Gunther, it looks like you and your brother simply will not stay your asses at
home lately, and I keep finding your homework in the litterboxes. You two better keep your grades up because I have made important cat adoption plans for the minute you leave for college!
pretending to be a responsible father is cute but you can relax, we’re
definitely gonna study today! I mean it’s Sunday
morning, what else are we gonna do? Hit the clubs?
at the Lulu Lounge! Loving that red carpet, Jojo this is the place for you.
know, I feel so at home.
Well you do
look great, especially next to our car!
Do you guys
remember Komei’sboxingthing that he has thankfully stopped doing? I think
that apart from the jaw, Jojo has also inherited those faulty genetics, because
all he wants to do at any given moment is play this stupid punching game. Not
only is it annoying as fuck but pretty disturbing as well. I’m talking Anastasia Steele teas.
Gunther! Punch me like you mean it!
Ugh freak. Time to hit something else.. the dancefloor!
MY BEAUTIFUL DARCY HAIR! I WISH MOM HAD MORNING-AFTER-PILLED YOU
Thank god the tension is quickly overcome with some inappropriate brotherly dancing!
-Nice, now knee me in the testicles, Gunther!
JFC. Jojo really, I’m not judging, but this is a legacy not the fucking Story of O. Let’s at least find someone who is not a blood relation to beat you up?
Like blondie here, look he’s cute and he wants to dance with you!
-UGH gross, not only is he age appropriate but I don’t even see a ring on that finger! Hard pass. OMG. IT’S HIM. HE’S HERE.
What? No, that’s impossible, there is no fucking way-
WELL FUCK ME I GUESS. WHAT THE FUCK. STEPHEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ON A SUNDAY MORNING
-Sunday morning, time to cut loose, am I right?
NO YOU’RE NOT. GO HOME TO YOUR FAMILY I’M TRYING TO CURE JOJO OF THIS OBSESSION. GET OUT BEFORE HE COMES OVER
………………………………….fucking jfc I’m so done. Jojo I hate you.
-Well well well… Following me now, Stephen? Oh how the tables have turned..
-What? Do I know you?
-Haha that’s funny. So this is how you wanna play this then? Alright. Yes, I am a complete stranger..
-Oh wait, you’re that legacy freak that keeps spying on my family, aren’t you?
-That’s right I am. Does that turn you on?
-WHAT. NO IT DOES NOT WHAT THE FUCK
-You can stop playing hard to get, you have me already..
-I’M GETTING A RESTRAINING ORDER AS SOON AS I LEARN YOUR NAME
-Well he can say what he wants but he did buy me a drink..
NO HE DIDN’T HE LEFT AND YOU STOLE HIS DRINK
-I fail to see the difference.
OF COURSE YOU DO. Let’s gtfo before you get arrested.
We go to Rodney’s Hideout to literally hide out. Gunther runs into Ruskie and things immediately escalate..
..while Jojo finally has one solitary bolt with someone and it’s Craig here, who is very cute and also..
A NERD. We have struck gold! Jojo don’t fuck this up istg.
-I can’t believe I’m saying this to someone who is not my mother but.. I don’t hate you.
The very definition of different speeds. But it doesn’t matter, we’re getting there, just keep up the non disturbing conversation about hats, Jo!
-So you see, Craig, just as Napoleon thought the battle was his, he sees a sea of Prussian spiked helmets, or pickelhaubes, approaching-
-Actually, the Prussian military did not adopt the pickelhaube until 1842, it’s a common misconception aided by representations of the battle of Waterloo in modern media..
Oh dear god we’re gonna be here all night.
Even Mrs Crumplebottom doesn’t care enough to interrupt this lameness.
-I don’t know when I’ll be able to go on a date with you, Craig, as I don’t subscribe to the arbitrary concept of ‘time’..
Ok you know what, NO. Get up.
There we fucking go. WAS THAT SO HARD
-You are pretty attractive even though your clothes are. ridiculous.
