For @viperbranium: I said ‘give
me a prompt’ and she said ‘airport’ and I went wtf am I supposed to do with
“So, you’re Captain
The man put down his
newspaper and stared at Bucky, eyebrows raised like he was incredulous, but
Bucky had no idea why he had any right to incredulity. He was wearing a pair of blue cargo pants
that looked like they were part of some kind of military uniform, ass-kicking
boots, and he was reading a newspaper. Plus, everyone knew The Avengers had been in
town a few days before to fight some weird alien bird entity and Captain
America had a habit of staying behind to help with clean-up efforts.
“What makes you think
that?” totally-Captain-America asked, unnecessarily cagey.
“There’s a small movie in a movie, so to speak, where no one says a word. Instead, the guys just look at each other and they all know — Till’s not going to make it, neither up nor down. And this aluminum plate is actually a very important thing for every alpinist: some climbers have a photo of themselves on it and if something happens, it becomes a memorial stone. So Olli is actually making a gravestone for Till, knowing that his future is written. There’s a death zone on Everest. You have no chance of bringing down a dying or a dead person from up there, because it’s hard enough to get down on your own. That was actually the key factor for me to film this scene. They carry him up, fully aware that they will definitely not come back down all together. I think, this part is the greatest, because the unity in the band is the main point of the video.”
Take a moment to read this, this is essential to know! I’m not writing this for my own personal gain or anything, this is very much upon my heart and it’s effecting so many people !!
We want to feel love, we want to feel secure. We even seek relationships with those who don’t know Christ - they can adore you, you may have things in common, you can enjoy each others company but they can never truly love you unless they know the love of Jesus. Don’t seek a relationship, seek Jesus - he’s the only one we should hunger for, he’s the only one who can satisfy your needs, the enemy will make you think you need another person and that when the perfect person comes along all your troubles will be solved … but the truth is, unless you rely on God for everything and give him every aspect of your life, you can never enter into a relationship and love another person without getting hurt because you’ve put your needs and expectations on their shoulders.
No one can satisfy your desires apart from Jesus, desires of the flesh are not of God - We can get so caught up by the idea of ‘feelings’ or ‘romance’, which secular entertainment is filled with. Focus on jesus and press into growing in your relationship with him and he will bring you through this trial and all trials. You do not need a relationship to feel worthy - You need to know Jesus paid the price with his life and it makes you worthy, you are worth the blood of Jesus. We can never truly have a relationship and love one another if we don’t learn to love Jesus when we’re single, we must look to him to satisfy our needs and not a relationship because they never will. You’re so precious to God and he wants you to love him and rely on him before he brings a man or woman into your life, he won’t unless he thinks you’re ready. The truth is that it is not found in another person it’s only found from pressing in and growing in a deeper relationship with Jesus! When we trust in God, in his timing he will always give us what we need. If you give him everything and love him no matter what, he will give you what you need. when you’re ready he will give you a relationship but he wants you to put him first over all otherwise you can’t love anyone else, because love only comes from him.
We have turned the purest and holiest of things between a man and a woman into the most unholy disgusting actions. Relationships have been reduced to ‘sexual desire’ which came from man’s fallen selfishness, whereas it is the most beautiful connection between a married couple, the devil has twisted and changed it in the world so much because he knows that there’s great power and intimacy within the pure nature of a covenant between two people married before God. Even in the Christian ‘lifestyle’ sexual desire has simply had christian language wrapped around it. Satan is cunning, he will manage to persuade us that sin makes sense, that it isn’t wrong and it will feel good; but sin promises something that it can never fulfil. We’re constantly surrounded by sexual immorality in this world, but as godly men and women we are called to flea from sexual immorality and everything associated with it - I think a lot of the time Christians can get their ideas about sexual immorality warped by world influences and think they’re okay just because they are not having sex - but that’s a lie, sexual immorality doesn’t just mean sex outside of marriage, it also means other sexual acts, kissing, masturbating, watching sexual films etc. You start to look like what you expose yourself to, so we must abstain from sexually immoral things or we open ourselves up to it. We must die to self and let go of these things and allow God to change us. This is a heavy subject but don’t feel disheartened by it or worried if you’ve done something wrong, God dealt with that when he died on the cross but our fight is the good fight of faith to continue to walk in what he accomplished. Ladies you don’t need a man to make you feel worthy. Men you don’t need a woman to make you feel worthy. You need to know Jesus paid the price with his life and it makes you worthy, you are worth the blood of Jesus.
No one can satisfy your desires apart from Jesus, desires of the flesh are not of God and the enemy will trick us into thinking that lusting after someone feels good, but sin promises something it can never deliver. We can get so caught up by the idea of ‘feelings’ or ‘romance’, which secular entertainment is filled with, but turn to jesus, he’s the only way. You can never rely on another person to satisfy your needs, only God can. Don’t focus on the problem, focus on jesus and press into growing in your relationship with him and he will bring you through this trial and all trials. You do not need a relationship to feel worthy - You need to know Jesus paid the price with his life and it makes you worthy, you are worth the blood of Jesus. Do not feel condemned but know that God loves you, he’s not angry at you, he’s holding you, all you have to do is seek him more and all things not of him will fall away.
He’s so wonderful and so lovely, there’s a way that seems right to a man and it leads to death … but God’s perfect will is everything you never knew you always wanted!!!!
Hi. Could you write more Jason-centric Hurt/Comfort? I really enjoyed your previous fic in which Jason has pneumonia. So I was wondering if you are willing to write more sick!Jason with respiratory illness? Like, he has bronchitis on top of abdominal wounds so every time he coughs (and he coughs A LOT), it's extremely painful for his wounds (also his chest hurts and coughing sucks). And Batfamily try to take care of him during his recovery.
I hope this is to your liking anon :) Sorry it took so long to get done, Jason was being very stubborn about accepting care from his family…
The gash across his stomach alone wouldn’t be a problem; it’s far from the worst injury he’s sustained. But of course he doesn’t just have an abdominal wound because his body likes to be really - what’s that word Tim is always throwing around? - Extra™ about punishing him. For what, he has yet to figure out. Alfred seems to think it was going on patrol while he had (what he thought was) a mere cold. But that couldn’t possibly be it. Must be because of all those cardinal sins Bruce is so disappointed he broke (like the man himself is such a damn saint).
