues, but still requires a vast background knowing about language.

In undergrad, half of my linguistics courses and SLP courses were cross-listed/the exact same class. So getting an extra bachelors took just one extra semester and was very manageable. Often what I was learning in one class was reinforced in another. If I’m being 100% honest, linguistics is my passion. I could study nothing but languages for the rest of my life and be totally happy. However, another one of my passions is being able to help people and make a difference in their lives. And that’s where SLP comes in. 

Almost everyone (that I’ve met) in the SLP field has pretty much stuck to SLP/communication sciences and disorders (aka CSD), and will know a lot about language acquisition, articulation, various disorders, etcetera. However, having a linguistics degree/background (like I do) has provided a whole different level of depth to my understanding of the SLP field. Having studied phonology, syntax, and language change in not only English (my native tongue), but in also other languages, has given me insight to working with my clients that a lot of my peers don’t have. Often, CSD focuses on the language you plan on working with (in my case, English) and doesn’t always look at language as a whole. Like, why does /t/ become a glottal stop at the end of the word? Well, when you’ve taken a semester of phonology as a linguistics major, it’s easier to see and notice subtle nuances that most individuals in the field just don’t recognize. Having a background in linguistics has been nothing but beneficial to me in this field.

Speech-language pathology is a growing field (it’s still relatively new, compared to a lot of other fields), and it offers a TON of different opportunities. As a clinician, a speech pathologist can literally work with a person from the time they’re born (literally as an infant) all the way up until a person is on their deathbed. Granted, most people pick a certain specialty to focus on (e.g., stuttering, aphasia, autism, accent reduction, etc.), there’s always the opportunity to change things up and start working with a different population- that way, you never get bored. Currently, I’m working with a 3 year old and a 47 year old. So, as you can imagine, my therapy is very different. Not only is each day a new day with that client, but one day I’m crawling on the floor laughing and singing, and the next I’m working with a gentlemen on spelling his kids’ names.

With your bachelor degree in SLP, you can work as a speech-language pathology assistant (and it pays pretty well). With your masters degree (a couple more years of schooling and passing a national certification exam) you can do anything from work in a hospital, a school, or own your own private practice. Like I said, the possibilities are limitless. 

All in all, I’ve seen such improvements in my clients. I’ve laughed with them, I’ve cried with them. I’ve had parents thank me while wiping the tears away from their eyes because their child has accomplished things they were once told they would never be able to accomplish something.

This field has been tremendously rewarding. I wake up every day looking forward to the differences I can make in another person’s life, another person’s language. As linguists, I’m sure we all recognize the vital role that language and communication plays in our day-to-day lives. As a speech pathologist, you get to help improve the quality of life for others via language and their communication. 

I would highly, highly encourage anyone looking for a job/career path that’s passionate about languages to look more into speech-language pathology. Not only does one get to apply something they’re passionate about (i.e., language), but there’s an opportunity to make a difference- even if it’s just in one person’s life. And the field is constantly growing, with tons of different opportunities out there, across the entire spectrum of a person’s lifespan. 

TL;DR- If you love linguistics and also want a nice paying job, you should really look into speech-language pathology. 

At this point in the season, they are tie-dyed with bruises.

Kent strips quickly, looking up to make sure the locker room door is closed while Moose and Philly do the post-game interview. Nobody needs to see Swoops’s dick gif-ed, making its way from Twitter to the entire Internet.

He hisses between his teeth as he pulls off his pads. There’s a new red patch at the bottom of his ribs that will be blue-purple in a few days, a yellowing stripe across his thigh. He flexes his knee, standing on one leg like a flamingo. His knee creaks.

How long, he thinks. How long? He wants it to be forever. He knows it can’t be.

He towels off his hair and dresses.

Swoops is already wearing boxers–they’re black, with red lip-prints all over them–and doing something serious with a tub of hair gel that has him biting his lip in concentration.

Kent reaches up to mess Swoops’s hair, like the asshole he is. Swoops knocks his hand away. “Naw, baby,” he says, and smirks at Kent with one side of his mouth. His hair gel smells like flowers.

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The Wedding Job

I love season one of Leverage so much because while we’re slowly building on Nate and Sophie’s backstory through bits of conversation we’re also starting out on the journey that is Parker and Hardison (and also Parker and Hardison and Eliot).

The Wedding Job (S1E07) is one of my favorite Leverage episodes is terms of Nate and Sophie because we get more than a little from Sophie in this episode in terms of how she feels and has felt about Nate for possibly ten to eight years (give or take). 

Toward the beginning of the episode is perhaps one of my favorite lines of dialogue from Leverage, when Sophie is talking about their potential client and how she’s having to wait for her husband to be freed from jail while not so subtly implying how she’s felt about having to wait in regards to the relationship she wants with Nate. You can tell her speech hits the mark by the look on his face and ends up staying with them throughout the remainder of the episode.

One of the reasons I love Nate and Sophie so much are because they aren’t a will they/won’t they couple, they’re an eventuality. You know it’s going to happen from their first scene in The Nigerian Job (S1E01). 

Nate’s speech later on in the episode when he’s playing the vicar calls back somewhat to his conversation with Sophie in The Miracle Job (S1E04) when she tells him that what happens next is up to him. 

“And some people should consider that other people, you know, they don’t, uh, maybe they need a little time, you know, before they start dating some people again and-and-and start committing and…”

We already know that Sam has been gone for a little over two years at this point in time, but what we don’t know is how long Nate and Maggie lasted afterward. We meet Nate when he’s still attempting to drown his problems instead of picking up the broken pieces, which is why I think it makes his speeches to Sophie in season one all the more special because he’s still wounded but it’s so clear that he has strong, dominating feelings for her.

And I’m 100% sure that the tears in Sophie’s eyes during his speech cement the fact that she has the same overwhelming feelings for him.

How to Handle the Inevitable College Breakdowns

College can be rough. You and all your new friends have just gone from high school, where your main responsibilities were “All this reading Mrs. Johnson assigned,” “Maybe ten hours a week at Dairy Queen,” and “How many Oreos can I fit in my mouth and not choke?” Then college hits and you have 100 pages to read, ten hours at your work-study job, a ten minute speech to write and practice, a biology lab to prepare for, and four hours of rehearsals, PLUS your normal studying and practice time, PLUS your S.O. has been distant lately and your best friend hasn’t been able to sit and listen to you vent because she’s just as busy and her “free” time doesn’t line up with yours. So you just completely break down about something that is, in retrospect, not a huge deal.

