motel ‘97 - 04

➵ pairing: jungkook x reader  
➵ genre: mafia au, angst, fluff, smut.
➵ warning: violence, crude language, read at own risk.
➵ word count: 4K+

01, 02, 03, 04

          Numb. Numb was the only feeling I had. Physically and mentally. It wasn’t too long until the pain slowly faded into what seemed to be a thousand jittery motions until it was far gone. The chafing on my wrists and ankles were sure to leave red marks. The rough brittle rope cutting into my skin. My head hung low, facing the floor. Eyes closed. Not like I was able to open them either from bruising. Deep shades of blue and purple painted across my left eye. I could make out very dull light peering through my lashes that came from the dim lamp above. Red was the only color I could see. Just red. Nothing but red. What an awful color it has become.

Ignoring any and every stare he received, he continued down the halls. The sound of his bare feet hitting the concrete floor, following a pattern. He quickened my pace as he turned the corner and was met with the same long, dim, and eerie hallway Taehyung dragged you down hours before. He wasted no time, sprinting down the long hallway. He slowed his pace as he approached the door. Above it, spray paint of Taehyung’s name. The cold metal door was surely not inviting in the slightest bit. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he walked down the small set of stairs and he rested his hand against the door, the other on the knob. He wasn’t sure if he could do this. What was he going to find beyond this door? Were you dead? Were you still alive? Did Taehyung take you somewhere else? He thought of a million different scenarios.. None of them ending well for not only you, but him as well. He took a deep breath before slowly pushing open the door, the small creak it left behind, startling him. He was on edge. It was a whole new atmosphere just within these 4 walls. The dark room. Dim lights. Blood covered walls and tiles. It felt so wrong. Sure, he wasn’t new to the concept. He had killed before. He had tortured before, but not like this. Not like this at all.

His mouth fell slightly agape as he took in your presence in it’s entirety. He was panting from quickly sprinting down the hallway and the adrenaline rush catching up to him. All he could hear was his breathing. You showed no signs of consciousness. Red liquid pooled at your feet, several bruises and blood soaked bandages that hung loosely to your frame. Your shirt ripped, hanging off your shoulder and shorts out of place. Please tell me he didn’t touch you.. He balled his fists at the horrible thought. He felt sick. His hyung did this? Taehyung was capable of this? He felt truly terrible. You shouldn’t be here. It was his fault and he was sure he messed up. Bad. He let out a shaky breath before he took a small step towards you and the chair. He didn’t know if you were alive. You weren’t moving at all. He was scared to know. He searched desperately for the rise and fall of your chest but he couldn’t see it. “Y/N..?” He stammered. No response. “Y/N..” He tried again. Still, no response. He approached further. He knelt down in front of you and took in the extent of your facial injuries. He squirmed, the image displayed in front of him making him uneasy. Dried blood had leaked down onto your lip, the source being your nose. You had a busted lip and swollen eye. He felt disgusted. Even so if you were of any harm to them, you didn’t deserve this. There were other options. This shouldn’t have been one of them. How could Namjoon let him do something like this? Especially to a woman! ‘She could still be of use to us.’ Jungkook recalled his words. But how? Not anymore.. Not like this.

“Y/N Ahh..” He worried. He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear so he could view your face better. You let out a small squeak and tried moving away from his touch. “Y/N?” He perked up almost instantly. He placed his thumb at the bottom of your chin, turning your head slowly. “Please..” You whispered. “Please don’t Taehyung..” You begged. He shriveled up inside at your words. It hurt him. “No Y/N.. It’s not Taehyung. It’s Jungkook…” He murmured. He watched as you slowly lifted your face, fully exposing your injuries to the light. “Jungkook..?” Your voice so small and weak, conscious fading. All you could make out was blurs of colors on the floor and walls. “Yeah.. It’s me. Look I’m gonna take you back to my room okay?” He comforted. He tried pulling at the ropes and they were tight. He could see the red marks left on your skin. You tried protesting but all that came out was nonsense. Your head fell forward and he feared for the worst. “Y/N??” He panted. “Y/N?!” He called again. His hand flew to your neck to check your pulse. It was weak. “Shit..” He scrambled up and began cutting at the ropes that held you down to the chair. “Y/N just hold on..” He fretted as he cut through the ropes at your ankles. Your figure slumped forward as the ropes slid off. Jungkook was quick to catch you before you hit the floor, covering his hands and forearms in blood. And not just anyone’s blood. Your blood.

         He watched your figure closely. The steady rise and fall of your chest as you laid still in his bed. Your fingers occasionally twitching. Your eye, along with your other bruises were improving quickly which was great. You had been out for about a day and Jungkook promised himself to take care of you till he could get you out of this mess. He eyed over your broken frame and let a sigh escape his lips. He knelt down next to you and brushed the hair out of your face. “Y/N. I’m truly sorry. I promise I’ll get you out of this mess.” He concluded, standing up and exiting the room.

        Silence and bliss. Wind blowing through your air. The warm sun kissing your skin. The feeling of the soft and lush grass beneath your bare feet. It feels so nice.. but…Was this it? Am I dead? It feels so real. Standing in a vacant field with nothing but a white dress and him.  He was here too. And god did I love him.. But, why was he so far from me? Standing what seemed miles away. But I could still see his face clearly. He seemed so distressed? Why is he yelling at me? And why can’t I hear him? Why can’t I hear anything? I knew it was too good to be true. Why is he waving his hands around and pointing? I furrowed my brows and turned around slightly and was met with Taehyung’s face, mere inches from mine, barrel of a pistol resting on the center of my forehead. My face dropped. His haunting smile, wide eyes glaring into mine. His finger snaking up the gun and resting firmly on the trigger. “You just need to tell me Y/N!” He smiled ear to ear. His voice suddenly becoming the only thing I could hear. Echoing over and over. “Save the tears Y/N. You’re a big girl…” He voiced slurred as he pulled the trigger. Everything happening in slow motion. Your head jerking back violently, your entire body collapsing on the ground. Your once white dress, becoming a dark crimson. And all you thought of was him.. All you could think of was him. Just him..