Although, in hindsight, maybe the fever did have a little bit to do with it because apparently he’d gone out without his armour, just in the leather jacket and a long sleeved shirt which, in his defence, does kinda look like the Kevlar-reinforced one he usually wears as the Red Hood. Jason is sure he checked that he was properly outfitted before leaving his apartment (through the door apparently, which, yeah, he’s starting to see how the fever might have been a little higher than he thought and messed with his decision making a little more than he remembers) but the whole night is hazy in his memory. He can accept, begrudgingly and only in his mind, that the version of events Tim and Alfred retell is probably correct.
He’d been surprised to wake up in the Cave. Even more surprised to see the Replacement slouched over a tablet beside the bed, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else but stubbornly not moving in a way that probably meant Alfred had ordered him to keep an eye on Jason. (Or he was worried, which, weird. It was only an unlucky slash across his abdomen.) Then Jason had tried to speak and any surprise had vanished beneath the fire that ignited in his chest.
Tim’s head had snapped up immediately, wide eyed and so damn concerned as he stuttered through some soothing bullshit about being okay and calming down and just breathing. Easy enough for him to say; he’s not the one who’s entire body from waist up is protesting every incremental movement with agonising pain.
(“You’re being dramatic.”
“You wanna swap places and see how fucking dramatic you are when even breathing hurts?”
“I’ve had bronchitis before, Jason. It sucks but it’s not that bad.
“Oh yeah? And did you have thirteen stitches across your stomach at the same time?”
“You know, maybe if you stopped complaining and got some rest you’d feel better.”)
All Jason wants is to curl up beneath two or three blankets - preferably one of those fancy electric throw rug ones - but, unfortunately, curling up isn’t exactly possible. Not without pain. Stupid fricken knife wound.
And Alfred probably wouldn’t give him an electric blanket anyway because apparently his fever is “worryingly high”. Whatever that’s supposed to mean. Surely if his body was trying to bake his brain, he wouldn’t feel so dann cold all the time? There had been brief warmth when Titus had got into the Cave and jumped onto the bed with him, but Alfred had put a stop to that real quick.
There’s an oxygen tube irritating his nose and a pulse oximeter clamped around his finger. He suspects its more so Alfred will be alerted if he tries to leave than for any actual medical necessity. He’s not that badly hurt.
(He’s stubbornly not including the severe case of bronchitis Alfred had informed him he had. With his disapproving eyebrows and everything. It’s not fair how that man can make Jason feel guilty about things that aren’t even his fault.)
“When can I get outta here?” he asks.
“If your vitals remain stable, you can move to one of the guest rooms upstairs at the end of the day,” Alfred replies.
Which they both know isn’t what he actually meant but. Whatever. Nobody argues with Alfred. Jason is just glad he didn’t suggest moving into his old mausoleum of a bedroom.
Even with the painkillers Alfred is pumping through his system, coughing really fucking hurts. And it feels like he’s constantly coughing.
“You should drink some more water,” Dick says after a particularly bad fit that has his muscles aching and his eyes stinging with tears he refuses to shed.
“You should fuck off,” Jason rasps, so not in the mood to deal with Mr Sunshine’s mother henning. It’s approaching midnight and he’d been looking forward to the peace and quiet and lack of suffocating caring while all the Bats were on patrol, but Dick, out of the goodness of his oversized heart, had decided to stay back and keep his little brother company. No amount of grouchiness and swearing have managed to drive him away yet.
Dick’s face falls a little, settling into an expression somewhere between subdued and downcast, which is so not fair because Jason knows that he knows that Jason wasn’t being serious. Well, not completely serious. His brother’s company (and the laptop and movies he’d brought with him) has actually been a mostly pleasant distraction from the itch in his lungs and the pinch of his stitches every time he moves too much. But Jason has a reputation as an arsehole that he needs to maintain. He can’t just go around reciprocating mushy feelings with other mushy feelings.
He sighs. Grumbles, “Okay, fine, I’ll drink the damned water. Just. Shut up yeah? You’re almost tolerable when you’re quiet.”
Dick’s answering smile is so soft and fond and fucking loving that it makes his chest ache for reasons entirely unrelated to bronchitis.
But that doesn’t mean he isn’t going to blame the damn bronchitis anyway.
Someone pauses outside his door and Jason knows who it is without even thinking about it. He can imagine the pensive frown carved into a tired face, the hand hovering over the doorknob, the silent sigh. Then the steady beat of footsteps moving further along the hallway.
Restless and sore and craving a distraction from his own scattered thoughts, Jason makes a snap decision and rolls out of bed, landing with a much-too-loud thump on the hardwood floor. The whole movement is uncoordinated and clumsy and it makes his abdomen scream and triggers another round of dry, chesty coughs (what doesn’t these days?). So by the time he stumbles across his bedroom to the door, it’s already opening, Bruce’s brows furrowed with concern as he sticks his head in.
“I’m fine,” Jason says immediately, pretends it’s gruff dismissal instead of the hasty reassurance that it is. He’s not entirely sure why he was suddenly so desperate to see Bruce when he’s been avoiding him most of the week Alfred has had him coupled up in the Manor (most of his new life, even) and now that they’re face to face words stick behind his teeth. He runs his tongue along cracked lips. Asks, “How was patrol?”
“It was fine.” Bruce is still frowning a little, still worried, hand tightening on the doorknob because he wants to reach out but he’s sure Jason will just shrug it off. “What are you doing up?”
“I couldn’t sleep. I was just.” Jason rubs his chest, hopes it will quell another cough. “I don’t know. I heard you walk past. I thought.” He coughs into his elbow. Shrugs. He has no real reason for being out of bed except that his irritated chest was keeping him awake and his abdominal wound was keeping him from getting comfortable. And maybe Bruce pausing outside his door made him remember when he was a kid and he used to check in on him before going to bed. And maybe it made him miss it. Just a little bit.
Bruce nods, as though the stilted answer made any sense, and then he offers, cautious and hopeful and, goddamit, fatherly, “Would you like a cup of tea?”