Guess what! This happens to everyone. Like, literally everyone. I’ve been present for the college-stress breakdowns of at least three friends, and have had one or two of my own. They suck like a black hole sucks in light. So don’t panic (any more than you already are), don’t quit your job, don’t drop out or change your major or break up or anything just yet. Do these things first:

  • Delete whatever messages you feel like you NEED to send RIGHT NOW. I guarantee you that you will change your mind about quitting your job or saying those words to someone tomorrow once you’ve slept. If you think even for a moment that you’re a little emotionally compromised about the situation, then whatever messages you were about to send can wait.
  • Cry it out. When it gets to the “I literally cannot handle anything going on in my life right now and this email about an assignment due date is causing me to tear up/consider moving to Alaska” stage, then you’ve officially hit Emotional Overload and it’s time to just let it out. Find a quiet spot or an understanding friend, and bawl or rant or whatever you need to do.
  • Eat something healthy but tasty. An apple, some toast and jam, a couple slices of cheese - eat something to bring your energy back up that won’t make you feel worse about yourself.
  • HYDRATE. Especially if you’re a messy crier! Go drink an entire glass of water - slowly though, don’t make your headache worse.
  • Reevaluate your workload. Now comes the hard part. Once you’re feeling up to actually doing something about your life, figure out what HAS to be done, and by when. Then figure out which things can be safely ignored or forgotten. Don’t cut activities you enjoy and help you recharge, though. Those are just as necessary as downtime that you don’t have anything scheduled in for recharging your brain. Speaking of which…
  • Schedule in time off, and keep it come hell or high water. Breakdowns occur when there’s too little you to do too much stuff. Having time when you don’t HAVE to do anything is necessary, otherwise you will eventually pop. Don’t pop, please. Take a couple hours two or three times a week, and guard them from the world. They’re yours. Do with them what you wish.
  • Communicate. If you skipped classes or missed something you’d told someone you’d be there for, tell the people affected if you feel comfortable doing so. If not, apologize anyway. Email people for notes. Talk to your S.O. about why you’re sad. Talk to your best friend about scheduling time together. Talk to people, basically. Don’t just assume that you have to shoulder this burden on your own.
  • Consider seeing a counselor. If there’s some underlying issue beyond just general workload stress - or even if there isn’t! - go see a campus counselor. They’re super useful, they’ll listen, and they can give better advice for dealing with life stressors than I ever could. Probably 60% of my friends have gone at one point or another. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed anything.

It’s going to be okay eventually. Take however much time you need to get back on your feet.

Love Story Duet - Requested

As the lights went down and the music started playing, Sherlock found himself immerse in his own thoughts. He was putting his violin inside the case, knowing that he was meant to leave the party before anyone noticed.

He had made the announcement, or at least he had felt it as an announcement, by telling John and Mary about their future baby. The couple were ecstatic, dancing around like a pair of love birds ready to grow their nest. It was so romantic Sherlock had to walk away and stop watching.

Of course, leaving the party hadn’t been precisely his first choice. He had thought of dancing – because he was an excellent dancer and he actually enjoyed it – but Molly had a boyfriend, Mrs. Hudson had been paired up by John with his grand-father and Janine was nowhere to be found.

Sherlock had also thought of sitting with someone to chat until John payed attention to him again, but the only single person there that Sherlock actually knew about was Lestrade and Sherlock didn’t feel like exchanging any sort of conversation with him and his awfully low-functioning self. Socializing with someone new was definitely off the list.

Therefore, Sherlock looked for Janine all around the party, only to find out that she had actually listened to his advice and was now dancing with one of the five bachelors Sherlock recommended. She looked happy, she was truly enjoying that man’s company and the only attention she gave to Sherlock was a mouthed “thank you” from afar.

Sherlock then realized that he had already played his part on that show and was now time to leave the scene. He was no longer required there, at least not for the night, that is. And so he took his violin case, got his coat on and tied his scarf.

“Care to dance?” A female voice asked shyly. Sherlock turned around to meet a beautiful, doll-faced woman expecting for an answer.

Keep reading

Out of the Egg. (Jungkook x Reader) Part 2

“The bird fights its way out of the egg. The egg is the world. Who would be born must first destroy a world.” – Demian by Hermann Hesse

Jungkook x Reader; (with the rest of the BTS members here and there)

Fluff, Suspense, Angst; mentions of violence, death, sexual harassment (briefly), and warfare

War/ Rebellion Au

Summary: The world you had once known is now bare and rotting with evil. Families were torn, houses were burned, and businesses were shattered by the Oppressors. In your world, there were only two possibilities – if you weren’t working with them, you were owned by them. However, a new faction arises that sings of hope and taking back the world that was once for the people, calling themselves “The Changers”. Although you tried to go unnoticed by either of them, out of fear of being killed or captured, you soon find yourself deep in the middle of the rebellion after an unexpected encounter.

Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 (Finale)

Originally posted by shitjeon

Originally posted by baracindy

          “YOU’RE THE LEADER?!” You hissed as Jungkook stepped back behind the stage after his welcome speech.

           He grinned at you cheekily. “What was that about not being better looking than the leader?”

           You huffed. “Well clearly, those girls needed to get their eyes checked.”

           Jungkook chuckled.

           Just then a taller, lean man in a lab coat approached you two. He had circular rimmed glasses and a timid smile.

           "Ah, Y/N.“ Jungkook outstretched his arm, gesturing towards the other man. "This is my right hand man, Kim Namjoon. Namjoon, this is –”

           "Y/N.“ Namjoon smiled warmly and shook your hand. "I’ve heard a lot about you from the Leader. I’m glad we finally found you.”

           You blushed while Jungkook smacked Namjoon.

           "Don’t say that hyung!“

           "Good job, half reading my speech and half making up your own.” Namjoon complimented playfully.

           "Well I don’t talk like you. Make a speech that sounds less like a lecture.“ Jungkook huffed. "I’m an easy going person, not a talking tree of wisdom.”

           Namjoon rolled his eyes. “You’re still a leader. You have to at least appear to have a brain over brawn.”

           "I do too have a brain.“ Jungkook argued.

           Namjoon ignored him and turned to you. "Would you like to accompany me? I have to interview all survivors about their encounters with the Oppressors and their history. It’ll help with our database.”

           You nodded, already feeling at ease with Namjoon. “Yeah, of course.”

           "Already leaving me again?“ Jungkook pouted and you rolled your eyes.

           "Don’t you have leader-ly things to do?”

           "Nope.“ Jungkook shrugged and proceeded to follow you and Namjoon.

           "Tell me if you want me to kick him out.” Namjoon whispered. “All interviews are supposed to be private.”

           "I hear you, hyung.“ Jungkook glared.

           "That’s the point.” Namjoon grinned, causing you to chuckle at their bickering.

           "I don’t mind. He knows pretty much everything about me anyway.“

           Jungkook puffed out his chest proudly. "Yeah, test me. I can answer them!”

           "You’ll just be listening in, in the control room.“ Namjoon shoved Jungkook towards a door while he ushered you to another. "I don’t need your interruptions.”

           Jungkook exhaled defiantly, but stepped into the room anyway. He was greeted by the workers as he sat down, watching you through the one-way glass.

           You glanced around the interview room curiously. It was covered with white padded walls, save the floor which was made of ivory marble. There was a table in the center with four chairs, and a shaded window behind Namjoon, which you assumed allowed the control room to watch and record interviews from the outside.

           "This is standard precaution. I hope you understand.“ Namjoon smiled as he gestured for you to take a seat. "We can’t be too careful nowadays.”

