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Sometimes one life, if it’s the right life, it’s enough.

And then there’s this smile. The finale smile. A smile so incredibly emotional and tender. John is happy because Harold is going to make it. Harold is walking away to his happy ending. John doesn’t care about dying. He’s accepted death as inevitable a long time ago. What he cares about is everyone else. What matters to him is what he does in the meantime. And above all, protecting Harold. Because Harold saved his life, and saves lives. Harold is one of the those persons the world can’t afford to lose, and that John can’t afford to lose. He couldn’t save Jessica, he couldn’t save Joss. But he saved Harold. And really, that’s all that matters to him.

And in that smile, you can read the affection and gratitude for the man who saved his life, and gave him another chance. The man who gave him the opportunity to be the hero John always wanted to be. And in that smile, you can read the satisfaction of having finally succeeded in saving the one life that matters.

Yes I cried, yes it still hurts. Yes, it’s just not exactly the same to look up at a surveillance camera, cause now if my number comes up, it’s not John who’ll come to my rescue. I cried, but at the same time, I never felt as much love for John, because this is exactly why I love him so much.

John is one of the most selfless persons in the world. He always puts you before him. He literally puts himself between you and danger. He takes the bullet for you. That’s just who John is. It’s in his DNA. He protects people. And that’s his purpose in life. That’s who he chose to be, who he wants to be.

So that smile means everything to me. It tells me that John died a happy man. At peace with himself, with the satisfaction of knowing the mission was accomplished. In the show, he’s cheated death more than once. He even died twice in simulations. Every time, those deaths would have been defeats. Betrayals, unexpected lucky shots or even his own hand…. But here, on that rooftop, it was his moment, his choice, his victory. For Harold, for the team, for the world.

So it’s like that smile is also a little bit for me, telling me “it’s okay, I’m happy. There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”



(Sidenote: I know lots of fans didn’t like the finale and have strong feelings against it. I respect that, but I would ask you to respect the fact that I do love the finale, and thus to refrain from using this post to spread negativity against the show, the finale or the writers. Thank you ♥)

And one day I’ll write up why I love the finale.