jk i have no idea what those two words actually mean

watch me (m)

↳ Dodging Jungkook’s annoying horny texts was easy but what happens when another boy accidentally joins in on the fun?

genre: smut + a bit of fluff at the end, fuckboy!au

pairing: jungkook | reader | taehyung

word count: 7,633

a/n: I meshed Play & Play 2.0 together and added a few things. Before I get asked, yes there will another part to this.


Your ringtone kept blasting in your ear as you tried to sleep before a big presentation. You groaned, cursing yourself for not turning off the volume as you reached for the glowing device knowing exactly who it was. You denied the call thinking,”Why is he so fucking desperate?” You began closing your eyes again until a loud ding woke you up again.

JK (1:57 AM): Why didn’t you answer babe? I want to talk to you :(

You rolled your eyes and turned off your phone, getting back to your much needed sleep.

It was almost a routine with Jungkook, calling you at 2 in the morning expecting you to be down for some sexting. That boy didn’t know when to quit and you should have already blocked his number considering he’s been like this for 4 months straight. But you’ll be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t like the attention he was giving you.

Not that you were the only girl, of course, because being the all-star soccer player he had half the school population begging for him. Hell not just him but the rest of the soccer team and you weren’t one to judge because your eyes would wander over to their table every once in awhile just like the rest of them.

Keep reading

Watch Me Babygirl [pt.12]

Summary: Jungkook is your brother’s annoying best friend. You can’t stand him but he just can’t resist teasing you. How far will he actually go?

Warnings: language, smut (blowjob)

[pt.1] [pt.2] [pt.3] [pt.4] [pt.5] [pt.6] [pt.7] [pt.8] [pt.9] [pt.10] [previous part]


jk: why couldn’t we have the same off block?

you: idk jungkook

you: now stop texting me while i’m in class i don’t wanna get in trouble

You locked your phone and slid it back underneath the binder on your desk. Jungkook was being a real pain in the ass today and you had no idea why. He’d been texting you nonstop all day. It wasn’t like you didn’t enjoy talking to him, because you did, it’s just that you didn’t want to fail your classes. You really needed to pay attention to pass them and Jungkook texting you every second wasn’t conducive to you passing them in the slightest.

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MM PARALLEL WORLD AU

So I know most people are confused with my AU. Honestly I just wanted to make it simple AU but where is the fun in it~ 

In this thread, I will only cover the relationship between the two MCs and Saeran/Saeyoung that was based on my recent mini comic and not the other RFA members (yet). By the way I will call Seven as Saeyoung and Unknown as Saeran.

To make it less confusing I will call, Saeran’s wife as MC A and Saeyoung’s wife ac MC B

http://hachiimi.tumblr.com/post/152908848145/well-someone-once-reminds-me-that-saeyoung-wanted

In this AU, MC A and MC B is not related by blood (but maybe still knowing each other) since I’m still focusing the MC as you guys. The reason they have similarities in their design except for hairstyle is because I want to keep the first default MC design.

MC A

MC B (default MC design)


SPOILER ALERT. READ MORE IF YOU’RE IN NEED OF EXPLANATION!!

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17. PORTUGAL

Salvador Sobral - “Amar Pelos Dois”
Winner

Oh snap! “How dare you boot Salvador this early, you monster!!” um i think he’s just fine, chill out?

I used to be fully on board the Salvador Speedboat, but sadly, he tarnished himself in my eyes by delivering one of the most self-serving, pompous winner speeches ever. “MUSIC ISN’T FIREWORKS, MUSIC IS EMOTION, THIS IS A VICTORY FOR ALL MUSIC” is a pretty rich statement coming from someone who was a blatant camera-mugger,

a provocateur pur sang,

and just in general took the mickey at this contest;

Like, all of the above moments are AWESOME but please do not insult our intelligence by pretending as if these didn’t definitely, DEFINITELY aid you in achieving that landslide win. Yes, Salvador, TELL us more about how you saved the face of Real Music [citation needed] or invented jazz, BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T YOU BLOWHARD TWAT :@

(but thanks for calling out the Demys and Robsaiahs anyway because god was it necessary).

Fortunately though, in spite of all the self-righteous hypocrisy, i’m mostly here for Salvador’s journey as it truly fascinates me.  Yeah, sure, I just YELLED at the man but I actually respect his role as enfant terrible quite a bit and even if you dislike “Amar Pelos Dois”, I feel like you should too.

How DOES one transform a hipster, extremely non-conformist entry such as “Amar Pelos Dois” into the most universally beloved Eurovision song of this decade exactly?

Well, children, it’s time to delve DEEPLY into how this contest truly fuctions and how Portugal managed to exploit one of the biggest, but most overlooked Eurovision loopholes.

I hope you’re ready because this write-up will be LONG.

To truly understand why Salvador won, we must first understand what he represents. Ask any casual eurofan what they think of Salvador and chances are they’re going to answer with finding him “genuine and heartfelt” if they’re a fan and “a con artist” if they’re not. Both ideas seem mutually exclusive but are in fact the two halves of the whole. The Yin and the Yang, if you will.

You see, Salvador’s entire mantra was indeed that he was “genuine” and free of all the frolics the other entries dabbled in. His act was just the song, bare and plain. By presenting “Amar Pelos Dois” intimately and keeping the tics to a minimum, Salvador managed to cast a mind-controlling spell over all of Europe, dismantling the language barrier and taking it home for Portugal.