           "I understand.“ You sat in front of him, adopting your emotionless face once again.

           Although you were temporarily ecstatic about reuniting with Jungkook, the grave reality of the world returned to your mind with Namjoon’s words. Who exactly here could you trust? Was everyone in this amazing underground city a Changer, a Survivor? Or would there be someone waiting to tear this apart as they had done the world above?

           "They’re going to hook wires onto you so we can tell if you’re lying or hiding something from us, okay?”

           You nodded, knowing that a refusal would make them skeptical in the first place. Plus, with Jungkook behind the glass, you weren’t as scared as you would have been, had you been alone.

           Jungkook worried his lips as he watched them place wires around your body. He, of course, knew you weren’t related to the Oppressors in any way, but there was still an inkling of doubt. He had seen too many friends betray him– inside the battlefield and out. He prayed to the higher powers that you wouldn’t be one of them.

           "Does anything hurt?“ Namjoon questioned.

           You shook your head and smiled. "It’s uncomfortable, but not painful.”

           He chuckled, “Yeah, well wires shouldn’t be comfortable on your body.”

           You giggled at his lighthearted comment and Jungkook smiled behind the window. He had always liked that you could laugh in the darkest situations. Although neither of you were completely the same anymore, there were still parts of you that felt like home to him.

           "So Y/N, tell us about all your encounters with the Oppressors. How did you survive?“

           Your face fell as the memories you tried to suppress flooded back into the working parts of your mind. Your eyes watered as you recalled finding Jungkook’s father’s body and how your parents had hid you and sacrificed themselves. You told them about the apartment building you had escaped to, that was owned by someone who was helping survivors get new identities and new lives. As descriptively as you could, you spoke about the patrol guards, the countless acts of violence you witnessed, the rumors you heard floating around at work, and anything you could think of that might be of some benefit to them.

           Namjoon remained silent, letting you speak freely. He was jotting down notes and nodding to signify that he was intently listening.

           "So you’ve been alone for years now?” he spoke, once you fell quiet.

           "Yes.“ You choked out, trying to fight back the tears.

           You hadn’t thought about your parents in so long. You hadn’t had the luxury to mourn the dead when you had been fighting so hard to stay alive. Namjoon reached out and grabbed your hand comfortingly.

           "Y/N.” he smiled. “You won’t be alone anymore here.”

           And that completely broke you down into loud sobs; all the hardships and anxieties you had kept to yourself were finally being released.

           You had some room to breathe now. You didn’t have to fight to survive on your own. You didn’t have to live alone and in complete fear of dying without anyone caring.

           Namjoon was at a loss on how to comfort you, having met you only a few minutes ago. He gently patted your hand as he shot a pleading look towards the window, where he knew Jungkook was watching.

           Jungkook scurried to the interrogation room and burst inside. His eyes were watering too at witnessing the visible pain on your face as you retold the tragic passing and sacrifice of your parents, whom you loved so dearly. And he felt guilty that you out of all people had to find his own father’s corpse. He wished so much that he could’ve prevented you from such a sight and such an experience, but back then, it was beyond his control.

           Now, however, was a different story.

           "Get the wires off of her.“ he commanded sternly.

           The people in lab coats rushed over to detangle you as you continued to weep.

           "We don’t have a room for her yet.” Namjoon blinked as Jungkook scooped your frail body up into his arms.

           "She’ll stay with me.“ He breathed as he carried you out of the room easily.

           "Well then.” Namjoon pushed his glasses up and chuckled.

           You were back in the tiny closet compartment of your childhood home, biting down on your shirt to render your sobs inaudible. But the footsteps were closing in and you heard rustling against the knob of your closet. Suddenly, the door was pried open and you heard a gunshot.

           Gasping, you woke up in your apartment, realizing it was all a nightmare. You felt for the gun underneath your pillow to ease your mind. But then you spotted two dark figures on your room floor, sprawled out in awkward positions.

           You tiptoed out of bed to take a closer look, but stumbled back frantically as you recognized your parent’s dead bodies, lying lifelessly and cold in front of you. Then a rough knock was heard on your door and your eyes widened, knowing that they were coming for you.         

           They had found you.

           The door flew open just as you lunged towards your weapon. After another gunshot, you felt a sharp pain being inflicted on your chest.

           You were covered in sweat as you squirmed and groaned. Jungkook stirred worriedly from his makeshift bed on the floor.

           "No…“ you cried as you clutched at your chest.

           "Y/N.” He whispered as he cupped your face. “Y/N. You’re having a nightmare, wake up.”

           You gasped awake and sat up, frantic. You clawed through the darkness, feeling someone’s hands on you. You flailed and thrashed about, terrified out of your mind. Who was in your room? Where were you?

           "It’s me. It’s me.“ Jungkook strongly pinned your arms to your body as he embraced you, trying to calm you down. "It’s Jungkook. You were just having a nightmare.”

           Your breathing slowed as you remembered that you were saved and brought to the Changers’ base just earlier that day. And hugging you was your childhood best friend and leader of the rebellion group, Jeon Jungkook. You relaxed into his chest as you tried to tie the strings of your sanity back together.

           "I’m sorry.“ You whispered.

           He broke the embrace and turned on a dim light so you could see each other’s faces a bit more clearly. He smiled at you.

           "You look terrible.”

           You groaned and pushed your face back into his chest again.

           "This isn’t time for jokes, Kook.“

           "I’m not joking.” he chuckled. “You really do look terrible. Your eyes are so puffy I couldn’t tell if they were open, and you have snot and tears everywhere. I don’t know which is which so I don’t want to wipe your face.”

           "You suck.“ You punched his chest lightly, not wanting to lift your face up out of shame.

           He rubbed your back gently, "Wanna tell me about it?”

           "I just…I guess retelling the past today re-opened my fears. I saw my parent’s corpses and I kept getting shot and captured.“ You mumbled and sunk further into him. "And I’m just terrified, Jungkook.”

           "I’m here now though, Y/N. I won’t let anything or anyone hurt you again, I promise.“ he whispered as he stroked your hair carefully.

           "But who’s going to protect you from getting hurt?” You frowned as you looked up at him worriedly.

           He grinned as he pulled up his sleeves over his hands to wipe your tear-stricken face.

           "I’m invincible!“ he jeered. "Have you seen these muscles? They’re bulletproof!”

           You rolled your eyes, but felt a bit better with his nonsensical jokes. Then you finally realized your surroundings and glanced around.

           "Where are we?“

           Jungkook laughed, "My room.”

           You turned red, realizing you both were on his bed, in the dark. Plus you two were no longer children anymore.

           He smirked, as if seeing the panic in your eyes.

           "Thinking dirty thoughts already?“

           You glared at him. "No.”

           He chuckled. “We’re still building more rooms for survivors so I told Joon-hyung that I’d take you in.”

           You nodded, finally remembering that you had completely broken down in the interrogation room. It was all such a big blur; you assumed that you had immediately passed out from fatigue and the heaviness of your emotions without any idea of where you were being taken. You were trying to piece together the fuzzy fragments of your memories and Jungkook couldn’t help but chuckle at your gears visibly turning.

