jk

anonymous asked:

OOH MOM CAN U MAKE A FANFIC WHERE YOU CANT RIDE A BIKE OR SWIM AND CALVIN TEACHES YOU? is it sad that im your age and i cant ride a bike or swim

Sorry if these are shorter, I have been getting a bit distracted by answering messages among other things. Going to stay up for a while and try to get these done. Here is one to keep you guys busy for a while until I can get another one done.


LeafyIsHere Fanfic - Two Wheel Horrors

“Hey, you wanna ride bikes to the store and pick up some ice cream or something?” you hear the person sitting next to you ask you. Sighing, you continue looking at your phone and say, “can’t, wanna do something else?” Laughing beside you, he replies, “what do you mean you can’t? We’re not doing anything right now, it’ll be quick on bikes.” You continue looking at your phone as you mumble some words together. Raising his eyebrows, he turns to you and asks, “I didn’t understand anything you just said, what did you say?” A little annoyed, you groan and say, “Calvin, I don’t know how to ride a bike so I can’t.”

A string of laughter escapes his mouth and you shove his shoulder. “It’s not my fault I never learned! We can always walk there if you want ice cream so badly!” you say, a bit defensive. Catching his breath, he says, “Change of plans, we’re teaching you how to ride a bike.” Rolling your eyes, you are quick to say, “Are you serious? I’m going to fall on my face, let’s just walk.” Taking your hand and pulling you off the couch, he says, “Nope, it won’t take that long.”

And now here you were, straddling a bike a few feet away from Calvin. “Calvin, I don’t know about this…” you say, absolutely terrified of falling off the bike. Sure, you were wearing a proper helmet, as you refused to learn without wearing one, but that didn’t make you any less worried. “Do you not trust me? C’mon, Y/N, you’ll be fine. We’ve done a couple walk-throughs already, you can do it. If you can’t, I won’t let you fall.” He says, trying to boost your confidence a bit.

Biting your lip, you quickly push off the ground and towards Calvin with the bike. He was roughly ten feet away, so if anything were to happen he would be close enough to help you. You are carefully concentrating on where your feet are and maintaining your balance. Pedaling a bit, you finally get the handle of things. Trying not to spook you or jinx you, Calvin simply watches you carefully as you finally figure out how to ride a bike.

Eventually, you are able to carefully maneuver around the street and begin confidently circle Calvin, grin plastered across your face. Smirking, he says, “So, how do you plan on stopping?” Your expression immediately falls and you almost completely fall off the bike as you lose the balance you had. Somehow, you are able to continue on the bike but are riding around to try and decide how to stop. A worried expression is featured on your face and you hear Calvin try to contain his laughter. “Calvin! This isn’t a laughing matter. How do I stop?!” you ask desperately. “Just lightly press the pedals in the opposite direction and go back to the standing position for the bike. Don’t press them too hard, or you will regret it,” he says, watching as you are considering all of your options.

You take a breath and decide to trust what Calvin says. Pressing on the pedals carefully, you find you are slowing down and just as your bike is about to fall over, you are stopped in place. Blinking a few times, you look back to find Calvin has stopped the bike and quickly puts the kick-stop down. “Told you I wouldn’t let you fall,” he says before continuing to say, “You know, it’s a lot easier to stop when you aren’t closing your eyes,” laughing a bit. Pouting a bit, you say, “Thanks, guess I should work on stopping next time.” Smiling, he helps you maneuver off of the bike and you hand him the helmet. “But hey, you didn’t do too bad for your first time,” he says, trying to lift your spirits about not getting it right the first time. “Really? At least I can kind of ride a bike?” you say, shrugging a bit.

After putting everything away, you plop down on the couch and sigh, tired from all of the bike riding you attempted to do. Walking in shortly after and seeing you laid out on the couch, Calvin laughs as he says, “I was going to suggest we walk and get ice cream, my treat, but you look too tired to do anything.” Without a second wasted, you are standing at the door. Smirking back at him, you say, “Are you coming?” Shaking his head and walking towards you, he replies, “I’ve never seen you move so fast.” Ignoring his comment, you intertwine your hand with his and begin discussing what type of ice cream you are considering getting. After all you went through, a waffle cone and extra toppings were more than deserved.


Hope you enjoyed. Happy Birthday, again (person who thought this one would be a good idea)! Let me know if you guys want more Leafy fics. I didn’t think this one would take as long as it did. I may just get up early in the morning to write another one. Anyway, I hope you guys are having a lovely evening! REMINDER: giveaway entries close tonight (08.24.16) at 11:59 PM CENTRAL. If you guys want an extension, please message me and we can discuss it. 100 Notes and I’ll buy you ice cream  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

How much has Greg Universe spent?

Greg Universe has around $10,000,000

Remember those math problems from fourth grade? Well they’re finally coming in to use. 

  • 3 tailor made suits, each being around $3000 average, $9000
  • An overnight hotel (let’s assume the Four Seasons in New York for reference) is $35,000
  • Room service let’s assume was $1000 (Room service is expensive)
  • All those singers/waiters $500 each, $5000
  • the car he bought: Let’s assume since it’s used but could match speeds of a Lamborghini, $4,500
  • Pole $100
  • tablet cost: $200
  • Okay so the boat one was the trickiest bit for me, but I looked up yachts to play it safe. The cheapest one I could find was $1,000,000, it had a 35m deck and was the closest to the show.
  • So the distance from Ocean City MD (City based off for beach city) to New York (Empire City) was  236.4 mi and a 1980 Chevrolet van (Which is a good base for Greg’s van) has 16mpg, which means that it would take 14.775 gallons to go to empire city one way. 
  • Let’s assume that that he filled his tank once in beach city and once in empire city. It would cost $29.55 for the gas in beach city (if we’re still using ocean city , MD as a model) and abut $44.33 in Empire city (if we’re using New York City). Combined adds up to $73.88
  • The Dondai Supremo’s tank of fuel probably cost about $20
  • The tables Greg has bought, let’s assume each one was on the nicer side, so there were three (one broken, two used in restaurant wars) each being $350, so that amounts to $1050. 
  • 6 wooden chairs, let’s assume he got them at Big lots or at Walmart, then it would be $600
  • Now for a speed round, Steven and greg both give out a stack of cash. Let’s assume each is a pile of ones (for cheap sake). A one dollar bill is  .0043 inches thick, which means a thousand of which would be 4.3 inches thick, which aligns with the show’s general image. So $2,000.
  • Valet: $50 (expensive hotel)
  • Greg gives away about $500 to staff as tips, ($100 to broken table to charge his bank account, and $400 to staff members after Pearl stops dancing)
  • As for taxes, I don’t know, but If someone would like to discuss what would be a proper amount, I’m up for it.

So, let’s add this all up, what does it amount to? $1,058,093.88

Which means, he still has $8,941,906.12 left over.

His shenanigans are far from over.