You shot up, tears in your eyes, clutching onto your shirt. You frantically looked around and nothing matched your previous surroundings. This wasn’t your room. The black bed sheets, the bed was pressed up against the wall in a corner, the black jeans and shirts tossed carelessly on the floor. You quickly threw your hands out searching for anything you could grab. There sat on the dresser, a pistol. You immediately threw the sheets off your bruised and tattered body and quickly made your way towards it. Regretting moving so quickly at once, searing pains shot throughout your body. Blood soaking into the new bandages placed on your body. A sharp scream following. But wait.. When did I get bandaged? When did I change clothes?! Your old bloody white shirt and shorts now changed into loose grey sweatpants and a new white shirt… Did Jin get me? Is this Jin’s room? A million thoughts pushed aside as your only focus was on reaching that damn pistol. You limped over, nearly tripping in the process and slammed your side into the dresser, gripping the pistol tightly. The knob to the door turned and you immediately threw the gun up to point at whoever was attempting entry.

Your hands trembled, tears clouding and impairing your vision. The door flew open and there he stood. He jumped back at the sight. You, clutching a gun, pointed directly at him. Tears running down your face, hands shaking violently. “Woah woah Y/N..” He raised his hands. Your lip trembling as tears fell freely your cheeks. “Put it down.. I’m not gonna hurt you. I promise. You’re safe here..okay?” He lowered his hands as he slowly approached you. You stood frozen, eyes still glaring straight ahead as he placed his hand over yours, removing the pistol from your fragile hands. You let your hands slowly fall to your sides. Jungkook stuffed the pistol in his waistband and went over to shut the door. “Why am I here. Who brought me here?” You asked. Jungkook ignored you, tossing his keys down on his desk. “Jungkook don’t fucking ignore me!” You pushed at his shoulder and he visibly winced and moved back, letting out a small groan. Your eyebrows furrowed at the sight. You took a couple steps back. “Sit down, we need to change your bandages and you need your insulin.” He addressed. So it was Jungkook.. He was the one who bandaged me. Which also meant he changed my clothes. You shuddered at the thought of being so vulnerable to him. “I can do it myself.” You declared. “No. You need stitches. The bandages were temporary till I could get the proper supplies.” He said walking out of his bathroom, a bin of medical equipment in his hands. “What about Jin then..?” “Isn’t he the doctor..?” You questioned. Was I really supposed to just trust him? Why could he do this if Jin couldn’t..? “He can’t help. He’s not allowed to go against Namjoon’s orders.” Jungkook informed as he pulled out alcohol wipes, needles and thread. “Please just let me help you.” He didn’t feel like arguing. He bent over to set the materials on the floor while you sat at the edge of his bed. “But..” You started. “Y/N.” He snapped. Why did you have to be so difficult? He thought. You closed your mouth and sat in silence.

He slowly kneeled down clutching his side. You caught on pretty quickly and questioned it. “Why are you holding your side like that..” You gulped. “Don’t worry about it.” He hissed. He was clearly in pain. “Jungkook.” He looked up at you and stood slowly. You watched intently as he lifted his shirt. Welts and bruises covering his torso. “What happened?!” You sympathized. “Namjoon.” He said throwing his shirt back down. “Namjoon? He did that?” You were confused. Why would he do that to his friend? “He didn’t want me helping you.” Jungkook bluntly responded, kneeling down again. “Plus you have it worse. You shouldn’t be worried about my injuries. Yours are far worse.” He scoffed. You felt bad. But.. why did you? He’s the one who got you in this position in the first place. But even so, he’s still choosing to help you..  And that bit of him you could appreciate.

Your thoughts were interrupted when Jungkook called out your name. “Y/N?” “Huh? Oh what sorry..” You mumbled. “I need you to take off the sweatpants.” He announced. He worried at the response this would cause you. He still didn’t know the full extent of what Taehyung did.. “Oh. Uh right…” You slowly pushed yourself off the bed, letting a small hiss escape as the friction of the bandages hit your wounds. You untied the drawstrings and slowly let them slide down your legs. You felt very uneasy at this idea but there wasn’t much you could do anyways. They pooled at your feet as you sat back on the bed. Jungkook pulled them off your feet and tossed them somewhere behind him. You placed your hands in your lap trying to cover your legs as much as you could. “This is going to hurt for a second okay?” He affirmed. You just nodded as he undid the bandages on your legs and thighs. You winced as the fresh cuts met the air. Your hands gripped the sheets tightly. “The ones on your arms aren’t as deep. They don’t need stitches but we still need to change them.” You just simply nodded again. Jungkook reached over and grabbed the alcohol wipes and needle and you tensed. He placed his hand on your upper thigh, a bit too close for comfort and you shifted. He noticed and moved his hand lower, mumbling a quick ‘Sorry..” Bad move. He paused, before looking back up at you. “Uh.. He didn’t touch you.. Right?” He prayed he didn’t. You hesitated for a moment. “..No.” You responded, not daring to look up and face him. “Y/N…” “He didn’t Jungkook.” You finished. Jungkook just nodded..

You waited as he sanitized the needle and grabbed the thread. You didn’t have much of fear of needles but pain was not something you could tolerate for long periods. “This is gonna be the painful part. It won’t hurt so much after the alcohol because it will be numb. Okay? If you need me to stop, let me know.” Jungkook looked up into your eyes awaiting your consent. “O-okay..” You were terrified. But it was either this or bleed out.

