joanna strafford

And those who have treated you bad in the past, don’t want to hear how strong  you are now after everything they put you through. Putting you down or treating you second was not an act of theirs to make you stronger. But you will always show them that life is about experiences and experiences make you who you are today. And karma is the result of what you put back in the world, so make it count and make it right. And strength comes from your ability to let go and move on to a place where happiness and love can be shared with people that appreciate your time and your value your journey.
The more you keep on just living your own life, the more you will keep on proving them wrong.

Joanna Strafford 

I don’t use people’s faults or flaws against them to win an argument, because they are not mine to use. Only thieves take things that don’t belong to them. But I do give the truth and that’s worth more than anything in the world. So listen to it. Understand it. And learn from it.

Joanna Strafford

Just because a person claims that they are a good person doesn’t get them off the hook when they do bad things. In the end they should be held just as accountable for their behavior as anyone else would. Real people will always fess up to everything they’ve done wrong, make it up to people they unintentionally hurt in the past and not filter their behavior with excuses. If you are good person, you would  make a consistent effort to do the right thing no matter what it takes, no matter the cost.
—  Joanna Strafford
A transformation or metamorphosis is a personal journey: It has nothing to do with what they want, or he wants or she wants or what society wants for us. It has to do with what WE want and what WE need. Our changes will happen whether they agree on those changes or choices or ideas.
A metamorphosis cannot be stopped, just as a caterpillar cannot be stopped from growing into a butterfly.  No one can stop you from being the person you are meant to be. Your life is your life, so always allow your change or metamorphosis be a personal one.

Joanna Strafford 

Sometimes the only way to get through to certain people is to give them a dose of their own medicine. In the end it doesn’t always make it right, but unfortunately that is the only way to teach people who are accustomed to old methods. 

And those that judge or pick apart other’s weaknesses or flaws are most likely hiding something they are afraid to expose of themselves. 

In the end the best advice I ever received from my father was to always look at where any negative criticism is coming from to understand why people do or say the things they do.  

They will never learn the importance of their own lessons that God or life or their experiences tried to teach them. Don’t let them stop you from learning your own.

—  Joanna Strafford
I know some people will “say that you can’t change someone who doesn’t see an issue within their actions.” But if those people are still effected by everything you have to say, somewhere deep down inside they realize that their actions are wrong, they are just too stubborn to admit when they are and are too much of a coward to change them.
—  Joanna Strafford, Tangled

A friend told me the other day that : “One part of putting yourself out there is the fact that people have the choice whether or not to accept your perspective, reject it, or attack you. You are very positive. Some people don’t like those with faith in something that have no faith in themselves.”

But I know eventually these people have to realize that they are in control of their own destiny, future and life and by sitting back and complaining what other people in life are doing will just keep on lessening the chances or the opportunities for them to get what they want in life.

You have the ability to live the life you want to live each and every day you wake up. Don’t deny other people their chances because you refuse to see the merit in your own.


Joanna Strafford

Things are not as complicated as people tend to make them out to be. But I guess the easier something is to understand, the harder it is for certain people to accept it. Because acceptance for some people is the same as admitting when they are wrong. And they can’t have that.
So they’ll  make things out to be something it is not or invent situations to bitch about. Rumors are started by the same people who make simple situations into complicated ones. Simplicity is simple. I wish more people knew how to use it. I wish more people learned to accept other people for who they are instead of finding reasons why they shouldn’t. Learn to burn your ego and realize that pointing out the fault of others in the end is the biggest fault of your own. Try to take time to improve yourself.
—  Joanna Strafford 
Those who are invested in you for the wrong reasons won’t give you room to be who you are meant to be without suffocating you with their own expectations or with the expectations of others.  Most people who expect an award for teaching you to let go have refused to learn their own life lessons. And we end up trusting the wrong people or expect too much from a friend who was only willing to give so little. But that’s a lesson that we give to ourselves. In the end not everyone is worth the time or the effort we bestow onto them. But we learn to let go to make room for things that are better.
—  Joanna Strafford
It’s  better to ignore something that makes you jealous then to pretend to be happy for the person you keep on pretending for. It’s a song and a dance that you should have given up on trying to learn, because the moves are all wrong. Stop pretending to be something you are not, stop creating lies to foreshadow the truth of your insecurities. Not everything is about you. Work hard for your own achievements; Give yourself something to believe in, but don't stand in the light of those who are just trying to succeed. Create your own light. Create your own opportunities.
—  Joanna Strafford
Yes, it’s hard to forgive certain friends who have the habit of making the same mistake of hurting you. No matter how many times they’ll say they’ve changed or even somehow proved it, you just don’t trust them enough to give them a complete second chance or how many chances you have left to give. It is not because you are mortally wounded and it will never heal. It’s because you just don’t have the time.  Yeah, that’s right. It’s sad to admit but sometimes life get’s just too short to care or to be inconvenienced.

