jesus my hair is getting long

Blowjob

Deadpool x Reader

Warnings: It’s fucking Deadpool. 

Summary: Your girl Nega hooks you up with Wade Wilson. 

Originally posted by my-daily-space

The bar was dingy as fuck.

Fuck it was downright biowaste, but it was the place your date picked. And now you were questioning the whole damn thing.

Cursing Nega under your breath for setting you up with her ‘friend’, you hustled into the bar and looked down at your phone. Quickly you texted the number of Wade Wilson, the man you had been talking to on and off for the last week and a half.

“I’m here.”

A second later, your cell buzzed. “Holy shit you’re way hotter in person. Fuck me.”

Another buzz. “Full disclosure, I have a boner.”

Another buzz. “Also my penis is big.”

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9

🖤🖤 200 FOLLOWERS GIFT🖤🖤

SO LONG OVERDUE JESUS CHRIST
Kind of just a random mishmash of cc that I thought was cool. You get:

- Anto’s Brave clayified. Need (MESH)

- 8 group poses, MUST have these 3 props: (tipped/upright shopping cart, accessory iphone)

Have fun! Like, reblog, bla bla bla

- DOWNLOAD -

Flowers - Alfie Solomons

Can I ask for an Alfie imagine? His wife is his total oposite, sweet, calm and hes totally whipped. Im just a sucker for romantic Alfie😍 

———————————————————————-

“Mornin’ Ollie!” I call as I walk into the ‘bakery’.

“Mornin’ Mrs Solomons,” he mumbles before turning back to whatever he was doing.

It’s always the same when I walk in, a mumbled greeting and then complete avoidance of eye contact. I don’t take it personally because I know Alfie’s threatened each and every one of these men, individually, about making eyes at me, but I still always make the effort to know them all and engage in friendly conversation.

“How are you feeling now Ollie?”

“Umm, not too bad I suppose,” he replies, keeping his eyes on the book in front of him.

“Honestly? Because if you need some time to rest up you can-”

“No! Alfie would kill me, he needs me here.”

I’ve learnt over the years not to argue with Ollie when it comes to Alfie; his loyalty will always prevail over common sense.

“Well, I know a doctor who’ll see you out of hours. Want me to give him a call?”

His lack of objection says enough.

I place a gentle hand on his arm. “Take it easy though, yeah? You don’t need to go at 100% all the time.”

He nods and mumbles his thanks before rushing off clutching his books and papers to his chest.

I carry on towards Alfie’s office, greeting the men I pass on the way.

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Dating Tony Padilla would include...

Originally posted by female-winston

  • helping him work on his car
  • “You know y/n, you’re the one thing I love more than my car.”
  • “I’m honored Padilla.”  
  • cooking dinner together when you have the house to yourselves
  • he has tons of pet names for you including babe, mi amor, and hun
  • him and his brothers “taking care of” any one who hurts you in anyway
  • car sex
  • random drives in his mustang
  • making mixtapes for each other
  • he’s not big on pda, but he still holds your hand in the hallways
  • when you’re alone he’s all over you
  • hickies on your collarbone
  • he loves taking pictures of you in or next to his car
  • “My two babies.”
  • very thoughtful and out of the box dates
  • sex with Tony is always insanely passionate
  • climbing up the same mountain he took Clay
  • “Can’t keep up Padilla?”
  • “Maybe I’m just enjoying the view.”
  • double dates with Clay and Hannah
  • he’s always looking out for you (making sure you eat your food lmaooo)
  • giving each other massages after stressful days
  • stealing and wearing his leather jacket
  • kissing his tattoos
  • laughing at how long it takes him to get ready in the mornings
  • “Jesus you take longer than I do!”
  • “Hey! It takes time to look this good!”
  • messing up his hair later that night (;
  • he’s an amazing listener and always manges to give the perfect advice
  • “Clay was wrong you know. You’re totally a helpful Yoda.”
  • him casually slipping Spanish into his sentences (which you absolutely love because you get to hear snippets of his accent)
  • everyone at school shipping you together
2

