jesus this is brilliant

youtube

Can we talk about how this is the single funniest satire of EVERY “ARTY” LESBIAN MOVIE OF ALL TIME. In a goddamn TOTINOS commercial. JESUS. 

There needs to be an award to give this. SOMETHING. This is brilliant. BRILLIANT. 

Rewatching now for seventh time. 

about seven years ago the senior class was about to leave school, but they didn’t have a proper senior prank planned out
a group of guys on their way to school spotted a deer carcass on the side of the road (it’s a school in the middle of east jesus countryside) and had the BRILLIANT idea to decapitate it, leave the body in the teacher parking lot, and bring the head into the school (which is a felony).
the principals wanted him out of the school so badly that not only did he get expelled, the counselors raised his one failing grade (a 50%) to a passing one so he wouldn’t be returning to any school ever again.
good times

anonymous asked:

If Kant literally said it's okay to let someone murder your friend then why does anyone still read his books?

okay. this is a pretty reasonable question when you’re coming at philosophy from a new angle, so im gonna give it a nice detailed response. so, my main point would be one bad idea does not the philosopher discredit. just because something kant said sounds bizarre and useless in the real world, doesn’t mean that all of his ideas are straight garbo. so thats why people still read his books.

secondly, the theory of ethics and the place that this comes from is a very interesting one, and whether or not one agrees, participation with the other side of the argument is something crucial in philosophy - and this tradition of informed engagement with opposing ideals is something to be treasured. we need it now more than ever. the whole system of kantian ethics is fascinating and i wanted so badly for it to work but it just doesnt (if you ask me).

thirdly, ethics isnt all kant wrote about. he wrote a fucking shitton. jesus. theres so much kant about the place. and he has some fuckin brilliant ideas about the nature of metaphysics and the mind dependent world that are so crucial to engage with to broaden one’s understanding of philosophy even if you arent convinced.

finally, although the inquiring murderer is a whacked out and ridiculous example kantian ethics brings with it something completely novel to the field in its hardline logical basis. in the broadstrokes, as a life philosophy its also pretty nice. but, and allow me to reiterate this because its important, disagreeing with an idea or thinking its trash is absolutely no basis for not engaging with one of the greatest minds ever. people still read kant because his writing is intelligent, unique and relevant.

in many disciplines nowadays people have moved away from philosophy’s open dialogue, towards a position of engagement only with the arguments and facts that they already find palatable. like myson (occasional seven sage member/early greek philosopher depending on who you ask) said ‘we should not investigate facts by the light of arguments, but arguments by the light of facts; for the facts were not put together to fit the arguments, but the arguments to fit the facts.’, and i think this extends to investigating arguments in order to see if they measure up to the facts, if in fact it appears at first they dont. could be that you might read it, hear what kant has to say and be convinced. i mean probably not, but you wont know until you engage with it. sorry, this came off super preachy, but this is something im pretty passionate about. basically, read kant because its important. love conor xo

anonymous asked:

What about Josie? What'd you think of her character?

I don’t even have words to describe the perfection that is Josie.

Like I’m glad you mentioned her because tbh the whole Chuck fuckery just kinda threw her out of my mind but dear Jesus I love her and I love her being this brilliant Black woman and I love her putting Justin Gingerlake in his place about thinking he’s qualified to write songs for Black women. Of thinking he knows what the fuck they go through or what her mom went through. 



mod v

3

It’s a good thing that my processing times at work aren’t as slow as my tumblr updating times; I’d definitely be looking for another job.

First of all, fuck triathlon pool swims. The whole premise of “let’s let grown adults predict their 250 yard swim time, give them a race number according to their pace, and let them self seed themselves outside of the pool ACCORDING TO THE FUCKING NUMBER ON THEIR LEG AND ARM” seems very straightforward, but Jesus Fucking Christ was the swim a clusterfuck! Granted, my brilliant idea of launching under/across the lane lines after I tapped the wall didn’t help my cause, it was just ridiculous. Lesson learned.

While that was a pain in the ass, the bike course fell right in my wheelhouse and I rocked the shit out of that. The run was meh, but considering it was the first time I ran coming off of the bike this season, I’m happy about it. I debated putting myself in the fat kid category, since I currently qualify, but decided to enter my actual age group and that backfired in my face; 9th in my AG, but I would’ve placed 3rd, and won an award, in the Clydesdale division.

Womp Womp.

Tyrese

This man has me lost for words. On Saturday, I thought to myself - there is no way this man could be 50 and look so young. Perhaps, it was the lighting? We had dinner this evening - he walked in looking even more handsome than the time before. I do not and I will not believe it. He is gorgeous - dressing like Terence Howard in Empire. Jesus yes. He is eloquent and brilliant. He challenges me. OH AND, we look like a fucking power couple together. 

He leaves tomorrow. In other words ladies, my hoe-senses are tingling and I see a little trip in the near future. I wanted to be with him tonight. He asked if he could see me tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. I have him hooked. 

1. I still have not discussed the financial component. He brought it up on the first date saying money was never an issue. However, I shut it down. No point in money talk without a connection - for me. 

2. For the first time tonight, I felt ready to move on from RF. For the first time ever, I have reduced him (in my mind) as merely a monetary source. I cried in the Uber home because for the first time in a long fucking time I felt free from RF.

Honestly, I did not think it could get better than him, and I was a picky bitch BUT I got what I wantedx2. I had so many options and I refused to settle.