Jungkook finished the procedure quite quickly. He was pretty skilled with the needle and thread, claiming Jin taught him how when he needed stitches himself. He cleaned the dried blood off your arms and replaced them with ointment and new bandages. You pulled the sweatpants back on and carefully sat at the edge of his bed while Jungkook cleaned up. You sat quietly with your hands in your lap and watched him pack up the last items. He was quick to catch on to your staring. “What?” He mused. Your eyes followed his. “Why did you do it?” You quietly asked.  “Do what?” He paused his actions and turned to face you. “Why did you take me out of the basement and help me.” You burst out. He walked into his bathroom, nudging the door open with his foot and setting the bin down on the sink. He walked back out and shut the door behind him. You still looked to him, waiting for an answer. “I messed up.” He responded. “Badly. And I’m terribly sorry Y/N.” He sat down on the opposite end of his bed. You stayed silent. “Things aren’t going to be able to go back to normal.. Not after Namjoon got involved and I’m truly sorry.” He looked to you. You still didn’t understand. Why did everyone treat you like a child here?  “Can I ask you something?” You turned your head to face him. “Yes?” “What is this place? Why am I here? Why did he… why did he do this..?” You choked up on your words at the thought of Taehyung. “Y/N.. We are bad people. Very bad people. And I can’t promise you that after you hear this, you will still feel safe near me.” He sighed, tapping his fingers against his thigh. “Tell me. Please Jungkook.” You pleaded.

“Mafia. We’re mafia.” He admitted. “Namjoon took me in. My parents followed the Mafia path as a lifestyle which is why I ended up here. Trust me, if I could change anything, it would be to get out of this shithole lifestyle. And I now dragged you into it.” He ranted. You stayed silent. “My parents were bad people. Got caught up in the game and way over their heads. They were assassinated when I was younger by an opposing group. I was left alone and my brother was out all the time. Nowhere to be found.” He paused. “But Namjoon.. He took me in. Gave me an actual home. I grew up with him and Taehyung.” You tensed at his name and Jungkook noticed. “I didn’t really know what I was getting into. That was until Namjoon killed someone in cold blood in front of me.” Jungkook balled his fists. Remembering the incident like it was yesterday. The pistol.. His pleads for help.. “His name was Jimin. He was a close friend of mine and.. Him.” He rephrased to avoid using Taehyung’s name. “I never forget it. His face. What Namjoon did.” He lowered his head, laying his hands flat on the bed. “He didn’t deserve it. And Namjoon knew that. He knew it better than any of us..” He whispered the last part. “All of us have blood on our hands. Some more than others. But I’m no saint. I’ve done it. I had no choice.” He stayed silent afterwards, pushing himself up off the bed. “Jungkook…” You started. “I know Y/N. If you weren’t already terrified and hated me in every way possible.. This had to do it.” He started for the door when you quickly jumped up and latched your arms around his stomach, hugging him from behind. “It’s not your fault.” You mumbled into his shirt. He stood still. “It is Y/N. I had plenty of chances to get out of this mess and I didn’t take them.” He argued. “You were scared. Anyone would have done what you did.” You still kept your grip tight on him. “You were just dealt some bad cards. That doesn’t make you a monster.” He let his head fall forward at your words and he slowly placed his hands over your arms.

You released your grip when a vibration from his back pocket startled you. You moved backwards and noticed it was your phone in his pocket. Oh god.. How could you forget?! Minji must be worried sick! Has he sent her anything? Does she know what happened? “Minji.. She’s my roommate.. Oh god. Does she know?” You asked him. “No.” He responded turning around. Your eyes widened. “Where does she think I am?” You worried. “I’ve been texting her. I told her you would be moving out and staying with another friend for a while.” Your brows furrowed. There was no way Minji would let that slide! “I’ve sent a few of our group over to get your stuff Y/N. Again, I’m sorry. This is just temporary though okay? Just until I get you out of this mess.” He sighed. “Namjoon won’t let you leave. At least not alive. Please Y/N, this is the best for you.” You stumbled back, tears forming in the corners of your eyes. “You can stay in my room or yours. Whichever you prefer.” He kindly offered. You slowly moved back until you hit the bed. “Can I have some time alone..?” You quietly sniffed. He felt horrible. You were now crying and this whole mess was his fault. “Yeah of course.. I’m gonna go get some takeout. Would you like some?” He asked, grabbing his keys off the dresser. You just nodded as you pushed yourself up into the corner of the bed leaning against the headrest. “I’ll be back. I’m gonna lock the door okay?” He gently called out. You didn’t respond and he frowned and shut the door.

You were full on sobbing at this point, Your loud cries being the only sound present. Your knees were pulled up into your chest as you rested you head on them. You had lost track of time and you were exhausted. You wiped at your cheeks with the back of your hand and slowly declined down and laid on Jungkook’s bed. You stared at the blank wall, letting thoughts and ‘what ifs’ pass through your mind until your eyelids drift shut and you were asleep.

He walked down the hallway with keys and takeout bag in hand. As he neared his door, Taehyung stepped out of his. “Jungkook Ah! Where have you been?” He cheerily asked. “Fuck off Taehyung.” He snapped, jamming his keys into his door. “Ahh.. You must’ve been the one to take her out of the basement then..” Taehyung jammed his hands into his pockets, smiling. “She may have been innocent, but girl puts up one hell of a fight. I like her.. Say where is she now?” He smiled, perking forward. “None of your fucking business Taehyung. Leave before I beat your ass.” Jungkook hissed, pushing his door open and slamming it behind him in the process.

You jolted up at the loud sound of door slamming and quickly rubbed at your eyes. “Oh shit. Sorry I didn’t know you were asleep.” Jungkook apologized, setting the bag on his desk. He could easily see the dried tears on your face and your irritated puffy eyes. You had been crying. A lot. Although the sight of you sitting in his bed, with messy hair was one he could get used to. “Uhh.. I’m not sure what you wanted so I just got you the same thing I get..” He said pulling the containers out of the bag. You nodded. You frankly didn’t care what it was you just wanted food. You hadn’t eaten in nearly 3 days. You quickly opened the container and picked away with your chopsticks. Jungkook sat opposite of you in his desk chair and he chuckled as he watched you eat quickly. “What?” You tried speaking with your mouth full of food. “Nothing..” He smiled, cocking his head to the side. You swallowed your food and set the container down on his nightstand. “Look if you didn’t eat anything for nearly 3 days too, you would be the same way.” You groaned.