The lusophone liberator

There is however a strong element of crafty subterfuge involved and no, I’m not talking about the tics. Salvador is a jazz singer and Jazz singers are weird by default; they have honky voices (evidenced by other ESC alumni who sang jazz in their early musical carreers, such as Jamala and Jana Burceska) and often improvize. Jazz Improv is virtually unheard of in our Eurovision bubble, but it’s a common performance method within the jazz circuit. This is why Salvador mimes, switches his voice’s pitch around, plays an air violin. It’s all part of the heat of the moment. There’s nothing overtly fake about this at all.

HOWEVER, by deliberately presenting yourself as guileless and then using seemingly gimmickless emotion AS YOUR MAIN STRATAGEM… that, my friends, is an A+ example of artifice. Salvador is not phony in SPITE of the emotion, but BECAUSE of it.

Naturally, this exploits a huge flaw within the system and not the one about “fastfood & borrowed music” (though that one should be addressed too imo). Why did “Amar Pelos Dois” win? Because of the song? Paradoxically, I don’t think the song itself  ever mattered. “Amar Pelos Dois” didn’t win because of *what* it is, but because of what it *is*.

In other words, Eurovision is evolving into something bigger than just a song contest. Songs aren’t by themselves winning anymore, despite Salvador’s victory signalling otherwise..Instead, concepts win and the country which executes an attractive concept the BEST during those three minutes, takes it home.

Ergo, “Real Music” won  in Eurovision 2017 but not in the way Salvador claims it did. He won because he successfully MARKETED his song as “real music” so everyone believed him and voted for him, juror and televoter alike.

What about other years? If we count back to the past three years, did ANY of Conchita, Mans or Jamala win because of their song… or because of what their songs represented at the time?

This may sound bleak, but I actually don’t think it’s bad. It means that yes, a bad song could theoretically win for what it represents. However, in practice we find that a good performance IS key because without one you can’t ever sell it properly.  All of this actually makes me love “Amar Pelos Dois” more than I normally would have because this is the VERY first time I felt a country acknowledges this tactic and deliberately uses it to win. and It’s Portugal, OF ALL COUNTRIES.

I love how a bullied, unfairly maligned country like Portugal managed to troll all of Europe without them realizing it. <3

I love how Salvador spent every day in Kyiv mocking the SHIT out of the contest and was rewarded for it <3

I love how they -through sheer lack of gimmicks- managed to produce the gimmickest winner this contest has ever seen. <3

I love how they produced the biggest blowout winner this contest has seen since the early 80s. <3

I also love the woman, the legend, the CHIN that is Salvador’s sister Luisa, who owns one of my fave singing voices this year and got to share the limelight with Salvador during the winner’s reprisal, as she very much deserved!!

Finally, I love how this year has ended as a huge Portugese middlefinger against Europe for screwing them over for years and years and motherfucking YEARS and then managed to figure out the EXACT way to circumvent the language barrier and slay all opposition. It truly and finally establishes that any country is capable of winning. See you in Bern or Vilnius next year! (jk, it’ll probably be Saint Petersburg if the Only Returnees Win pattern keeps up. SAVE US, BOSNIA!!!)

Decade rank: 105/324



THE 2017 RANKING SO FAR:

-ADORE-
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

-LOVE-
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.

-LIKE-
16.
17. Portugal (105/324)
18. Croatia (115/324)
19. Austria (119/324)
20. France (138/324)
21. Poland (154/324)
22. Armenia (158/324)
23. Romania (164/324)

-OKAY-
24. Iceland (174/324)
25. Ukraine (190/324)
26. San Marino (203/324)
27. Albania (217/324)
28. Denmark (228/324)
29. Spain (237/324)
30. Cyprus (240/324)

-DISLIKE-
31. Germany (258/324)
32. Montenegro (263/324)
33. Sweden (270/324)
34. Serbia (275/324)
35. Australia (280/324)
36. Switzerland (286/324)
37. Czech Republic (288/324)
38. Malta (291/324)

-HATE-
39. Georgia (301/324)
40. Greece (303/324)
41. Slovenia (307/324)
42. Ireland (312/324)

anonymous asked:

Malfoy was a kid, socialized since birth by death eater parents, and grew up as his parents expected of him. Snape was not. He chose to be a wizard nazi.

You’re right - Snape was not socialized by a Death Eater family because, wait, he wasn’t socialized by anyone. He grew up alone, and he was probably beaten and resented and belittled on a daily basis, so, sure - that’s the ideal background for a good choice of who you want to be later in life. Abuse and neglect - the bedrock of free will, as I always say. And, yeah - I was talking more generally about the family, not Draco, because, like, you never see that kind of vitriol and righteous rage against Malfoy senior either, or Melania-like Narcissa, but it’s funny who we consider kids and who we want to be accountable at all times, right? Because sure, you could say Malfoy was just a kid, but didn’t Harry make precisely the same speech about Dumbledore? How Dumbledore had fallen in love with Grindelwald and gone along with his ideas to take over the world while Harry, Ron and Hermione, who were the exact same age, were off sleeping rough and fighting the literal Antichrist or something? And did you side with Hermione there? Did, like, anybody? Or even, you know, just a kid - every single week I see something about the Marauders, and how Snape was the creepiest creep to ever creep, because apparently we can forgive Draco ‘Best Hairstyle of the Year’ Malfoy for literally joining a death squad when he was fifteen and keeping his classmates in a cell so they could be killed by Voldemort and whatever else, but God forbid we had some compassion for 1970s!Snape, who’d grown up without any of Draco’s advantages - no chiseled profile, no money, no family name, no parents who gave a damn about him, no friends at all.