Part 1 

Originally posted by romanian-plum

Dating Bucky Barnes would include (Part 2!)…

  • He secretly loves it when you play with his hair
    • But he does not appreciate the French braids
    • Or the fishtails…
    • Or any type of braid
  • A lot of time is spent getting him up to speed on what he’s missed
  • He only remembers things that are important to him - like Steve - and anything with Hydra he doesn’t like and tries to block it out
  • So you binge watch all the movies he’s missed, TV shows, buy a few used history textbooks from some college kids, and try to make it a fun little game
    • “People have been fighting over oil? Wait - why does America keep invading other countries?”
    • “At first, it was just trying to mediate the situation but yeah, I guess you could say America kind of started pushing democracy on other countries. The 50s through the 80s was like the real bad shit, though so we can -”
    • “Was there ever like two months without some type of shit going down?”
    • “Uh…Christmas”
  • Steve and Sam are your absolute best friends
  • You like annoying Bucky just as much as Sam does and you two are constantly teaming up together
    • “WHY IS MY HAIR GREEN? ALL I DID WAS WASH MY FUCKING HAIR”
    • “STOP WITH THE DAMN MAGNETS
    • OH MY GOD WHY DO I HAVE A TATTOO OF A FUCKING FALCON! (Y/N)! WHAT DID I DO LAST NIGHT”
  • You and Steve tell each other literally almost everything
  • Steve regales tales of Bucky being a complete idiot and then all of the times Bucky swooped in to save Steve’s ass. You don’t think you had ever seen Steve look so happy before
  • You would make sure Steve was always in the loop with anything Bucky remembered
  • Bucky trusted Steve, of course he did, but he was also terrified
  • Bucky would just wake up in the middle of the night and shake you awake, eagerly telling you something he remembered
  • On other nights, he’d wake up screaming and you’d shush him, telling him it was all right, that you were there for him
  • Steve had the sneaking suspicion (cough-oh my god it’s so obvious-cough) you two would spend the rest of your lives together
    • He was already writing up his best man speech
  • You will never forget the day you and Bucky attended a fundraiser for an animal shelter
  • They had some of the dogs with them and you knew as soon as Bucky kept stealing glances at the brown and white pitbull, he’d be asking you at the end of the day if you’d consider letting him adopt him
  • Sure enough, he came to you right before the two of you were about to leave
    • “Oh, I knew I was forgetting something!”
  • You hand him the filled out adoption papers
    • “You just have to sign here and…right there and he’s all -”
  • Bucky was never one for PDA - only within the confines of the Tower - but damn it, he fucking loved you
  • He pulled you to him, bodies flush together, and smashed his lips against yours, grinning at you before snatching the papers and asking if he could use your back for a moment
    • He named the dog Barkspawn
    • You had gotten him way into Dragon Age - like way into it
  • Tony did not like the fact there was now a dog in the tower
    • “Barnes, you could have told me if you were going to bring a dog home”
    • “All (Y/N)’s idea”
  • Steve is so excited and is the dog’s personal gift-giver
    • Like, seriously, this dog has so many toys, ten different collars and matching leashes, and God forbid if Steve didn’t get him his own personal handmade bed
  • The two of you practically lived in Bucky’s room in the Tower
  • Your room was just storage and Nat’s hiding place
    • No one went into your room (besides Nat and Buck, of course)
    • And Nat got damn tired of Sam and Tony arguing over dinner every night
  • Most nights, Bucky just stays awake and watches you sleep
  • You talk a lot, mumbling incoherent things
  • He tends to love it when you shift and realize you’re not wrapped around him anymore and you reach out for him
    • “Ugh…Buck…”
    • “I’m here, doll. Just go back to sleep”
  • After your first night together, there almost isn’t a place where you two haven’t had sex
    • Bucky loves to mess with Tony
    • “Oh, I wouldn’t touch that if I were you. Hasn’t been cleaned yet”
    • “It looks perfectly fi - OH GOD”
  • Bucky tends to get in these moods, especially if he’s had a rough mission
  • He just comes home with this look on his face and you just know it’s going to be one of those nights
    • You like rough sex with him because it isn’t just rough for him
    • He’s still so passionate and he still always asks for permission, even when he knows you’ll always say yes
    • How the fuck can’t I say yes to this man? Has he not looked in the mirror lately or something?
  • He hates it when you go on solo missions
  • Bucky needs to know where you are at all times
    • If he loses you…
  • But you always come back in one piece - maybe a few broken bones and bruises but you’re smiling at him and planting a kiss to his cheek
    • “What? That’s all I get?”
    • “I need a shower, Buck. I’ve got dirt in places it should never be”
    • “You’re injured. I say you’re gonna need some help taking your clothes off…”
  • At times, Bucky can be a bit overbearing and you just need a break
    • Nat and Wanda are there for you all the way
    • “Why are we watching strippers?”
    • “They’re all hot!”
    • “But (Y/N) has a boyfriend who can get jealous very easily, Natasha”
    • “Just watch the movie!”
  • Bucky does not know what to do during that time
  • For a while, he sits around, pacing, trying to think of something he can do
  • You’re in good hands, he knows this, but there will always be that little part of him that can’t let go
  • So he takes Barkspawn on a walk around the city and actually enjoys it so much, he begins doing it everyday
  • You’d go with him on most days, smile so wide because Bucky isn’t trying to hide anymore and he’s beginning to smile at everyone and he just looks so happy
  • For a while, Bucky had a drinking problem
  • It was mainly at its peak before the two of you met and got together, but it stuck around
  • You discovered it when you were cleaning out his closet (he literally threw everything clean in there and that was it) and found the stash
  • You brought it up as gently as possible and he broke down again
    • “It doesn’t help…I just wanted to feel something, even a little buzz, just so I could…”
    • “Shh, Buck, it’s okay, you don’t -,”
    • “No, it’s not okay. I did it every night and then…then you came along and I…I felt something again, doll”
  • Fuck, you love this man
    • “You’re making it sound like it’s a bad thing”
    • “It was when my heart was poundin’ against my rib cage and you just kept on with that pretty little smile of yours, but I knew - or I thought I did - you…”
    • “And what? You don’t think I had the same reactions? Jesus, Buck, for a brilliant soldier you sure are dense”
  • Shit, he loves you