 After the two of you finished your food you laid on your side in his bed, listening to him tell some dumb story about him and Namjoon when they were younger. “And that’s how we ended up on the side of the freeway with nothing but our boxers on..” He chuckled. “You’re so dumb.” You yawned. “Ahh.. It’s pretty late isn’t it.” He checked his phone, the time reading ‘11:56PM’. “You can take the bed. I’ll sleep on the floor.” He said grabbing a blanket from his closet and grabbing an extra pillow from his bed. “I can sleep on the floor. This is your room after all.” You protested. “Not with those injuries.” He said laying his blankets out. “But.. You’re hurt too.” You propped yourself up on your elbows and he turned out the lights. “I’m fine. Go to sleep.” He grumbled, pulling the blankets over him.  “Make sure you get your insulin in the morning. I put extra in the drawer if anything happens. If you need anything just wake me up.” He explained. You let a small smile flash on your face as you thought of it. He really did care.. How did he get so lost in this mess… You let out a sigh and pulled the covers over yourself. It was freezing in his room. You turned the opposite way facing the wall, trying to get comfortable.

 After what seemed like hours of moving around trying to get comfortable, nothing was working. You let out a frustrated huff and peered over the edge of the bed. “Jungkook?” You whispered. “Mhmm?” He hummed. “I can’t sleep.” You whined. “It’s cold.” You whined again. “Tough shit. I’m on the floor.” He chuckled, moving his hands behind his head. “Just sleep with me.” You whispered. “Well damn.. At least take me to dinner first..” He laughed. Your face redden. “You know what I meant moron.” You huffed rolling back over facing the wall. “Goodnight then.” You were going to attempt to sleep again when you felt a sudden weight shift next to you, and sure enough it was Jungkook. “Happy?” He teased. “Shut up..” You mumbled from under the covers. You weren’t gonna lie though, you did feel a lot better with him next to you. You shifted back and he pulled you towards his chest. You rested in that spot for a while and you were finally able to drift to sleep. “I promise I’ll fix this Y/N. Just wait for me..” Jungkook whispered as he eventually dozed off with you next to him. How he hoped it could be.

Whiplash: Yuta Scenario

((this might be a bit weird, idk,, this is kind of based off the song but also not?? either way, taeyong saying this song is about his sister is completely void here and i just went off what I could with some kind of links to the song!))

Waiting for a phone call was never pleasant. But now, more jittery than ever before, Yuta felt his world had stopped spinning - seconds passing irritably slowly, every minute huge and thumping, adding to the anxiety that you’d never call.

The synthetic bleating broke through the silence, ringing out for barely a moment before Yuta had the phone in is hands, desperately clamouring for your voice.

“I can get some time free the days you . I’ll meet you at from the airport, as long as you’re still okay with everything?” Your voice felt like a prayer answered, despite the slight warping as you whispered down the phone.

“Yeah, that’s great, I’ll book a flight now.” He grinned, practically bouncing off the walls with the idea of finally meeting you.

“I can’t wait to see you.” You added sheepishly, reverting to a blushing mess as you imagined him finally physically with you.

“I can’t either. I’ll see you soon.”

“Leave a message if anything changes.” Yuta swore he could hear the smile in your voice as the clanging tone took over again.

This was it. He was finally going to see you.

Keep reading

Random joke magic items

Here’s a list of random joke items to use for fun in your campaign. I’d recommend adding them to treasure hoards rather than subbing normal items for them.
Anyway here they are:

1. Ace of Spades - An ace of spades from a standard card deck. No matter where you store it on your body, you will always be able to find it in your right sleeve afterwards.

2. Amulet of Extra Amulet Slot - This amulet allows you to gain the benefit from two magical amulets rather than one. It cannot be further enchanted.

3. Amulet of Feather Fall - When worn, this amulet turns into a feather and falls to the ground.

4. Amulet of Unbreaking Bones - Con-man says you can’t break any bones. Really, he means other’s bones. -100% damage against skeletons.

5. Amulet of weather detection - yells that it is or is not raining.

6. Anti-Matches - A box of matches. Striking one will make it begin to drip water from the tip while the match shrivels away. The amount of water a match releases is about enough to fill a tablespoon.

7. Arrow of Euarere - A silver arrow, suspended on a string. It always points to the person holding the string.

8. Arrow of Slaying, The - This magical arrow is capable of killing a creature.

9. Artist’s Bludgeon, The - Inanimate objects hit with this bludgeon will receive no damage; they will however change color.

10. Attentive Guardsman’s Pike - These ornate and deadly-looking ceremonial pikes are reach weapons and appear to weigh at least 20 lbs, not counting the weight of the fluttering banners that can be unfurled for parade use. Constructed of shadowstuff, they weigh one pound, and inflict only a single point of damage on an attack, being almost entirely for show, although they also have the unique property of remaining in place when set (although unable to support more than 20 lbs), allowing a ‘resting his eyes’ guardsman to prop it up and leave it standing under its own power, while his hand sags off of it.

11. Attentive Guardsman’s Tabard - A dozen of these tabards were fashioned for palace guardsmen in the Empire of Sard, 250 miles from the nearest enemy. The bearer is placed under a glamour that causes him to appear alert and awake, even if his eyes are closed and he is snoring lightly.

12. Axe of Big Numbers - This axe shouts “Big numbers baby, come on!” whenever it is swung, but always deals 1 damage or less.

13. Axe of Empathy - Every time you hit something with this +5 greataxe, you get dealt an equal amount of damage. Both you and the thing you hit are then healed the amount of damage dealt by the axe, even if either are dead. The Axe hopes you have learned your lesson.

14. Axe of Pain - The axe is always moaning and groaning with pain.

15. Bag of Faerie Gold - This sack appears to be full of gold coins and jewels. When one attempts to spend them, however, the glamour on them soon vanishes, revealing them to be nothing but leaves and pebbles. Obviously, most shopkeepers will not be happy about this, and no amount of ‘we didn’t know, I swear!’ will change their mind.