LMAO take a look in the mirror lately Jo? Whatever, Craig likes you for some unfathomable reason so let’s do this already.
If you’re wondering what Gunther was doing during this time, it was watching his harem smustle. He had 2 bolts with Ivy but Ruskie wouldn’t gtfo so we’re getting to Ivy later. As if we’d let her escape!
Busting a move worked like a charm on Craig, legit god knows why. Craig you’re a fucking weirdo.
-I can’t help it, he looks so cool!
Is cool the right word for it? Is it really?
Fucking oedipal istg. STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR MOM AND MAKE A MOVE YOU’RE EXHAUSTING
-Honestly, my dear, far be it from me to criticize my mother in any way, but I really don’t know what she was thinking marrying Komei!
Yea let us guess who you would prefer she marry instead.. Gee that’s a tough one.
Yes, there we go, we’re so close Jojo! Please don’t say anything creepy and scare him away, please
Who knows how long it will be till we find someone else who likes you, probably never LETS BE REAL
-I really wasn’t expecting this to happen with someone so unmarried and so not middle-aged such as yourself.. And dressed in this delinquent manner.. I mean are you wearing an actual necklace, good lord.. Now that I think about it this may have been a mistake..
NOP, NOP, I’M DONE, TOO LATE FOR THAT SHIT NOW JO. PREPARE FOR IMPACT
YAAAAS. I forgot to turn the special camera off like a moron but whatever! Get it Jo, fucking finally.
AW. Fuck Jojo looking rough in this pic, can’t believe Craig went for you tbh. THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS
As soon as the first kiss is over this is what Craig hits us with:
Very promising. Jfc Jojo wtf did you do to him?
-NOTHING! I was a perfect gentleman, I even whispered in his ear that I’ll see him again when he’s married!
Oh yea, that’s what everyone wants to hear! Whatever, our work here is done, let’s go home. Gunther is so tired from being a slut he’s ready to pass out.
I wanna grab both your shoulders and shake, baby, snap out of it, I get the feeling I left it too late, but baby, snap out of it, if that watch don’t continue to swing or the fat lady fancies having a sing, I’ll be here waiting ever so patiently for you to snap. out. of. it. ♪
okay guys, hear me out……… sportarobbie the parent trap au
sportacus and robbie got married young and had their small gaggle of children (how?? irrelevant) but then their wildly clashing personalities + polar opposite parenting styles + immaturity led them to divorce and split their children. sportacus took stephanie and ziggy while robbie got pixel, stingy, and trixie
of course the kids all meet at summer camp and inevitably come to the realization that our dads used to be married???? we’re all kinda siblings??? and they know that their dads are lonely and now that they’re older they could totally work things out!! so of course they switch places with the goal of getting to know their other dad plus subtly trying to find ways to make sportacus and robbie a) interact again and b) fall in looove again
obviously both sporty and robbie feel very conflicted in this situation. sportacus tries to be neutral, even positive, in telling the kids that “your dad and i loved each other very much, but sometimes things just don’t work out” in that Wise, Life Lesson way of his, meanwhile robbie doesn’t trashtalk sporty directly but he reacts much more grumpily to the kids (especially peristent stephanie) constantly bringing it up, and he may be heard muttering about ‘sportaloon’ under his breath. but both sets of kids spy on their dads when they think the kids have gone to bed looking at old photos wistfully, maybe even talking to themselves a bit (’it’s too late, it’s done now!) and robbie definitely comfort-eats a whole cake.
