jesus my head is about to explode

i used to be sad all the time but now im just so fucking angry. im angry that im up until three in the morning every single day with the thought of you stuck on replay because no matter how many times i try to shatter the record, my record player has your voice memorized and you are all i can hear in the quiet of my room and you are haunting me and you’re not even a fucking a ghost and i am so tired of being haunted by the living. i am angry because every song is about you. every song brings me back to you and reminds me of your eyes or your voice or your laugh and how it was a melody to my ears, how it was the thing that soothed me on my darkest nights and how now, i am implacable and my music is so loud all i can hear is the song that’s playing but between songs your name slips in and it kills me. im so angry that you slipped away from me. no. you didn’t slip away because i held you so tight and you pried my fingers away from your ribs and you pushed me away without any hint of goodbye and im so angry that i let it happen again. because i thought this time, you’d be the one who stayed but again, someone has left me. and i was convinced that i was finally locked down but you keep getting in and i know it’s my fault because i cannot stop leaving the key under my “welcome home” matt and i know nothing is inviting about letting ghosts of past lovers inside of your very own house but jesus fuck this is the only way i can get by without suffocating and choking up my lungs and im afraid that bullet holes were never just scratch the surface wounds because i have a war zone in my head and the bullets keep grazing my chest and there is nothing romantic about the way you force me to swallow gun powder because now i am a ticking time bomb and you convinced me it would save me but i am afraid if i hear your name im going to explode and obliterate everything in my path. you have made me destructive but still i am open arms for you and i am so angry at myself for letting it happen again but i must keep you alive and the only way i can reach you anymore is by turning off the lights and waiting for the haunting with tears streaming down my face and shaky hands, i will close my curtains, shut off the lights, and wait. i am ready for your return. i am not scared anymore. haunt me, please.
—  excerpt from a book i’ll never write due to the fear of you reading it // ig writingmyself

anonymous asked:

Could you make a smut where you and harry get horny and decide to have some 'private time' on tour and when you guys are so close some one walks in on you guys (preferably one of the boys) and makes fun of you both afterwards??

It didn’t help that Harry’s eyes had barely left you since he walked offstage earlier. It didn’t help that he kept sending you increasingly sexual texts. And it certainly didn’t help that you were close to your period and every hormone in your body was screaming at you to sit on your boyfriend’s dick, regardless of the fact that you two are in public.

The sexual tension had begun before the boys even went onstage. In a private dressing room, you sat on his lap in a chair in the corner, carding your fingers through his hair and talking about random things to keep his nerves down. Both of you knew that there wasn’t enough time for sex of any kind, but that didn’t stop Harry’s hands from settling over your thighs and hips, sliding just under your shirt enough to feel your skin. It didn’t stop you from exchanging lingering kisses that burned with longing underneath the surface. It didn’t stop Harry from nuzzling his way up under your jaw, breathing in the scent of your skin and eventually sucking a light bruise there as you tug on his hair. You could see the way Harry adjusted himself a tad uncomfortably when Paul knocked and said it was time for go on, giving you a slightly rueful look. You’d stood on your tiptoes to supply him with his good luck kiss, and the way his fingers had curled tightly around your hips for that brief moment told you that this wasn’t over, far from it.

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Time Strangers (5/5)

Charming and Snow were talking, a bit warmly in Emma’s opinion.  She could see the sparks between them, and felt abject relief that they seemed to be back on track.  Her existence seemed to be in less danger now. 

They’d made a brief camp after escaping the castle, rejoining Red Riding Hood and a few of the dwarves in the forest.  They all seemed to be grateful to take a breath, though the woman Emma had rescued sat by herself, looking wistful and sad. 

Neal approached Emma, gently putting a hand on her shoulder.  He hadn’t said a word about the incident with Graham, for which she was grateful.  She wasn’t ready to talk about it, instead choosing to poke the campfire with a stick. 

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I know, I'm an idiot

Honestly y'all
Before I knew swan queen was a thing, I was absolutely baffled by the way Emma and Regina treated each other. Especially the way Emma was so concerned about Regina’s safety. I mean I know Henry cares about them both but COME ON. I knew there was something more there, but romantic relationship just flew over my head. I just DIDN’T GET IT. It really annoyed me tbh. One day, I saw a swan queen post on my dash and I swear to our lord and Jesus savior, my mind exploded. I don’t know why(internalized heteronormativity probably with a dash of relationship illiteracy) but I just couldn’t see it. Once I did though, oh man, OH MAN. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Today, it takes up a significant amount of my time, and I love it. It’s probably the only thing I can do/think about to make me feel happier instantly. I really want to understand my obsession over this ship extensively, and I do a little more each day. It honestly opened my eyes. I discovered this whole new world, and I love it(which is exceptionally exciting because I don’t like a lot of things).