Note: Like I wasn’t gonna. Enjoy, and don’t necessarily count on me continuing this! ><
This is a bad dream! It all has to be a bad dream! Levy repeated to herself over and over, trying with all her might to dispel the terrible sight around her. And the terrible beast that hounded her.
“Give me the jewel, little girl!” The unearthly voice roared behind her.
Her feet pounded the earth and her chest hurt, hungry for air she couldn’t gasp for fast enough. Wake up, wake up, wake up! She berated herself again desperately. All the trees looked the same, and she wasn’t even sure where she was supposed to be running to. All she knew was the well that had been her gateway into this strange dream world, and even that she didn’t know how to explain. It was was absurd enough that it could only be a dream!
Jack texts Shitty after kissing Bittle. He’s very Jack about it.
The text comes as Shitty is contemplating which family member would be responsible for honour killing him should he pick up the wrong fork for this salad. If Lardo wasn’t sitting next to him, nervously eyeing up the silverware arrangements, he might try it.
His notification for Jack is the most obnoxious air horn he could download for free, and just having come from outdoors, the volume is cranked all the way up. The sound probably travels into the kitchen. If it were 1943 people would be ducking under their tables and clutching their jewels. Instead, everyone glares at him, and while he’s turning his phone to vibrate, he looks at the message. Risky to check his phone at the table with his family, but Jack never texts first. At first, when Shitty had literally wrestled Jack into friendship, he thought Jack wanted to seem distant and mysterious, when actually he’s just a super aloof kind of guy.
I’ve seen so many of these sorts of ones but never any where you defend yourself, so I decided to write one :)
It was no surprise that paparazzi stalked you when you were out and about, but it was always particularly bad whenever Harry decided to take you out (obviously). You both had just arrived at your favourite cafe and apparently people had begun to pick up on the frequent date spot and were already waiting for you. “Harry Y/N! Look over here!” “Y/N are you pregnant?” “Harry what’s your take on the recent cheating rumours?” “Good lord do they not have anything better to do?” I muttered, rolling my eyes at the annoying paps that were following us down the path. “Apparently not,” Harry growled, tugging my closer to his body, his arm wrapped tightly around my waist. “Y/N get you fat ass out of the shot! I can barely see Harry,” one particularly rude pap sneered, making Harry’s grip on me tighten, eyes narrowing at the path ahead of him to try to stop himself from lashing out. “Fuckin move fat bitch!” “Listen here mother fucker,” I whirled around, dodging Harrys hand that tried to reach out to stop me. “You need to go get a proper fucking job and stop harassing us! We are normal people who are just trying to enjoy a day out together and we don’t need nosy shits like you saying stupid fucking things like that. So back the fuck off before I hit you.” “Try me princess,” he laughed, clearly not taking me seriously. My eyes narrowed on the slimy pap, slinging my back off my shoulder and swinging it at him, managing to knick him in the jaw with my bag. “Alright alright calm down love!” Harry tugged me back to him, taking my bag out of my hands and throwing me over his shoulder. “If I ever see your fucking face around here again I’ll do more than bruise your jaw!” I shrieked, waving my fist at him. “Calm down babe,” Harry laughed, walking into the cafe and setting me down, placing his hands on my shoulders. “He deserved it.” I huffed, straightening out my shirt. “Of course he did, my little hero,” he winked, giving me a peck on the lips.
Liam had only just come back from tour and was still slightly jet lagged, hence the fact that he had decided to sleep in today. It was currently 10:30 in the morning, and you were sat at the kitchen table finishing some work so you could spend the day cuddling with your boyfriend. “Fuck do they ever go away!” Liam groaned, rubbing his eyes tiredly, glaring at the front door. “What are on about babe?” I raised a brow, puckering my lips and waiting for him to give me a morning kiss. He pressed his lips against mine quickly, going back to glaring at the door. “I can hear the paps outside,” he huffed, stalking over to the window and staring outside of it, crossing his arms over his chest. “Li come away from the window,” I giggled, leaning my chin on the back of my chair. “There’s gonna be pictures of pouty half naked Liam Payne all over the internet.” “My windows are tinted,” he waved my comment away, turning away from the invasion paps and walking into the kitchen. “Do you want me to say something to them?” I asked, picking up my coffee cup and following him into the kitchen, pouring myself another cup. “No it’s fine,” he sighed, rubbing his temples slowly, eyes screwed up in pain. “Well imma still go and do it,” I grinned, pecking his cheek softly and throwing the bottle of headache tablets at him, instructing him to take 2 by the time I get back. I threw open the front door, cringing slightly at the sudden light before making my way down the driveway, the flashes going wild. “Y/N are you and Liam engaged!” “Y/N is it true you’re pregnant?” “Listen guys, I know this is your job, but could you please quieten down. We’re trying to have a quiet day at home,” I smiled, watching most of them back away from the gates. Unfortunately, a few of the ruder ones didn’t listen and only got louder (if that was even possible). “Seriously. Back off.” “What are you gonna do about it?” one of them sneered, shoving his camera forward and just missing my nose. “Listen buddy,” I growled, pushing his lens away from my face, reaching through the gaps in the gate and poking his chest roughly. “You better back the fuck away from this house otherwise I’ll call the cops. So get your fat ass off this property right now.” “You’re bluffing,” he chuckled, stepping closer to the gate. Wrong move. In a split second he was lying on the floor clutching his jewels tightly, groans of pain leaving his mouth every so often. “Get lost unless you want that to happen to the rest of you,” I narrowed my eyes, watching them all scatter, obviously wanting to protect the family jewels. “Wow babe,” Liam chuckled, appearing behind me, watching the various paps take off. “What a badass.” “They mess with my baby boy and I just go wild,” I teased, patting his cheek gently and skipping back towards the house. “Come on! We have a whole day of lazing around to start!”