Requested by @poe-also-bucky

Oh my God I love writing these so much. Also, thanks so much guys! The first part of this got like 200 notes in just one day and that has never ever happened before so thanks for all the support!

anonymous asked:

I forget if you're someone who's talked about Cas-as-Jesus meta but if you are, I was just thinking how when JC first comes back in the bible, the apostles don't recognize him, and that whole Misha "wanderer" biz just made me think...what if when Cas comes back, the boys don't recognize him immediately? (for whatever supernatural Jesus-y reason)

Hey! Well, It wasn’t something I specifically talked about although I probably mused on the idea following all the imagery in 12x12. 

I asked @justanotheridijiton if she knew the origination of the cas-as-jesus meta and being her brilliant self was able to dig up the following posts:

http://orangemeta.tumblr.com/post/157724216160/novaks-jesuscas-yells-loud-enough-to-shake

http://larinah.tumblr.com/post/77938028171/did-anyone-else-notice-the-huge-amount-of

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/149717054935/8x16-remember-the-titans-9x03-im-no-angel

and I also know that @awed-frog has talked about this topic specifically:

http://awed-frog.tumblr.com/post/158554899597/holy-crap-i-just-realized-that-cas-its-literally

but basically yeah, we have had a lot of imagery in the show recently which alludes to this idea of Cas being a stand-in for Jesus Christ. He certainly has the whole “dying for humanity” thing going for him at the moment: :(

At one point or another in this series all of TFW have been compared to Jesus and they all have Jesus meta about them. I think this lead to speculation that Sam, Dean and Cas together basically are the Holy Trinity (the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost) and that is a nice way of looking at things…

http://neven-ebrez.tumblr.com/post/63753207210/the-father-the-son-and-the-holy-ghost-who-are @neven-ebrez wrote about this ages ago so credit goes to her for that one. 

But back to Cas specifically being Jesus, yes, this does certainly fit in his current predicament. Following much of what he went through in season 12, if he returns after 3 days (or 3 episodes maybe) from the place he finds himself in (the Empty?!) and is unrecognisable at first in his transformation, it would fit this theme. I do like the idea of this ‘wanderer’ being an AU Cas though. A sole wandering loner angel fighting on humanities side against the nightmarish hellscape of this apocalypse world, a world where Cas never had the Winchesters to guide him but still chose humanity after everything (further cementing how he IS the angel of humanity and a Jesus figure in his own way)

Our Cas has never had the chance to confront Chuck following everything that has happened to him, and whilst I am on ‘team Death’ for the mysterious person he meets in this new place (the Empty?) I would also like it to be Chuck because Cas DESERVES to have that conversation and therefore CLOSURE with his father. 

There isn’t much more to Jesus’s story in the bible following his death and resurrection, but if the intention in season 12 was to ramp up the Jesus imagery, to bring us his ‘death for humanity’ followed by his resurrection, what does this mean for Cas going forward? 

In the bible, following the resurrection, Jesus appears to his disciples several times, at first they do not recognise him as you say, or believe who he is, but he performs a miracle involving fish and then commands them to spread his word and then ascends to heaven (apologies for this super condensed version I’m not all that great with bible stuff). Applying this to SPN, it makes sense that Dean and Sam maybe won’t recognise Cas at first, or at least refuse to believe he is back - if its several episodes before Cas comes back and especially if they actually do burn his body, its gonna be an interesting reunion where Dean for sure won’t believe him or think he’s a trick or monster or something. I don’t know how much if anything this will have to do with the ‘wanderer’ as I think that’s gonna be in the AU but if there is bleed over I would like to see real Cas and AU wanderer Cas meet and show their differences (especially if AU Cas notices that real Cas is totally in love with Dean).

If Sam and Dean don’t recognise or believe Cas is Cas when he comes back, then just like Jesus did, he is gonna have to do something to prove he is who he says he is. Jesus performed a miracle with a load of fish, Cas wouldn’t need to go so grand scale. He just needs to look deeply into Dean’s oh so green eyes and say “Hello Dean” and Dean will melt. You all know its true.

As emotional as the reunion scene will be, that’s not the part of this comparison that bothers me. Its the ascending to heaven part that does that. Because I don’t want Cas anywhere near heaven and the other angels again. But I can very well see the show doing this just to get him away for another few episodes (as they so love to do).

