‘Why in the bloomin’ fuck did we let you convince us that this was going to be a good idea, Sirius?’
James, about twenty back in the queue for the nastiest toilet cubicles to exist on planet Earth, shot Sirius a look that probably would have struck anyone else down immediately. Sirius grinned, grabbed James by the shoulders and shook, 'The music! The energy! The adventure!’
James smacked Sirius’ hands from his shoulders, 'No fucking part of this reads “adventure,” mate.’
Granted, they’d only been at the festival for a few hours, had only set up their tents and gone to see a few of the afternoon acts, but James was confident that the rest of the weekend would prove as non-adventurey as the first few hours.
Sirius rounded on Remus, 'What say you, love? Are you in the Glastonbury spirit yet?’
Remus sighed, 'I’m saying that you’re lucky you’re fit, because I also really want to kill you right now.’
they broke up at the end of Hogwarts and Lily now only thinks about James 5 times a day, maybe four if she’s lucky and everything is going fine until they are paired together in auror training class. NSFW.
“I can do this,” she breathed, “I can do anything.”
was right in front of her. It didn’t seem like a simulation when the child
cried so loud that the sound was piercing Lily’s eardrums. It was on the floor, surrounded by three cloaked
figures pointing wands at its small form. Around Lily there were two other
cloaked figures attempting to disarm her. Around her the walls of the
simulation room were dark and only fake street lamps lit spaces in yellow haze.
Lily waved her wand and the two dummy death eaters bounced off the opposite
wall, simply exploding into pieces, as they were made by enchantment.
child on the floor was as much an enchantment as the cloaked figures wrecking
havoc but Lily’s heart was still racing. She was determined to prove that she
could handle herself out in the real world—where the spells were deadly and the
children were real. Lily’s green eyes assessed that there was marginal gap
between the three cloaked figures surrounding the child. She surmised that if
she could pull the child form the middle of the group, she could get the child
from danger easily.
off at a run and slid like a baseball player slid from base to base, her knees
skidding across the training room floor. She went between the cloaked figures
circling the child. Lily’s fingers gripped the cold doll arm, staring up into
the blank faces of robotic death eaters. She remembered that yesterday, she’d
been told she didn’t make sure her citizen was all right while before pulling
them to safety.
glanced down for two seconds at the child, “Don’t worry, I’ve got you—“
sooner had she looked away from her opponents to assure the child, one of the
cloaked figures behind Lily shot sparks fro his wand and Lily felt the sparks
hit her back, stinging her with a hex so that her legs cramped. Lily tried to
block the child while spells ricocheted off her back, making it feel as though
someone was pelting her with rather large rocks.
how many time do I have to tell you to watch your back?”
dropped the child in defeat and stood up, wincing as the mannequins continued pummeling
her, “At least another—ouch ten—ouch—times.”
