Misha had already disappeared beneath the blankets and had his lips pressed inches from his real destination when Jensen blurted it out.
He said it as though it broke through his teeth without permission. Misha paused for a brief moment, just long enough to finish the thigh kiss he was in the middle of, before shifting to move up the mattress.
“Knew you had something on your mind when you weren’t responding to my magic touch. That’s never happened,” the older man says on his way out from under the covers. The words are muffled and labored. His terrible bedhead emerged from under the sheets first, then his wide blue eyes and at last his giant, bright-white grin.
“Guess. Boy or girl?” he asked immediately, draping his naked body over Jensen’s and perching his elbows on his bare chest, gazing up at him. Excitement glinted in Misha’s eyes, a rare display of his true emotion.
“Twins? Holy fuck, Jen…” Misha didn’t even try to hide his genuine amazement now. “I mean, it’s you. I’m not surprised that you managed to go above and beyond even in conceiving a child. But…” It was quiet. Too quiet for a minute. Jensen could barely stand it. Then finally the other actor broke it. “I’m a little hurt that she’s this far along and you hadn’t… told me yet.”
Misha’s being honest. Very raw – more than he’s used to being. It’s a new thing they were supposed to be trying out since they and their wives had discussed the whole polyamorous deal between them last year. Jensen had (obviously) not done the truthfulness part so well in this instance, but the two-way relationship had been working out seamlessly.
And that’s why Jensen had been afraid to let Misha in on this huge secret. It could change things. He never wanted to keep anything from him. Shit, he wanted to tell Misha every little thing just because he was always ten times more interested than Jensen was and most of the time it didn’t even effect him.
Jensen just loved him so fucking much. He always had — from the moment they met to the moment they started getting together to the moment they decided to tell their wives about them and right up until now. Jensen Ackles loved Misha Collins more than he could ever explain.
That’s why the excitement on Misha’s face stung. He was scared to hurt him. “It was an accident, Mish,” he admitted lowly. “We weren’t planning on more kids. I barely see JJ enough as it is. When Danneel told me, I was worried but not sick over it. I love kids. But when she told me it was twins? Misha… I’m not a good enough dad for this. I’m thirty-eight. My job – I just. And you – I know this must be hard for you. And I’ll –”
Jensen was effectively silenced with a kiss. When he could breathe and focus again he could see Misha was sitting up in the dark. The lamp on the nightstand suddenly illuminated the room, the base of it in the shape of a deck of cards. Supernatural: A Salute to Las Vegas was always where he and Misha stayed for a couple of days together. There and JIBCon, those were their special places. Now Jensen was afraid he’d just ruined one.
“Don’t you ever say that again, Ackles,” Misha chastised and shoved his shoulder, his facial features truly angry now. “You are such a great father, Jensen. You love her with more than your whole heart, and you will do the same for the twins. Time… scheduling… you can make it work. And I’m so happy for you.”
The silence came back. Jensen stared at Misha as if he didn’t believe him. That was always the younger actor’s downfall: he didn’t have enough confidence in himself. But Misha always made a point to remind him that he should have all the confidence in the world.
“We made this agreement because we love each other. We loved each other so long and so much — enough that our wives, who we also love, could see that and wouldn’t ever want us to be apart. You think that adding more to this giant family is a bad thing?” Misha grinned and nudged his boyfriend, scooting down to his level to lean his head on his shoulder. “…well, then you’re wrong, buddy. It’s just more to love. And I can’t wait to be a Sort-Of-Step-Dad to two more Ackles kids. A brand new adventure on my part. You know how I love new adventures.”
For a minute, Jensen was convinced Misha was just talking out of his ass like always, but when he gave it some time to sink in then his heart swelled full. And… so did other things. Goddamnit, Misha and his way with words.
“You managed to get me to… ahem, ‘respond’,” he murmured, raising a brow down at his boyfriend.
Misha said nothing, only grinned and acted immediately, disappearing back the way he came from beneath the sheets. Right back to their constant, their normal, the easy love between them. Every kiss just felt right and — aaaah, what the fuck?! “Misha! Teeth!”
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” the older man laughed, popping his head back out of the sheets. “I was laughing because… because… twin.. Ackles.. Twin Ackles. I’m calling them Twinkles!”
Jensen didn’t even hesitate to pick up the pillow next to him and use it to pummel his dumb, perfect boyfriend right in the side of the head.
They both had to get ready for double more kiddie pillow fights, after all.