           "Don’t hurt yourself, Einstein. I carried your sad sack here, and you soaked one of my favorite white shirts. Then you hogged the bed so I had to sleep on the floor.“ he complained as he poked your forehead.

           You felt your cheeks warm. "You were going to sleep next to me when I was unconscious?!”

           Jungkook rolled his eyes. “I’m flattered you’re flustered, but a rebellion leader needs a stable mattress for his back and a good night’s sleep. Your selfish ass took that away from me.”

           You huffed. “Well you shouldn’t sleep next to a lady without her consent in the first place!”

           "A lady?“ Jungkook looked around. "Who’s that? I don’t see one.”

           You shook his body angrily as he cackled. Then he exhaled, rolling onto his back beside you. You glanced over at him while he stared at the ceiling, as if contemplating something. You hugged your knees and waited patiently, taking the time to sneak subtle glances at how different he was physically.

           He had always been handsome, and you knew many of the girls back in the day were jealous of your close relationship with him. But now his face had grown, finally evening out with his ears. His jaw chiseled out and his shoulders and chest broadened. There was an undeniable tug on his sleeves as they curved around his biceps, triceps, and toned forearms as he lay there with one hand behind his head.

           You swallowed and looked away. This was certainly not the time to be thinking of how attractive and manly he had become.

           "What’re you thinking about?“ you mumbled finally.

           "Mmm…” he hummed then turned to his side to face you. “I was wondering the best way to tell you to shower and change into different clothes before going back to sleep.”

           You smacked him, irritated. “I thought you were thinking about something serious, you ass.”

           He laughed, “It’s serious! You know I hate my sheets smelling bad!”

           You exhaled and hopped off his bed. “Fine. Where’s the shower?”

           Jungkook blushed and pointed behind you. “Um, there.”

           You turned and froze.

           There, in the corner of his room, was a clear, glass shower. He would very clearly see you bathing from anywhere in the room.

           "How about the toilet?“ You gasped.

           "Oh that’s closed off, don’t worry.” he giggled.

           "What the heck?“

           "Okay, so I was paranoid and had them build it that way so I could see if anyone was trying to attack me!” he explained firmly. “People are the most vulnerable in the shower!”

           "Are you serious?“ You stared at him in disbelief.

           "I’m quite serious. Anyone could strike when you have your eyes shut while washing your face or if shampoo gets in your eye. Think of the possibilities, Y/N!”

           "But if someone walks in, you’re completely exposed!“

           "Oh, I lock my door.” Jungkook shrugged. “Plus I’d hear and see the door knob rustling and I’d pull out my waterproof weapon.”

           You rubbed your temples. “Still doesn’t make sense to me.”

           "Well that’s just how it is; it doesn’t have to make sense.“

           You sighed and glanced at him. "So um, how exactly do you expect me to shower?”

           "Umm naked?“ he teased and you kicked him off the bed.

           He cackled as he got up nonchalantly. "I’ll go find you some clothes. It’ll take about 10 minutes, so you should be clothed by then.”

           "But if you’re looking for my clothes, how do you expect me to be clothed, you perv.“

           Jungkook chuckled as he took off his sweater and threw it at you.

           "Throw this on first then.” he smirked then stepped out of the room.

           You huffed and hurried out of your clothes. You had been feeling quite filthy, what with who knows how far and where you traveled to get to the base, and of course, the lingering touches of those creepy patrol guards on your skin. You shivered as you let the warm water hit your tired body.

           You had set a timer on your phone for 8 minutes so when it buzzed, you scurried to finish cleansing yourself. On time, you pulled Jungkook’s sweater over your bare body and hid under his covers, feeling completely exposed.

           The door cautiously cracked open.

           "Y/N?“ Jungkook called out.

           "I’m good.”

           He exhaled and stepped inside. He chucked a bag towards you shyly.

           "That’s for tomorrow. But they put underwear and bras in there for you.“

           You asked awkwardly. ”…How did you know my size?“

           "Um those wire thingies scanned your body…” Jungkook looked away. “They do it so the sewers can manufacture you clothes right away.”

           You blushed and nodded. “Oh okay.”

           Jungkook moved to his closet and took out sweat pants. “These will definitely be long, but you’re just going to sleep, so here.”

           "Can I have a white shirt too?“ You smiled innocently.

           He squinted at you. You knew he hated to part with them, but you didn’t want to just wear a sweater and a bra…especially when you were in a man’s room, even if it was Jungkook.

           "Fine.” he agreed half-heartedly.

           You had to pry the shirt out of his death grip and sprint to bathroom before he changed his mind.

           You turned to face Jungkook on the floor. He had his eyes closed and you wondered if he was asleep.

           "Take a picture instead of staring at me.“ he teased.

           You scoffed.

           "Why’re you still awake?” he opened his eyes and glanced up.

           You blushed and averted your gaze. “I guess I slept a lot earlier after my crying fest.”

           Jungkook snorted.

           "Jungkook…“ you started.


           "How did you survive?“ your voice sounded small, but you had been curious this whole time. You had only found one corpse in his apartment, so you thought the rest of his family had been dragged to the barracks and imprisoned in the least.

           Jungkook remained silent for a few minutes and you wondered if you shouldn’t have asked. When you were about to take the question back, he stood up, hugging his pillow, and nudged you over with his foot. You moved over curiously and immediately turned red when he slipped under the covers with you. He fluffed his pillow happily and nuzzled into the comfort of his mattress.

           "It’s a pretty long story.” he smiled sadly. “Will you listen?”

           You relaxed and nodded.

           Seeing the despair in his eyes, you knew the past few years had been just as hard for him as they had been for you. You reached your hand out to him, and he began playing with your fingers nervously as he began his trip back in time.

           Jungkook loved his family dearly and they cherished him in return. He had an older brother who showed him the ropes – how to act cool, dress nice, how to approach people. Since he was the youngest, he tended to be shy and reserved, not sure how exactly to act around adults and older people or even how to take care of the younger. His mother was loving, wise, and warm. Her laughter always filled the house and Jungkook loved to hear it, so he developed a sense of humor just to make her laugh. Even though she was caring, she ruled the house with quiet and firm hand, keeping everyone tidy and in line.

           His father was hard-working and serious, but he did have a playful side to him, albeit not as silly as his sons’. Although he worked a lot, he never compromised spending time with the family. Jungkook loved the weekends where they would all squeeze together on their couch and argue about which movie to put in. Once they settled on a choice, everyone would stay silent and focus, only making funny comments here and there.

           It was comfortable; it was home.

           You were also shy and reserved, considering you were an only child. You didn’t really like interacting with others because you weren’t sure how. As most parents do though, having children of the same age meant sticking them together for play dates. And for the first few times, you sat in awkward silence with Jungkook. It was painfully obvious that your parents’ wanted you two to be friends, but neither of you were sure how to start a friendship.

           In Jungkook’s case, his brother was always there to introduce him and ease him into the conversation. In your case, no one really ever taught or showed you how to be friends with kids your age. However, what brought you two out of the awkward phase was none other than a large chocolate egg.