Jason opens his mouth to say yes, a cup of tea would be lovely on his sore throat, just what he needs to relax his body enough to maybe get some sleep. But then his mind flashes to memories of being younger, of sitting on a stool wiping tears away with his pyjama sleeve, of Bruce setting a mug of camomile in front of him and telling him that he doesn’t have to talk about the nightmare, but if he wants to he’s here to listen. Memories of comfortable silences turned awkward except not really because they don’t even spend enough time alone together for there to be silences anymore. And he steps back, turns toward his bed, says “no thanks, I’m going to try get some sleep”, because he’s an arsehole and he doesn’t want Bruce’s worry or love or care.
Doesn’t deserve it.
The door clicks shut and Jason pretends that he doesn’t notice the long pause (the pensive frown, the hovering hand, the silent sigh) before Bruce walks away.
“Don’t be stupid next time.”
Jason rolls his eyes, shoves another freshly-laundered shirt in his bag, checks that his wallet and phone are still in his pocket so he doesn’t have to meet Cass’s gaze. Of all the Bats, she’s the one who manages to make him feel guilty about not making more of an effort to do the bullshit happy-families crap instead of just feeling irritated like he does whenever the others bring it up.
“Thanks for the advice,” he retorts sarcastically. “I’ll make sure
"Hey,” she grabs his arm, forces him to turn around and look at her, pokes a finger against his chest because - and this is one of his favourite things about Cass - she’s not afraid to fight dirty. “Take care of yourself. Or we will.”
Jason winces. Partly because his chest is still a bit sore and she pokes hard, but mostly because he knows that’s a promise as much as a threat. “Okay, okay. Jesus. Fine.”
Cass nods, satisfied, then steps back and smiles. Small and beautiful and gentle and overflowing with compassion. If Jason had to have someone looking out for him, he reckons he probably couldn’t do much better than her. And since he’s being sappy and sentimental, he can admit that the rest of them aren’t too bad either.
But that doesn’t mean he’s not glad to finally be getting out of the Manor and going back to his safehouse to finish recovering in peace.
“I am” I giggle coming just a bit closer to Him and leading my hand to his jaw, holding his head tightly looking straight at me “you have no idea, guys lashes are so much prettier and long and ugh I’m jealous” I say in excitement “you are lucky”
“Yeah yeah” he says not caring so much “don’t poke my fucking eye” he says in warning, being very serious about it
“I won’t” I chuckle “now open up and stay still” I say open the tube of mascara with one hand and leading the wand towards his eye
“That’s what she said” he mumbles wanting to laugh and I kick him lightly telling him to not move.
I see how his eyes water a little when I pass the mascara on his lashes and get a little closer to his eye, but when I get three coats on him. I stop and admire my master piece. His eye was popping, the blue of his iris was standing out amazingly looking so beautiful I couldn’t stop staring.
“Wow” I say Being very impressed “you look fantastic”
“Thanks” he blinks “I hate the feeling though” he shakes his head “And you do this every day?”
I smile “every morning”
His eyes widen and he looks at me being very impressed.
“I don’t know how you do it” he says to finally shake his head and say “now take it off”
“And I don’t know why” I giggle nervously “What do you think the fans will say about this?” I ask curiously
“Like I’ve never shaved before” he chuckles pulling out all the necessary items from the bathroom’s drawer. “It’s no big deal, I’m sure they won’t even notice”
“I know but” I say swinging my legs while sitting on the bathroom’s counter “still, you’ve been growing that beard for quite a long time, I’m sure they will say something like…” I say stopping to think “Michael looks like a baby again, what’s next?”
“A very clean and incredibly handsome baby” he completes making me laughs a little “ready?” He asks me raising his eyebrows.
“Yes sir” I say in a decisive voice “what do I do first?” I ask looking at the tools beside me.
“So, first you grab the big brush and the bowl” he says To me while I grab the stuff he mentions “take the gel and with just a bit of water you mix it with that and put all the foam on my face” he instructs
In a matter of seconds, I coat the entire brush in foam and pass it through his face carefully through all of his beard areas, making sure to not leave any spots “done” I mumble.
“Alright” he nods taking the bowl from my hands and passing me the razor “you’re ready then”
“Um…” I silently whine when he gives it to me “I don’t know now” I pout looking at him “will you hate me if I cut you?” I say giving him a sad look that wasn’t real at all but still, I was nervous for this.
“You will do just fine, Cmon” he says encouraging me but I give a step back
“say it! ‘I solemnly swear I won’t stop loving you if you cut me’” I exclaim pointing at him with the razor.
“Babe, that won’t happen because I know you’re gonna cut me” he chuckles “I can handle it and if it makes you feel better… I solemnly swear it” he laughs “get to work, I wanna go watch a movie”
I pout more but instantly get over this and move to start shaving him. It takes us approximately 20 long minutes, a lot of patients and 4 intents from me to back out after I saw him making a couple of weird faces, but after all of it, I was finally done. I clean his face with a towel dumped in warm water.
He turns around when I’m done cleaning, seeming pleasantly surprised when seeing himself in the mirror
“You did well!” He smiles at me through the mirror and passes his hand over his now clean face “see? No cuts, you did it babe” he cheers and turns around to thank me with a kiss.
“I’m glad I did well, it was scary as fuck” I chuckle nervously “but you know what’s the best part?” I smile
“What?” He asks looking at his reflection again
“You look a ton sexier now”
“Well, I’m sorry!” I say sarcastically “I just like how long your hair is at the moment but I love you with short hair, so yeah I’m excited for this, sew me”
“I probably will” he says, obviously joking while still sitting on the high chair in front of me “I am not sure about this babe, look” he says turning around “I don’t need to do this”
“You literally have an Afro” I say in excuse
“Luke is not cutting his hair for tour” he tried to argue
“Don’t you wanna start touring again with a fresh cut?” I fight back while grabbing all the supplies I needed “You know what they say” I say grabbing the comb in my hands “fresh start, better results”
“Who says that?” He scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. “I swear I’ve never heard anyone saying such a thing”
“Me” I smile, laying my hand on his shoulder and leaning to kiss his cheek “I say it”
Without giving him any warning I grab the machine to start cutting his hair and turn it on. I feel his shoulder tense under my hand and his left hand grabbing it keeping it where it was and not letting me do any move “be careful” he says in a warning tone “I don’t want to be bald”
“Yeah yeah” I say not caring at all.