- Wine and Dine. { Negan X You 

Smut under the cut. 1.8K word count.
Summary: You are one of the wives and Negan calls for you. *winkwink*
Note: I’ve been MIA so coming back I thought I’d freshen up with this gem before breaking out much needed chapters! Just some quick writing, enjoy.<3 tags have been random, please let me know if you want to be taken off.~

@negans-network @negansmutweek @fandomfreak202 @negansxlucille @buckybarnesisalittleshit @sub-miss-me @loreleilara @nattiedaunicorn @britbrat7502 @wadeyourebarelyalive @linqobe @prettyepiic @natjm13 @kawaiirepublic @happysgeishadoll @megalittlemaya @ohmyneganimagination-twd @ashzombie13 @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash @greasernegan 


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anonymous asked:

aww man if youre still looking for prompts, i would love to see the first chapter of if we bite from nursey's point of view? like, what exactly was he thinking when he brought up blowjobs to dex etc? that would be amazing!

DID YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE THIS PROMPT. BC I LOVE THIS PROMPT.

He’s not sure why he says it.

It might be the stress, or the way that studying Shakespeare makes him think about sex more than usual, or the fact that he’s scatterbrained and tired and that makes him lose his filter, but–

“God,” Nursey mumbles, mostly into Dex’s bedspread. “I’m so tense right now. I just need to suck a dick, you know?”

Dex chokes on his Red Bull and starts coughing, bending over his desk. He’s totally red, and Nursey’s not sure if it’s from what he said or the fact that he can’t breathe, but he snickers as he gets up and smacks him on the back a few times. “Jesus, Poindexter,” he laughs. “Chill.”

You chill,” Dex chokes out. “What the shit, man, you can’t just say that.”

Nursey blinks at him, all innocence, just to be a dick. He and Dex are friends now, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like riling him up. “Say what?”

Dex rolls his eyes, then puts on his Derek Voice, which he usually reserves for terrible reenactments of stories where Nursey’s done something embarrassing. “‘I just need to suck a dick,’ bro? Really?”

Satisfied that Dex is breathing again, since he’s chirping, Nursey flops back onto Dex’s bed. “Hey, we’ve all got our stress relief.”

Dex’s cheeks go pink. Nursey refuses to find this attractive. “Yeah, but like…Don’t you mean, uh, have someone suck yours?”

Oh. That’s what this is about. Nursey raises an eyebrow at him pointedly. “No,” he says. “I said what I meant.”

Dex flushes redder, mutters something about how he doesn’t think that could be relaxing, and Nursey snorts, chirps him gently. They go back and forth like that a bit, Dex getting redder and redder but still asking, not dropping it, and finally, Nursey gives up. “You really wanna know?”

Dex’s throat works as he swallows, and he shrugs. “Good to know how your d-man ticks, right?”

There’s something under his words that Nursey can’t really place, and the room feels warmer than it did before, the weird tension that’s always hovered between them thicker, tighter. Nursey licks his lips and closes his book. “Yeah, okay.” He sits up, hesitating slightly as he thinks through what he wants to say. He knows how he feels when he’s going down on someone, but he’s never had to put into words to another person before.

The closest he’s ever come is putting it on paper, but even that has just been snippets of sensation, and those poems have never seen the light of day.

“I guess it’s about turning my brain off,” he says slowly, carefully. “Y’know, you’ve just got an objective that you’re going for, and you don’t have to think about it. And it’s a lot of sensation, so there’s that, too.” He smiles, thinking a little absently of his favorite parts. “Hard to think too much when your mouth is full and someone’s got their hands in your hair and–”

“Okay, I get it,” Dex says quickly, cutting him off.

Nursey grins. “What,” he teases. “C’mon, you don’t get the same thing eating pussy?”

He knows Dex has had at least one long-term girlfriend, so it’s not out of the realm of possibility that he’s done oral–he hopes he has, at least, Jesus, he’s an asshole but he should at least be a gentleman in bed–but Dex flushes again. “Not exactly,” he says. “I was definitely still, uh, thinking.”