           You loved them because when you opened round chocolate, there was always a toy inside. That day, your mother had given one to you to appease your tantrums over having another awkward play date with your neighbor. You sat in the middle of your living room unwrapping it when you felt Jungkook’s eyes curiously on you. You glanced over and he blushed, looking away. You smiled slightly. Maybe he liked chocolate eggs too? So you kindly broke it in half and handed him one side of the egg. Scooting over shyly, he accepted it without a word. Then he spotted the toy car that you had taken out from inside and his eyes widened.

           "Did THAT come out of the egg?!“

           He finally spoke.

           And the rest was history.

           Because you were so small and a girl, Jungkook always felt the innate need to protect you. So when the descent into tyranny began, he kept you close at all times. Because he had seen many other female students disappearing and just the thought of that happening to you filled him with dread. You had always been positive of course, and he didn’t try to dispel your mindset, because it filled him with hope as well. If you both had doubts, what would become of it?

           But then the night came.

           Jungkook was jolted awake by the sound of their door, bursting open. His brother was in the adjacent bed, also wide-eyed and alert. Not hesitating, he jumped into bed with his younger sibling and lay a protective arm around him.

           "Where are the two boys?” a rough voice growled, sending shivers down Jungkook’s spine.

           His heart was racing. Was this really happening?

           Then the door to their room collapsed under the weight of a soldier’s foot. Jungkook buried his head into his brother’s chest, terrified.

           "They did nothing wrong!“ His mother appeared, clawing at the soldier desperately as he pointed the gun at her two sons. "They did nothing wrong!”

           "WE did nothing wrong!“ Jungkook’s brother yelled defiantly.

           "Shut up!” the guards howled as they swarmed the room.

           Hands pried Jungkook away from the safety of his brother’s embrace and his face was wet from tears. All this time, he had thought he was strong enough, old enough, powerful enough to protect someone he cared about. He acted tough and puffed his chest out around you because he could glare away a few bullies from bothering you. But the mere seconds that he was in the presence of the Oppressors showed him how little and insignificant he was; how powerless they all had been, how foolish.

           His body yelled at him to struggle and kick them down with brute force, but the gun against his mother’s head paralyzed him. They were all brought to their knees in the middle of their living room, facing each other.

           "Now which of you should be left behind as a warning for everyone in this complex?“ one of the men snarled.

           "Take me.” Jungkook’s brother spoke up immediately.

           Jungkook’s eyes widened in shock. He always admired his brother’s fearlessness and righteousness while he was always so hesitant and selfish.

           "You?“ the gun was shoved against his brother’s temple.

           "No!” His father bellowed. “Leave me! Don’t touch my family!”

           Jungkook stared as his parents exchanged loving looks, communicating without words. Coldness filled his entire body as it dawned on him that this was going to be the last time all four of them would be together in the very living room where they had spent countless of hours laughing with one another. He fought back his sobs and opened his mouth to volunteer. He would rather be dead than deal with the loss of one of his family members.

           But the gunshot pierced through the silence of the night before his voice was heard.

           "NOOOO!“ Jungkook cried as he watched his father’s body fall limply to the ground. "DADDDD!”

           Immediately, he was bound, gagged, and pulled away from his home. His dad’s lips moved one last time and curled up into a smile before his eyes closed forever. Jungkook struggled frantically. He wanted to be beside his father. He wanted to keep him awake. He wanted to call for help. But the overwhelming strength of the guards’ grips prevented him from budging. He stared at his brother and mother who were crying silently, but not resisting.

           Why weren’t they fighting?

           Because there was no point.

           His body shook violently as he sobbed, helplessly, powerlessly. They were packed into the back of a truck and left in darkness, being taken to who knows where.

           After a few minutes of staring at the black enveloping him, hearing rustling and the cackles of the guards in the front of the truck, Jungkook felt himself being shoved out of the truck suddenly.

           "I believe in your future, my sons.“

           He heard a gentle whisper as he slowly rolled out. He gasped as he felt the cool air hit his skin and a stinging pain as he slammed onto the ground. Quickly, his head shot up and found his mother still in the truck, broken free from the cloth bindings. His eyes widened as she threw a knife towards him. Peripherally, he spotted his brother lunge for it, freeing himself then Jungkook swiftly.

           "Mom.” Jungkook exhaled, in panic when his mouth was uncovered.

           Quietly, his brother grabbed his hand and pulled him into the nearest alleyway.

           "They’ve escaped! The sons have escaped! You bitch, what did you do?“

           Jungkook heard the yelling as his brother continued to lead him through the narrow street.

           "Mom!” he breathed once again, urging his brother to go back.

           "Jungkook, she’s buying us time.“ his brother finally spoke, gritting his teeth to fight back his own tears.

           That’s when it hit him. His parents’ knowing looks, his brother volunteering first. They all were on the same page… except for him.

           They were all protecting him.

           He clenched his fists, annoyed at himself. Why was he so helpless? Why did they have to sacrifice themselves for someone as worthless as him? He couldn’t even do anything for them in return.

           "There! I see them!” the familiar voice of one of the guards echoed behind them.

           Jungkook and his brother sped up. They couldn’t let their parents’ deaths be in vain. They needed to escape; they needed to live. Jungkook swallowed, wondering about you, whether you would be subjected to the same fate or worse. He shut his eyes and willed his legs to move faster, but the guards were getting closer. It seemed they had others on the lookout in the area because they felt that they were being closed in.

           Then suddenly, Jungkook’s brother froze.

           Jungkook opened his eyes, confused by the sudden halt. Then he gasped. In front of them was a group of people dressed in camouflage. They weren’t the Oppressor’s uniforms…but who were they?

           The man leading them grinned.

           "Looks like you two could use a little help?“

           Jungkook’s brother nodded confidently. "The Oppressors are coming after us.”

           "Perfect.“ the guy grinned then turned to the people behind him. "You two, take these survivors to safety. Everyone else, spread out as planned. Move, move.”

           "Wh-who are you guys?“ Jungkook’s brother breathed, in awe.

           The supposed leader of the group patted both of their shoulders warmly.

           "We’re the Changers.”

           You wrapped your arms around Jungkook as he stopped his story to breathe in deeply. He let you embrace and comfort him. He had been separated from his emotions for so long; he didn’t realize how painful it was to recount the past, how much he had suppressed. It was always one battle after another since he had gotten to the base. His mind was constantly filled with thoughts of victory, battle plans, and survival tactics that he spared no time to dwell on anything more.

           "I’m sorry.“ You whispered as you rubbed his arm comfortingly. "You can stop here if you want.”

           Jungkook sniffled and shook his head.

           He chuckled sadly, “My brother will be sad if I don’t tell you how cool he was.”

           You smiled and nodded, ready to listen again.

           "Wow, we have ourselves some strong, fit survivors!“ A woman that referred to herself as simply "B” greeted. “Follow me. We have to interview you.”

           As you had done, they were interrogated, given clothes, and a room for the two of them. And eventually, they were given the choice.