So, you know - I’m not defending Snape, exactly. If you follow my blog, you know I’m very clear on who Snape was, and there’s definitely no excuse for him terrifying his students and hating the hell out of Harry and refusing to even try and become a different person. He was a broken man, and his brand of broken made him a pretty awful person. But still - you can’t seriously deny that we are much less willing to criticize and hate villains when they’re good-looking and, if at all possible, members of the aristocracy. I’ve never heard a word against Loki, for instance, who single-handedly tried to destroy our planet twice and caused thousands of victims - I’m guessing the fact Tom Hiddleston is playing him counts for something? Same thing goes for Auror Graves, one of the most unsettling and disturbing characters in children movies ever, now the happy star of raunchy fanart with the (underage) kid he abused - because Colin Farrell, of course. And let’s not forget ‘He of the Tragic Past’ Erik Lehnsherr - I’m following several Cherik blogs myself and I’d probably give up a kidney for Michael Fassbender, so I don’t exactly have the moral ground here, but, again, I see more drooling than rational assessments where young!Magneto is concerned. And perhaps the funniest thing about all this is that it’s actually a theme in the Harry Potter books - that in The Chamber of Secrets, Snape is deliberately pitted against Lockhart so readers will take Lockhart’s side, mainly because, my God, look at him! - and then at the end the message is, Ha! Guess what! The ugly, oily teacher nobody can stand was actually innocent, and the Brad Pitt lookalike was ready to kill and maim three students just to get out on top.

So, yes - in the end, that’s what bugs me the most when I see this endless run of posts complaining about Snape - not only that he’s the only one they ever complain about, the only person held accountable in any way, but that so many people have apparently learned nothing from those books. The fact Harry named his son after both Snape and Dumbledore, two people who are deeply Problematic, was significant and moving and so, so beautiful. And instead of wondering what that means, and try to unpack that message, many are simply happy to bash Snape 24/7 (but not Dumbledore, never Dumbledore, despite the fact what Dumbledore did was, in a way, much worse than anything Snape could ever have done) and even complain JK Rowling disregarded Harry’s abuse at his hands or some shit. Like, uh?

And also: yes, Draco was a kid. He was also surrounded, day in and day out, by people and books he could have listened to - stuff that could have changed his mind, made him doubt his appalling beliefs (like, I don’t see much compassion on tumblr for teenagers who make memes for the alt right and hate on BLM and take part in KKK demonstrations, but maybe I don’t follow the right blogs?). He was scared and alone later in the books, sure, but he also preferred the option of killing another student rather than seeking asylum with Dumbledore. And also: he stood there and did nothing when people (a former teacher among them) were being tortured and killed in his family house; he barely reacted when Harry and the others were imprisoned in his dungeon and five minutes away from a messy death; he fought in the final battle - for the wrong bloody side. He snuck into the castle with the deliberate intent of killing Harry, and to the end, he never admitted he’d been wrong in any way, remember? After that Room of Requirement scene, he simply slumped against a wall, exhausted and unarmed and probably in shock, never offering a word of apology to anyone. So, whatever. Yes, he was a kid. He was also in a position to reconsider his life’s choices, much more so than Snape, who was also a kid when his destiny locked him in - and, unlike Draco, Snape was a dirty, badly dressed, unwanted working class kid and he grew up to be an unpleasant, angry, ugly adult and that’s why - despite his tragic past and the doomed love story thing and his wit and sarcasm and the fact he could actually fly - nobody gives a damn about him: because everybody is accountable, but some people are more accountable than others.

❝ I was thinking about what a lovely thing language is. We’re all writing using the same limited pool of letters and words, even, but no two people string them together in the same way. I often find myself reading a passage and thinking, dang, that’s beautiful or wow, how did they even think of that?! Foreignness will always carry with it a sense of wonder, I guess, but even so, that’s how I feel when I read all your words and stories, and take in a little piece of what you’ve crafted: amazed and inspired. A story can stand alone, but there’s also something intricately unique that emerges where they intersect. So without further ado, I have some thanking to do for those intersections:

I don’t know what this is exactly, I guess it’s a follow forever? My first one (and probably only) in my two to three years on-and-off with Sunmi (and who knows how many years since the beginning). It’s been three or so months since I changed Sunmi to Mi and went AU, and while I was wary at first, I’ve been so so incredibly happy writing and creating here. And that’s not an advertisement for everyone to go AU or whatnot! It’s just that, I know it’s only thanks to all you wonderful muns and your awesome muses, whether new or old, past, or elsewhere. So thank you, for your brilliant ideas and creative minds, for each of your ways with words, for teaching me a little something—no matter what it is, for friendships, for wanting to write with me and allowing your own muses’ stories to intersect with Mi’s. Before I ramble more, I’ll get to the specific thank you’s to those who have impacted me, but thank you all! Stay warm and healthy, I hope the new year ushers in new inspirations and stories for all of you in whatever shape or form—and new hopes; it’s what keeps us all going. (P.S. Don’t worry, I will not follow you to the toilet.)

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Is this Happening? Chapter 3

Is this Happening?

A Harry Styles Imagine Series

[masterlist]

Chapter 3: Table for two, please.

Your POV

Harry held my hand and guided me towards a black SUV, and opened the door for me.