Huh. Nursey shrugs. “Maybe it’s just my thing, then.” Dex still looks uncomfortable, though, and honestly, he sort of is, too–this is more than they’ve ever talked about sex, just the two of them, and it’s sort of weird. And not just because the way Dex keeps looking at him when he talks is making him half-hard in his jeans. He’s grateful for the notebooks in his lap. He changes the subject to something safer. “I mean, it’s no Finer Arts of Maplewood Sanding, but–”

The tension breaks as Dex rolls his eyes. “I swear to God, bro–”

They manage another hour or so of work before Nursey has to give up again, too stressed and annoyed with his essay to keep trying to make his points flow together the way he wants them to. He closes his laptop and gets up. Dex asks if he wants to get dinner, but Nursey turns him gently down–he’s too jittery to eat, and he needs something to calm him down before he can do anything else. He’ll text Lardo first, see if he can get a joint off her; if not, he’ll try one of Sadie’s art friends–

“Or,” Dex blurts out, as Nursey’s halfway out the door.

Nursey stops. Slowly, hesitantly, he turns. Dex is staring at him, upright and rigid in his desk chair, looking a little bit like he’s not sure saying something was a good idea, but like he still has more to say. Nursey raises his eyebrows. “Uh,” he says. “Or what?”

Dex stares at him for another moment, deer-in-the-headlights, and then he seems to force himself to relax, leaning back in his chair, all casual. “I mean,” he says, letting his legs fall open slightly. Nursey does not let his gaze flicker down. He doesn’t. “I’ve got a dick?”

Nursey’s brain does the thought equivalent of a record scratch. He stares. His brain plays the Mac OXS startup music. Chimes. He stares. Dex looks back.

“Are you fucking with me right now,” he says finally, “or are you serious?”

“Serious?” Dex says. It sounds like he’s guessing. Nursey frowns at him, and Dex flushes, backpedaling, talking quickly. “I mean, y’know. Giving blowjobs relaxes you. Getting blowjobs relaxes me. Seems like a win-win?”

He’s rambling by the end, and all Nursey can do is keep staring at him, his mouth open slightly. He blinks a little, and swallows. “I thought you were straight,” he says.

Dex shrugs his shoulders. “Maybe,” he says, and Nursey thinks, wildly, maybe???, but then Dex gestures at Nursey, encompassing his whole body, which…what? “But I’m not fucking blind.”

And it’s Nursey’s turn to flush a little, his cheeks warming. Because he’s used to compliments, yeah, used to people looking at him, but for some reason it feels different, coming from Dex. He’s not really sure why. Not really sure he wants to think about why.

He takes a breath. “If you’re fucking with me, this is a seriously dick move, even for you,” he says. “Like, grade-A asshole move. You know that, right?”

Dex nods, raising his hands, as if in surrender. “Genuine fucking offer, I swear.”

Offer. Like he’s doing Nursey a favor, letting him suck his dick. Like it’s a nice thing to do, letting Nursey get his mouth on him, see what he tastes like, feels like, see if he flushes all the way down his body when he’s turned on–

Fuck. He’s really going to do this. Nursey schools his face to calm. “Yeah, alright,” he says easily, smiling, and closing the door properly. “Chill.”

Dex looks almost as startled as Nursey feels, and for a second, Nursey thinks he is going to pull a “just kidding!”, but he doesn’t. He lets Nursey chirp him about the fact that he and his suitemates are computer nerds who never get laid. He takes off his jeans. They talk about condoms and STIs, because assholes or not, they’re not idiots.

And then Dex is sitting down on the edge of his bed in his boxers and t-shirt, his cheeks flushed, the outline of a semi visible through the thin cotton of his underwear, his eyes fixed on Nursey. Nursey watches his throat move as he swallows. “You wanna?”

He pats the bed next to him, clearly expecting Nursey to blow him from there, and Nursey hesitates. That’s the piece of this that he didn’t mention, but that’s okay. Dex’ll figure it out soon enough.

“Nope,” he says. Nursey smiles, making sure he holds Dex’s gaze, steady and unbreaking, and, slowly, he sinks to his knees.