The machine buzzes and without telling him anything, I run the machine once against his scalp taking out a big chunk of hair. “Oh yes” I say letting it fall on the floor. “That was a big one”
“There’s no turning back” he sighs looking down “babe, i swear if it doesn’t look good, you’re gonna pay for It”
“I used to work at a man’s salon, don’t worry about it, i know what I’m doing” I say with a big smile tracing the machine up his head one more time “yes” I hissed “this is satisfying”
“Jesus” he sighs “do whatever you want, but I beg you, don’t make me regret it”
“You won’t” I chuckle and turn to look at him “you will look cute on my eyes in any look you wear”
His look soften “thanks babygirl” he says leaning and pecking my lips “now, please finish”
“This is an exciting moment” he said in a barely offended tone “look, I’ve been looking forward for you to teach me how to play this thing for like a year” he says taking a sit beside me on the music room.
“Why do you want to learn how to play it?” I smile leaning my head on his shoulder “it’s so boring, I swear, I even almost fell asleep daily while practice”
“Because it looks interesting” he argues passing his arm around my shoulders “not many people learn how to play the violin”
“Because is really boring and expensive” I laugh and raise my head, moving away from his hold and taking the instrument from the floor “Well I know you can’t read my pentagrams.. but I’ll teach you just the basics”
He smiles taking the violin from my hand and laying it on his lap.
“Alright” I smile just a little and place myself in front of him “so, this goes up on your shoulder” I explain to him, pointing at the base in the back of violin “and your hand is not in a very good position” I chuckle correcting his hold just a little. With my finger I lift his chin and move it to the side, giving support to the instrument “that’s better” I mumble.
He raises his eyebrows and looks at me “this certainly an uncomfortable position” he mumbles in a deep voice.
“Sit up straight, big boy” I command him and he does as I say.
Carefully I place his finger on the strings to make a chord, deciding to instead of just explaining the entire thing to him, it was better to just let him go by the basics.
I place the stick in his other hand. Making his hand hold it correctly as I place it there. “Now, press softly but not too soft” I instruct “and you’re gonna drag very delicately the stick down here from down to top, don’t get scared if the strings vibrate a little, it’s okay”
He hums and does as I say once again, the sound he produces with the instrument was certainly not a pretty one, a sound that made me cringe and made me realize, I really suck at teaching stuff.
“Was it bad?” He asks curiously.
“Well” I smile uncomfortably “stick to your instrument, honey” I sadly smile, kissing his cheek. But being one hundred percent honest, I don’t think he was going to stand learning violin.
Warning : I put this up in the first chapter , but for those who don’t remember : this fic does not intend to romanticise violence in anyway. If you’re uncomfortable with Jung Kook being physically violent with the oc, you should probably leave.
Seriously, he hurts her . Fair warning okay? Don’t be calling me a jerk later, okay?
y’all into some weird shit, lol.
just kidding, i’m one of you.
“So, Seokjin tells me you guys are planning to move back to Seoul for a while?” My mother said brightly, cutting into her steak with delicate movements, the rings on her finger glinting in the light from the ornate chandelier. I swallowed dryly, the food tasting like sandpaper on my tongue and the soft music from the violin quartet grating on my ears.
“It’s temporaray, ommonim. I have a tenure at the Seoul university for eight months and the Hospital is transferring me there for the duration. Would be ahassle to commute every week.” Seokjin smiled , reaching out and pressing his thumb into my lower lip, carefully wiping away a bit of sauce before sticking the finger into his mouth. “ You looked like a vampire there, jagi…” He winked.
I managed a weak smile while my father chuckled and poured him some more wine.
“To think you guys have already been married for nearly three years. Seems like just yesterday, Ah Reum was begging us to get her out of marrying JungKook.” My mother laughed tactlessly and i froze. So did Seokjin and my father, who reached out and actually gripped my mother’s wrist in annoyance. My mother blinked, a little drunk on the wine and trying to process what she’d done wrong and i suddenly felt sorry for her.
What must it be like , to always be the clueless innocent woman in the room who wears her heart on her sleeve, believes every lie her husband , her son in law and even her daughter feed her. My mother thought i had a happy marriage . My mother thought I had a happy life.
“It’s okay Mama. It is funny.” I said softly. Jeon Jung kook. Jung kook. Kookie, i miss you so damn much…
“He used to be a good boy back then. Nice and polite. He’s very famous now. Popular too.” My mother said brightly.
Seokjin’s fingers began tapping on the table and i swallowed.
“Will you guys mind if we get an apartment in seoul? It’s quite a long commute for Jin if we stay with you guys.” I said , changing the subject swiftly.
My father waved it off swiftly.
“of course, of course. You young people need your privacy. I’ll get my secretary to get the listings and this will be my treat, okay?” He smiled.
“What, no, abeonim we can pay for it!” Seokjin said quickly but my father held his hands up.
“Not at all! Let me do this for you. I’ll make sure it’s the best one. Right over the Han river.” He grinned. “ Only the best for my doctor son-in-law.”
The pride in my father’s voice rang loud and clear.
For them, marrying Seokjin would be the only thing to my credit. The only thing that redeemed an otherwise disappointing daughter. I clenched my fists. I felt incredibly lonely, surrounded by the only poeple whom i could call family.
They didn’t know me, i thought miserably. They loved me yes, but they didn’t know me.
None of them did.
My mother knew my favorite food, knew when I first had my period, knew that i was allergic to cashews. She knew all that but she didn’t know that i was miserable. She didn’t know that I was dying on the inside.
My father knew how much money my interior design firm made. He managed the thing for me and he got me high flying clients. He knew which brand of clothes i liked, knew how much i hated red wine. But he didn’t know that I wasn’t in love with Seokjin. Didn’t know that everytime he touched me I saw someone else.
He knew it all.
Knew I didn’t love him. Knew I was miserable. knew I was dying inside . Knew that I would never love him. Knew that it would always, always be Jung Kook.
But the difference was this : he knew but he really didn’t care.