Trying to think of it more metaphorically though, in terms of Cas’s transformation arc, when he comes back he could be enlightened in some way. his ‘ascent to heaven’ isn’t so much a literally ‘going backwards and having to deal with his horrible family’ again, but instead finding and accepting his own personal heaven. Where he belongs, and resolving some of the bigger points outstanding in his character arc. His home, his family, his loved ones, and faith in himself. That’s what Cas’s peace should be, that’s what his ‘heaven’ should be. So getting him on the road to these things should be the primary goal for his story in season 13. However he gets there, whether by fish miracles, wayward disciples or an unruly new born nephilim manchild, I want Cas’s story to be a bit more uplifting now, and a bit more enlightened for our poor angel. 

Unsolved Mysteries: IKON

1. Why wasn’t Just Go a title track? Why was it released like an undervalued and unfavoured runt of the litter? When it is a fucking brilliant champion show dog? Why wasn’t it released with the first full album? Just Go? Just Why. 

2. Don’t even get me start on why MUP wasn’t a title track either.

3. Does YG in fact have shitty tastes in music? Taking credit for Teddy, Choice37 and Kush’s actual work? He seems awfully proud that he rejects so many songs and keeps us guessing. Big fucking round of applause there buddy.  It’s not mysterious. It’s called being a lying peehead.

4. Where is this Anthem remix? Where is the corresponding MV? Is this some exclusive content that international fans have to wait forever for again? 

5. Where is June’s solo track? I checked in all the underwear drawers and couldn’t find it. 

6. Why did I have to wait 84 years for Jinhwan’s black hair? And why is this happening during the hiatus? Kpop giveth then kpop taketh away. 

7. Why is Hanbin so damm pretty. This isn’t even a question. How is he so emotionally rich when he claims to be so experience poor? Okay Merlin but what is this sorcery?

8. Kim Jiwon. What is he? And what the hell is going on with his hair? It’s like a Dali painting or a Terrence Mallick film. I love it so much but I don’t understand it at all. Universe, please explain this phenomenon.

Celebrating the Life and Miracles of St Anthony of Padua on his Memorial today 13 June 

 St Anthony and the Holy Eucharist

Anthony has been pictured by artists and sculptors in all kinds of ways.   He is depicted with a book in his hands, with a lily or torch.   He has been painted preaching to fish, holding a monstrance with the Blessed Sacrament in front of a mule or preaching in the public square or from a nut tree. To prove to the heretics that Jesus is truly in the Blessed Sacrament, a horse was not given any food for three days.    Oats were placed in front of him.   The horse refused to eat the oats till he had knelt down and adored Jesus in the Holy Eucharist that St Anthony held in his hand.  This took place in Rimini Italy.

St Anthony and the Child Jesus

But since the 17th century we most often find the saint shown with the child Jesus in his arm or even with the child standing on a book the saint holds.   A story about Saint Anthony related in the complete edition of Butler’s Lives of the Saints (edited, revised and supplemented by Herbert Anthony Thurston, S.J., and Donald Attwater) projects back into the past a visit of Anthony to the Lord of Chatenauneuf.   Anthony was praying far into the night when suddenly the room was filled with light more brilliant than the sun.   Jesus then appeared to Saint Anthony under the form of a little child. Chatenauneuf, attracted by the brilliant light that filled his house, was drawn to witness the vision but promised to tell no one of it until after Anthony’s death.

Some may see a similarity and connection between this story and the story in the life of Saint Francis when he re-enacted at Greccio the story of Jesus and the Christ Child became alive in his arms.   There are other accounts of appearances of the child Jesus to Francis and some companions.

These stories link Anthony with Francis in a sense of wonder and awe concerning the mystery of Christ’s incarnation.   They speak of a fascination with the humility and vulnerability of Christ who emptied himself to become one like us in all things except sin. For Anthony, like Francis, poverty was a way of imitating Jesus who was born in a stable and would have no place to lay his head.

Patron of Sailors, Travelers, Fishermen

In Portugal, Italy, France and Spain, Saint Anthony is the patron saint of sailors and fishermen.   According to some biographers his statue is sometimes placed in a shrine on the ship’s mast.   And the sailors sometimes scold him if he doesn’t respond quickly enough to their prayers.

Not only those who travel the seas but also other travelers and vacationers pray that they may be kept safe because of Anthony’s intercession.   Several stories and legends may account for associating the saint with travelers and sailors.

First, there is the very real fact of Anthony’s own travels in preaching the gospel, particularly his journey and mission to preach the gospel in Morocco, a mission cut short by severe illness.   But after his recovery and return to Europe he was a man always on the go, heralding the Good News.

There is also a story of two Franciscan sisters who wished to make a pilgrimage to a shrine of our Lady but did not know the way.   A young man is supposed to have volunteered to guide them.   Upon their return from the pilgrimage one of the sisters announced that it was her patron saint, Anthony, who had guided them.

Still another story says that in 1647 Father Erastius Villani of Padua was returning by ship to Italy from Amsterdam.   The ship with its crew and passengers was caught in a violent storm.   All seemed doomed. Father Erastius encouraged everyone to pray to Saint Anthony.   Then he threw some pieces of cloth that had touched a relic of Saint Anthony into the heaving seas.   At once, the storm ended, the winds stopped and the sea became calm.

Teacher, Preacher

Among the Franciscans themselves and in the liturgy of his feast, Saint Anthony is celebrated as a teacher and preacher extraordinaire.   He was the first teacher in the Franciscan Order, given the special approval and blessing of Saint Francis to instruct his brother Franciscans.   His effectiveness as a preacher calling people back to the faith resulted in the title “Hammer of Heretics.”   Just as important were his peacemaking and calls for justice.