literally I spent 40 minutes writing some but then tumblr decided to delete them so imma cri so here are some more shitty headcannons that probs don’t make sense but nvm I love doing this lmao 🍍
like so many people asked for a part 2 so here you go, if you haven’t read part one yet it’s somewhere further down my blog (I’m not good at this tumblr thing ok so I don’t know how to link the previous one don’t laugh at me ok) but yano
basically I got the idea for a marauders book shop themed au so I wrote a couples of lines of random drabble and literally could not stop like you cannot expect me not to world build ok so here you go 💩
•when harry makes the quidditch team sirius and James send him a howler which is literally 15 minutes of them both getting really excited like MY SON IS THE YOUNGEST EVER QUIDDITCH PLAYER IN HOGWARTS I AM SO FREAKING PROUD I CANNOT EVEN SAY HI TO PROFFESOR MOONY FOR ME
•sirius, james and peter go to every quidditch match each week without fail and always embarrass the hell out harry every week like OHH HARRY ISNT THAT THAT GINNY GIRL YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON but he is secretly super happy to have such fabulous nerds for his family the tears are real
•jily decide to have another kid but they can’t find the right time to tell Harry so he comes home for the Christmas holidays like wtf mum why r u so huge is that where all my chocolate frogs went
•the baby is born two days before Christmas and it’s a baby girl who they decide to call Florence and the twins are like wtf what is that but everyone else is crying bc she’s so damn cute
•peter is the godfather (remus is the twins’ godfather don’t worry) and Marlene is the godmother and he’s like ayy are we god-married then and she’s just like come over here and kiss me you goofball
•they all have Christmas dinner in the back of the shop and the weasleys and hermoine’s family and the longbottoms come over and Harry is just so damn happy to be with his amazing family and friends that he nearly cries on multiple occasions WHAT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE AMIRITE
•he and ginny go into the back room to help wash up and they get stuck under the mistletoe and they kiss at the exact moment that lily and Sirius walk in the door and Sirius is like KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS HARRY and it’s really awkward but hilarious lmaooo
•they all go caroling around all the nearby houses and it’s just so perfect bc it starts snowing and everyone is so warm and fuzzy inside and love each other so much ummmm brb gonna go cry
•the children go out and have snowball fights around the back of the shop and the adults (not including Sirius and James bc they’re as big a children as any of them and I’ll be damned if they didn’t go out to join in that snowball fight to kick their asses) stay inside drinking cocoa and cooing over Florence bc she’s so cute 💘
idek why this was so Christmas themed when it’s september but yano I’m not complaining 🍍
tell me if you guys want part three ok 👍
Hey, look. Another Ed Sheeran inspired fic. You tired of these yet? This gets a bit obnoxiously inspired at the end because hot damn I could not resist. Well, actually, the middle – it was originally going to be the end but they decided to fuck instead so… fairly explicit smut ahead? I don’t know how to class this, people – <overshare> but if we’re classing smut based on a 1-10 ‘how thirsty is the author’ scale, this is about a 100000000 </overshare>. ANYWAY – No, I didn’t put the lyrics actually in the bloody thing, but I recommend a listen (if only because this is a damn good song).
Also – last one shot for a while. After the next chapter of The Underground goes up (this weekend???) I’m going on fic hiatus until mid-May because your girl has seminar papers to write. I know, I’m crying too.
Summary: James is in a band, Lily is thirsty af. Muggle AU, Met in a Pub AU (a thing?), Smut.
It was loud and sweaty and the air smelled like hard liquor and beer and the cigarette smoke wafting in off the street. Her local was normally a quiet, subdued place (though it occasionally got a bit rowdy on pub quiz night) - it was a lowkey pub, the bartenders were all really nice (though she had her favourite), and the regulars were cool. On New Act Fridays, though, the place exploded. It was a scene she’d long since moved on from since leaving uni, one full of writhing bodies and spilled drinks, but she always made a special exception for what was, probably, her favourite pub event. So, it seemed, did everyone the hell else in Leytonstone.
Lily tipped her head in thanks to the bartender as he dropped off her third gin and tonic, squeezed the lime into her glass, turned back around on her stool. She swirled her drink, leaned her back up against the bar, and surveyed the crowd. Everyone was largely chatting amongst themselves while they waited for the next act to get set up - a few people were pressed up against the wall and snogging furiously in the far corner, but Lily knew the number would at least double by the end of the night.
There was a pair of men on the small stage in the corner, a lanky blonde and a tall one with a mop of jet black hair, setting up their instruments as they prepped for, Lily assumed, their set. A man with a leather jacket stumbled out of the crowd, grabbed the blonde one by the neck with one hand, a fistful of his white t-shirt in his other, whispered something in his ear, pressed a kiss to his lips - the blonde smiled, beamed, before shoving the man, now laughing so loudly Lily could hear him from across the pub, off the stage.
