A/N: because I’m lame and this is for @officialjily who is lovely and wonderful.
Summary: Lily likes horses. James is an idiot. Sirius is unhelpful. It goes from there.
On the morning of her thirteenth birthday Lily Evans experiences (for the first time) the feeling of something very wet pushing against her nose.
This would not have been as remarkable as it was however, if Lily Evans was not currently dreaming about lying to Professor Gibbins about her Astronomy assignment and he was in no way interested in pushing something wet against her face at all.
So when Lily Evans finally opened her blurry eyes and brushed away a strand of brown hair, oddly dangling in her direct line of vision she thinks nothing of it really.
Clearly she is still dreaming because her hair is red, not mousy brown.
But she feels awake she realises, so Lily Evans blinks again and, upon noticing the thing in front her murmurs “hi horse” and closes her eyes again.
Then rips them back open.
A large crash can be heard from outside the dormitory door, along with a cry of “oof, Sirius!” and another scream from one Marlene McKinnon as she topples out of her bed.
“AHHHHHHH HOLY MOTHER OF-”
“SURPRISE!” Cries a gangly boy as he flings himself out from the doorway and promptly trips over his fallen friend.
“Lily what- FUCKING HELL IS TH-” this from a crazed and alarmed Evangeline Watts who promptly falls off her own bed and onto a shaking Marlene.
“POTTER” cries Lily in a state of panic and anger, “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS”
James Potter (now standing up) assesses the situation and realises he may have pulled, what Moony often called, “a major cock up”. “Happy birthday?” He tries.
“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU” screams Lily again as Sirius gets up and starts slowly backing away.
“But Lily” James tries again meekly, “you love Horses”
“THAT DOES NOT MEAN I WANT TO WAKE UP TO ONE IN MY BLOODY DORMITORY YOU IDIOT”
“Don’t worry Evans, it’s very well trained” adds Sirius in a attempt to assure Lily’s dorm mates, half of whom are still sprawled on the floor.
“WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT” yells Lily, rounding on Sirius.
“Because it’s Peter”
The girls turn, speechless, towards the small horse who raises a hoof and waves.
“Now he might shit on your carpet but-” the pillow hits Sirius in the jaw and James jumps in, alarmed at the violent turn the morning has taken.
“Now Evans I-”
“WHAT THE HELL-”
“You’re over reacting”
“I’M OVER REACTING” she rages, leaping off the bed and nearly onto Marlene, who has just gotten up from the floor, “THERE IS A HORSE, LITERALLY A HORSE, IN MY ROOM. HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO REACT WITH OUT OVER REACTING TO THE LITERAL HORSE IN MY ROOM?!”
"It’s meant to be a birthday present-”
“HOW IS TURNING YOUR FRIEND INTO A HORSE IN ANY SHAPE OR FORM, A GOOD BIRTHDAY PRESENT”
“Well the birthday presents not for him you see-”
“Prongs I-” a panting Remus Lupin runs into the doorway at this and leans on his hands, “whew, for a second there I thought you and Sirius had gone through with that stupid horse pl-” then he looks up, sees a furious, half dressed Lily standing next to a shell shocked Marlene and a bewildered Evangeline and (of course) the horse standing next to Lily’s bed, looking a little put out.
“Oh shit” is how Remus Lupin finishes his sentence
“You know Evans it’s rude to criticise gifts people have given you, I mean we worked long and hard and Peter had to make the big choice to become a horse in the first place and I mean, sure, we bullied him into it but he really committed and I th-“
This time Lily’s pillow hits Sirius in the gut, and he is momentarily winded which gives James an opportunity to make one more desperate plea.
"But Lily, its your birthday and you-”
“POTTER I AM GOING TO SKIN YOU ALIVE AND TURN YOU INTO A HAT AND THEN IM GOING TO SKIN PETER AND TURN HIM INTO A MATCHING COAT”
This is final straw for Peter, who has only been abused since he arrived transfigured into a horse no less, so he turns on his hoof and gallops from the room, but not before stamping on Sirius’s foot for good measure.
This left the room in stunned silence for a moment as the fact that they had all watched a horse gallop out of a doorway settled over everyone.
Sirius (of course) recovered first.
“Well then” he says, grabbing James’s arm, “it’s been fun, have a good one Evans, cheerio.” and he limps very fast from the room, pulling a subdued James along after him.
“Sorry Lily” says Remus and runs from the doorway after his friends.
“Well” breathes Evangeline, shifting her weight and raising her eyebrows at her furious friend “Not to be a git but Lily you do really like horse-”
The flying pillow hits her in the mouth