“You’re done getting ready right? Party starts at seven ” Seokjin called out from the living space and I grimaced, struggling with the suitcase and maneuvering it to a corner of the room. I wasn’t ready yet and i quickly slipped out of my shirt and grabbed the dress on the bed.
Seokjin stepped in , just as I managed to pull the zipper up about an inch before it got stuck, refusing to budge. Hysteria threatened over the small action, my nerves frayed beyond endurance. I wanted to burst into tears over the stubborn zipper.
Seokjin must’ve sensed the storm brewing inside me, because he reached out and made gentle shushing noises before smoothing his palms over my back.
The touch startled me and I shrank back instinctively.
“Stay still… "He said grabbing my shoulders when I tried to move away from him.
He brushed my hand away and I swallowed meeting his gaze in the reflection of the mirror, his knuckles cold against my bare back as he gently gripped the zipper and slowly pulled it up, his hand purposely caressing my skin as he zipped the dress.
I bit down my lips in consternation. I had no idea what he was trying to do to me. Once he was done, he moved his hands back up to my shoulders, squeezing lightly. He smiled at me through the mirror and it was the most beautiful ,most terrifying thing I’d ever seen."We look good together, don’t you think? ” he said suddenly.
“Seokjin, I want to leave. ” My voice shook only a little which was surprising.
He didn’t respond, merely humming and grabbing the bulk of my long hair in his closed fist before gently pulling it aside to reveal the curve of my neck.
I stared at him through the mirror while he bent low and lightly kissed the edge of my shoulders.
“No. ” He said casually and frustration began to eat away at my insides.
“I… I want to leave. I know this is messed up and I’ve been thinking that we should end this , before it gets worse… ”
He gave me a calculative look before gripping my shoulders. But i took a deep breath and barrelled on.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said. I do care for Jung Kook. And honestly, whether he’s getting married or not, I cannot start a family with you. "I stared at him. "Seokjin… "
He stared at me for a long minute.
“No.” He said softly. My throat went dry at how cold he sounded.
"I don’t love you… I won’t love you… Ever… You…. ” the words just tumbled out of my tongue, almost like a reflex.
“Yet. You don’t love me yet. But you have a lifetime to change your mind. ” He said softly , shaking his head like I had said something very very foolish.
“I’m trying to help both of us? Why won’t you listen to me?? !!” I shouted in frustration.
“You are my wife. I’m your husband. You’ll stay in my life and my bed. End of discussion. ” he snapped, turning me around roughly and pushing me up against the dresser, his lips closing over mine in punishing force. I pushed hard but he barely budged, grabbing my wrists and pinning my hands down against the teakwood surface before using his free hand to yank the zipper down again.
He wouldn’t let go of me, his grip hard, exacting and painful. I growled when he kissed me again , this time his tongue pushing into my mouth , demanding things that I didn’t want to give.
And then he relaxed his grip, a little but not enough to let me get away, pulling back to freeze me in place with his stare. I stared up at him. He was tall, too tall for me to look without hurting my neck. The cold from the open window made me shiver.
“Let’s go to bed. ” He whispered and I shook my head.
“I’m a second away from forgetting that you’re my husband and kicking you where it really hurts.” I gritted out.
He sighed and trembled a little as he pulled me close, in a half hug. I stared over his shoulders and blinked back tears of frustration . It was like waking out of a nightmare into something worse. Seokjin felt so warm against me. His body felt so good against mine. So solid and comforting. So safe. But there was no safety in his arms. There was only pain . I felt my tears slide off my chin and onto his shirt, soaking the silk .
"Stop fighting me. And stop crying. I’m not hurting you at all. I’ve never hurt you. I always treated you like a bloody queen. You shouldn’t want to leave me. ” he muttered, sounding furious.
“I’m not a Queen. I don’t even want to be treated like one. Let me go, Seokjin….”
“Your skin is so soft. So warm. And God, I feel like I’ve been so cold for so long. I want to touch you everywhere. ” He said turning his head slightly to suckle on the skin of my neck. Sensation shot through me, all the way to the heels of my feet. Odd sensations that made me feel pleasure that I didn’t want to feel .
I tugged on my wrists, trying to get away , frustration bubbling out of me in a whimper.
He ignored me completely, pulling back to grab the edges of the gown, sliding the fabric off my shoulders and down over my breasts with ease. I grabbed at the material like a drowning woman grabbing a lifeline, holding it up against my chest in genuine despair.
“Are you listening to me???” I shouted angrily.
It seemed to shake him out of whatever trance he was in.
“You’re such a selfish bitch!” He shouted suddenly. “ We’re fucking married! Why can’t you get that into your empty head! that bastard is engaged to someone else!!”
“I will kill you if you touch me like that again!” I swore.
“Why?! You don’t want anyone but that bastard to rough you up?” He sneered.
I stared at him in disbelief.
“What the hell does that mean?”
“Oh, he told me! All about how you let him throw you around! How he wants you back now! How only he can satisfy you… Jesus, fuck… is that it?! You like rough sex?! I would’ve bloody done that!”
I shut my eyes.
“I’m not playing this sick game with you and Jung Kook. “ I snarled.
“It’s not a bloody game, fuck you!” Seokjin snapped and then seemed to get a hold on himself.
“Get yourself fixed. We’ve got a party to attend. “
He stalked out of the bedroom slamming the door behind him.
Darkness closed over Seoul, and I watched from my vantage point near the top of the hallway as scores of cars pulled into the gate of the hotel, most of them dark and luxurious, crawling along like serpents carrying venom.
I was waiting for Seokjin to escort me down to the ballroom where the creme de la creme of Seoul society gathered, marking the unofficial engagement between Lalisa Manoban And Jeon Jung Kook.
A limousine drew up and I watched Lalisa alight, her model thin body draped in a classy red grown, matched by the luscious red smile on her face.
And then, shock hit me as Jung Kook followed her out. I stared as she smiled at him, linking her hands through his.
He looked sinful and rebellious. His hair arranged in a windswept mess, while his shoulders strained against a black shirt . Three buttons were undone revealing the ivory skin underneath and his long legs were encased in slim black slacks.
He looked so good I wanted to vomit.