           "I know this is sudden and you two have barely been here for a week.“ B frowned as she stepped into their room.

           Jungkook eyed his brother who sat up straighter, listening intently.

           "But we could use more manpower in the battlefield. Of course, we won’t force you to join. Everyone’s entitled to a choice, but I really believe you two would become fine Changers soldiers.” B smiled.

           "I’ll do it.“ his brother agreed immediately.

           B glanced over at Jungkook, who was a bit hesitant, as usual. Before Jungkook could speak up though, his brother stepped between him and B’s expectant gaze.

           "Leave my brother out of the battlefield, please.” he softened.

           Jungkook stood up hurriedly, “No, I want to fight.”

           "Jungkook.“ his brother frowned. "I promised mom and dad –”

           "Well, I’m going to fight to protect you and myself. I don’t need a promise from people who are gone!“ Jungkook lashed out.

           His brother looked hurt for a split second then smiled understandably.

           "Just have a decision to me by the end of the week.” B mannerly left the two alone to discuss things.

           "Stop treating me like a baby.“ Jungkook huffed.

           "But you’re my little brother, Kook.”

           "But I’m grown up!“

           His brother smiled sadly and ruffled his hair. "Yeah, you’re right. You’re old enough to make your own decisions now. I was just being an overprotective older brother.”

           Then he hugged Jungkook warmly. “But you’re all I have now, Kook, so I want to keep you safe.”

           "Well the same goes for me, you know.“ he retorted, causing his brother to laugh.

           "I can’t argue with you there.”

           "Plus I’d feel better seeing you were safe with my own eyes than waiting behind anxiously.“ Jungkook frowned.

           "Alright, alright. Looks like you’ve made your decision.” His brother patted his cheek. “Let’s go kick some Oppressor ass then.”

           Jungkook grinned widely.

           The two quickly rose through the ranks. Their innately athletic build and keen intuition made them two of the strongest soldiers in the Changers’ army. Not to mention their amiable and sweet personality made them two of the most popular. The Jeon Brothers were favorites in the Underground City. They had their own fan clubs and got letters of admirations and confessions. While Jungkook would always avoid the crowds if he could help it, his brother was always kind-hearted and thanked them for their efforts. But he never accepted any of their confessions, because his heart was already taken.

           As he had suspected, his brother had feelings for B. Since Jungkook was shy and reserved, always preferring the background and shadows, he got really good at reading people and his surroundings. This made him attune to people’s emotions and moods, adjusting his personality accordingly. So he would train on his own or with his comrades to give his brother time alone with B. He suspected B reciprocated his feelings as well, but he never understood why they danced around each other all the time even though the chemistry was evident. They expressed their feelings subtly, almost quietly and secretively.

           Whenever they came back from a triumphant guerrilla attack, B would always seek out his brother’s arms first and his brother’s eyes would search for her upon return. And as was custom with incognito missions, they had to leave their dog tags behind. Jungkook would always put it inside an envelope for safe-keeping then give it to Namjoon, while his brother would always give it to B.

           B went on attacks as well and they planned it accordingly that neither of them was out in battle at the same time. One of them was always keeping the other’s possessions and their home base safe. And the one who was away would find comfort and strength in knowing that someone was waiting for them to return.

           But one day, B didn’t come back for her dog tag.

           And it was this particular rescue mission that took his brother from him.

           They were split up into two teams. His brother led one while another soldier headed Jungkook’s group. He had refused to be put where he couldn’t protect his brother’s back, but his brother stated that he had to put someone that he trusted wholeheartedly into the other group. And Jungkook knew how much rescuing B meant to him so with a heavy heart, he agreed. He knew both teams needed to do their parts in order to pull it off with the least amount of casualties.

           So he wasn’t sure how or why it happened, but when he came to the clearing, his brother was already losing blood quickly.

           "Hyung!“ Jungkook cried frantically as he pressed down on the wound.

           "B…” his brother breathed.

           Jungkook’s eyes searched and spotted her limp body not too far from his brother’s. His heart hurt realizing that his brother probably had been careless, let his emotions get the best of him, and had run to his woman in panic, without thinking of the consequences. From the looks of it, she had been dead even before they arrived to rescue them.

           "Jungkook! What the hell are you doing?“ one of his comrades, Yoongi, yelled. "You’re going to get shot!”

           "Cover me, hyung!“ he commanded.

           "Ah, fuck.” Yoongi huffed, but did so as Jungkook dragged B’s body beside his hyung’s.

           "Thank you.“ his brother smiled. His hand limply reached out for hers. Jungkook shut his eyes, trying not to break down, and helped them intertwine fingers.

           "I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you hyung.” Jungkook whispered as he turned B’s face towards his brother’s so it would be the last thing he saw.

           "You did, Jungkook. So many times.“ he replied. "You gave me someone to protect and that made me stronger. It helped me continue living. You and B kept me alive, gave me hope.”

           Jungkook sobbed. “But what am I supposed to do now?”

           "Live, Kook. Live and fight for a better future for all of the survivors. Don’t be scared of them. Love them and get to know them.“ His brother cupped his face lovingly. "You were always better with understanding people’s hearts than I was.”

           "That’s not true.“

           His brother smiled. "I believe in you, Jungkook.”

           Jungkook cried as he held his brother’s and B’s hands together tightly.

           "You loved each other so much…why couldn’t it have been me?“ Jungkook wept.

           "Shhh…don’t say that.” His brother lazily wiped his tears. “We knew it was going to happen eventually, yet we still loved as much as we could in the time that was given to us. We knew there would be no future for us from the beginning. We don’t have any regrets, Kook.”

           Jungkook continued to sob, clutching onto his brother’s and B’s clasped hands.

           "Kook, we have to get out of here.“ Yoongi placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

           Jungkook sniffled and stood up, taking one last look at his brother, who scooted over to plant a kiss on B’s cold forehead. It might’ve been just his imagination or the strength of his wish, but he thought he saw B’s lips curl up in a gentle smile at the contact and her face relaxed. Jungkook rubbed his eyes and glanced back down at the couple in front of him.

           "I love you, hyung.” he whispered.

           "I love you too, Kook.“ his hyung replied as his eyes slowly fell and his spirit left him.

           Yoongi had to drag Jungkook away because his tears were blinding him from seeing the proper path to escape.

           Jungkook felt your body shaking with violent sobs and he smiled. That was so like you to cry for him, since he had run out of tears a long time ago.

           "And so I climbed through the ranks, and with the death of the old Leader, I was the highest rank assigned to take the position. None of my comrades wanted it.” he chuckled. “I felt like my brother would’ve made a better leader than me, but I wanted to take it to make him and my parents proud. I wanted the power to make the difference they believed in and died for.”

           "I’m sure they’re super proud of how far you’ve come.“ You wiped your tears away, trying to compose yourself. "You’re saving so many people, Kook, and you’re giving so many people hope.”

           Jungkook remained silent and you glanced up at him curiously.

           "What?“ you questioned.