Hi my name is Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, first of her name, the Unburnt, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and of the First Men, Queen of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, Mother of Dragons and I have long silver blonde hair and purple eyes and a lot of people tell me I look like Rhaegar Targaryen (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I have pale white skin. I also have three dragons (I’m sixteen). A lot of masters stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

liibertine  asked:

What about Led Zeppelin?

by  Saṃsāran

The first time I ever smoked weed was in, I think, 1976 or 1977. I was in seventh grade and had somehow persuaded my parents to allow me to tag along with my older cousins to the Led Zeppelin concert at the San Diego Sports arena. 

I had just started letting my hair get long and was getting into the whole surf hippie thing. This was my first concert. In fact, I only owned three albums at that time Jesus Christ Superstar and two Bill Cosby records. 

My cousins, rotten bastards that they were, ditched me as soon as we got inside and I was on my own. Even before the concert started the lights were down and recorded music was blasting as laser lights played against the already smoke-filled arena.

It was “general admission” meaning that all the good seats were taken. My head was splitting from the noise and smoke but I was entranced by the spectacle. I finally found a place to sit in a back row next to a group of serious stoners, “heads” we used to call them.

After a few songs, the guy next to me passed a “joint”. A little tiny hand-rolled cigarette with some brown stuff on the paper. He mumbled to me “hash oil” and nodded. I had no idea what to do. He sensed my unease and mimed what to do. 

So, I took a huge hit. Held it and coughed my lungs out. He grinned like the Chesire cat and said: “oh man you’re gonna feel that”. He was right. In about ten minutes my mind was like a spinning top. I thought I was going to pass out. I decided to get up and move about a little.

I walked down the aisle toward the wings of the stage. Lights flashing and popping, lasers, strobes and noise, Jesus, so much noise. Everything seemed so weird. Where I was standing I could only see part of the stage but it was the part where Jimmy Page was playing. 

He was dressed in his famous wizard suit with a smoke in his mouth and a bottle of booze on the amp next to him. 

The lights dimmed. It got quiet. A spot hit Jimmy and he had a violin bow and a theremin in front of him. 

A theremin is this weird device that changes pitch depending on where you break its field. You don’t actually touch it. The band started playing “No Quarter”. It starts slow and Robert’s vocals were howling with the theremin in this strange echo effect. 

The song speeds up, Jones is doing some kind of weird magic on the keyboards and Jimmy starts to bow his guitar and play the theremin at the same time like some kind of rock and roll wizard. Plant is moaning and groaning and doing all of his rock god poses driving the girls nuts.

I was seriously trippin’ balls at this point and all of the paranoia had left me. Now it was all about the music and the spectacle. It was amazing. Simply amazing and I saw it all so close that I could have tossed a penny and hit the stage. 

To this day, after all these years I cannot remember ever having a better time at a concert. I guess one consolation for being old is that at least I got to see some of the great bands when they were in their prime.

☸ Sam ☸

Mean Queens Ch.13 (Group Fic) - NymphCAMP

Nymph’s A/N: the lord only knows how we actually managed to write this, we got distracted by everything from rewriting roxxxy’s iconic verse to fit MQ, to working out whether or not aquaria is sharon’s drag daughter. and by we i mean me. but we made it! this one’s for you doots, happy birthday you attention seeking, laganja-esque, ridiculous human <3 (is this enough attention for u bc fuck if you think you’re getting more)

pooreCOOMP’s A/N: ^i would like to mention that i provided most of the talk about aquaria by getting distracted on her ig, and also distracted nymph with sharon’s ig post. Not sorry because its here. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOOTS (aka dottie lmao) WE LOVE YOU, YOU ATTENTION SEEKING WHORE <3 (ur getting an entire chapter doots so appreciate us)

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Originally posted by leakees

Roman Reigns Blurb request - The Haircut

I heard the garage door open and smiled. I hadn’t seen Roman in a few weeks since he had gone on the overseas tour while I was stuck home rehabbing a bad knee. It had sucked. Unlike most WWE relationships, we were lucky enough to be together most, if not all, of the time. I wasn’t used to him being gone for weeks at a time without me. It made me appreciate how lucky we were as compared to most others. Honestly, I didn’t know how they did it. Not seeing him for days, sometimes weeks, at a time – seems like a pretty tough gig and one hell of a strain on relationships.