annoying new partner for one of them is definitely not necessary, which smooths the way for the eventual reunion. obviously they first very awkwardly meet up to deal with the logistics of switching children, but are convinced by the kids to stay in the same place for a little while because they’ve just met their new (old) siblings and want to get to know them better!! which of course leads to lots of sportacus and robbie discussing (arguing) about parenting methods (a big part of what broke them up originally) and really everything under the sun - but there’s no venom behind it, they’ve both mellowed out a lot and they’re more willing to negotiate rather than fight (which doesn’t mean anything, stephanie, your dad and i are not getting back together). there’s a moment when sportacus watches robbie theatrically entertain all five kids with a story, with costumes and silly voices for all the characters, and his heart definitely flutters but it’s nothing - and robbie walks in on sportacus working out shirtless and, okay, sportacus is definitely still in as good shape as he was ten years ago, and robbie is not at all horrifically distracted by those arms and those pecs that he forgets what he even came to say. all of those small moments are meaningless, really, because they’re just focusing on being better co-parents, only for the kids’ sake. if sportacus inquires about whether robbie’s insomnia is still bothering him, it’s just out of politeness, and if robbie dutifully makes a disgusting healthy sugar-free cake alongside his regular ones it’s just because he still has that old recipe lying around and it would be rude to exclude sportacus. really.
meanwhile the kids have a lot of fun scheming to get sporty and robbie back in a romantic scenario that takes them back to when they first fell in love. or i dunno, maybe they orchestrate some sort of emergency situation which forces sportacus and robbie to work together to save the day. they get so so close to admitting their feelings when one of them (lbh, robbie) decides that this has been an interesting experiment but it’s time to get back to their own regular separate lives. the kids (and sporty) are devastated but eventually the two families part ways - except robbie immediately regrets it, because he’s only running because back in the day it was sportacus who initiated the breakup, not him and he’s terrified of being left again. robbie’s gang sees this and can tell being apart isn’t what robbie really wants, so they contact stephanie and ziggy and the five of them convince sportacus to chase after robbie and admit his feelings. cue the romcom declaration of love, possibly in the rain, with yelling and a little crying and at least one “because i love you, you idiot” and finally the dramatic reunion kiss with kids cheering from the sidelines. so of course they get back together properly, and all move into a big house as one happy family. and then they sing the bing bang song. the end.
Hi! Can I have a match up, please? I'm an asexual INFJ girl, very shy and lonely. I'm 5'3, I have dark brown hair and eyes. I love writing, reading, cats, plushies, tea, large and snuggly clothes, rain & autumn. I hate loud noises, crouded places and socialising in general. People tend to take advantage of my innocence and kindness and, sadly, use me. I crave affection and daydream a lot. I'm really insecure and have no self esteem at all. Thank you and great job with this blog so far!
I match you with Nozomi!!
If you’re totally sex-repulsed, she’ll obviously never push anything on you or make you feel uncomfortable at all. She’s good at initiating conversations like that so all you have to do is tell the truth and she’ll make sure you feel loved and appreciated in every other way.
and omfg your aesthetic?? she’s so into that. if reading fairytales while cuddling up under a fluffy blanket on a comfy window seat illuminated by candles and a soft lamp listening to the pattering of rain on the window and the distant thunder rumbles in the distance sounds good to you, you’ll get along. soft soft soft
She’s open and giving with affection, she’ll show you nothing but love, but turn as fierce as hell if anyone tries to hurt you in any way. she loves you, and you’ll know that.
Happy MidoTakaDay! [June 10th] ♥ ↳ “This year, Shutoku acquired Midorima Shintarou, a member of the Generation of Miracles. Sure, he’s strong, but he’s also super sensitive and willful. I couldn’t stand him at first, either, but there’s not a guy on the team who doesn’t acknowledge his strength. I know he puts in more effort than anyone else. He’s a bit weird, but it’s somehow impossible to hate him.”
tell me about me: pisces sun, taurus moon, leo rising. xx love readin ur zodiac posts
AYE PISCES BITCHES DONT U JUST LOVE BEIN AN EMOTIONAL WRECK AT ALL TIMES?
But jfc sun pisces w Leo rising? Yr like the perfect datemate. You love to give romantically and sexually because of yr pisces and Leo is the most romantic sign like love just comes so naturally to you and you fall hard too (be careful tho sometimes people can take advantage of that). Bc of yr Taurus yr good at social stuff but will always be a little unsure of yr social skills. You don’t like to feel in debt to anyone and you want a conversation to flow evenly!!