✨💼Spell for a Job💼✨

**Disclaimer: This spell will not work if you do not apply to jobs or do not show up to interviews. The Universe does not bend to you and you should put in the effort. This can also be used for current business endeavors, feel free to tailor it to what you need.

Ingredients:

  • Chamomile
  • Basil
  • Cayenne Pepper
  • Green Onion
  • Olive Oil (Optional)

Directions:

First Method: Burn ingredients together in a fire-safe container like a cauldron or cast-iron cooking skillet/pot. Light a green or gold candle to go with it and repeat incantation.

Second Method: Consecrate the ingredients with incense or herb smoke (feel free to pass job applications through the smoke as well.) Picture your intentions and then combine the ingredients in a vial with olive oil. Repeat incantation if you’d like.

Incantation: “A job for me, is a job to be. I’ve worked hard; let this job put money on my card. As I say, so mote it be.”

Wear oil to job interviews or other business endeavors if you’d like! Let the candles burn out if you use them, and feel free to do other workings as well. This spell would work best during the waxing and/or full moon.

The boss walked into the office.
“Hey, Phil, can you do me a favor?” he asked. The boss sat down in front of Phil’s desk.
“Sure, what’s the favor?” Phil was eager to gain favor by doing favors.
“It’s just that there’s this darn spider in the building. Real nasty one. HR prevents a boss like me from killing anything (and I mean anything, not a bug, not a mouse, not even a human, ha ha), so I was wondering if you could do the deed.” The boss pulled out a pack of gum. “Gum?”
“Yeah,” said Phil, “that’s gum alright. Boss, I don’t know. A spider, sure, but a nasty one? What are we talking?”
The boss threw the pack of gum away without ever opening it. Big pack too. 100 sticks. Meant for the military. “It’s tall, Phil.”
“Tall? How tall?”
“About yay-high.”
“Yay-high?”
“Yeah! When I first saw it I wasn’t sure if it was a spider or an intern (ha ha). But I checked with the head of interns and she said it wasn’t one of hers. Wish I could check with the head of spiders to confirm fully (ha ha ha), but I can’t do that.”
“I don’t know, boss…”
“Phil, I didn’t want to have to do this…but the CEO just told me we’re gonna have to make cutbacks soon. Nobody’s buying shrimp anymore. I have to let go 20 people at this branch…if you get what I mean.”
“If I don’t kill this spider, I’m fired?”
“Your words, not mine. But they’re good words, that I fully endorse. (Where’s my big endorsement deal? Ha ha. Ya know Tiger Woods gets $50 every time someone says the word “Nike”? Oh, there I go. Just gave him a fifty!) So Phil? We got a deal?”
Before Phil could reply the nasty spider crept up behind the boss. Phil’s eyes gave it away.
The boss squirmed in his seat. “It’s right behind me, isn’t it?
Phil nodded.
The boss gulped. “Tell my wife I loved her. And that I was gay. And so didn’t really love her.”
Phil nodded.
The boss nodded.
The spider didn’t understand, but it nodded too. Seemed like the thing to do.