You and Louis always enjoyed going to the park and kicking a ball around, seeing as he was a pretty great football player and you had grown up playing soccer. Even though it was dangerous to be out and about for him, seeing as the fans were always wild and the paps were ruthless, you were both rebels and preferred to play in a big open space. “Seriously, next time I have a game, you should totally come on and play,” Lou chuckled, balancing the ball on his foot, kicking it lightly over to my waiting one. “I don’t think they let girls on the field Lou,” I rolled my eyes, swaying slightly on one foot. “We can do a ‘She’s the Man’ and wrap your chest,” he winked, nudging me slightly and laughing when I stumbled, the ball rolling away. “Then again, I don’t think your boobs would easily squash down.” “Gee thanks,” I sneered, cupping my generously sized boobs. “You know you love my boobs.” “Gotta admit, they’re fun to play with,” he sighed, picking up the discarded ball and bouncing it off my chest, making me laugh. “God what a fat cow,” a low murmur caught my attention, making me raise a brow, looking at the various groups of paps that had surrounded the soccer pitch. “Rude,” Louis huffed, glaring at the pap that had said the comment. “Don’t listen to him babe.” “Don’t worry, I know I’m not fat,” I flicked my hair over my shoulder dramatically, winking at Lou. “God she thinks she’s skinny,” another pap laughed, nudging a few of his mates. “What a joke.” “Your life is the only joke around here mate,” I laughed sarcastically, flipping him the bird. “I never said I was skinny, I was simply stating that I’m not fat. At least, not to the level that you are, honestly your like a pig on two legs.” Lou let out a snort, covering his mouth to try and stifle the giggles that were trying to come out. “Excuse me?” the pap glared, stalking closer to us, the others taking photos of the disagreement. “You heard me you fat pig,” I raised a brow, crossing my arms over my chest. “Say it again, I fuckin dare you,” he sneered, now standing less than half a metre away from me. “You are an overweight pig of a man who needs to get a fucking life and stop harassing celebrities and they’re loved ones. I’m not fat, nor will I ever be fat, because I have a fucking life and like to exercise, rather than stalk people 24/7,” I sneered, stepping forward and poking his chest roughy, causing him to stumble a few feet back. “Now you need to get the fuck away from my boyfriend and I, otherwise you’re going to leave with much more than a wounded ego.” “Bitch,” he scowled, turning around and stomping away, pushing past his laughing group of friends and going god knows where. “I knew there was a reason I was dating you,” Lou sighed, slinging an arm around my shoulder and looking down at me, making me laugh. “What, because I’m a massive bitch?” I giggled, elbowing his side playfully. “Yeh,” he winked, throwing me the ball. “Well that and your massive boobs.”