16. Bag of Holding - This item functions as a normal backpack, however when attempting to retrieve an item, a calm female voice tells them there is a wait time of 4d10 minutes before they can retrieve their item (actual time is stated time plus 6d6 additional minutes). During this wait, the bag plays either annoying muzak or advertisements for the bag’s creator’s other products/services. Upon attempting to retrieve an item, there is a chance that the wrong item is retrieved, or that the intended item is simply missing. Obtaining the original item requires an additional 4d10+6d6 minutes and has only a 5% chance of success.

17. Bag of Trading - You can take one thing out of the bag for each object you put in the bag. However, you have no control over what you get, and there are no trade-backs. Past research seems to imply there’s some sort of correlation to what gets you what, but it’s extremely convoluted and far from understood.

18. Bag of Trick - This bag operates like a Bag of Tricks, except it only works once a week and produces a rat each time it is used.

19. Bag of Unholding - Quite a large backpack but even the smallest item doesn’t fit.

20. Bagpipe of Stealth - Grants the user invisibility as long as it is being played.

21. Ball of Eyes - A snow-globe filled with miniature eyeballs. When shaken, it grants the user a blurry, jittery vision of some future event.

22. Banana Walkie-Talkies - There exist two, and only two, of these items in the world. One of which is possessed by a cranky and lonely half-orc. It appears to be an innocuous wooden banana with a coat of faded yellow paint. When an end (doesn’t matter which one) is placed against your ear, you can hear a ringing followed by a click and a half-orc yelling at you for waking him up at this ungodly hour. If you drop the banana or “hang up,” the call ends. If you stay and listen, the half-orc will yell at you, call out obscenities, and start going on about his daily problems and mishaps in his love life. Every so often (2% chance/day), the banana will ring while you are sleeping and the half-orc will want to talk to you about his problems.

23. Barrel of Holding - This large wooden barrel measuring √(12/π) feet in diameter and 5 feet in height can hold up to 15 cubic feet of matter.

24. Beam Sword of Severed Nerves - A beam sword. It cannot cut anything but nerve strings. Will pass through any other material leaving no harm.

25. Belt of Pants - This belt creates illusory pants on the wearer. The wearer can suppress the illusion at will

26. Belt of Tightening - Every time you put this belt on, all of your clothes permanently shrink a fraction of a millimeter. The effect is compound.

27. Belt of Unbathed Breath - When worn around the waist, allows the user to breathe underwater. Does not function when wet.

28. Boogie Skeleton - This pile of bones is small, such as one that might be obtained from a bird or a toad, though it can look as though it came from any creature. When a song is sung or played in the vicinity of the skeleton, it begins to dance appropriately. As soon as the music stops, it collapses into the pile of bones again. The skeleton, when dancing, can be no larger than Diminutive.

29. Book of Canon - A book that automatically transforms into a copy of the sacred text of any religion, translated into the language the user is most familiar with.

30. Book of Confusion - The letters in this book always appear to be upside down, even if viewed from different directions at the same time. The book is a bad novel about zombies.

31. Book of Curses - When opened, the book verbally berates anyone in the immediate vicinity, calling into question their combat ability, intellect, personal hygiene, lineage and profession of their mothers, and other delightful insults. Once closed the book continues shouting (although it is muffled) until placed inside a bag or some other similar container for 1d4+1 minutes and ignored. Replying to the book in any other way causes the insults to get louder and more childish the more time you spend replying to it.

32. Book of Exalted Deeds - Contains a listing of some of the finest houses ever sold and the specifics of the titles to the properties.

33. Boots of Blinding Speed - The wearer’s speed is doubled, and they are blinded.

34. Boots of Levitation - These boots levitate a few inches off the ground when not worn.

35. Boots of Stylishness - Knee high black boots that are always clean and shiny. They never take in water, thus feet are always dry.

36. Boots of Teleportation - Allows the player to teleport wherever they like, but don’t carry the wearer with them when activated; the boots teleport just fine, though.

37. Boots of Walking - The wearer of the boots cannot run, nor can he take a double move action, and takes a -5 to Tumble checks. These boots are made for walkin’, and that’s just what they’ll do.

38. Bottle of Air - It’s a bottle. Full of air. Congratulations.

39. Bottomless Beer Mug - Any liquid poured into this mug treats the bottom as incorporeal, but solid objects don’t.

40. Bowl of Comfortable Warmth - Any liquid in the bowl will feel comfortably warm, so icy cold water will feel like it’s a bit over room temperature. Do note, however, that it’s still icy cold water, it just feels warmer.

50. Breastplate of Secret Detection - If the wearer of this breastplate gains a piece of information that is somehow connected to the concealment of a hidden conspiracy or plot, a live and still wet red herring forms on the inside of the armor.

51. Bullying Gloves - At random intervals, these gloves instil the wearer with a near-irresistible urge to hit themselves.

52. Bunyan’s Belt - When worn, causes an enormous, bushy black beard to appear on the wearer’s face.

53. Cape of Resistance - When this item is placed on any living thing it somehow manages to fall off, untie itself, slip past the owner’s neck entirely, or otherwise avoid being worn.

54. Case of the Litigator - Translates any document placed in the case into legal jargon; non-reversible. Does not confer the ability to understand legal jargon.

55. Cat of Schrodinger - When this cat is not being observed in any way it is both dead and alive. When something observes it, it suddenly becomes either dead or alive with a 50% chance of either.

56. Chair of Steadiness - This chair can be moved but cannot be tipped over by anything less than a DC 35 Strength check.

57. Charles - This small, unremarkable figurine of a gnome refuses to be called anything but Charles. No other name will leave the lips of the speaker. It has no other powers.

58. Chime of Interruption - This instrument can be struck once every round, which takes a standard action. On any round the chime is activated the user may ready one action without spending an action to do so.

59. Chime of Opening - Commonly affixed to or near doors, when pressed it emits a sound on the interior of the owner’s home to let them know guests have arrived.

60. Chime of Opening (Alternate) - When struck against a solid surface, this chime emits a loud click, and opens along its length, to reveal a tiny compartment adequate to conceal a single 'smoke’ worth of pipeweed or a blowgun needle. When the compartment is closed, it is seamless and can be detected only with a DC 20 Search check. If hit with an instrument such as a small mallet, it chimes.