Roman strolled into the kitchen and I almost choked on my coffee, spraying it everywhere as I coughed it out. “Jesus, Linds, you okay?” He rubbed my back as I continued to sputter, tears streaming out of my eyes while I tried to catch my breath.

“What…..happened…to your….hair?” I managed to get out in between coughs.

“I had the WWE stylists trim it while we were in Europe, it was out of control babe. Jericho stepped on it mid-match and almost ripped half my hair out of my head. That felt good. Besides, it’s been a long time coming.” He flashed me a quick smile as he spoke.

Once I had regained my composure and the ability to breathe again, I studied him long and hard for a moment – pulling strands of his hair in between my fingertips. “A trim?” I looked at him incredulously. “I’d call this a little more than a trim, Ro.” I continued to run my hand through his shortened hair as I spoke. “This had to be, what – eighteen, twenty inches?” His once low-back length hair now fell to just below his shoulders. Collarbone length.

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anonymous asked:

in what film do you think hbc has the most beautifull costumes? and which one for makeup? and which one for hair?

Omg this was super hard for me to answer because I’ve never really thought about these questions (except one) and Helena has made some amazing films with some incredible costumes, hair and indeed make-up, so I think these are the ones I think are the most beautiful. Lol sorry this is going to be long.

Costumes: The Wings of the Dove (1997)

Where do I start? This was my definite first choice for the most beautiful costumes she’s ever worn because the costumes are just AMAAAAAZING. You have to understand, I adore period dramas and period costuming and these are just incredible. From the very first scene where she’s in that blue hat on the tube, to the matador costume in Venice, the shoulder detail in the blue gown above, they are exquisite and Sandy Powell did an unbelievable job of capturing the style of 1910. And also, the detail in some of these costumes are just too much. Like the peacock gown/shawl here

this is only in ONE SHOT in the whole film and the detailing is just visually stunning. I could literally go on and on about the costuming in this film and I think I will actually make an edit dedicated to it, I’m just obsessed. But yeah, these are, in my opinion, the most beautiful costumes I think Hellie has ever worn.

Makeup: Burton and Taylor (2013)

This one was a lot harder for me to choose because hbc looks beautiful in every film she’s ever made (even as an ape like wtf) but I decided on Burton and Taylor because we’ve never seen her styled like this in a film before and it really was a treat to get to see her made up like Elizabeth Taylor.

It’s safe to say that she looked absolutely amazing and these looks were just too much. The makeup really suited her. I especially liked it in the scene where she’s asking Richard about Sybil while he’s trying to go asleep, and aswell as that, getting to see Helena sitting in front of a mirror probably pretending to do her own makeup was just really nice to see? And aswell as that, getting to see her promoting the movie with winged eyeliner was an extra treat! It really looked amazing on her, she should wear it more often. Altogether, the makeup in the film was dazzling and really different to any other time we’ve seen her.

Hair: A Room with a View (1985)

Again, this was a really tough choice to make since usually whenever hbc is on screen, her hair almost becomes a character in itself and it really is always amazing in every role she does. I didn’t include the films where she’s worn wigs in this so a lot of roles were discounted lol. Finally, after much debate, I chose my second choice for the most beautiful costumes, and that was for her role as my blog’s namesake, Lucy Honeychurch in A Room with a View.

This is one of my favourite films of all time and basically, her hair is just sooooo lush here 😍😍 I mean LOOK AT IT! I’ve always wanted long, thick hair with big massive curls and when I first saw this film, the scene where Charlotte is brushing Lucy’s hair just struck me since she looked so pretty. Her hair is just sublime in this! Granted the big hair wouldn’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but I just think it’s fabulous. And lol her hair was almost bigger than she was in this film, she was so tiny here.