“Are you ready, love? ”
The voice made me turn around in surprise. I was dressed in a gown that Seokjin had chosen. A V necked lace chiffon dress in ivory white with a satin sash around my waist. My hair, which I hadn’t cut in years was braided, falling thick and long to my waist.
“I don’t feel too good… I hope you’d excuse me if I were to leave early. "I said, as he led me down the stairs, his hand resting on my bare back. I hated backless dresses.
"of course. Once dinner is done, we can leave anytime you wish. ”
The ballroom was lavish and decorated to match the evenings colors of red white and black.
I looked at the crowd, thought of how close I’d come to getting away from all this, and then felt my blood run cold as a pair of very familiar and terrifying jet black eyes clashed with mine.
Jeon Jung Kook stood against an ornate pillar, eyes fixed unabashedly on me, ignoring every other person around him . A few of them followed his line of gaze and smiled awkwardly at me.
I felt my face flame. They probably wondered why the soon to be groom was ogling another woman.
Seokjin must’ve seen him too, for his hands tightened around me and he moved in closer, his fingers slipping down and curling around my waist in a proprietary stance that made my skin curl.
The gesture seemed to galvanize Jung Kook into action. He pulled away from where he’d been leaning, moving towards us and picking his way to through the crowd with a steely glint in his eye.
I felt helpless affection bubbling up inside me like a freshwater spring. Pure, unadulterated love . He caught my eye just a few seconds later and I couldn’t stop the smile that slowly tugged up my lips. I’d expected to feel a lot of things when i first saw him.
None of it materialized. All I could feel was genuine joy at being able to see him again. As he made his way over, his face remained unreadable. Hushed whispers all around . I couldn’t blame them. He looked like he’d stepped right out of a movie. Incredibly handsome. Incredibly real.
“Kookie…” I whispered gently when he slowly came closer.
“Don’t say a word. "Seokjin said ,a hint of warning in his tone.
It was kind of a pointless threat. Fear had glued my tongue to the roof of my throat.
"May I have this dance ?” Jung Kook said calmly, holding a hand out to me.
A couple of people near us began whispering.
I didn’t blame them.
No one was dancing.
And as host and hostess, Lisa and Jung Kook were the ones supposed to lead the dance.
Seokjin looked surprised and I was vaguely aware that the Minister for Tourism was standing close-by. He couldn’t risk antagonising Jung Kook in public, not with the deal looming over his head.
“I’m sorry, she’s not feeling too well. Perhaps another time. ” Seokjin said, his face strained with the effort to sound civil.
Jung Kook bowed in response, before turning to the jazz musicians standing on the raised podium to the left.
“Please make it a slow one. For the lovely Mrs. Kim. ”
And that was that.
Jung Kook all but pulled me to his side and for once, I wished my husband had protested more strongly . i wasn’t ready for this.
It was a slow song, as requested and I kept my gaze straight, my eyes fixed firmly in the lapel of his shirt. I was wearing sky high heels, yet he towered over me.
His fingers were suspended over my back, not touching me at all and I hesitated, not sure if I should place my hand on his shoulder.
“It’s good to know you’ve learnt something from Kim Seokjin. ”
For a second, I was sure he was referring to my clothes.
“How to use people and toss them away.” he continued, his fingers barely brushing my skin as we moved. I wasn’t that good, so I clung to his shoulders, the hard muscles flexing underneath my touch.
“I wonder what he’s done to you, how did he manage to charm you body and soul .” he said, when I didn’t reply.
“How have you been?” My voice cracked a little.
“You look .. Good.”
I didn’t enjoy saying it, but anything else would encourage him to interfere further. And this wasn’t his battle to fight.
His fingers closed around my waist at that. Hard enough to hurt. I swallowed the painful whimper that threatened to spill out.
I gasped at how cold they felt against my bare skin and to my utter chagrin, he moved them up to my shoulders, down my arm and pulled me closer, till I was flush against him.
“And you look like his whore. I want to rip his arms out for touching you…” He whispered.
My fingers curled on the fabric of his shirt and he hissed.
I swallowed the hurt. This was the way Jeon Jung Kook always reacted, after all. Project his own hurt into someone else.
“I know you’re hurt. I just… I want you to stop hurting because of me… ” I said, my voice shaking a bit.
I went still when he let out a harsh growl.
“You should have bloody thought of that before you married him!! Fuck you!! I spent hours outside your home, all night, in the cold begging you to come out, the eve of your wedding. I would have fucking given up everything for you!! Everything!!”
“Jung Kook, that isn’t fair!! if you gave up your singing for me, you would have hated me for it!!” I protested desperately.
“ Do you fucking think, I cared more about my singing than I cared about us!! I didn’t!! But you… you don’t even know what love is…. if you did , you wouldn’t have shattered my heart the way you did, three years ago… I loved you, goddamnit and you didn’t even give me a chance to fight for that love!! All my life, I’ve hated losing!! But you….. You didn’t even give me the chance to fight…. I may not have deserved your love but God knows i at least deserved a chance to fight for us!! But you took that away from me and i will never forgive you for that.!! ”
The words were whispered into my ears and it felt like liquid heat was being pumped into my nerves.
“Stop. "I whispered . If anyone looked closely, and I knew Seokjinwas looking closely, it would be clear that I was shaking.
"Stop what,?? Telling you the truth. I think you deserve to hear it , don’t you? Deserve to hear just how badly you destroyed me when you left..”
I shut my eyes in despair.
“I’m sorry I left without saying anything to you. It was hard for me as well. ” I said hoarsely, sucking in my breath when his fingers fluttered against the side of my breast.
“I’ll make it easy. Leave him. Come to me. Become my mistress ”
I missteped on the dance floor, nearly falling.
“I want you back in my bed. That’s where you get to do your penance. You want my forgiveness? You can earn it back on your nees , on your back and on my bed.” He whispered, bending low to blow hot air into my ear.
“You’re insane.” I whispered.
“Only for you. Come to me. I want you back.”
It sounded like an order, which wasn’t surprising, because this was Jeon Jung Kook.
The song came to a stop.
“Go to hell.” My voice shook a bit .
I pulled away from him but before he could respond, stumbling a little and gasping when familiar fingers closed over my upper arm, again too forceful to be innocent. Pain shot up my arm and I glared at my husband.