61. Cloak of Billowing - This black and silver cloak will always billow dramatically behind the wearer, it has no other effects.

62. Cloak of Displacement, Minor - This item appears to be a normal cloak, but when worn by a character its magical properties distort and warp reality. When any attack is made against the wearer the cloak has a 20% chance of falling off, no matter how it is secured.

63. Compacting hammer - The force imparted by it is multiplied, but is spread around the surface of a struck object facing inward.

64. Cymbal of Symbols - This musical instrument enables the user to comprehend dead languages, but only while they are deafened by noise.

65. Dagger of Told Secrets - A simple-looking dagger. If used to backstab someone to death, it will whisper your most embarrassing secret to that person.

66. Dagger of unnatural sharpness - The blade is exceptionally sharp to your touch. It confers no combat bonuses but can be used as a normal dagger for fighting or crafting, but the user seems to always cut himself in minor ways when using it.

67. Dagger of Untold Secrets - A simple looking dagger. If used to backstab someone to death, it will whisper the most embarrassing secret of that person to you.

68. Decanter of Endless Sorrow - A pewter flask that produces limitless alcohol when held to their lips by someone who is troubled. It gets them drunk but they never feel any better.

69. Diadem of Brothaurity - When wearing this headpiece, you are as elegant and well-spoken as a famous diplomat or regent, but you can’t stop calling everyone bro.

70. Enchanted Book of Collected Stories - Opening this will cause miniature creatures/people to pour out and perform a chapter from the book much like a theater.

71. Focusing Ring - The digit on which this ring is worn can be viewed in extremely high definition from a great distance.

72. Gloves of Tinkering - Wearing the gloves will make you able to almost repair any broken item. However, you will always end up with pieces from the item that don’t seem to fit anywhere.

73. Glowing sword of orc detection - When it gets orc blood on it the sword glows.

74. Good Luck ring - Gives your enemies good luck!

75. Greater Staff of Random Summoning - Summons a random creature at a random place. You could be summoning a giant Ogre on the other side of the globe for all you know.

76. Helm of Awareness, The - The wearer is acutely aware of the fact that they are wearing this helmet and that it has a magical effect. - All you need to do to make this work as a DM is frequently remind the player that the helm is magical while they are wearing it but be evasive about exactly what it does.

77. Hoarder’s Wand - Does nothing but for some reason you think it might be important later in your quest.

78. Hood of Offensive Facades - This hood will change your identity in the eyes of others to the appearance of the person they most personally dislike.

79. Hood Of Worrisome Facades - This hood will change your identity in the eyes of others, however the identity used will be random.

80. Indestructible Notebook of Memories - This otherwise normal notepad of normal notepad size cannot be damaged or destroyed, and anything written in it cannot be obscured or defaced. It also has unlimited pages despite its finite size. However, the data it holds only lasts as long as the writer independently remembers it, and decays in exact proportion to the relevant memories. Remember who and when, but not where? Then the words describing the location in that particular entry are the only ones gone.

81. Intransigent Rod - When the button on this artifact is pressed in, the holder’s opinions solidify and they become impossible to convince.

82. Key to anywhere - opens any door into a closet with a water bucket that falls and hits the player’s head. Inside this closet is the treasure of true adventurers. If opened with a key, it opens a closet…

83. Lunch Box of Delicious Unfulfillment - This lunch box will hold whatever food you desire. However you will never get full and the food will deliver no nourishment.

84. Mask of Concealment - Hides the wearer’s face and conceals everything from them by blocking their eyes! Bonus points for requiring a strength check or a time limit to expire to be removed.

85. Mattress of Poverty, The - No matter how you fluff this gorgeous, thick, mattress, you will always sleep on the thin part of it.

86. Mug O’ Dissatisfaction - A mug that always produces a steaming hot cup of coffee or tea when tapped on the bottom. It conjures the opposite of what the tapper prefers, so if you like tea you get coffee and vice versa. Handing the full mug to another person will make the drink in it transform to the opposite of that person’s preferences.

87. Murder Dagger - All damage it would deal is instead replaced by the target being harassed by crows for that many hours.

88. Needle Of Learned Compromise - This needle will create beautiful tattoos of any design, however they hurt a tiny bit more. When used to sew it is entirely normal.

89. Portable Dark Tavern Corner - Consisting of two wooden boards connected by a hinge, this artifact draws those nearby into assuming it is a perfect spot to conduct seedy business.

90. Potion of fire breathing - For the length of time that the potion is in effect, every breath out is on fire, whether you want it to be or not.

91. Potion of Quelchment - Cures thirst when consumed

92. Ring of Fire Detection - becomes warm when placed into Fire.

93. Ring of First Impression - Wearing the ring will make you able to perform a perfect handshake with the hand wearing it.

94. Ring of Stoneskin - Turns your skin, muscles, and organs into stone! Character is now a stationary statue. Can’t be reversed until someone takes the ring off.

95. Rope of Entanglement - Becomes entangled when left in a pack

96. Sack of Hive Eggs - Crushing one of the numerous tiny eggs will cause the thoughts of everybody in the proximity to merge. Everybody can hear what you think and you can hear everybody.

97. Shirt of fire protection - this shirt is sopping wet.

98. Shoes of the Restless Traveler - These shoes allow their user to run for miles without feeling fatigue, but if they try to do anything else with it (walk, sit down, jump), they will instantly trip

99. Sword of Parrying - Parries every attack, swinging it yourself will force it to “parry” your opponent’s weapon/attack even though he/she/it is defenseless.

100. Torch of Night Vision - grants bearer Night Vision while lit.

101. Vorpal Grindstone - It can “sharpen” any object to become vorpal. Any object.

102. Wand of command - Lets your character be controlled after saying the command word!

103. Wand of Create Wand of Create Wand - Creates a Wand of Create Wand. Consumes original Wand.

104. Wand of Pigeon Summoning - summons 1d20 pigeons everyday. On a 20 it breaks and summons a giant pigeon god (can be the size of Godzilla or like 5 pigeons.) Giant pigeon god should be in the mid 20s for CR, but is uninterested in attacking, and will simply fly away when summoned.