Joanna Strafford

Lessons, Change and moving on

Sometimes I wonder how come certain people haven’t learned their own lessons yet. It took me a long enough time to realize that they are either too stubborn to learn those lessons for themselves or are are just too invested in the lessons of others and whether they finally moved on from a past they know nothing about. 

You can’t give a heart to the heartless, you cannot give a lesson to someone who refuses to learn the value of it. You can’t make people believe when they are closed off to the truth. You cannot make a person appreciate others when they struggle or are without the capacity to understand people who are different. And most people who come into your life don’t purposely want to hurt you or let you down, it just happens. In the end they wouldn’t feel honored for teaching you how to let go or would expect an award for those lessons they feel they needed to teach you. 

Those who are invested in you for the wrong reasons won’t give you room to be who you are meant to be without suffocating you with their own expectations or with the expectations of others.  Most people who expect an award for teaching you to let go have have refused to learn their own life lessons. And we end up trusting the wrong people or expect too much from a friend who was only willing to give so little. But that’s a lesson that we give to ourselves. In the end not everyone is worth the time or the effort we bestow onto them. But we learn to let go to make room for things that are better.

Change only works through effort. Actions are necessary to make changes. Saying you are a good person is not the same as being a good person. But actions will prove it whether people want to believe or acknowledge it or not. In the end you will prove what you need to prove; no time wasted. 

Sometimes it takes a change to make a change. And I know that I am in a better place because of it. When you finally get the chance to truly walk away from a negative or toxic situation it, new doors will open. I am very receptive to things or situations that I have outgrown or since then has become too toxic for me to be around. In the end life has always given me a chance to make something of myself and throughout the setbacks or obstacles it has not made me bitter. And that’s the most important thing. I will always give the good fight right up till the end.

Remember, the more you spend trying to tell people how many doors of theirs are unlocked, you’ll over see the many doors you haven’t tried to open or chapters you haven’t closed in your own book. Remember, when you move on, your past is where it needs to be to remind you how far you’ve come not how far you still need to go. 

Pretty words may not always be true, they just read really well on paper. But fiction is made so you can write the truth without offending the people who need most things to be sugarcoated so it won’t disturb the illusions they’ve created to live in. 

The best you can do for anyone is to give them the space to be who they need to be, and to let them follow the dreams they were destined to catch. Life is hard enough when people decide to remain cold and un-enchanted with the possibility of positive change. You may carry the idea of harsh reality or unaffected truths but you don’t need to affect the world with it. The universe is still a big enough place to allow each person their own dreams and realities, so try not to over crowd it.

Thoughts are everything. The starting point and ending point of everything good and bad. Remember, you are in control. So make the best of your thoughts now.

Remember your dreams are valid; don’t make anyone feel they have the right to keep you from soaring too high into the sun.
It’s your flight, if they were so concerned about you getting burned they would have giving you sun block before you ventured out into the unknown. Only insecure people will try to clip your wings, before you even had the chance to know how far you could fly.
—  Joanna Strafford
Open-mindedness needs to stand behind every thought, every action and every conscious effort for change to grow into something better. With this, you will able to change with your surroundings without losing your values or what stands important to you. You will be able to welcome new experiences and understand different approaches to life. You will face challenges or obstacles without self-doubt being the one thing to stand in your way and where risk will overcome the dark clouds of fear. Your strength will blossom. You will have the chance to experience life to the fullest. And maybe life experiences are not what you ever planned them to be, but in the end you accepted those chances and made them your own. Remember this, remember this always. You have what it takes.
—  Joanna Strafford
The Law of Attraction, God and The Secret

A follower had messaged me the other day about what my thoughts were on the ‘Law of Attraction,’ and I decided to write them down here in a text. :) Thanks The-Bliss-of-You-and-Me!

 Sometimes I think of love as a magnetic force. You meet someone and you instantly feel an attraction, like a magnet sticking to metal or a fridge. But then sometimes you meet someone that instantly repels you, (like when you take two magnets and make them touch) and there is this force that is preventing them to interact.)

One thing I always thought would be an interesting topic or story would be if science was able to harness love in a way where it controls who you are supposed to be with. If the term ‘opposites attract’ is against what God wants or  what Science represents – it could make it where we feel an attraction of someone but we cannot physically touch them, like two magnets not being able to meet and are forced apart. It would make basis of a great story or a very, very sad romance.

I think I’ve always struggled with the topic in general, because each of my experiences were completely different than the other, but it also showed me how unpredictable love can truly be. I always found when the opposites attract it is because the other person has something they need, a lesson, a different perspective or outlook that would be beneficial on their journey. Sometimes those people find that they can work through the differences and have long lasting relationships, others find it cannot work no matter how hard they tried to make it work but found that their happiness was meant to be somewhere else.