“Don’t worry, this is my car. My manager insisted I was escorted.”

I slid in and he followed.

“Hey Sean, could you take us to Amsterdam and 80th? Please and thank you.” He said to his driver as he patted him on the shoulder.

“Sure thing Harry.” He nodded, “Good evening miss,” he greeted me then proceeded to drive.

After a few minutes, I couldn’t take the silence anymore.

“Okay seriously, how have you not been seen yet? That’s so crazy, this is New York! Aren’t you suppose to be in Europe?” I blurted. 

Oh god, word vomit.

Harry bursted out laughing, “So I see you’re a fan. And yes, I was there a couple days ago, but we were invited to be on David Letterman tomorrow, it was sort of last minute, so we weren’t going to publicize it until tomorrow.”

I blushed, “yet I’m shocked that no one in the entire New York City has recognized or seen any of you, especially at the airport.” 

“You’re going to jinx us.” He winked at me, “and well we tried to keep it as quiet as possible about coming to New York early cause we all wanted some down time, which I guess, rarely happens.”

I didn’t know what to say back, I obviously had no idea what he or the other guys encounter on a daily basis but I’m sure it could get stressful.

About half way to the restaurant, both of our phones were going off like crazy. Harry looked down at his phone then back up at me and smirked.

“Wow Y/N, someone just saw Zayn and Perrie at a restaurant. Zayn just texted me saying that they were bombarded with pap and fans .”

“Oh god, I’m sorry!” I covered my face, I felt so bad.

“I’m only joking, it’s not your fault. We can’t really hide. It was actually a miracle that no one knew we were here until now.” He sighed as he looked out the window.

“So do you think anyone will recognize you tonight? We don’t have to go to dinner if you aren’t up to dealing with the paparazzi…”

Harry turned back towards me immediately, “No. Y/N, I definitely want to go to dinner with you, it’s up to you. I don’t want YOU to be uncomfortable, if we’re discovered it’s going to be crazy.” He said as he took my hand in his.

I hesitated and looked down, I wasn’t sure if I wanted my picture taken and seen all across the internet, what would my parents think? My professors? The scholarship board? My head was saying one thing, but instead I looked back up at him and said, “I want to go. I’ll be okay.”

“Great!” Harry squeezed my hand, before he let go to text back Zayn and the other guys.

My phone went off again, so I took it out of my pocket. There were twitter notifications from Liam and Niall about being in New York, likes on instagram, Facebook notifications, and a text from Madeline.

Madeline: Did you decide to go see Harry? Niall just tweeted he’s in NYC!

Me: Yeah, he’s taking me to dinner… >.<
Madeline: WHAT?! NOW? WHERE?

Me: I don’t know, I just know it’s off Amsterdam and W 80th.
Madeline: SHUT UP. I can’t believe I’m stuck at my internship or else I would totally stalk you both ;P

Me: Don’t be creepy. EW. JK! :D 
Madeline: Okay have fun! See you at home tonight… or NOT ;D

I blushed then locked my phone and switched it to vibrate. I looked out the window and noticed that we were parking. 

Harry turned to me and asked, “Have you ever been to Oaxaca Taqueria?”

I shook my head, “I’ve heard of it, never been.”

“Great! I love tacos and I heard good reviews, never been either so I’m excited. Suppose to be like gourmet tacos!” Harry said as he switched beanies. I gave him a confused look and was about to ask until Sean opened the door for us and Harry climbed out. Harry walked around the other side of the car, opened my door and held his hand out for me, “Ready?”

Butterflies were definitely fluttering in my stomach right now, I was actually going to dinner with one of the most beloved guys in the world, whom I’ve had a crush on for years.

I took his hand and stepped out. 

I hope I don’t embarrass myself tonight.

“It’s just up there,” he pointed as we started walking.

Within a couple minutes, we both heard a girl scream, “Oh my god! Harry Styles!”

We both looked at each other with wide eyes, trying not to laugh and picked up our pace. Sean and another guy were following close behind us, making sure Harry was protected.

As we finally got into the restaurant, tons of girls were crowding outside taking pictures of Harry and I together, screaming and crying.

“Table for two, please.” Harry smiled at the hostess and she nearly fainted, she couldn’t even speak. I definitely knew how she felt. The manager came up from behind her and showed us to our table.

“Sorry about that,” He apologized.

“No worries!” Harry and I said at the same time. He looked at me and smiled.

Damn those green eyes made me feel things I have never felt before.

After we ordered our drinks and a few different tacos, Harry started the conversation, “I’m really sorry about all of this Y/N. I just really wanted to get to know you, and I know all of this is really crazy…so if you don’t want to see me after tonight, I completely understand.”

“What? No the pap and the fans aren’t what’s bothering me, I mean I’m definitely not use to it, and probably never will be, and it’s definitely not that I don’t want to see you again because I do…”

More word vomit, I had no idea where I was going.

“What’s on your mind?” He leaned in a bit.

“Why me? I mean there are literally hundreds of girls outside, and millions that would probably kill to be right here in my place.” I questioned.

“Because you’re different. I can’t exactly explain it and I’m not trying to sound cliche, but there’s something about you. I got this feeling inside when I saw you yesterday, so I just took a chance. Call me crazy.”

“You’re crazy,” I giggled, “but to be honest, I’m also a ‘Directioner.’” I admitted, “I may not be a super fan, but I am one.”

