jewelry business opportunity

I think I found a new ridiculous search to amuse myself with on Etsy. Haunted jewelry! Haunted magical jewelry! 

… yes, I am a hedgewitch, yes, I believe in certain forms of magic, but selling Haunted Magical rings that will attract your Romantic Vampire Husband? (And “it’s ok if you’re already married, this is a different level of marriage than we experience on earth”?!)

This is the same sort of mindset that drives me to read overwrought gothic romance novels, isn’t it? Which reminds me, which do I want to read during my bath: “Gaywyck”, “Lord Satan”, or “Dark Satanic”?