Her eyes flicked away from them as the blonde sat down at his drums, began twisting something she couldn’t see - she turned back to the black haired man. He was fiddling with the tuning pegs on his guitar, his fingers plucking the strings, a look of deep concentration on his face. She moved her eyes over the long, lean muscles on his forearm, the tendons popping out in that absurdly sexy way that they always seem to do on guitar players, took another sip of her drink. He was part-way through tuning the fifth string when his eyes snapped up and met hers almost immediately, like he’d felt her eyes on him. She couldn’t tell what colour his eyes were, not from this distance, but she watched his gaze travel slowly down her body (her breath caught in her throat) before his eyes met hers again and he arched an eyebrow. Lily bit her lip - his lips hitched up into a cocky, lopsided smirk.
So last night this post got me, @elanev91 & @levins18 into fit of hysterics. This story is a result of those hysterics. I blame levins, as per usual, for finding all the fun things to reblog, like vine compilations. NSFW b/c I’m a horrible person.
Smaragdine. (Greek/Latin) loosely interpreted as “rare
emerald”. In alchemy, the Smaragdine Tablet was used by Flamel to invent the
Philospher’s Stone, giving the owner and his lover the ability to live forever.
They get under his skin more than any other eyes have been able.
White snow falls around James, placing mismatched white dots on her black cloak. She’d found him sitting in the bar alone watching the ice melt in his drink. Lily had simply brushed her fingers along his shoulders (her cheeks rosy from the weather) and James had paid his tab immediately, ignoring the rest of the russet colored drink by his fingertips.
They play their amusements gracelessly. He doesn’t like to take it slow and she doesn’t ever know how to jump without diving in headfirst so it’s no surprise when he falls in love effortlessly under the shiver-inducing glare of her green eyes. Sometimes he feels like he’s sleepwalking in the dark and can’t keep up with her lighthearted dance but then her touch wakes him like lightening each time their skin touches.
Here, we have the Airbnb fic requested by a Tumblr anon (you guys - my best friend has confessed to being this anon but THEN THEY TOOK IT BACK after I was like ‘I’M CALLING YOU OUT SO HARD IN MY AUTHOR’S NOTE" (I know, I just shouldn’t have said that, but, as previously discussed, I’m too Gryffindor to function) and you have no idea of the mental anguish I’ve been putting myself through to figure out which story is true (though shout out and a million thanks to them for naming the company mentioned below and for a million other details I’ve included here)). Either way, FIC! UNWIELDY, MASSIVE FIC!
Also, note: Remus is disabled in this fic. As a non-disabled person, I’m writing based on my own research/understanding, and I don’t speak at all for anyone who might have a similar experience.
Summary: Lily and Marlene have ventured to sunny Venice Beach, CA to escape their British “summer” – their Airbnb host is pretty fit (and his mates aren’t half bad either).
'Why on fucking earth did I let you convince me to come to California?’
Marlene was glaring at Lily as they waited for their Lyft outside of LAX, a thin sheen of sweat already coating her face. 'I told you not to wear jeans,’ Lily said, raising an amused eyebrow. Marlene smacked her arm, 'You could have mentioned that it would be thirty fucking five here!’
Lily clicked her tongue, nodded seriously, 'Oh, right, I forgot you can’t look things up yourself.’
Marlene frowned, but Lily could tell she was biting back a laugh, 'You know what Evans - ’
Lily’s mobile buzzed in her hand, 'Oh, look at that, our Lyft is here.’
She double checked the car that had pulled up against the black VW Tiguan the app told her they were waiting for and smiled at Marlene, 'Ready?’
Marlene sighed, 'This car better have aircon.’ Lily rolled her eyes, 'I think they have aircon everywhere in the States.’
Warnings: Smut, language, smut, dirty talk, smut and Dom!Sirius Black and oh, maybe a little bit of smut????
Word count: 1867
A/N: So I decided that my first Sirius Black fic needed to be Dom!Sirius being a jerk and teasing reader. This is deliciously sinful for all my sinners who want a ticket to hell…
Sirius likes to tease. No big deal right? except his timing is impeccable and he decides to tease you in Potions, the git.
It was just an ordinary Monday morning. Breakfast was bland but normal; you sat beside Lily while Marlene murmured excitedly about Quidditch and Mary complained that she had eaten far too much. Mary loved food as much as Marlene loved Quidditch but that didn’t change the fact that both conversations were boring.