I covered half of my face, “I can’t believe I’m telling you this… but I follow you and the others on twitter, Instagram, facebook and been to a few concerts, own all four albums… I just feel like I should be honest.”

Harry raised his eyebrow, “Yet you couldn’t even recognize me when I sat right next to you,” He teased.

“Hey! In my defense I was really focused until I felt you staring!”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean too, you’re just really beautiful and if you don’t mind me saying this, Y/N, your eyes are really gorgeous.” He stammered.

Was THE Harry Styles nervous? Because of me? I melted, right there in front of him. I looked down and turned bright red. “Thank you…”

“No, thank you for best honest with me. I appreciate it. Sometimes we can’t tell if people actual like us because we are One Direction or because they genuinely like us.”

Dinner was then brought out and we both ate, talked and laughed. Harry was just like he was at concerts and interviews: charming, kind and really funny. He loved to joke around, which I did too and he actually made me laugh… a lot. We both got to know each other throughout dinner and there was never a quiet moment, it was surreal. I felt like we were the only two people in the restaurant after our conversation picked up.

He also told me about his life before One Direction and his life now. We shared our likes, dislikes, hobbies, favorite things, etc. We talked about our families, I told him about school, and my job tutoring kids. Surprisingly, we had a lot of things in common but also interests that were complete opposites of each other.

Two hours passed, the crowd outside was still there, so we had to leave through the back. Harry offered to take me home and wouldn’t take no for an answer.

We pulled up to my building and waited to see if anyone followed, luckily no one did. He wanted to walk me up, not caring if he was going to be recognized.

“Well this is a really nice condo building.” He said as we walked through the lobby.

“Did you think I was some bum? I’m kidding! My parents and my best friend’s parents told us they would take care of us. They told us to find a place we will love for the next few years.” I explained to him.

We went into the elevator and I hit the 6th floor. I was so nervous, and I was sweating in places that wasn’t normal and butterflies were still flying in my stomach.

As we approached the 6th floor, he asked if I enjoyed the food.

“Of course it was delicious.” I smiled, the elevators door opened and I led the way, “Here I am, 602.” I took out my keys and inserted it into the lock. I didn’t know what else to say, I haven’t been on a date in ages.

Harry lightly tugged on my arm, “Wait. Y/N, before you go in, could I… have your number?” He blushed as he held out his phone.

Why is Harry Styles blushing? Am I making him blush?

I nodded my head and took his phone and saved my number. As I handed back his iPhone, in a swift move, he used one hand to take the phone and with his other, Harry pulled me in by my waist and chastely kissed me.

I closed my eyes and kissed him back. His lips were soft and I felt like chills going down my spine. The kiss was gentle and sweet, and ended way too soon. He pulled back and smiled.

“I hope you’ll let me see you again,” He kissed my forehead before he let me go. I couldn’t speak, I was still processing the kiss, so I nodded and opened my door.

“Goodnight Harry,” I managed to say.

“Goodnight Y/N.” He beamed and left.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

What did you think?!

Thanks so much for reading everyone, it means the world to me!

Can I get more feedback about this imagine series? Would very much appreciate it!

<3 M

It Doesn't Matter What Others Tell You, It's What You Believe That Counts

I can’t begin to tell you how much I love my dash on Tumblr. Every morning, before I start my day, I take a peek to see what everyone in this phenomenal fandom has been up to while I was sleeping and I can’t help but smile. The fanart is jaw-dropping, the fanvids are heart-wrenching, and now that I’ve started reading fanfic, I’m finding so many that are addictive. What I particularly enjoy is the down-to-earth responses and metas written by the bloggers I follow. They answer with such raw honesty that I fall in love with them every morning, all over again.

I’m not a fan of the blogger who tells you what you want to hear. I do not mean that to be offensive to those bloggers or disrespectful in anyway; it’s merely my personal preference. I like to keep it real (except when reading fanfiction, or writing my wishlist for Olicity, or imagining what Oliver and Felicity are really saying when they engage in eye frakking…huh, maybe I don’t like to keep it real……JK). I’m also not that blogger who is going to tell you what you want to hear. I’m going to tell you what I believe and how you take it, whether you believe with me or choose not to, is entirely up to you. And you will never hear me say that anyone who believes differently is wrong. Who are we to say that the belief or opinion of someone else is wrong? We may disagree, but that’s okay and no one should be belittled for having a different viewpoint. Our viewpoints are what make this fandom so rich in ideas and theories of where the show is going. So, no, I will never say someone else’s opinion is just wrong. Of course, that philosophy does not apply to Lauriver fans. They are just wrong. I kid. Sort of.

When it comes to the issue of whether Olicity is endgame, it is my opinion that it is an entirely subjective issue. We cannot know what is in the minds of the EPs or what their long-term plan is for these two beloved characters. Marc Guggenheim said that they always have a plan in place but that they need to leave room to deviate from the plan. I think that is the case with Olicity. Do I believe Olicity is endgame? With all my heart. Can I guarantee you that Olicity is endgame? Nope. But I can tell you why I believe they are endgame and you can either believe with me or look for someone to make you a guarantee.

Those of you who have followed me for some time know that I did not ship Olicity until this scene played out:

And it wasn’t until Episode 1 of Season 2 that Olicity started vying for OTP status against Mulder and Scully. In fact, I was quite torn. Can you have more than one OTP? I decided I could, especially since one show is no longer on the air (dear God, if they do another movie I will be certifiable.). Especially after this scene (sorry, not the one of him rescuing her. This said so much more to me!)