           "For how long?” he mumbled. “For how long can I hold onto just hope and small battles?”

           You frowned and cupping his cheek, placed a soft kiss there. He felt his body heat up from the unexpected contact.

           "For as long as there’s still people left fighting for what’s right, Kooks.“ You answered seriously.

           He glanced down at you, and laughed, seeing the fire of determination in your eyes. You had always surprised him back in the day with your bursts of confidence. It was good to know you hadn’t changed much.

           "Yeah, you’re right.” he stretched and yawned, feeling the drowsiness kick in now that he was at ease.

           "Jungkook.“ You sat up, staring down at him.

           "Hm?” he blinked.

           "Do they still give Survivors a choice?“

           "A choice? Yeah, why?” he tilted his head curiously.

           "Because…“ you pursed your lips together. 

           "Jungkook, I want to fight too.”


anonymous asked:

do you know any tongue twisters in russian? have you ever heard of the скороговорка: Лигурия? would you recommend that a foreigner tries to learn it ? :)

Of course I know Russian tongue twisters, but I’ve never heard about Лигурия before, and I checked it out and it really impressed me haha. In my opinion, Russian tongue twisters are really-really hard, much harder than any English tongue twister that I know, and even though I’m Russian it’s hard for me to pronounce them quickly. Usually, actors, journalists and people whose job involves public speech, are trained to read them fast. The most famous ones are

На дворе трава, на траве дрова. Не руби дрова на траве двора. (there’s grass in the yard, on the grass there’re woods. Don’t cut the woods on the grass of the yard)

Триста тридцать три корабля лавировали, лавировали, лавировали, лавировали да не вылавировали (333 ships maneuvered, maneuvered, maneuvered, maneuvered, but didn’t manage to maneuver)

Карл у Клары украл кораллы, а Клара у Карла украла кларнет. Если бы Карл не крал у Клары кораллы, то Клара не крала бы у Карла кларнет. (Carl stole corals from Clara, and Clara stole a clarinet from Carl. If Carl wouldn’t had stolen the corals from Clara, Clara wouldn’t have stolen the clarinet from Calr)

 Ехал грека через реку, видит Грека в реке рак. Сунул Грека руку в реку, рак за руку Греку - цап. (Greka drove over the river, Greka sees a canser in the river. Greka put his hand into the river, and the canser caught the Greka’s hand).

Of course, I think that learning or at least reading tongue twisters in Russian will do no harm, and you can try to learn ‘Лигурия’, if you want to, as I tried to learn the poem ‘Chaos’ about the English pronunciation by heart. It was very useful because I learned a hell lot of new words from it. But please, don’t try too hard, because most Russians can’t recite even these short tongue twisters, and Лигурия seems completely impossible for me. But if you manage, it’ll be very, very cool, and it could be your most powerful weapon to impress a Russian (ok, not only a Russian) with your speaking skills because Лигурия consists of 40 tongue twisters of the Russian Language.

If you are interested how can Лигурия sound when you recite it really fast, then watch this:

Thank you for the question!

A.R.M.Y. our fandom, thank you very much. We still cannot believe that we are standing here on this stage at the Billboard Music Awards, oh my gosh. And it is so great to see all the artists we admire, and we feel honored to be in this category with such great artists, you know like, right in front of us. Just, really honored. And most importantly, this award belongs to the every people all around the world that shine their love and light on us by the millions and make BTS proud, really everywhere. Please A.R.M.Y. remember what we say: “Love myself”. Love yourself. Thank you Billboard for supporting us! Thank you!
—  Namjoon, accepting the award for Top Social Artist at the Billboard Music Awards

victoriousl19  asked:

Could you do a headcanon with Undertaker, Grell, and William when it comes to falling in love with their s/o (or reader?) Specifically what they'd do when they first meet, when they can't get the s/o out of their mind, second meeting, dating scenarios (where they'd take their s/o and what exactly they'd be doing on the date), jealousy, and becoming boyfriend and girlfriend? I'm sorry it's so long, but I'd really appreciate it! Your headcanons are my favorite! ;D

I feel so flattered to be somebody’s favourite headcanon writer ♥ Thank you for clarificating your request, it’s always nice to work when you know exactly what the other person wants to see. (Also, is that you on your icon? If yes, you’re soooOOOooo beautiful like ho w?!)


  • Undertaker is not the person who would fall in love from the first sight so his first meeting with future lover wouldn’t differ too much from those with any other person. What could vary is the fact that he won’t take his eyes off of you, discretly observing and admiring until finally deciding to make a first move and approach you, wanting to get to know you better.
  • He will lay in one of the coffins for almost the whole day, thinking about this one human whose mere presence was enough to occupy his mind to the point where he can’t focus on his work. Soon, he will start to plan how to meet with you again and not appear as some creepy stalker.
  • He will surprise you one day somewhere in the city so you wouldn’t feel scared by his appearance and start a casual conversation, wanting to seem as chill and funny as possible, trying to show you that he doesn’t have any bad intentions and eventually inviting you for a date.
  • The perfect place for a date would be a simple walk in the park. In the middle of the night. It will give you some privacy and an opportunity to talk and get to know each other better but also won’t be too embarrassing as sitting in one place would be. Undertaker needs a lot of time to make sure that you truly like him and aren’t afraid of him but his methods may be a little bit inconvenient.
  • When jealous, Undertaker will be passive-aggressive. He won’t directly face the person he sees the danger in but will make sure that they are aware of his presence and the fact that he doesn’t like them being around you too often. Looking like a creep will help him very much to do so.
  • The day when you will both agree to openly start a relationship will be the day when he will seriously kiss you for the first time. And believe me, it will make your knees weak.


  • Grell won’t think to much if she saw a person to her liking, no matter the circumstances. She could be in the middle of reaping as well and would finish faster than usually, only to not let such a precious human escape before greeting her and a little, innocent flirt.
  • Honestly, she will spend the evening imagining how the sex with you be like, how do you kiss and hug, if you are clingy person or not, anything of this sort which will always lead to the same conclusion - if you are this certain person send by the fate who will love her for the rest of the life.
  • Soon, she will find you and openly admit that she wants to take you for a date but only if you will be the one to invite her for the second one. It will prove her that you are actually willing to meet with her but also give her an opportunity to feel like a lady. She will act all surprised and moved if you will decide to invite her for a date, as if she hasn’t had an idea about it.
  • She will take you to the place where you can both dance and look fabulous so the ball sounds appealing. She will always make sure that you are having fun and not feel tired/bored/uncomfortable but if she will notice this kind of changes in your mood, she won’t refuse to take you back home. Naturally, you will have to be aware that being a fan of great wine, she will be more clingy than usually and your date together will most likely end in passionate make out session.
  • Grell’s confident appearance will probably scare off all the potential people who would want to take you away from her but if there was some true endanger from anyone’s side, she will go to them, grab them by the collar and tell what she thinks about it. 100% success, they won’t dare to bother you anymore.
  • Becoming officially a girlfriend won’t change too much in your relationship, only the fact that you will now have an access to some of her secrets and she will be more eager to talk to you about her real feelings and problems.