And then there are a large handful that aren’t willing to put in the effort to try or understand anyone that thinks differently and uses the “law of attraction,” as a set rule for life but it can become toxic in the end.

When one of my best guy friends past away this year, I really was able to see how important of a person he was in my life and I appreciated the memories and the lessons he brought to me. I realize that he was meant to be apart of my life for a reason. It was hard because the two of us had feelings for each other for a long time and when it didn’t work out, we both took it hard and would constantly think about what if things could be different? Others would say it just wasn’t meant to be but I think that in some way it was, maybe not in a physical form but a spiritual form. Love is about giving our ‘loved ones,’ complete freedom, even if that is freedom to walk a journey that is different than ours.

I learned a lot about who truly was there for me as a friend and I use them as a comparison when I am found sifting through toxic people that offer me nothing positive in the forms of love or friendship. Every day I am learning something new and everyday I am grateful for the handful of people I can count on.

I am equally grateful that science doesn’t play a part in who we choose to be with. I think God realizes that we must make mistakes in order to learn the value of a lesson or the value of true love. So when I think of free will, I think that has a lot to do with the unpredictability of physical and emotional love and life in general.

In the end, I think both life and love aren’t meant to be fully understood. We just need to experience it to grow, become stronger and move on to bigger and better things in our lives.

The truth is that science really cannot determine what is meant to be in our lives, just like religion doesn’t have the ability. It doesn’t have control of how unpredictable it is. Science can explain why we need gravity, but it doesn’t have the answer to why we fall in love and why love can hurt us. But it is not meant to be understood in a way that could be read in a text book. This is the power of free will. We are free to choose things for our life whether it with love, our likes, our hobbies, or the path we want to travel down. God may try to set things up to work out a certain way but because of the way life is on earth, not everything works out exactly the way it should. We fall in love with the wrong people every day. We spend years with someone only to learn that our journey was not meant to be with them.

People spend thousands of dollars on weddings and even thousand more on divorces. How do we know when we find the right one? We don’t. But some people will try to convince themselves that they did, only to be disappointed when they realize that love is unpredictable and cannot always work out the way we want it to. In the end we are all in the same boat all struggling with ideas, concepts and what society wants for us. We all struggle with acceptance, fitting in and being our own person. But in the end we all learn how precious life truly is. And love cannot be explained with wedding rings, a marriage license or expressed with flowers, money, or gifts. Love is not a thing, just like the law of attraction isn’t a thing. It is an idea or concept that we create to fulfill our lives and to find happiness. Love cannot be controlled, understood or harnessed. It has to be set free. Love cannot save us. It can only teach us the value of friendship and how to appreciate people for who they are.

A friend just asked me, “But do you believe that our thoughts and feelings attract events into our life?

Yes, I do believe we have more control over situations in our lives than we give our selves credit for. We attract what we give out. If you center on being positive, helping others and making an effort to understand them, you will find more things working out in a way you want it to, and find people willing to do the same. (Maybe it is a reward for being open minded or it is how karma works, or it’s both.) I also believe we have the ability to create positive outcomes out of negative situations.

Maybe it is like that quote by Rhonda Byrne, The Secret:

“Thoughts are magnetic, and thoughts have a frequency. As you think thoughts, they are sent out into the Universe, and they magnetically attract all like things that are on the same frequency. Everything sent out returns to the source - you.” 

Maybe that’s what the secret is all about. The secret is that you have the ability to control what happens in your life. You have the ability to pick and choose what to let go of and what to keep. Your thoughts are apart of you, just as the universe is apart of you. Just like God resides there watching over our lives, and hoping for the best - we are hoping for the best outcomes for our own lives. They are only there to guide us, cheer us on, rejoice with our accomplishments and sympathize with our struggles, pain and disappointments.

An atheist might state they believe in nothing and have their reasons. The truth is I believe in everything.  And one may ask how is that even possible?

I would explain that I think everyone is our teacher. Meaning – I don’t discredit any religion – but I value everyone’s views, understand that it’s there for a reason - To teach us, to guide us, to explain things. But it is up to us to decide what to do with what we are taught. But the truth is no matter whichever teacher is there, whether it is Jesus, Buddha, or Mohammed - is it is all up to us to walk our own journeys (alone) to make mistakes and learn from them. Every teacher in our lives has something valuable we need to learn, to grow and walk our journeys.

And that is how we can co-exist with one another. We take the time to understand, appreciate and offer our input in a way that doesn’t devalue their beliefs, customs and life. 

In the end I believe we can use both religion, science and the universe to explain most things but everything else is up to us to discover for ourselves.