Season 1 established Original Team Arrow and a deep, friendship between Oliver and Felicity. Yes, it was filled with sexual innuendos, Felicity staring at Oliver as he worked out, and an electric charge that just hummed in every scene they had together but most of that was on Felicity’s side. Oliver was still too focused on the notebook and (leans over desk to gag into trash can) Laurel. As one reviewer said about her, Felicity was us; she epitomized the fan reaction to Oliver’s utter hotness and sex appeal. But in Season 2, that awareness started to shift. For me, I saw bits of it in episode one. Especially when Felicity shows him the improvements she made to The Foundry. The look on his face when he saw the improvements and then the bow:

And I will forever believe, regardless of what anyone else says, that the one cup of coffee scene was when Oliver began to (pardon the pun) smell the coffee, not enough to for that “light bulb” moment, but enough to stare at her longer than usual.  And it wouldn’t be the last time Oliver would look at Felicity in that way or that Felicity would offer comfort in a way only Oliver would accept.

\

As the season progressed, my belief and faith that Oliver and Felicity were endgame continued to take root. It solidified into something more concrete, especially with scenes like this:

But this:

The epic rage on Oliver’s face as he kills the man who threatened Felicity’s life, my God, I actually flinched (and still do) when I saw this and thought to myself that this is a man too stupid to realize he is in love. And then the crafty director captured this:

Make some room Mulder and Scully, Olicity are taking up residence.

The incredible, and undeniable, chemistry between the actors translates into their characters almost magically. Yes, we talk about chemistry all the freakin’ time when it comes to these two, but really what other word captures how much their scenes absolutely freakin’ sizzle regardless of what they are discussing? Their combined charisma and the intensity they lend their scenes together is what gives an added dimension to Arrow. It is what gives it more depth beyond a crime-fighting superhero show. It’s the very heart and soul of the show (this in no way detracts from Diggle’s importance. That is a post outside of Olicity because Diggle is more to me than someone who ships Olicity).

So I believed.  And every week the writers and producers gifted me with more reasons to believe. I will never forget the scene where Oliver apologizes to Felicity for being an asshat to her in 2.10. To comfort her about Barry, Oliver muses that perhaps Barry is dreaming of her. When Felicity starts to use logic and medical studies, Oliver gently stops her and this:

But I think we can all agree that this moment in the mansion, was never truer than it was at that moment.

Every plan must have room for deviation and I think it is quite clear that the producers are deviating from their original love interest plan. Will that deviation continue? I really don’t know. Only Marc and company can tell us that. But with moments like this between Oliver and Felicity:

 And this:

 And then this:

And finally:

I believe, with all my soul, that when all is said and done, it will be Oliver and Felicity. There is no other choice to make. Sinceriously.

Sex Education

Sex Education One Shot

Title: Sex Education One Shot
Pairing: Phan, implied kickthestickz
Rating: NC17 just to be sure
Genre: AU,smut |(i guess) fluff (just a little) *this is a funny fic wherein Dan and Phil are like really innocent or something*
Disclaimer: I don’t own phan or claim that it is real and you know the rest of the drill
Summary: Dan had confessed to Phil at vidcon and Phil doesn’t know what to do about it. PJ and Chris figured that they should “educate” Dan on the things that lovers do when they’re alone together (wink wink)
Authors note:Its a funny fic. I had to write something funny than the other phan fic I had because…no particular reason :D.

It started when Dan finally upped and confessed to Phil – confessed while staring at his hands and blinking to the ground and Phil had just stared, turned away and said “Oh ok then” a small blush creeping up his cheeks.

Which was a yes, or as close as Phil would come.

The rest would have been history, except that Phil, in a large fuck you to Right Action, had refused to do anything about it. Or say anything about it. Or arrange for the two of them to share a room, even.

Phil was clearly okay with this decision he’d made to avoid actually having a relationship with Dan.Dan, on the basis that Phil was okay with it, was also okay with it.

Chris (close friend of the two who had been attempting to hook those two up for about three years now, morals be damned) and PJ (who was the boyfriend of said good friend and number one supporter of CHris), however, were not okay with this.

They considered possible traumas, they considered fear, they considered shyness, and they discarded them all as possible reasons for Phil’s actions.

And then it occurred to Chris that, quite possibly, Phil,his very very close friend whom he has never seen with anyone, did not know what to do. He passed this knowledge onto PJ, who burst out laughing, didn’t stop for far too long, then agreed.

A plan was formed.

***

Informing Phil of the ins and outs of homosexual intercourse was something likely to get them killed if they went about it directly, lol jk but it would upset Phil in a way,but without a doubt, it needed to be done.

“We could leave books around where he’ll happen to stumble over them,” Chris suggested. “And, quite aware of the lack in his knowledge, he will find himself strangely drawn to pick up the books and read?”

PJ snorted. “Like hell he would. Even if he considered it, he would decide it was stupid and throw it away before beginning.”

“Ah, you have a point.”

“Videos?”

“…PJ, I really doubt he’d have the opportunity or inclination to watch them.”

“Oh yeah.”

A comfortable, contemplative silence fell.

“You know,” Chris said, thoughtfully. “Phil hasn’t been rooming with Dan.”

“Yeah, that’s part of the problem.”

“Still …”

PJ’s eyes widened and he took a sip of a soda he was drinking. “I see,” he said. “Yeah, I get it.”

“Ah, you’re pondering what I’m pondering?”