“What did he say? ” Seokjin hissed, pulling me so close that a few people laughed and cheered. I grimaced inwardly as his arms went around me, like he wanted to wipe every single touch away.
“That this gown makes me look ugly. ”
Seokjin glared at me briefly before pulling me closer.
“We’ll talk about this later. ” he whispered and I tried not to flinch.
As we danced, I could feel a pair of vindictive brown eyes on me. But I didn’t turn around to verify.
“Stay in the car. I just got a call from the Director of my hospital. I need to take this. Then we talk about Jung Kook.” Seokjin said firmly, while I sat down in the back of the limousine . I sighed, tired and exhausted. I wanted to get away from everyone.
“Fine.” I said miserably. I settled back against the seats and shut my eyes, trying to keep the emoitons at bay. I didn’t want to start crying in the damn car.
The Next second, I felt a hand close over my mouth and I started scream, only to have the sound smothered out of me. My eyes flew open in panic and I flailed, freezing in shock when I saw who it was.
“ Drive….” He hissed into the intercom, pressing the button that put up the partition between the driver and us. I felt my heart leap into my throat in shock when the car lurched and moved forward, my arms shooting out to push him away, but it was too little too late. Jung Kook pressed down on me, flattening me against the car seat , grabbing both my wrists together in a vice like grip and yanking them over my head , before pinning them to the small metal rod jutting out of the roof of the limousine.
“Jesus Christ!! What the hell do you think you’re doing?!!!” I screamed, thrashing about wildly, and trying to kick out at him but he looked downright insane as he grabbed the knot of his tie, yanking the fabric out viciously.
“Jung Kook… wait.. No…” i whispered , stunned but he was already reaching out and looping it over my wrists, tying me up swiftly . The knot was tight and string and I felt like my arm was being ripped out of my sockets, as I kneeled awkwardly on the seat, hand up and pinned over me.
Once he was done, he pulled back to stare at me , eyes resting for a second on the curve of my breasts, pushed out because of the way he’d positioned me.
“When you left me… I didn’t know what i did wrong. I wanted you. I wanted you more than I wanted anything else in the world but you wewre slipping out of my hands. And I couldn’t do anything to stop it. ” He whispered.
“And that was the most fucking helpless feeling in the world. Like my hands were tied up….Can you relate baby?” He said softly.
I shut my eyes.
“It’s… painful..” I choked, my arm beginning to cramp up.
His eyes glinted.
“Damn right it is…” He crawled forward , hand reaching out to grip my hair, right at the base of my skull. He yanked my head back, sharp and taut and i flinched as fire licked it’s way up my scalp. oh, God…
He was still the most handsome man I’d ever seen, his gaze sharp, his jawline sculpted and lips perfect red against his flawless face. He stared at me now, his eyes glinting with emotions unsaid. Emotions too strong to be voiced.
“You owe me an apology.” He whispered.
“A proper one. And i’m going to get it from you. Starting from today. “
“Jung Kook, don’t do something you’ll regret…” I whispered.
He hummed and pressed a palm against my face.
“I’m not going to fuck you, don’t worry. “ He rubbed his thumb against my lower lip. “ I’m just going to give your hubby something to remember me by. I think you owe him an apology too right? Poor bastard.. you strung him along pretty well…”
i jumped when his hand sort out and gripped my braid, right near the scalp, the force enough to make my skin burn. I swallowed a whimper of pain and willed myself not to scream when he yanked me sharply by my hair, still I was wedged against his shoulder , arms stretched so hard that I was choking .
“Deja vu?” He questioned, reaching out to his boot and yanking out a disturbingly familiar knife. i closed my eyes in disbelief. He wouldn’t.. Would he?? Not again!
“Jung Kook. ” I whispered.
“Say it. Say you don’t want me to touch you. I’ll stop. And you walk out of this car and my life. Forever. Say it.” He whispered, breath hot against my ears.
I didn’t say anything. instead I shut my eyes.
I felt the pressure of the blade against my cheeks, briefly, the ice cold metal burning my flushed skin and then his hands moved up to my hair and he slashed my hair quickly.
The pressure eased from my hair just as I felt tears well over my eyes.
But my hair didn’t fall, the way i thought it would. Instead, the braid came undone and i realized he’d merely cut the ribbon holding it up. Heart pounding, I watched as he carefully sifted fingers through my hair, letting it fall around my shoulder in waves.
“But I think that’s a bit too unoriginal….”
He reached out then and slashed the neckline of my gown, cutting through the sleeves till the fabric fell off my shoulders and pooled at my waist, leaving me naked from the waist up, covered only with my hair.
“You psycho!” I shouted in disbelief.
He leaned forward and lightly kissed my forehead. My phone began ringing right then and I swallowed.
“Don’t do it.” I whispered.
But Jung Kook was already taking the call.
“Hello, Seokjinnie hyung…” He said, voice dripping with faux sweetness. “ Oh… who…? Ah Reum?…. She’s … a little tied up with work right now..” He reached out and gripped my wrists. “ i’ll tell her you called…. tsk..tsk… language, hyung… Is that anyway to talk to your dongsaeng…..? I’ll put her on…”
He turned to me.
“Tell him you’re leaving him….I’ll let you go..” He smiled.
I glared at him. He pressed the phone to my ears and Seokjin’s frantic cursing made me flinch.
“Seokjin… I’m fine… Nothing happened…” i gritted out. Jung Kook grinned pulling the phone back . I struggled again to get away from the restraint.
“Yet. Nothing happened yet. Why don’t you just let me have her, hyung… “ He said softly , staring at me thoughtfully. “She’s mine . Always has been. Always will be.” He reached out slowly and slashed through his tie in one swift movement. The tie fell off and my arms dropped down. The sudden inertia made me lose control, falling forward right into his arms, my arms numb and wrists chafed.
“Jung Kook , enough.” I choked out, trying to pull my dress back up over me. Jung Kook gathered me closer and hung up, tossing the phone on the floor.
“You played me so well, Ah Reum… you almost made me believe you loved me back then….“ He said softly, grabbing my thighs and yanking me into his lap till i was straddling his thighs, fingers curling on his shoulders as i tried to steady myself. I stared adown at him, one hand still gripping the dress to my chest.
