hours at Starbucks considerably. I’m terrified I’m going to fuck up and end up with no job anywhere and with my bf’s mom hating me more than she does. I’m frozen with indecision and so afraid to stall my life
even more than it has been already. Help?
What leapt out at me from this was “hating me more than she does”.
All else being equal I would normally say hey, jump for the better-paying job that gets you out of Starbucks, being offered to you by someone you know who probably isn’t out to screw you. But if you genuinely feel this woman doesn’t like you, then there are two reasons she might make this offer:
1. She doesn’t like you, and she knows the job is hellish and wants you to take it because she thinks you won’t walk since you love her son.
2. She actually likes you fine and wants to help you, but the two of you are having some communication issues that make you feel otherwise.
I can’t tell you which it is, or if it’s some distant third option, but if you aren’t comfortable in this woman’s presence, you are not going to love spending eight hours a day with her at your new job. Also if you break up with your boyfriend that’s going to get awkward fast. There are a lot of axioms out there about working with family and how you generally should not do it.
On the other hand…
One of my friends often says “you can do anything for a year” and while I think that’s not always true, it is often true. This job sounds like it’s a definite step up that you can take without having to go through a lengthy process full of rejection, and it sounds like it would at least be less exhausting than the Bux.
If I were in your shoes I would take the new job, tell my boss at the Bux that I have an opportunity I need to explore but I’d like to keep hours there if I can, and give the new place a few weeks at least. I would also talk to your boyfriend and lay out your reservations so that if you have to walk from the job, he isn’t surprised. (You should, perhaps, also discuss with him that you feel his mother dislikes you, sooner rather than later, because that’s a problem that rarely goes away on its own.) But I am emotionally disconnected inside so working with someone who hates me has not traditionally been a huge deal for me. :D It may be for you.
Ultimately there are a lot of factors in play here, and you’re going to have to make a hard call either way. I think you need to examine how stable your relationship with your boyfriend is, whether or not you genuinely think you can deal with working with someone who makes you uncomfortable, and whether that’s really the best alternative to “keep working at Starbucks and somehow find the energy to apply for other jobs”. I would try and frame it thusly: “I can keep working at Starbucks or I can take this new job with my boyfriend’s mother or I can…” and then work out what your other option would be. Might help, can’t hurt anyway. :)
Good luck — it’s not an easy decision to make.