“I think so, Chris,” PJ agreed. “We trap Dan in his room and explain things to him very loudly?”

“Precisely.”

***

Truthfully, it was obvious to both of them that Dan was scared out of his wits.

He was sitting on his bed with a pillow clutched in front of him like an ineffective shield, eyes wide open and a desperate, helpless, terrified grin on his face. The bed was in a corner. Chris was standing in front of the long edge, hands on his hips, dictating loudly in Dan’s general direction but, more to the point, to the wall behind Dan.

PJ was between Dan and the door.

Dan had clearly already given up on escape and could do nothing but stare with horrified fascination and occasionally interject a word or two.

“Uh, so,” Dan managed finally, hoarsely, “after the, um. Lube. What do you–”

“WELL YOU GOTTA MAKE SURE IT’S NOT JUST A SLICK HIS COCK AND THAT’S THE END OF IT THING,” Chris bellowed. “WHICHEVER ONE OF YOU’S ON THE BOTTOM–” he heard a thump against the wall, probably in warning, “–WON’T BE READY FOR IT LIKE THAT. LIKE, I DO NOT CLAIM TO BE AN EXPERT ON PHIL’S COCK–”

PJ laughed politely.

“–BUT IT’S A CASE OF A SIZE THREE PEG FITTING INTO A SIZE ONE HOLE, IF YOU TAKE MY MEANING.”

Dan half-hid his face behind his pillow. “Uh, yeah, maybe we won’t. I mean. The blowjob and, uh, ‘mutual masturbation’ options y'described didn’t sound so bad…”

“Well, you can end up with a sore jaw,” PJ pointed out, gently. “But everything we are giving you instructions about are ultimately pleasurable when done well.”

“I don’t want Phil hurting my ass,” Dan blurted.

“WELL THAT’S WHY HE’S GOTTA TAKE CARE TO PREPARE YOU COMPLETELY – OR YOU HIM, WHATEVER, I DON’T JUDGE. LOTS OF LUBE. LOTS OF CAREFUL STRETCHING. OTHERWISE THERE’LL BE BLOOD AND TRAUMA AND NOBODY LIKES BLOOD AND TRAUMA.”

PJ cleared his throat.

“UNLESS YOU’RE PJ.”

Dan turned his horrified gaze on PJ for a moment. PJ smiled gently.

“ANYWAY,” Chris continued. “THRUST AND GO MAY BE THE INSTINCT, BUT YOU GOTTA HANDLE YOUR LOVER LIKE A–”

“Don’t say that Chris,it’s embarassing!”

“–FRAGILE – OKAY, I GUESS WOMAN ISN’T THE BEST METAPHOR HERE, IS IT.”

“Maybe we should move on,” PJ suggested.

“THAT’S A GOOD IDEA, PJ. AAAAAANYWAY. NOW, ONE THING THAT FEELS GOOD IS HITTING THE PROSTATE.”

“Well, if it’s Phil, he’ll hit anything,” Dan said.

PJ chuckled. “Well, he has good aim with all the video games I guess, but I don’t know if I’d go that far–”

“BUT HITTING THE PROSTATE, IT ISN’T SO EASY. ESPECIALLY NOT WITH A COCK. FINGERS, OKAY, NOT SO HARD. BUT AIMING WITH YOUR COCK, THAT TAKES WORK. IF IT HAPPENS, GOOD, AND HELL, I RECOMMEND IT.”

“How do you find it?” Dan asked, caught up in things despite himself.

“I’m not sure that’s easy to shout through the wall,” PJ said apologetically.

“…could use diagrams?”

“Loud diagrams?” PJ asked dryly, but Chris was barrelling on.

“ANYWAY, IN THE POSSIBILITY YOU CAN’T FIND IT AND, HELL, EVEN IF YOU DO, I WOULD LIKE TO RECOMMEND MASTER CHRIS’S FAVOURITE TECHNIQUE: THE REACHAROUND!”

Dan’s blush had started with his ears, but was now making its speedy journey down his neck. “Uh, so that’s, um. Just what it sounds like, right?”

“THAT’S RIGHT! THRUST AND WACK OFF AT THE SAME TIME! ANYWAY. NOW, FOR A FEW THINGS NOT TO DO, OR HORRIBLE THINGS WILL RESULT–”

PJ sighed, then stepped closer and covered Dan’s ears.

Dan blinked at him. “Um. Shouldn’t I … uh … hear this too? I mean, if you’ve already told me all this so far–”

“Oh, no,” PJ said, pleasantly. “No point turning you off sex forever.”

“But…” Dan’s voice dropped. “Is it okay to turn Phil off… y'know … forever?”

“It’ll just make him try harder,” PJ assured Dan.

The other side of the wall was now silent. Either Phil had fallen asleep – not very likely – or was actually listening.

After a few minutes, PJ uncovered Dan’s ears.

“Can I go now?” Dan asked, in a very small voice.

“Oh, I don’t think he’s done yet,” PJ said, brightly.

“–AND AFTER, YOU HOLD THE OTHER PERSON, GODDAMMIT. 'CAUSE IF OTHER PEOPLE FIND OUT THAT YOU ROLLED OVER AND KICKED THAT CERTAIN SOMEONE OUT OF BED, NO AMOUNT OF BULLETS IN THE WORLD WILL SAVE YOU.”

“Uh,” Dan said. “What?”

“It’s a metaphor, Dan,” PJ explained.

“…Oh.”


***

The next evening, Phil almost beat Chris and PJ black and blue.