Lily listened politely with somewhat mild interest while your thoughts drifted to the previous night. A mess of tangled limbs and skin flush against skin. Heated kisses, dark purple hickies (that you had to cover with magical make-up), and a deliciously painful ache between your legs. Desire trickled down your spine, desire pooling in your panties, and you shuddered.
“Alright, (Y/N)?” Dorcas asked and you nodded quickly, banishing those thoughts away.
First up was Potions with Slughorn. You weren’t too bad at Potions, though sitting with Lily improved your skills considerably. Mainly because she often whispered instructions to you and helped you with tricky concoctions, otherwise you were sure your cauldron would explode.
“Okay, class, settle down now,” said Slughorn over the chatter of the class. The noise died down to faint whispers as Slughorn began to scribble on the board.
“Since your last assignments were complete disasters-“
“Awfully nice of you, Professor,” called Sirius Black from the back of the class and you turned, smirking at the Marauder. Slughorn ignored him. It was habit for Slughorn to ignore Sirius.
“-I have decided to assign you partners that you will sit with for the remainder of the term.”
There was an outburst of disgruntled groans from the class, and you gave Lily a worried look. Slughorn’s voice rose above the moans of complaints filling the classroom and everyone fell reluctantly silent.
“Here are your new partners, if you could please find your way to their seats, quietly.”
Slughorn handed you a minimalistic map of the classroom and you scanned the sheet quickly, searching for your name. You spotted it, but before you could see who you were sitting next to, a voice boomed from the back of the classroom, rippling through the quiet chatter of the class.
“(Y/N)! Over here!”
It was Sirius. Sirius Black. Sirius fucking Black.
currently I am att the hospital waiting for my nan tto get out of surgery so I thought I would write some quick things.
REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!
* lots of neck kisses
* I mean LOTS
* hugs from behind when you least expect it
* him laying hi head in your lap
* and you playing with his hair
* the marauders being really surprised that youre together for so long
* because with Sirius it’s usually just sex and then goodbyes
* but they realize that that boy really loves you
* a whole damn lot
* hickeys because he likes seeing you flustered in the morning about how to hide them
* “Sirius everyone’s going to notice!”
* “ Good. Then everyone will know who you belong to.”
* “ McGonagall will not be happy and you know it.”
* “because she secretly wants me.”
* hogsmeade trips with the boys
* and hogsmeade trips with just Sirius
*sex all the time
*but also passionate slow sex
*he sometimes asks Remus for romantic advice
*because Remus is a hopeless romantic
*and Sirius never was until he met you
Request a part II or anything else!
The pub is raucous tonight. It seems like everyone and their mum decided to hit up the Three Broomsticks, and Rosmerta only had time to sling their drinks across the counter before hustling off to deal with another round of patrons. It just errs on the side of uncomfortable; the close packed bodies, the almost deafening levels of chatter, the slowly building humidity that leaves his skin damp, even after he rolled up the sleeves of his flannel in an attempt to cool down.
It’s a bit chaotic, but then again, he thrives off of chaos. At least, that’s what he says after watching some bloke spill his drink on a girl in an attempt to feel her up, only to receive a punch to the jaw. It results in a minor scuffle and he just sits off to the side observing it. It reminds him of an Andy Warhol painting for some reason; just a blur of colour and movement.
James Potter is not good at flip cup.
Or, more accurately, he’s not good at this blaspheme of flip cup that Sirius came up with. He’s making them chug a bitter stout instead of beer, and James grimaces the whole way through, costing him and Remus significant time.
He gives up after the third round of losing- he doesn’t hate himself that much, plus he’s sure that if he doesn’t wash down the taste with something else, his tastebuds would never forgive him- and Sirius pats him on the back.
“Oh don’t be sad, Prongs,” he says, pinching his cheeks.
James bats his hands away. “You’re a sadistic bastard.”
“Funny, that’s what my mum used to call me growing up.”