The first time
Jensen went over to Misha’s house in LA was mid-summer—after a long, exhausting
fourth season had finally wrapped. Jensen had to admit, he was a little weary
about going over to his co-star’s place. They hadn’t known each other for very
long, even though it felt like they had. It was one of those friendships that seemed
old and comfortable right from the start, and Jensen loved that—but it was also a friendship that never strayed too far
from set. Misha wasn’t usually in LA the same times that he was, and any free
time they had during filming was almost always
spent with their respective families. Plus, the guy was always flying off—doing
some crazy thing in god-knows-where; which
made pinning him down very difficult;
and Jensen was never certain of where Misha would answer from when he called
him … but chances were, it wasn’t nearby, and they couldn’t just go out and
grab a bite, even if they both wanted to. Which is why it took nearly a year
for Jensen to finally see Misha’s house—and also why Jensen was so nervous
What if this was one of those friendships that only really worked in
the right place? Like those people who acted all friendly at school, but as
soon as they were out in the real world,
everything got weird. Jensen didn’t want it to be like that with him and Misha—it
would actually hurt if that’s how it
turned out to be … and each step he took up Misha’s walkway made Jensen’s heart
pound all the more. He finally composed himself, putting on his best smile even
before knocking on the door—a little
acting trick he learned over the years: start
playing the part long before the cameras begin rolling. He barely got
another knock in before the door flew open. Vicki was on the other side, nose
plastered in a spiral-bound notebook, not even looking up as she waved Jensen
“Oh … h-hey, Vicki” he began, a little
put off by the fact that eye contact hadn’t
even been made yet. “How have you been?”
… working” she mumbled, blindly
shutting the door behind them before pulling a pen from her frizzy pinned back
hair and scribbling something else amongst the scrawl already in the notebook.
“Oh, sorry to
interrupt … is—is Misha around?” Jensen watched as the woman continued to
write, still not making any attempt to lift her head. She always struck him as
a little strange—not in a bad way, just in that unique way … much like Misha did at first. So this wasn’t too
unexpected, really. God, he thought, those two were made for each other.
“It’s fine” she
finally said, sticking the pen back in her hair and re-reading over what she
just wrote. “He’s out back, doing …” for the first time in almost two minutes,
Vicki looked up. “I honestly have no clue
what he said he was doing—hopefully nothing stupid.”
quickly feeling a laugh jiggle up his throat. “It probably is.”
smile was warm and loving. “Probably.
Feel free to go out there and make fun of him for it.”
“How about I make
fun of him enough for both of us?” Jensen asked, giving the tall woman a saucy
quickly reaching down and swatting Jensen’s hip with her notebook. “I knew I
liked you” she chirped, sauntering away with a laugh, grin slowly falling as
she falls back into her work.
Jensen chuckled a
little more before turning towards what he assumed was the back of the house—realizing
a little late that he maybe should have asked Vicki for directions to where “out
back” was. He knew Misha built this
place himself, which—looking at it now, was all the more impressive. It was not
some box with holes cut in it—it was actually a house. It had halls and unique little nooks, and intriguing
details that were probably maddening at the time. Jensen wouldn’t be surprised
if his friend put in a trap door or two, just because he could. It was pretty damn amazing overall … which made finding
the backyard even harder. Jensen took a couple wrong turns before he finally
got there, finding the guest bathroom and some storage closest along the way. Finally,
he stumbled upon a side bar that had a sliding door on the far end that
obviously led outside. Through the glass, Jensen caught a glimpse of an arm
that he can only assume was Misha’s, or
else—they have another house guest Jensen wasn’t aware of. His nerves
suddenly spiked—he would feel even more uneasy if there was someone else here.
He didn’t want to have to play nice with someone new while he was still trying
to get to know the non-work side of Misha. With another deep breath, he moved
towards the door—letting it out soft and heavy once he saw that it was in fact Misha on the other side … but
the escaping air caught quickly with the sight of his friend’s bare back.
skin hugged muscle and bone—shifting and rippling like sand in a thinning tide.
The back and forth of Misha’s arms as he chiseled down a piece of wood made
every inch of his arm harden in a slew of sinew and rock. Sweat pilled on the
curve of his shoulders and Jensen just stared hopelessly as one little drop ran
down Misha’s side, finally hitting the line of his baggy cargo pants—they sag
so far that Jensen could easily see the beginning mound of Misha’s ass—as well
as the fact that the guy has no tan
line there. What the fuck does that
mean? He must have been thinking about it for a while because he only came to
when he heard a loud tap on the glass right in front of his face.
and dimples greeted him through the sheen and Jensen found himself grinning
even as all the questions still ran through his mind. Misha eventually took a
few steps back and gestured for him to come outside. Jensen damn near walked
into the door following the motion—thankfully realizing what he was about to do
before any real embarrassment could occur.
smile beamed even brighter when Jensen finally joined him outside. “Hey there,
stranger!” With open arms and no warning at all, Jensen found himself wrapped
in a sweaty, tanned, muscly hug … and it was blissful.
So there’s no real story behind this op except Gen was at jib and I got her autograph and MAN, I WISH DANNEEL AND VICKI COULD JOIN HER??? I walked up to them and just held up the sign, “Do you think you guys can just hold up the corners of this?” And they read it and Jensen immediately (and enthusiastically) said, “Absolutely!” Misha grinned a little and probably said something but I was still half asleep and distracted by Jensen. (Sorry Misha but I was distracted by you at chicon so it’s fair)
Also, they tried to pull me into the middle and I stepped to the side and said (for some ungodly reason), “No I’ll stand here. For internet purposes.” I caught Misha giving me A Look.
“Hey, J, have you seen the -” Misha stops in his tracks and blinks at the sight in front of him, “Oh.”
Jensen’s asleep on the couch with West, Maison and JJ asleep on top of him.