In canonising Anthony in 1232, Pope Gregory IX spoke of him as the “Ark of the Testament” and the “Repository of Holy Scripture.”   That explains why Saint Anthony is frequently pictured with a burning light or a book of the Scriptures in his hands.   In 1946 Pope Pius XII officially declared Anthony a Doctor of the Universal Church.   It is in Anthony’s love of the word of God and his prayerful efforts to understand and apply it to the situations of everyday life that the Church especially wants us to imitate Saint Anthony.

While noting in the prayer of his feast Anthony’s effectiveness as an intercessor, the Church wants us to learn from Anthony, the teacher, the meaning of true wisdom and what it means to become like Jesus, who humbled and emptied himself for our sakes and went about doing good.

Franciscan Father Norman Perry (1929-1999) served as editor-in-chief of St. Anthony Messenger magazine for 18 years.

St Anthony of Padua, Pray for us!

                                          Private Thoughts 

There was something about a certain blue eyed angel that captivated you, but recently something had been different about him. His eyes lingered, his lips would part about to speak, but he would decide to keep his thoughts to himself. You finally were aware of his thoughts after a long night of research.

     It was the normal scene, you Sammy, Dean, Charlie, and Castiel in the library. Books covered the table, laptop screens lighted up faces, and most importantly everyone had reached the point of the night where they were bored.

   Dean was the first to admit it, “Alright I need a break; beer, pizza, chinese, burgers, name it and I’ll go get it”. You were aware of how hungry you were and you nodded your head. Sammy however decided on his usual salad, which meant it was just pizza for the rest of you.

   Charlie turned to you and whispered, “I know something you’d love to eat”. You knew she was talking about Castiel and you rolled your eyes, but your mind couldn’t help but wander. You pictured looking up into his eyes while the tip of his dick pressed against your lips, but you were forced back into reality when you heard coughing.

   You looked up to see Cas choking on a piece of pizza while Dean hit his back. You gave Charlie a strange look but thought nothing of it. Finally Castiel was okay again and when you made eye contact you noticed something different in his eyes, but before you could wonder Sam called you over.

   He motioned you to come over to him, “Hey I think I might have found something to break the case”. You were leaning over Sam and you finally took in his smell, old books, mint, and herbal essences. While you were taking in his scent, he seemed to be taking in your cleavage.

   Suddenly you got lost in your thoughts again really Sammy is a tits guy? I thought he was all for big books not big boobs You were about to laugh to yourself when someone beat you too it. You realized that it was Castiel who was laughing, but when you made eye contact he stopped. No one had been talking but you weren’t the only curious one.

   Dean looked at Castiel, “What’s so funny Cas?”. There was a look of panic in his eyes before he said, “I believe I was reminiscing, if that’s what you humans call it”. His answer was good enough for everyone else but you weren’t satisfied.

   You looked back at the screen and you leaned forward, giving Sam a better look at your cleavage. Pointing to one line of the typed text you asked, “Is this what caught your eye?”. Seconds passed before a blushing Sam replied with, “Uh yes…it uh..caught my eye”. You heard Dean laughing, but at least now the reason was apparent.

   You thought to yourself hmm Sammy seems shy but I bet there’s this side of him that would just pin me down and fuck me silly, I wonder what I could do to bring this side out… Castiel’s hand slammed on the table causing everyone to look up, you would’ve been shocked had you not already been eyeing him.

   Dean spoke first, “Uh did you reminisce on a bad memory?”. He nodded his head matching your eye contact. You sat back down in your seat and smirked to yourself. Suddenly there was a voice in your head  just remember you started this game    

You rolled your eyes and thought Cas this isn’t a game, it’s my personal thoughts, how many times have we told you not to do this. You tried to begin reading again where you’d left off but the voice was in your head again  for such an “innocent” girl you have some sinful thoughts

You decided to poke the bear well what should I do about it, since you’re so pristine. You smirked to yourself, assuming you’d cause the innocent angel to become stunned.

Seconds passed before you were given your reply naughty girls deserve spankings, it would be quite pleasing to see that tight little ass of yours all red as you’re bent over my lap. You accidentally ripped the page you’d been trying to turn. Sammy looked over at you quizzically but you just smiled politely.  

You wanted to bring out Sam’s sexual side (y/n), but it appears you’ve just egged me on. Prepare to feel heaven’s wrath little girl. You adjusted in your seat and cleared your throat Cas come on this is inappropriate. You were hoping he’d understand how awkward he was making things.

You heard him chuckle, suddenly you’re afraid? Is it just because what I’m saying is turning you on,  I can only imagine how wet you already are. You gasped aloud, once again confusing everyone in the room. You took a daring look into Castiel’s eyes and he put on his most innocent facial expression.

Again Sam called you over, believing he’d made another possible break in the case. This time you sat next to Sam and tried to read what was on his screen. You humans are amusing, I have you so needy and I haven’t even touched you. Castiel was inside our head and you couldn’t focus. Apparently Sam had been calling your name, “Hey (y/n) are you okay? You’ve been acting weird?”.

His concern is adorable, are you okay? Of course you’re fine, you pretty little pussy is just throbbing for my cock. You bit down on your fist, trying to regain control. You looked up at Sam and did your best strong face, “Awe Sammy I’m okay uhh I think I’m just thirsty my throat is uh dry”.     I wonder how dry it would be after my cum trickles down it….

