jim poole

If David Harbour (Hopper from “Stranger Things”) actually gets the Cable role, I expect at least one “Stranger Things” joke from Deadpool.

Some jokes from the top of my head:

“Cable, you need to relax. It’s just morning and you’re already pissed off. Remember…mornings are for coffee and contemplation.

“Yes Cable, I know what you’re thinking. I TOO would like to have sex with Winona Ryder. I know you never mentioned her name since this movie started but you seem to be the kind of guy who’d be into her, wink wink.”

“PANCAKES FOR EVERYBODY! And a single Eggo waffle for you Cable.”

“Jesus Christ, Summers, is your answer to everything just to punch them in the face?!” 

“Nate, you can make the jump! Hop on over! Or should I say…hop-per on over!”

“Cable, you have experience with all things upside down, right? Can you twist my head around, it got mixed around after that fight with Arclight.” 

“Just like my buddy Cable here, I too have lost my Will to live.”

anonymous asked:

A McKirk AU based on your generic father figure Craigslist add you just posted Bones is the dad

  • It was the joke that wasn’t really a joke – but something Jim didn’t expect anyone to take serious at all. Craigslist allows odd ads all the time, why would “generic father figure” be taken serious by anyone? And yet, Jim’s phone exploded the moment he posted that stupid ad. So much so, that after some deliberation with roommates Chekov, Uhura, and Sulu, they decide to just host an open day to meet all “generic father figures” for their BBQ party. And boy, do these figures not disappoint.
  • There’s literally 20 dads just looking to get away from their “generic fatherly duties” for the evening, and instead be a pretend-dad to a bunch of early college graduates who haven’t quite figured out how to adult yet. Most of them are only in it for the food and some time with youngsters. Couple of them openly hit on Uhura – they’re dismissed quickly. “We’re looking for a father figure,” Sulu says as he guides those men out the door, “not a daddy.”
  • Jim doesn’t particularly care who they pick, because he just wants to eat and get drunk. And so he’s not really part of the auditions, mostly just on his phone, and all. But then there’s one that catches his interest instantly. A bit too young to have 18 years of experience. “Jo’s only 8,” the guy admits, “I want to take her with me to this party of yours.” “Oh,” Chekov says immediately, “I don’t think that’s what we’re looking f-“ “We’ll take it,” Jim says instantly, reaching out to shake the guy’s hand, “see you Friday.”
  • “The fuck, Jim?” Sulu says after Leonard left, and Jim shrugs. “Can’t have a generic father figure without a generic annoying little sibling, too.” “Chekov is our annoying little sibling,” Uhura says, “we’re going to get drunk. I’m going to get Spock drunk. Sulu will probably be making out with Ben all night. This isn’t really a good environment for an 8 year old.” “He fancied Leonard,” Chekov says, and Jim huffs. “I did not-“ “Oh my God,” Uhura says, “that’s it. You fancy that grumpy doctor father.”
  • And he does. He really does. It’s a big party, but Jim lingers around the BBQ much longer than he needs to. There’s handfuls of beautiful men and women around. All laughing, eating, drinking, and some are goofing around in that inflatable pool Jim bought on a whim. And Jim knows, putting his mind to it, he could probably get a couple phone numbers. And still, he talks to Leonard. Chats with Joanna. Eats way more than he can, but it gives him an excuse to stick around the grill a little longer.
  • Grumpy doctor isn’t nearly as grumpy as he was during this “audition”, frequently smiling with a beer and talking about things he’s passionate about. So maybe that’s not the sports and stuff Jim wrote down as a requirement, but it’s still something, and Jim finds himself listening to him speak. About being a doctor, about Joanna, about his love for movies, and Jim’s like: “well, we should go see one together sometime” before he even realizes it. Leonard looks at him a little surprised, but then ultimately nods and says: “sure.”
  • “You totally fancy him,” Uhura says a day or two later, after they’ve cleaned up the whole place. Theyre just enjoying a cold beer on the porch, and now Uhura’s putting him on the spot. “I don’t fancy him,” Jim says, “I’m simply interested in him. One human being to another.” “Jim!” Joanna calls out, waving at them as she passes their house, and Jim instantly smiles at Leonard. “Hey, both of you. Where are you going?” “The park,” Joanna says, “are you coming, too?” “Sure!” Jim says, getting up instantly, and he shoots Uhura a glare before she can say anything.
  • They spend the afternoon in the park, and when Leonard asks Jim to join him and Jo for a few rounds of putt-putt, Jim readily agrees. “Let me take you two out for dinner,” Jim suggests afterwards, and Leonard shakes his head. “You don’t have to do that. I can pay for us.” “No, no,” Jim says, “I can pay. Nothing fancy, but I can pay. Pizza or burgers?”
  • The things he does with them is so mundane, compared to his usual lifestyle, but he finds he’s actually enjoying their company much more than the mindlessly getting drunk and partying. Joanna stays with Jim when Bones is called in for surgery, and that’s pretty much when Uhura and the others fall for Joanna’s personality, and is accepted as one of their roommates. When Bones returns later that night with french fries and chicken wings, Bones is, too.
  • As great as it is, it’s also really frustrating, because he’s increasingly more attracted to this man, whom he spends almost all of his free time with. They go out for movies, they cook together at Leonard’s place, or prepare something for everyone in Jim’s household. And the more Jim spends time with him, the more he also misses being intimate with people. Not just any people, like before, though. Leonard. “Are you okay?” Leonard asks, and Jim shrugs. “I think so,” he replies. They’ve been spending the evening at Jim’s place. Much food, and many boardgames later, it’s just the two of them. “You think so?” Leonard presses, and Jim sighs. “I just. I feel like I’m basically your boyfriend, but we’re not. Right? I mean, I’m the boyfriend without the benefits.” “The benefits?” Leonard repeats, “you mean sex.” “Basically,” Jim agrees, “but I didn’t know. I mean, how do you even see us?” “I think there’s more benefits to dating someone than just sex, for starters,” Leonard replies. “I didn’t mean it like that,” Jim says, “I’ll happily spend time with you even if you don’t, you know-“ but Leonard leans in and kisses him. Slowly, leaving Jim breathless. “Does that answer your question?” Leonard asks, and Jim smiles lightly. “I think… maybe, you should show me again, a few times.”