“I did love you… ” I managed to say. His palms moved down to grip the back of my knees before stroking up to my thighs, slipping under my skirt with ease and for some reason, the touch of his hands on my skin punched the air right out of my lungs.
“You’re a fucking liar “ He pressed back against the seats and rolled his hips up into mine, the hard jut of his arousal pressing right into me. “ Recognize this? You lost your virginity to me in a car… remember?”
“You need to stop…” I grunted.
Jung kook growled and gripped me harder and I glared at him. “ Let me go you brute!!”
“You’re so fucking difficult with me. Fuck, I bet you let that Seokjin do whatever the hell he wanted. He looks like a kinky fuck…” He grated out.
“No … he’s not a bloody monster like you.. he’s never hurt me…” I snarled , kicking out wildly and whining when his fingers dug into my inner thighs.
“Oh, yeah… A gentleman…
But we both know that’s not your style, right sweetheart ? You like it rough don’t you babe? You like it when i grip your hair and squeeze your throat, bet that makes you wet, doesn’t it? Why else are you still here….pining for me after all these years…?”
“Oh get over yourself..” i panted out, gripping his shoulders as his fingers pressed up against my ribcage, his body caging me .
I sighed when his fingers moved up, found the curve of my breast through my bra and squeezed lightly, thumb reaching out to flick my nipple before his teeth sank into the curve of my neck. I curled my fingers into the fabric of his soft silk shirt, biting my lips to keep the groan in. He rocked his hips gently against my center and my eyes rolled back in my skull, savoring the feel of his hardness pressing back and forth against my softness.
“ Don’t lie to me , Reumie….” The childhood petname tugged on my heart strings. “ You love it…. love the thought of me making you hurt so bad that it starts to feel good. You’d love it if I bent you over backwards and fucked you till you can’t walk straight. I could fuck you all night and make you scream so loud, it would wake the neighbours. ” He drawled in one single breath and i had to clench my thighs together to stop myself from whimpering a little.
“Look at you… coming undone, just from my words. Bet you want to touch yourself real bad, right baby?” He whispered ,
lips closing over the pulse point on my neck and sucking a blooming bruise into the skin. I moaned a little, feeling a bit like my head was filled with cotton wool.
“Go ahead… Take some of that pressure off…” He whispered.
And what he did next was simultaneously the hottest, most humiliating thing to ever happen to me. His fingers found the waist band of my panties and he yanked it off easily, before gripping my wrists, palm closing over the back of my hand leading it down till my fingers were pressed against my clit.
“Jung Kook…” I sobbed, out, stunned went he pressed down on my fingers, making them rub circles on my clit till my head lolled forward and hit his shoulder. i hadn’t had sex in a long time and I could feel my wetness dripping out into his thighs as he flisked his wrist, pressing again till three of my fingers slipped inside without any warning. I choked on air trying to scramble off him but he gripped my waist with his free hand, pinning me in place as he pushed my fingers in and out of me. i was so high strung that all it took was a few firm strokes and the feel of his teeth nipping into my nipples for me to explode around my own fingers, my mind completely blank and blown.
I stayed draped over him as he pulled my hand up gently, watching cross eyed as he casually licked each of my fingers, eyes boring holes into mine.
Suddenly the car stilled and I gasped when he dropped me unceremoniously on the seat.
“Too bad you can’t have any of that. Not unless you leave that guy . Leave him and become mine. ”
i stared at him, stunned. I was still groggy, still riding on the high from my orgasm.
“You.. You want me to marry you??” i said stupidly.
“Why ? So you can break my heart all over again? No, baby. I want you back so I can finally get you out of my system. “ He smiled. I felt my spine stiffen in anger.
“You’re delusional…” I snapped.
“Am I? This isn’t going to stop…. you think i’m going to back off?”
i groaned. Why did he have to be the one? Of all the men in Korea, why did i fall for the most stubborn, most violently irrational being to ever exist?
“You’re not being fair…I still love…”
“SHUT UP!!! SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!!” He shouted…” You never loved me! You don’t destroy the person you love! You don’t leave them stranded , lost and alone! You pitied me!! Felt sorry for the poor abused kid who couldn’t stand up to his father and you played me like a fucking fiddle.,.. well guess what? I’m not that guy anymore. You had your chance with the Jung Kook who really loved you…. And you fucking blew it… You can repair the damage that you wrecked on me and then you disappear from my sight! Forever!”
He grabbed his jacket and slipped it back on before slamming the door open and climbing out.
“Go tell your husband i made you cum without even touching you. “ He stalked away and I groaned into the seat in defeat.
I was so screwed.
AUTHOR’S NOTE : This is me apologizing for being a little sick in the head. Hope you enjoyed it.. Comments are welcome.
listen el can't be dead. everyone's assuming he's dead (shoot me im in denial if he is LMAO) BUT HE CANT. 1. that is a normal damned knife and we all learned it takes a special weapon to kill the gods. 2. body did not disappear like every other deity 3. i'D LIKE TO THINK HE'S JUST TAKING A BREAK FORM ALL THE BULLSHIT AND WILL REAPPEAR OKaaaYY ;__; cries so hard
I’m with you into the denial hell lol, but you may be 50% right.
It’s true, it was only a knife, that’s why I was pretty sure Rita would have been able to save him. Then, sure, El is an angel, but let’s not forget Jeanne is his mother, a human, so he’s born as half human at least. That’s why I thought at worst he’d have lost his holy powers, but that other than that he’d have been fine.
SO YEAH, denial it is, and as the hours are passing by I want to trust the Jesus theory more lol
Can you imagine El waking yup three days later stretching and yawing going like “Mmmmh wassup? Why those speechless faces yall? Oh right, forgot to tell you, the blondie stabbed me”
It’d be hilarious, but not really snb-like (still, you get my point Mappa, let him be Jesus, pretty please)
We all hunger and thirst for things. For some it’s status. For others it is money or power. Jesus is telling us that those passions will ultimately not satisfy. How many interviews with successful people do we need to see before it sinks in that hunger for success doesn’t satisfy? Jesus told us two thousand years ago that only righteousness will satisfy the hunger within. When we hunger for that we are truly filled.