Niall always flew you over to the places he was touring at, claiming he hated not being with you and Skype just simply was enough. Which is exactly why you two were raiding 7/11 at an ungodly hour at night, stocking up on various energy drinks and Krispy Kreme doughnuts. “Do you think 4 each is enough?” Niall called out loudly, making me giggle and shush him loudly. “That should be enough. Do you want normal Doritos or the cheese ones?” I asked, struggling to hold the various bags of candy and chips in my hands. “Definitely cheese,” he appeared next to me, gesturing for me to place the food in the basket he had picked up. “I swear we’re paying this store its entire weeks earnings,” I giggled, lugging the overflowing basket to the counter, gesturing at random things and waiting for Niall to throw them in. “This should last us a while this time,” Niall grinned, lifting into onto the counter, both of us laughing at the cashiers expression. “We might need a few bags mate.” “Y-yeh,” the young boy chuckled, glancing nervously at Niall. “Babe I think he knows who you are,” I nudged my boyfriends side, smiling softly at the gobsmacked boy. “C-can I please get a photo?” he asked, holding up his phone. “Sure thing chicken wing,” Niall grinned, chuckling when the boy jumped over the country excitedly, handing me his phone. “Alright, 3, 2, 1 DORITOS!” I giggled, taking several photos of the boys, handing the boy back his phone. “God she can’t stop talking about food can she,” a low murmur came through the slightly cracked window, making me let out a sigh. “For your information,” I turned around, pressing my face up against the glass, much to Niall’s amusement. “Food happens to be the source of life, so you can go fuck a camel.” I pulled away, giggling at the smudge I had left behind, wiping it away with my sleeve. “Yeh ya fookin cunt!” Niall stuck his finger up, grinning wildly when the flashes escalated. “We’re gonna be murdered by management,” I shook my head, trapping my boyfriend in a bear hug, staring up at him through my lashes. “It was totally worth it,” he shrugged, handing the boy the money for our ‘midnight snacks’. “Plus, I’d kill a bitch to see the photo of your face against the glass.” “Don’t worry, it’ll be all over the internet tomorrow.”
Whilst Zayn was known for being the quietest member of the band to the general public, to the crew and those who worked closely with him, he was just as insane as the rest of em. It was just a stroke of luck that Lou decided to take you on as an apprentice, and that was how you and Zayn had first met, and the rest is history. “Babe babe babe!” Zayn came crashing through the back door, stumbling over his feet slightly in his hurry to get to me. “You have to come see this.” “Did you finally kill Louis?” I asked, letting him pull me to the back parking lot the boys had claimed as their own. “Unfortunately no,” he pouted, sending me a wink. “But we did manage to smuggle dirt bikes in!” “Oh jesus no,” I face palmed, finally spotting the various bikes the boys had somehow gotten into the stadium. “Come on! Let’s go for a ride!” he pleaded, tugging me over to the bike, trying to get me to sit on it. “Zayn no!” I squealed, kicking my legs in protest when he tried to lift me onto it. “I haven’t been on one in years and for good reason!” “Oh don’t worry, you won’t fall off this one,” he chuckled, sitting me on the back of the bike. “Do you want to ride with me?” “Well I would rather ride you,” I winked, sending him a cheeky smile. “But ok.” “I wouldn’t do that if I were you Zayn,” a loud voice yelled, making us both look up in surprise. “And why not?” he challenged, raising a brow at the pap that had his head through the gap in the fence. “Because she’s so fat she’ll crush the bike,” he laughed, causing a few of the others to laugh too. “Hahahahaha,” I laughed sarcastically, flipping him the bird. “You looked at yourself lately mate?” “Atleast I’ve got an excuse,” he chuckled. “Girls aren’t supposed to be fat.” “Do you know how many girls would kill for my body?” I laughed. “I hope they kill you soon so I don’t have to look at your fat body anymore,” he retorted, obviously noticing he was having no effect on me. “I hope the fans kill you first so no one else has to go blind from looking at you,” I stuck my tongue out, wrapping my arms around Zayn’s waist, shrieking when he suddenly took off. “You know you’re not fat right?” Zayn yelled loudly over the wind, making me smile. “I know. If I was, I probably would have crushed you by now from sitting on you every night.”
I’m sure you’ve tired by now of hearing about the wonders of Maui, but I have to go on just a moment longer to tell you about the raspberries. The Kula black raspberries, to be exact. Imagine the sweetest raspberry you can, but smaller, with a hue reminiscent of a blackberry and a fine coating of raspberry fuzz. Imagine clutching these jewels in your hand, weaving your way through tall and thorny raspberry vines, ducking under encroaching palm fronds, feeling the pulse of the earth under your bare feet. That, for me, is raspberry picking on Maui.
Raspberry picking on the mainland is a much different story, and though I’ve yet to find a good patch in LA, I do have a tried and true source of berry goodness: The grocery store. (What? Don’t hate.) My heart always skips a tiny beat when I see my favorite organic Driscoll’s raspberries on sale at the store—they feel like precious treasures to me, no matter how many packages are on the shelf. The fruit is always transcendent.
This pumpkin raspberry cheesecake is the best of both worlds—the bright, dense flavors of berries mellowed with honey and swirled into pumpkin’s sweetness. Vanilla bean and cardamom came to play, too, within the honeyed walls of a cardamom graham cracker crust.