105. Water Hat, The - A small red hat, when worn, causes water to pour from the wearer’s fingers at the speed and pressure of a kitchen faucet at half power.

106. Wineskin of the Eternal Primary - This wineskin never runs out of water, but even the tiniest sip makes you have to go potty, like, super bad. Right now.

probably the worst thing for fake ah crew geoff about opening his place up to the crew is that he realizes how fucking horrible they are at taking care of themselves?? like okay geoff “will drink liquor as a meal” ramsey doesn’t exactly have anyplace to be judging from but like

  • gavin, how– how many energy drinks have you had. why are your fingers shaking like that. you weigh like six pounds of fucking course four red bulls are gonna make you jittery oh my god
  • jack how fucking long have you been working. those aren’t your clothes from yesterday, those are your clothes from two days ago, yes i’m sure, that hawaiian print is such an assault on my eyes i wouldn’t forget it
  • ryan you eat, um, nothing as far as i can tell and you sleep standing up, i think, which is weird, but then michael brings in donuts and you eat six in ten minutes and pass out on my couch, are you. are you okay.
  • speaking of donuts and all other foods and some non-foods: michael if you don’t stop trying to Eat Everything for a dare i’m gonna have to put stomach pumping services on speed dial
  • jeremy you have to stop letting gavin convince you to do stupid and/or dangerous things just because he’s filming it, you are going to straight-up die and i don’t really care how many youtube views that’ll net you
  • lindsay please stop trying to Fight Everything including your own crew, not every situation calls for a knife fight and if a situation does call for a knife fight the knife doesn’t gotta be that goddamn big
  • mica you can’t just go walking smugly into other gangs’ territories– no i don’t care that you can take them. you don’t go onto your shitty neighbor’s property and piss on their lawn just because you can. you’re gonna start a fight and then lindsay’s gonna get her knife out again.
  • trevor you leave a trail of coffee cups in your wake and i’m pretty sure they’re just filled with straight espresso. do you– i mean, we could just get you a rolling iv and drip caffeine straight into your veins at this point.
  • matt if you order forty breadsticks and nothing else for dinner one more time i may have an actual, literal aneurysm, have you ever eaten an actual vegetable in your life
  • ray i don’t even know where to start with you can you even name a vegetable.
Braids 💆

Originally posted by ohbabyyeah

A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this! It’s the longest I’ve written on this blog and I’d really appreciate the feedback here  – I’m most likely doing a Part 2 depending on how you all like it. Enjoy :)

Harry loved family reunions.

Amongst the bickering cousins and lurid pitter-patter of children, he often found himself feeling at peace as his folks filled him in on all the stories he’s missed out on. He’d laugh about his jittery uncle who nearly burnt his eyebrows off from an old barbecue, nodding approvingly as his aunt gushes about her eight year old who’s just won the flashy new title of spelling bee champion. He likes the way they treat him too. With adoration in their eyes, resurrecting from the years they’ve watched him as a young boy (instead of the usual gaze of stardom he’s used to). He almost, if not, especially enjoys the way they admire his success, not as an ego-booster, but as a way of praising Anne for his upbringing, despite the major gossip that briefly tainted his mother’s name around her first divorce.

But even in a house packed with his most favourite people, he would always feel relatively exhausted from the length of the reunion, a full four days he’d reckoned. It was unfair really, he loved his crazy family, but he always felt like he had to put on his best face, never getting his usual dose of solitude to rejuvenate.

So when Harry first invited you to join him, he hadn’t quite expected you to be so patient with his family.

“Yes, he is very handsome,” you’d chuckle, “but we’re only friends.”

“You’re sweet, love, but I think this little girl wins the beauty contest, hmm?”

“Right, he is very good with kids.”

“M’only in uni, ma’am, so I’ve got a few good years before settling down.”

Keep reading

Then it’s quiet again, but as always this luxury doesn’t last more than a few minutes, because they’ve taken to a highway and there’s a long stretch of road ahead of them, and Harry starts talking again, “So are we g'na ignore how you were drooling over me?”

Y/N scoffs, affronted by the accusation that was 100% corrected, “Was not drooling  over you, jesus, get your head out of your ass.” She grumps at him, “Not everyone on this planet gets wet at the sight of your biceps.”

She wishes it was ruffling him, but she can tell it isn’t. He merely grins sneakily and leans back into his seat, “Yeah, what ever you say, Pet.”


Y/N and Harry don’t really mesh well, until they do

Keep reading


First Monday of the Easter holidays involved me doing a bunch of planning, as well as drinking my first latte! Which I then proceeded to spill on my textbooks…..but whatever

percyyoulittleshit  asked:

I write a bad pick up line on your cup every time I’m your barista’ Or ‘Should I be concerned about how much caffeine you’re taking in’ For Percabeth

“Coffee guy has a crush on you,” Piper says without preamble, flicking a page in her reading.

“Uh huh,” Annabeth mutters, dragging a highlighter over a line in her book. It’s only after she’s finished an irritated scribble in the margin that the words really penetrate. She glances up at her friend, who is leaning across the table looking amused. “What? No. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m always ridiculous. And always right. He keeps refilling your coffee.”

Annabeth, who has been lost in a haze of architecture for longer than the hour Piper has been sitting in the cafe with her, has not really been aware of her drink being refilled. She’s reached for her mug when she wanted a drink, and the mug has always had coffee in it. The logical inconsistency between the amount of times she’d reached for the cup and the cup never being empty had not really jumped out at her until now.

“If he’s refilling my coffee and not yours, that just makes him rude.”

“Oh, no. He’s been refilling mine. When you started swearing at your book before, it nearly overflowed, and it wasn’t because he was scandalised.”