       Sam offered to go get you a glass of water and once he left it was your turn to smash the table. Castiel. Get out of my head. Or I’ll fucking- If you’d looked up you would’ve seen Castiel with a smug grin on his face.

You’ll fucking what? Moan in front of everyone, hmm maybe If I use my grace I can even make you cum… Before you could even protest you felt vibrations surrounding your clit, until there was a sudden shift and the vibrations focused on your clit solely. You felt what was coming and you covered your mouth to muffle any moans.

         You pulled your head up and looked directly at Castiel, begging for him to stop. He put his hands together, pouted, then shrugged his shoulders and suddenly everything stopped. You were gasping for breath and told him You’ve just crossed the line you smug son of a bitch, nearly making me cum infront of everyone in this room with your grace, hell no. For the last time get out of my head or you’ll feel my fucking wrath, hell hath no fury like mine I-

         Suddenly you heard a laugh, no laughs. Charlie and Dean were cracking up while Castiel stood smiling smugly. You’d been so angry that you’d said your last thoughts aloud.

     Sam had come back into the library at the perfect time to take the whole scene in, “Um guys is everything okay?”. Dean stopped laughing to fill his brother in, “Oh god sammy, haha, apparently Cas isn’t that innocent or clueless because he’d been using his grace to well get (y/n) all hot and bothered”.

            Sam stood stunned and Charlie added in her own opinion, “Jesus (y/n) hell hath no fury like mine haha that was brilliant”. You were getting angrier by the second, but Castiel seemed to love it. His grin grew bigger and he winked, “Well you didn’t have that much of a problem with me telling you just how I’d fuck you, but I have to say your anger truly does please me”.

       You looked to the others in the room but they all seemed to be eating this up, especially Dean. On the other hand, you weren’t enjoying this at all. Putting both hands on the table and leaning over it towards Castiel you said, “ Seems like you’re all talk, I bet you can’t do half the things you’ve said angel”.

      With a snap of his fingers suddenly you and Castiel were in your room, “Is that all you’ve got, booping us into my room?”. He started walking towards you and snapped his fingers again. You saw that his clothing was gone, and you also noticed that yours was too. He smirked, “No it’s not all I’ve got why don’t you get that pretty little ass of yours on that bed”.

           It was honestly such a turn on too see Castiel being so demanding and say such dirty things because you’d always thought he was this innocent and clueless angel. You sat on the bed and watched as once again he slowly made his way towards you.

         He knelled down and grabbed the backs of your knees pulling you towards the edge of the bed, “You know you’re quite the little tease, it will be fun having that mouth of yours too busy moaning to make remarks”.You looked down at him, completely mesmerized awaiting his next move.

        He slowly placed a hand on each one of your knees, and while locking eye contact he abruptly pulled them apart. You gasped, and he ate it up. He traced one finger up and down your slit as you held your breath, “Why so quiet now (y/n)?”. You were about to speak when you felt his hot breath against your folds.

        You bit your lip but he pulled his mouth away, “Don’t think speak”. Feeling bold you grabbed a fist full of his hair and lead his head towards your pussy, and you could feel him grin against your skin.

       Castiel spoke again, “That’s it, now tell me what you want me to do”. You decided fuck it and said, “Why don’t you use that tongue and show me what heaven feels like”. His fingers spread your lips and his tongue flicked over your clit. You moaned instantly, “Fuck Cas”.

      He took your clit in his mouth and sucked on it, causing you to buck your hips. Suddenly you felt him fastly sucking on your clit while tongue fucking you, “Shit that’s so fucking fast I-”. Before you could finish your sentence you felt two of his long fingers enter you. He laughed, “You know I don’t mind your talking that much when it’s so fucking dirty”.

       Again his lips found you clit and he sucked while his fingers pumped in and out of you, and you couldn’t take it anymore, “Cas I think-”. He was in your mind again, to preoccupied to speak, “That’s it, cum, fucking cum for me right now”. Your orgasm hit and it was like nothing you’d felt before, you thought you had actually died and went to heaven.

            Wave after wave of bliss hit you and once the tsunami was over you were left panting. Cas looked up at you very proudly, “Well that’s the closest thing you’ll get to heaven for awhile”. You laughed and pulled him up towards you, ‘Well I’d fucking hope so because I’m not done with you yet”. He kissed you passionately until you felt him smile again.  Looking into your eyes he said, “Angels are very possessive, and now you’re mine so I’m not done with you and I never will be”.

        You kissed him once last time before lying in bed next to him. There was totally some explaining to do for the Winchesters, or so you thought, because you suddenly heard claps through the door. You picked your head up and heard, “Atta boy Cas, sounded so good I thought I was fucking (y/n)!”. You laughed again before saying, “Well Winchester does that sound like you’re cheering encore because I’m pretty sure angels have impressive endurance”.

         You heard what had to be Sam’s voice, “Uh I’ve heard enough, dealing with Dean’s loud expeditions is enough already!”.  Castiel laughed before propping his head up with his elbow and staring into your eyes. You blushed under the eye contact and once again his lips met yours. You were extremely excited for what your future together held.

!If you want me to write more Castiel Imagines just tell me so:)!

9

“Well, that was a nice last touch,” Louis snorts. 

Harry closes the door behind his back and looks at him, quiet and small all of a sudden. Louis can still hear the steps of his family descending the staircase out of his apartment and a cloud of giggles trailing behind their backs. Jesus, that was embarrassing. Pretty brilliant, but embarrassing no less. 