  • William will be in a state of deny. He has an important work to do, a lot of responsibilities, not to mention that he is a serious, adult man who certainly shouldn’t be feeling this way. First meeting with him will me like a job speech, too formal to be considered as a flirt but still, you will end up with his business card in a pocket.
  • He will be so frustrated that he will accidentally break few pencils while trying to write down the report. Of course, thinking about you won’t make his documents appear any less professional, it is just the fact that he can’t take you out of his mind for this whole time that makes him genuinely stressed.
  • After giving you few days to think about the whole situation, he will send you an official letter inviting you for a dinner. William may appear as calm when waiting for your answer but deep inside he will constantly wonder about your possible answer. I mean, constantly. Even in the sleepless nights.
  • The dinner in an elegant restaurant may be quite awkward but the delicious food will revard you the nerves, especially with an accompany of William’s talking. you will be surprised by how much of a gentelman he is and how much he knows about old wines. For the whole evening, he will be trying to captivate you by his intelligence, being perfectly aware that he doesn’t have too much charm to use so he has to use different ways to get to your heart.
  • You will never know if he is jealous or not, normally he won’t ever show it in front of you, nor this person. The only thing he will do about it is to start fighting harder for your attention so you will reject them yourself.
  • He will directly ask you if you want to be his partner and demand an answer. That’s it, from this moment you are officially together and he won’t have to hold himself from consuming your relationship.

In the wake of new people starting Doctor Who after 13 has been announced, I thought “don’t skip Nine” was a universally accepted Doctor Who rule, but apparently some people still act like season 1 is shit for some reason so I’m being forced to make this post

The amount of people I’ve seen telling new watchers “I know Rose is a bad pilot but keep watching it gets better” or god forbid “just watch the Empty Child/Doctor Dances then go straight to season 2” makes me so irrationally angry

a) For a start, Rose isn’t even a bad pilot, and it bothers me that people can’t see past the admittedly very stupid plastic Mickey plotline.  It establishes the characters well, there is a witty script, and some genuinely heavy emotional speeches considering it’s only the first episode. Don’t even get me started on Rose’s “no A-levels, no job, no future” speech which is honestly one of the most important scenes I’ve ever seen in a TV show.  Also Autons are actually very creepy villains and have remained so culturally relevant that shop window dummies still freak me out.  It is silly at times, and the special effects are bad because it’s from 2005, but when people mock or dismiss it I get so angry because they can’t seem to look past the silly aspects??????  (Also the show is targeted at kids so of course it’s going to be a little silly sometimes????)

b) Which brings me to how people view the rest of the season: “silly aside from the Empty Child two parter”.  Which, don’t get me wrong, is an excellent two parter.  But I feel like people view season 1 very hazily, remembering how good that two parter is, how silly Slitheens look, and nothing else, and therefore assume that the rest is bad.  HOW can you tell someone to skip season 1 in the knowledge that they’re skipping Dalek and Father’s Day (if you’re going to ignore the silly episodes at least acknowledge that there are serious ones other than the Empty Child).  How can you expect them to appreciate the Doctor/Rose relationship in season 2 without having seen The End of the World or The Unquiet Dead, or The fucking Parting of the fucking Ways.  How can you deprive them of the sheer comedy of Boom Town, which imo is proof that an episode can be both silly and worth watching.  Can you even fully appreciate the “everybody lives” moment in The Doctor Dances if you haven’t seen the previous episodes?  Does it even have the same effect?  What about the ENTIRE SEASON BUILD UP of Bad Wolf and how clever that was????  What about, like, Nine.  

Admittedly not all of season 1 is good (I frequently forget The Long Game exists) but that is the same for any show, and it bothers me that some silly monsters and poor special effects will convince people that an entire season of a show is bad because they apparently have no appreciation for substance.  It’s not even a case of “you have to get through the bad stuff to fully appreciate the good stuff” because season 1 ISN’T BAD.  AT ALL.  Someone watching a pilot and a two parter and then going straight into the next season (or just skipping the first season all together like a fucking heathen) is just not going to understand the show to its full extent.  And they’re missing out on so much.

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
—  Steve Jobs
Replace VI Ch 3 旅立ちの時(Time of Departure) English Translation Part 3 *FINAL* (Rakuzan and Shuutoku graduation)

Here it is! The last part!!!!

Our last schools are Rakuzan and Shuutoku! Prepare for the feels Part 3! 
(and also here are some visuals of them from Replace Plus)

Next chapter I’ll be working on is Team Strky!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

do you have any headcanons for aaron and neil being friends?

  • during Aaron and Andrew’s fifth year, Neil and Andrew’s Cold War reaches a boiling point
  • by which I mean Aaron comes to a realization that he is just a few months away from a permanent separation from Andrew
  • and he wants a relationship with Andrew, he want his brother to be a part of his life
  • but he knows that even if their deal stood for the rest of their lives, Andrew would always pick Neil over Aaron
  • meaning if he wants Andrew, he needs Neil too
  • which is not easy at first, because he still dislikes Neil
  • it starts with Aaron actually acknowledging Neil’s existence
  • a “hey” here, random question or invite there
  • Andrew notices. Neil notices that Andrew notices
  • of course, Aaron has basically hated his guts for about three years now, and Andrew apparently doesn’t know where it’s all coming from either, so Neil gets a bit ~suspicious~
  • but he also wants answers
  • so he goes to Katelyn and asks her what’s up, and she explains how Aaron is trying to be nice because he wants them as a part of his life post-palmetto
  • Neil, once he’s done having a heart attack over someone wanting to be friends with him, is elated
  • not because Aaron wants to be his friend, but because Aaron wants to be his friend
  •  this is the scenario he’s been trying to build since freshman year
  • so he takes Aaron’s olive branch
  • and thus begins a beautiful friendship
  • I’m just kidding
  • it takes Aaron literal months to stop hating Neil’s guts and Neil still has major trust issues with literally everyone except maybe Andrew
  • this relationship is the most emotionally exhausting thing either of these boys have ever done
  • and yes, that includes talking to the fbi and straight-up homicide
  • but by spring break, they’re almost as inseparable as Neil and Andrew
  • I’m saying almost because Aaron has Katelyn (not to mention his brother gets handsy sometimes and he does NOT need to see that jfc)
  • at that point, you will almost never see Neil without at least one tiny blond at his side
  • (additional headcanon that robin is tiny and blond too so it’s actually 3. Wymack comments on Neil’s new collection more than once)
  • anyway they hang out all the time
  • Which makes Neil’s fifth year even more difficult without them
  • and things only really settle down once he and Andrew are drafted to the same team
  • but they figure it out
  • Neil is the best man at Aaron and Katelyn’s wedding
  • Aaron briefly considers Andrew but then remembered the job requires a speech and he is so not pulling the pin on that grenade
  • and no way in hell is he letting Nicky do it after the mess that was Nicky’s and Erik’s wedding but i will get to that another day
  • and when Neil and Andrew get married, Neil decides to take the name Minyard
  • and yeah that’s all I really got