alright lemme tell you a story

so i’m on turbine (accompanied by vincent, skye, aether, and jing) and we’re just playing a couple of rounds, nothing much. nothing huge because turbine’s our like, third or fourth map by now as we play hats.

but then, i get the intel.

now, if you’ve played with me on any ctf/sd map, or if you’ve read some of my previous tf2 stories, you may know this one fact about me in particular: i do not cap. okay, admittedly, that’s a bit of a hyperbole: i do cap sometimes, but often, i will just. not cap. i consider myself (and my fellow non-cappers) our own little nocap squad.

anyway, on the aforementioned turbine server, i nabbed the enemy intel. it just so happened to be the last one before round ending

noticing this as i ran back to red intel room, i did not cap. i hopped around a bit, squatted beside the engie’s dispenser, and i just didn’t traipse into the little designated ‘capture zone’ which would give us the win.

this did not sit well with somebody, with one person in particular.

so Yankee Doodle Dr. hops onto voice chat and starts telling me to cap. after a few games/map switches of tf2, i can very easily grow salty. responses i gave to them were along the lines of “excuse me who even are you?” and “shut up”. it was rude, i know it was rude to a person who sounded like a 12 year old child, but it gets worse better.

they tried to kick me.

just so you know, it didn’t work. i had the above mentioned four people on my side and i guess the rest of the team either didn’t care, didn’t vote, or they wanted to witness this spectacle unfold even further.

and as spectacles are wont to do, it continued. another teammate hopped onto voice chat:

this person was also rather unhappy about the current state of things. they, too, told me to cap. this person also has, to loosely quote vincent, “two memes in [their] name and a pony icon”.

i did not cap.

but at this point, after all the yelling from these people, and the occasional witty retorts from the rest of the =(yIFF)= crew, i was laughing so hard i wasnt even listening to these people, i had more important things in mind

one thing that came out of my mouth was something like “ummmm excuse me ??? you don’t even have 200 followers on soundcloud” because i was getting cocky. and why shouldnt i?

three attempts to kick me have failed (much to my disdain:)

we were not merciful in being un-annoying

they even tried to kick jing (Voluptous Velociraptor, above) and aether but we didn’t let that happen


and then

but that left us with pony icon/memer name! and they were understandably saltier than before

the general =(yIFF)= response was rather enthusiastic (and snarky, to boot):

…but enough was enough, one can only laugh for so long at bullshit before one needs to tell everyone about said bullshit

and to think, all this wouldn’t have happened had they just allowed my nocap to continue on its merry way.