Keep reading

Seen Through A Screen No More

From this request: Would you do a Gabriel x reader where Gabe send the boys in tvland again but this time he accidentally bring her, the reader, from her world on theirs. Just a “Who are you?”, “ Who are YOU!?” situation

______________________________________________________________

“Where the hell are we?”

The Winchester brothers looked around the busy street. They didn’t recognize anything or anyone. And the voices of the passersby… sounded different.

“There’s a sign over there,” Sam said, pointing. The brothers carefully wove their way over, examining the sign.

“Baker Street, City of Westminster,” Dean read.

“Wait a minute,” Sam said. “Baker Street… that sounds familiar.”

“Didn’t that one detective live there?”

“Yeah, Sherlock Holmes. Real street, fictional detective.”

“Wasn’t he British?”

“Yeah…”

“Dude, are we in England?”

The brothers looked around. The place certainly did seem very… British.

“How the hell did we get here?” Dean asked.

At that moment, a door next to them opened. Out walked a rather tall man in an oversized black coat. His black curls bounced with every step. A shorter, greying-blonde man followed behind.

“Sherlock,” the shorter man said. “Where on Earth are we going?”

The brothers watched as the two men hailed a taxi and sped off.

“Dude…” Dean said. “Did that guy just say…”

“Yeah,” Sam said. “Of course, this all makes sense now!”

“What does?”

Before Sam could answer, a young woman ran past them.

“Taxi!” she called, arm raised. Her voice was American, standing out among the British titters. The brothers watched a taxi pull up next to her. “Can you follow that cab?” she asked the driver, pointing in the direction the other cab had gone. The driver must have said yes because the girl got into the cab.

Neither brother knew why her presence had stopped them so short.

“You were saying?” Dean asked, turning back to Sam.

“I think this may be another TV-land adventure,” Sam said.

Dean’s face hardened. “Gabriel. Of course.”

______________________________________________________________

The brothers had just entered a nearby shop when they realized that the scenery had changed. The world behind the shop door was not filled with fluorescent lighting and aisles of meaningless product. Instead, the room they stepped into had a very large console, reaching floor to ceiling, with numerous screens and buttons.

“Okay, now where the hell are we?” Dean asked.

At that moment, a man wandered into the room. He studied the boys, his eyes narrowed under bushy grey brows.

“You’re not Clara,” the man said, a Scottish twang to his voice.

“Uh, no, no we’re not,” Dean said.

The man studied them for a moment longer. “No matter!” he said, stepping to the console. “I’ll take whatever help I can get, be it Clara or you two… Americans?”

Before they could answer, the same girl from the taxi incident walked in. She looked around the room, her eyes filled with wonder.

The man also noticed the girl’s entrance. “Oh, great. Another one. And just who are you?”

The girl’s eyes widened upon seeing the man. “Doctor?” she squeaked.

“He doesn’t look like a doctor,” Dean whispered to his brother.

“Wait a minute… I think we’re in the TARDIS.”

“The tortoise?”

Sam shook his head. “TARDIS. We’re in Doctor Who.”

Dean studied his brother. “Your nerd-side is showing.”

“Shut up.”

“Okay, so, tell me who the girl is.”

“No idea. Although British TV shows do tend to use the same actors…”

“But she’s American.”

At that moment, the girl’s eyes fell on the brothers. “Wait a minute… are you two Sam and Dean? Winchester?”

Both brothers were surprised. “You know us?” Dean asked.

The girl’s eyes widened even more. “What if… what if this isn’t a dream? What if… ‘Changing Channels’…”

The brothers shared a look just as the scene changed again.

______________________________________________________________

After being in an artificially-lit room, the brilliant sunshine was blinding.

“Jesus!” Dean said, ducking into some shade from a nearby palm tree.

Sam looked around but once again didn’t recognize the area. The window of the building behind them said Psych in big, green letters.

“Hey!”

The brothers turned and saw the girl jogging toward them. She stopped in front of them, catching her breath slightly. “I was hoping I would find you two again.”

“How do you know who we are?” Dean asked.

“I, uh…” The girl’s eyes landed on the window behind them. “Oh, shit, no way!”

“You know where we are?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, Santa Barbara. Home of Shawn Spencer.”

None of that meant anything to the Winchesters, but there was a sort of glassy, wanting look in the girl’s eye. She looked as if she desperately wanted to go into the office.

“So,” Dean said, drawing the girl’s attention back to him. “You were saying?”

“Oh,” the girl said. “Right. Well, the thing is… you guys are in one of my favorite shows…”

“Excuse me?” Dean said.

“Sam and Dean are the main characters on Supernatural, which is like my fourth favorite show…”

“Fourth?” Dean asked, suddenly offended.

“After Sherlock, Doctor Who, and… whatever this is,” Sam said, putting the pieces together.

Psych,” the girl responded.

Dean shook his head, remembering his predicament. “Do we look fictional to you?”

The girl bit her lip and shrugged.

“What’s your name?” Sam asked, his voice gentler than his brother’s.

“Y/N.”

“I thought something was off.”

The three of you turned to see Gabriel walking toward you. He was dressed in swim trunks and was carrying a surfboard.

“Gabriel, what the hell is happening?” Dean asked.

“Your brother was on the right track earlier,” the angel answered. “I decided it would be fun to send you two into some fictional realms again, but it seems we got a tagalong.”