But when Dan came down from his shared room with Phil with a faint limp and proceeded to spend the entire meal staring off into space with a wide smile and dreamy expression, they consoled themselves that the beating was worth it.

Besides, it really just spiced things up anyway.

anonymous asked:

lashton

YAY OKAY THIS MIGHT TAKE A WHILE 

  • shops for groceries

THEY GO TOGETHER they totally go shopping together, think about all the times they’ve been spotted shopping together already, just the two of them. Ashton picks up the keys and Luke is already right behind him because they’re partners who stick together, okay, Batman and Robin. But once they’re in the store it’s different because Ashton spends 10 years in the fruit aisle, he’s already got 3 bunches of bananas in the basket and he’s been sniffing the same pineapple for a while. Why? No one knows. Luke comes around the corner w/ about 8 cereal boxes in his arms and drops them in the basket. They then proceed to bicker about how much cereal is too much cereal before coming to an agreement that Luke can keep 2 boxes if Ashton leaves the fruit aisle once and for all, because they can’t survive only on bananas and cereal

They’re also the type of couple to pick up things that they know the other would like!! (。♥‿♥。) Like, Ashton will be looking for his favorite snack and Luke will go “I already got it for you now let’s goooo“ 

  • kills the spiders

ASHTON I mean he and his mom put the smack down on a spider, just using deodorant and a lighter. Like what the actual fuck, I don’t want to go to Australia if it takes that much effort to kill a beast, but yeah. No one likes those things and when Luke sees one he goes and gets Ashton immediately, no doubt

  • comes home drunk at 3am

Both probably. Definitely both. Probably Ashton more than Luke bc drinking law is different depending on the country they’re in, but they always go out together so they come home drunk together. They probably try to make sure one of them is less drunk so they don’t end up in a cornfield somewhere, though. That wouldn’t be fun. So they come home and pass out on the couch together, and whoever has the less painful hangover in the morning is the one who makes the tea and takes care of the other. 

  • makes breakfast

Ashton. I mean, he bragged about making Luke lunch and posted it on multiple social networks, so. I like to think he makes the breakfast and the yummy smell always awakens Luke from his beauty sleep, so he goes into the kitchen to ‘help’—which means standing around the kitchen or sitting on the counter and watching Ashton do all the work. Ashton will chastise him about being unhelpful, but Luke is actually a good taster. All Ashton has to do is stick a spoon/fork in front of him and Luke will taste the food and tell him if it needs anything extra, and they chat lazily about random things and it’s just so domestic and ~cozy~ <3 And Luke’s main job is to make the coffee/tea and help wash the dishes afterwards since Ashton made the food. 

  • remembers to feed the fish

"We have a fish?” nah jk they wouldn’t be that irresponsible I think BUT I’d say Luke remembers to feed it more. It’s hard to keep pets when they’re constantly on the road so they make Nemo (that’s the fish’s name, courtesy of Luke) the entire band’s responsibility. But really, everyone agrees that it was Luke & Ashton’s idea in the first place so they take care of Nemo most of the time. Ashton puts his earphones to the fishbowl to force Nemo to lisen to Nickelback, while Luke mainly just stares at it all day and talks to it when he needs to vent. On those nights, he kisses the bowl and thanks Nemo for listening to his problems. Nemo is not a pet, Nemo is family and should be appreciated. (Luke’s words, not Ashton’s. Ashton still prefers dogs)

  • decorates the apartment

Mmm, I think both of them, although Ashton seems to have more of a thing for art. Their bedroom is decorated with band posters and tons of other shit that Ashton claims they need, but Luke doesn’t mind it because it gives their place a personality. When people come over, they feel comfortable because I think the apartment would perfectly represent Luke & Ashton & their relationship with one another. Although at first, Luke wanted everything to be penguin themed while Ashton wanted them to have a bunch of His&Hers shit (or, in this case, His&His) bc he’s a sappy dork and wants Luke to match with him, goddammit. In the end, Luke keeps his penguin lamp and Ashton buys them adorable couple mugs

  • initiates duets

LUKELUKELUKE they’re always talking about how Luke sings all the time and how he ad libs a lot, so I bet he does it nonstop and Ashton gets a lil annoyed bc now the fucking song is stuck in his head. But then sometimes Luke will be singing and Ashton will quietly hum along (he doesn’t think he’s as good as Luke)—and when Luke notices, he’ll go over to Ashton and prompt him to sing louder and Ashton tries so hard not to give in but Luke is giving him that pouty lip and they’re the only two around so what the hell, why not have a duet and dance like a couple of idiots? They always end up laughing hysterically afterwards, and then making out so it’s okay

  • falls asleep first

Imma go w/ Luke on this one. Sleepy Lucas demanding cuddles that Ashton denies him on camera, but let’s be real, of course he gives them to Luke when they’re alone. They’ll cuddle up together under the blankets and even though Luke is bigger, he usually likes to curl up and make himself smaller to fit into Ashton’s arms and he lets Ashton play in his hair or rub his back ‘til he falls asleep (ღˇ◡ˇ) BUT ALSO sometimes when Ashton’s had a rough day, Luke will offer cuddles and he wraps his long limbs around Ashton’s smaller body and comforts him, giving him sweet lil kisses and whispering ‘I love you’ and ‘You did good today’ and anything to make Ashton feel calm, bc Luke calms him and they calm eACH OTHER AND THIS IS MAKING ME CRY THANKS