That’s the problem about having a first love when you’re not his first. Every little thing counts. What you’ve done together, you get jittery at the thought of the girls he had before that, the things they’ve done together. There are some memories you know you cannot replace, you try to avoid but at the same time you want to create better ones. You’re stuck in your insecurities and it’s not his fault. It’s not his fault that you’re not his first, that he shared memories that don’t belong to you. But because he’s your first, everything seems to matter more to you. You wish he could be a little more sensitive at times. You wish you could be less insecure. You just wish you’re the one who had the best and purest of him. When it get harders you wish that you had someone else before him, so you wouldn’t feel all the unnecessary, so it could all be easier. But really, you can only hope to be the best that you can be, for him and yourself.
just imagine Tae finding your tumblr. imagine him as he looks at your selca tag photos with opened mouth and a little smile, glancing at your beautiful eyes. imagine as he runs trough one of the rooms with a childish smile, asking Namjoon to translate what you write in the tags. "she called you super cute" answering Namjoon. imagine him scrolling trough it under the blankets, the phone's screen being the only light as he screennshotting the post where you wrote how handsome he is on that picture