The three men turned and looked at you.

“What?” you said. “Don’t look at me. I didn’t ask for this. Dream about it, yes, but ask for it?” You shook your head.

“Glitch in the matrix,” Gabriel said, his golden eyes on you. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“Send us home, Gabriel,” Dean said.

“Fine,” Gabriel said. “But I’m taking this little gumdrop with me.”

With a snap of his fingers, the Winchesters disappeared.

“Where’d you send them?” you asked, slightly worried.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, they’re safe and sound back in their bunker.”

You noticed that Gabriel’s snap had also transported his surfboard elsewhere, and had turned his outfit into his typical jeans and jacket attire.

“You wanna go get a snow cone?” Gabriel asked you. “There’s a great little stand just down the beach.”

You bit your lip. You did want to go exploring with the angel, but…

You glanced back at the window of the detective office. “Can I meet Shawn and Gus first? Please?”

Gabriel smiled at you. “Anything you want, darlin’.”

FAVORITE ALBUMS in HISTORY of PMW

Earlier this year marked this site’s fifth anniversary of being a thing. At the time, I had wanted to do something to commemorate the instance, but time got the best of me. Fast forward to a couple of weeks back and Pitchfork put together their list of best albums/songs of the first half of the decade. Though not in tight agreement with them, I was still inspired to do the same, considering the dates line up with the creation of PMW. The big difference here is that I’m not trying to create a definitive list of “the best”, as that’s arbitrary - instead I will be highlighting my favorite ten albums of the past five years (which will probably change by the time I post this), and then an additional 40 that are all stunning works that just missed the mark on perfection. These titles will not be ranked, but rather presented alphabetically with links for streaming, should you be so inclined to seek them out. 

So, without wasting any more of your time, let’s get to the list. Links will take you to Spotify when available, YouTube when not. 

TOP TEN FAVORITES // 2010 - 2014

  1. “This is Happening” by LCD Soundsystem // It’s the final pulse of one of my favorite bands. At the time of the release, I didn’t think that it could possibly best their previous album, but sure enough - it did. What sticks with me most is James Murphy’s often heartbreaking, often funny, always real lyrical content that felt like it was mirroring events of my adulthood, as Sound of Silver had done in my young adulthood. It was the soundtrack to a massive turning point in my life and I’m thankful for it’s existence. 
  2. “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy” by Kanye West // It’s one of the albums that I’ve came back to the most over the past five years. For all of Kanye's brilliance, it was this album that delivered on all promises and boasts. Absolutely top of the mountain production and delivery. It also doesn’t hurt that it contains one of the flat out best verses on any hip hop album of the decade with Nicki Minaj’s “Monster” verse.
  3. “Oshin” by Diiv // A stunning collection of songs that prove you can still make powerful, beautiful music with guitars. Every song is magnificent, and each one feels like an integral piece to the whole. It’s one of those rock records that never sounds played out, and always gets my attention for it’s duration. Perfect.
  4. “MBV” by My Bloody Valentine // Waiting for twenty odd years for a proper follow up to one of the best albums of all time has a tendency to elevate expectations, but Kevin Shields somehow met them head on while subverting them completely. It sounds like only My Bloody Valentine can, and after hearing two decades of pale imitators, it was incredible to feel the power of My Bloody Valentine once again. 
  5. “The Wilderness” by Cemeteries // A criminally overlooked and hauntingly beautiful album drenched in atmosphere that is both inviting and ominous. Like Beach House scoring a David Lynch project. Genuinely great in a way that so few albums ever achieve. 
  6. “High Violet” by The National // A heartbreaking collection of orchestral chamber pop from (possibly) America’s greatest band. Matt Berninger’s writing never fails to connect. Often aching, often triumphant. 
  7. “Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming” by M83 // On this album, M83 aimed for the cheap seats and ended up on the moon. Massive synth pop anthems that feel like mini movies on their own. A truly beautiful collection of songs that make you feel like you can change the world with the right kind of love.
  8. “Nocturne of Exploding Crystal Chandelier” by Sun Airway // Wildly overlooked as well. Sun Airway’s debut is stunningly beautiful and loaded with killer hooks for days. It’s one of those albums that feels like it’s some massive hit in an alternate universe, but sadly it’s an often overlooked gem waiting for a second or fortieth listen.
  9. “Total Loss” by How to Dress Well // Tom Krell’s second album as HTDW felt like a revelation following the distorted, yet gorgeous world of Love Remains. Hearing his vocals pulled closer into the mix and unleashed on heartbursting beauties that call to mind slow jams of the early 90s and all sorts of assorted other things. It’s completely fresh and exciting as all hell.
  10. “The King of Limbs” by Radiohead // My favorite band dropped a quiet, disarming LP that took a while to get settled into, but eventually unraveled into dozens of magical directions. TKOL found the band playing a loose and experimental style that lacked some of that early mastery, but still stood heads above almost everything else. 

There you have it. A collection of brilliant music that has helped shape the last five years of my life (and certainly this blog). Of course, even looking back over this last now, I see plenty of places where I’ve missed things or placed unnecessary emphasis on others. It’s the price of falling in love with things, sounds, too easily. Then again there are much worse issues to have.

I hope that you’ve enjoyed the list and that maybe something stands out that maybe you missed on the first trip through. Go back and reconnect and discover something if you have the time. Lucky for you, once music is out there - it’s always there. Waiting for you to hit play.