People really need to stop comparing Anidala to Reylo. Anakin and Padme had a loving, egalitarian and gentle relationship from the beginning of their story. Bringing up the choking scene to prove that this couple is inherently abusive is dishonest because their relationship had already ended the moment Padme said she could not follow his path. Prior to that, their relationship worked pretty well, until Anakin started lying to her by the end of EP III after killing all the Jedi at the temple, etc.
His betrayal and his choking her is what killed her (she literally lost the will to live because of him) but that will never erase the loving and healthy relationship they used to have (which is what makes it tragic). Their relationship ended pretty quickly after Anakin made his decision to join Palpatine, so don’t pretend that it has been abusive all along, this is simply not canon. Anakin may have had darkness inside him from the start, which first showed when he slaughtered the people who had kidnapped his mother, but it never manifested in the presence of Padme until things went downhill from that moment.
Now, Kylo Ren has been shown to be murderous and abusive from the beginning (although he did have an “i almost followed the light again, thx god that didn’t happen” moment with his dead redeemed grandpa). I don’t believe he is beyond redemption, and they will probably go for that (it’s sort of a family tradition by now, huh?) but Rey watched this man kill his own father and they were not exactly being diplomatic when they light-sabered the shit out of each other). If there is to be any sort of romantic involvement between them, it should only be when Kylo has redeemed himself first.
You wanna ship them, fine. Like I said, I believe in redemption and the possibility to build at the very least a trusting relationship (although I personally cannot fathom a romantic relationship between Rey and Kylo because I think he has already gone too far) but don’t be dishonest about Anakin and Padme’s story. That’s not cool.