Ridiculously enough, his first thought is “how are they all fitting on there without falling off, Jensen isn’t even that broad???”
His second thought is stunned silence with his heart skipping a solid three beats.
Sometimes, like right now, Misha is struck dumb with the realization of how fucking much he loves this idiot and how lucky he is. This is apparently one of those moments because his heart feels like it’s going to explode out of his chest and he doesn’t even need a mirror to know that he’s smiling like a moron.
Danneel slides up next to him with a knowing smile on her face, “They’re pretty cute, huh?”
Misha grins, ducking his head for a moment, “Yeah.”
“They passed out about thirty minutes ago,” she informs him, bumping their hips together. “You okay? You look a little shellshocked.”
“Yeah,” he huffs a laugh and turns to smile at her, this beautiful, smart, witty, incredible woman that he gets to share his life with too, “I’m okay. I’m -” Misha rubs a hand over his mouth, trying to cover the ridiculous, eye-crinkling grin he’s wearing, “I’m pretty fucking great, actually.”
Danneel smiles softly and leans over, pressing a kiss to his cheek, “That’s true.”
She pulls back after a moment, nudging her head towards the kitchen, “Vicki and me made cookies. You want to come help us ice them for when the kids wake up?”
“Sure,” Misha smiles and looks over at the sofa again, “Just… let me take a picture of this.”
Danneel laughs as brightly as she can without waking anyone up, “You can add them to the 300 we took earlier.”
Misha just grins and creeps over quietly, taking as many pictures as he can - he’s sappy, okay? Sue him. This is easily one of the cutest things he’s ever seen.
He presses a kiss to each of their foreheads when he’s satisfied and Jensen blinks his eyes open sleepily, “Mish…?”
Misha smiles softly and brushes a hand through his hair, “Hey… go back to sleep.” Jensen makes a sleepy noise and lets his eyes close again, a total sucker for Misha’s hands in his hair. It doesn’t take that long for him to fall back to sleep.
Vicki wraps her arms around Misha from behind as he pulls out his phone and composes a tweet. She chuckles against his shoulder, pressing a gentle kiss there, “He’s going to kill you, you know that, right?”
He just shrugs a little bit, still smiling dumbly at his phone, “Worth it.”
The tweet is a picture of the four of them passed out with the light from the window behind them. Misha just adds, “Happy Sunday #feelinglucky”
At the very least, Jensen will appreciate the hashtag.
God I just can't get over it that it's a fact that Jensen sometimes makes Misha do accents for him. Like, can you imagine Misha doing a little standup, telling his stupid little jokes and doing a bad accent while Jensen watches and laughs? Even if cockles aren't together, this is really cute and really special.
same, dude!!! I just love the way misha was like “ugh” about it and he tries to play it off like it only happens sometimes BUT THAT “UGH” HE UGH’S LIKE JENSEN DOES THIS ALL THE TIME
when they’re on set, getting lunch from craft services, chatting with a guest star casually: “you wanna hear something really funny? DMITRI, C’MERE, BRING IT OUT.”
at dinner with coworkers or network executives: “you know, dmitri over here, he’s got this really great bit he does. yeah, mish, show ‘em.”
when they’re home with vicki and danneel and the kids, and they’re just hanging out, jensen does his impression of indiarussia “do you know who you are talking to? I am the king - no, not that king, the other king - of indiarussia!” and the kids won’t stop laughing and he’s like pretending to be indignant because of it and he looks up at misha “DMITRI, MY FELLOW KING, SHOW THESE CHILDREN THAT WE ARE THEIR KINGS!”
and every single time misha sighs like it’s the biggest annoyance in the world and he gives jensen that look like “ugh I fucking hate you, you nerd, it’s not even that funny jfc” but he still does it and he tries very valiantly to look grumpy about it but when jensen throws his head back and does that thing where he laughs with his whole body he just lIGHTS UP AND GOES ALL IN
what I really love about the cockles fandom is that we love their wives and kids and we dont think theyre faking their relationship, we just know what they love them and they also love each other and thats the sweetest thing ever
As a wife in an 18 year long, happy, polyamorous marriage, I find the erasure and lack of acceptance of polyamory disheartening.
It’s like being told I’m not bisexual just because I married a man and had three children…
Vicki Vantoch is a hero, a super brave woman who wore her heart on her sleeve to come out to the world and say “I am not a deviant. I am a person. I am a wife who loves my husband just as much as you love yours.”
I’m tired of seeing fictional characters in love triangles lying to themselves. Tired of seeing them berate themselves for being attracted to more than one person. Tired of reading about their inner turmoil, trying to figure out who they “really love” because they obviously can’t love more than one person at a time.
I need representation, folks! I need to see myself in books and movies and TV and real life.
Vicki Vantoch gives it to me, but she’s barely even a public figure.
Don’t steal this from me. Let me have this. Maybe with time, we’ll grow wiser.
My aunt: *sees background* Who are the two gay guys?
Me: They’re not gay, they’re married.
My aunt: To who? Each other?
Me: *dying inside* No, they both have wives.
My aunt: That doesn’t mean shit.
Me: *actually dies*