Annabeth sighs, refusing to glance over her shoulder at the coffee guy in question. It’s not like she doesn’t already know what he looks like, the guy is six foot tall with a build like an Olympian swimmer and a jawline that could cut glass. She manages to drag her brain to a halt before it starts listing things to compare his eye colour to: Piper is smirking at her reading in a way that suggests she’s learnt how to read minds.

“He was probably impressed with my command of the english language.”

“He was impressed with something, all right.” Piper shuts her folder with a snap. “Right, i’m done here.”

“That reading was fifty-one pages, you’re so full of shit.”

“The fact that you know how long my readings are is terrifying, you know that?”

“Do your homework!”

“Can’t hear you, running away to get a restraining order!” She’s halfway to the door by the time she sing-songs that, leaving Annabeth with her nearly empty coffee mug and a cafe full of people giving her the stink eye.

“If you need an alibi, I can testify that you’ve been here pretty much all day.”

Coffee guy has a nice voice. Warm, smooth, just this side of deep without sounding like the trailer guy. It takes Annabeth an embarrassing amount of time to register that she’s thinking this because he’s standing right next to her, holding a coffee pot. It’s a good thing her self control is world renowned, because she uses all of it to keep from jumping out of her skin.

“What? I - no, she’s joking. We’re friends. Really.”

His grin is distractingly crooked. “I’m convinced.”

“I’m gonna kill her,” Annabeth mutters, hoping against hope that she’s not blushing, or something equally ridiculous.

“That’s probably not going to help in court.”

Her brain is - slowly - retreating out of coffee-and-study survival mode. A joke, she realises belatedly, and the rueful laugh escapes her before she can think to bite it back. And - something in coffee guy’s shoulders relaxes, just a little bit. Nervous, she thinks, and finds herself predisposed to like him. Smart boys know to think very carefully before approaching Annabeth Chase, and that’s the way she likes it.

She tucks an errant curl behind her ear. “I’ll plea insanity. Over-caffeination.” She glances down at her cup. “Actually, would you mind–?”

His face scrunches up with something like concern. “That’ll be your sixth cup.”

“Aren’t you the guy who’s been topping me up?”

“Grover seemed to think you might, I dunno, eat us or something if you ran out. I was protecting the good people of the cafe, but apparently cutting you off means stopping a murder.”

A groan escapes her, something like shame crawling up the back of her throat. Annabeth knows she’s got a serious case of resting bitch face (and she’ll fight anyone who suggests that’s a problem),but she doesn’t want the entire campus to be terrified of her.

Just wary.

“I’m not…actually some hyper-violent lady with a hair-trigger, honestly.”

“Oh hey no, I didn’t mean to–” And he’s groaning? He rubs the back of his neck, which is slowly turning red, and Annabeth starts to feel less off-kilter. “I’m bad at flirting.”

She’s definitely going to murder Piper. This is her fault somehow, Annabeth’s sure.

“Same,” she rushes out, before over-thinking can make this even messier. Her whole body feels energised, jittery, and she doesn’t think it’s the coffee. “Um. Just one more refill? To get me through the last bit of this chapter?”

“Wh - uh, right. Sure!” He squints at her. “You don’t mind?”

Annabeth rocks her mug from side to side, watching the dregs of her drink slosh from side to side. Black, no sugar. It seems like the safer option right now.

She takes a breath.

“Haven’t decided yet,” she says. “I’ll let you know when i’m done with this chapter.”

She’s not looking at him directly, but his grin is wide enough to be seen from space, let alone the corner of her eye.

“You got it,” he says happily, topping her mug off. He’s on the verge of pulling away when he pauses, like he’s remembered something. “It’s Percy, by the way. So you don’t have to keep calling me coffee guy.”

And then he’s gone, leaving Annabeth to seriously reconsider committing that murder.

Small Bump | 01

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader.

Words: 1,897.

Genre: Angst, fluff(?).

Summary: “Things you said when you were scared.”

A/N: I’ve decided to jump on the train and write these small drabbles based on various prompts as a way to take a break from my super long fics and have a different creative outlet. ALSO, highkey based on the song Small Bump by Ed Sheeran.

Keep reading

I know we’re all so jittery about that eye-fucking but can we just take a moment to appreciate Robin and Cory’s acting skills? They were able to make a 10 second scene thick with tension and an abundance of emotions and make that the highlight of the episode. I seriously am constantly astounded at their insane chemistry. 


i drew @tidorito‘s cute lil horror boy 

i also made a maybe?? horror sans??? his name is spots tho and hes kind of like a circus ringleader? (i was listening to my circus playlist so)

Villainous Headcanons Part 3
  • The gang tends to draw stares when out among the general public, and when someone stares, Demencia hisses at them. This mortifies Flug and angers Black Hat (it looks bad for business) but she does it anyway, and it has its desired effect: gawkers don’t hang around long
  •  As much as they smack each other around, if any outsider messes with one of them all hell breaks loose
  •  Their house is full of multi-dimensional portals, a la Howl’s Moving Castle. As they were put in place by Black Hat, it’s imperative to know exactly which doors lead where before you try to open one
  •  BH and Flug are both fond of coffee but Flug can only drink decaf, because too much caffeine makes him even more jittery than usual. His coffee is kept separate from Black Hat’s, but Demencia switched the containers once as a joke. This was not a good day for anyone involved
  •  Demencia adores Flug, even though she loves to give him hell. She’s like the pestering little sister whose sole purpose in life is to aggravate their older sibling, but she looks up to him and loves him to death. She’s been known to bite strangers who get too close to Flug or question him on his appearance
  • Demencia and 5.0.5 absolutely love, love, LOVE books and stories. It’s one of the few things that Dementia will actually settle down for and 5.0.5 won’t instantly fall asleep to. Demencia can read, but prefers to be read to, and often pesters Flug to do it. They spend many evenings like this, and Black Hat always just happens to be in the room somewhere, lurking in a corner pretending to be occupied with something but secretly listening in
  • Once or twice, the others glance over and catch BH listening with genuine interest. Black Hat proceeds to conjure some eldritch horror out of whatever book they’re all reading
  • He later tries to market this as an “evil illustration service” for viliainous authors