Again, I’m really sorry for how long this is but I got so excited when I saw this ask and I had fun watching bits of the films and picking out my favourite costumes and shots for her hair and makeup. Thank you to whoever sent this, I had lots of fun answering it!!!

fionaisaway  asked:

i used to (and still kinda have) this thing where i pull at my hair (i know the name it's just too hard to spell haha) and from the ages of 7-13 I had no eyelashes a majority of the time. my eyelashes still get super thin when i get anxious for long periods of time… can i join your club..?

YES OF COURSE OMFG THAT WOULD BE REALLY PAINFUL JESUS\

 WE ARE SUPPORTIVE OF ALL PEOPLE WHO PICK AT THINGS ON THEIR BODY!!!

Come With Me

Braun Strowman/OC: You’re contemplating a new piercing, and Braun helps you decide. Smut. Bc I have no self control.

Shoutout to @omgmissmillie for giving me this idea!!! Also for giving me another excuse to write about Braun and HIS NIP NOP PIERCINGSSSSSS. I live for Braun Strowman. I live for the nip nop piercings. I creeped on his Instagram twice three times this week at ungodly hours bc of who I am as a person. Sorry I’m not stopping with the Braun fics lmao I cannot stop the feels. Also the title is trash but whatevs.

@lavitabella87 @everybodyfinnfreeze @shadow-of-wonder

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THEY ARE GOING TO THE KISSING ROCK 

MY MOMS 

BEING ON THE RUN WITH A BABY 

WTF EMILY 

Pretty much yeah 

YOU SHOULD GO TO PARIS 

wow food and kissing rock 

AND SEX :) 

did she call ehr hanna?

what

YEAH BUT WHERE IS SPENCER ANND TOBY 

klgvhbegubvyhufyg

I SCREAMED 

i’m gonna get arrested tomorrow i wanna get drunk 

PLEASE

A BED 

:) 

see that’s the good thing about hanging out with your ex 

you can just take his shit and sip his beer and tell him everything 

my kids 

they are all my kids 

except emison they are my moms 

THEY ARE KISSING 

JESUS 

LONG HAIRED TOBIAS 

A LOT OF KISSING 

WHAT A NICE DAY ON THE PLL SET 

she put out her fancy bra

EMIUSON SEXXX

WE ARE BLESSED CHILDREN 

AND WEDDING 

OH MYG OD 

JNJHVSDBHFUG

SPOBY MY KIDS 

SLJKDFRT;YGOI

THIS IS THE BEST 

MOMSSS 

HAPPY ALISON IS THE BEST ALISON BITCH 

THEY ARE GETTING MARRIED 

THEY ARE IN LOVE 

*KISSES PALM* 

oh my god leg rubbign ezria 

you know it;s ezria from the leg rubbing 

marrie dbbys 

i’m dead 

“I DO” 

I’M CRYING 

WHY AM I CRYING 

THEY ARE SOULMATES MY KIDS 

guten morgen i fucked with toby 

they fucked 

they are married 

aria is still fucking 

OR SHE TURNED HERSELF IN YA KNOW 

after sex glow on emison

 fucking potatos 

I get so much anxiety 

“FUCK  YOU” 

okay that was agressive 

i don’t know where that came from

FIANCE AND HUSBAND TO THE RESCUE 

AND ARIA WILL TURN HERSELF IN TOTALLY 

I’m just gonna kill myself 

or turn herself in 

Aria is so self-destructive it’s me 

yeah time is up stupid bitch 

you los

what 

oh that’s her prize

wtf what the fuck a.d 

will she do anything 

we still have mrs mona 

who can still do a change

yeah but i want toby too 

the game is over 

is mona dead? 

i don’t think so cause she is in the finale 

is someone there? 

why is her car not 

what 

it;s a motorcycle? oh she has the body 

OH FUCK 

YEAH WELL AT LEAST A.D DID HER PART 

OH WELL THERE IS NOT A EAD BODY HERE 

NOPE NO DEAD PEOPLE HERE He could have used the money from the Mona is so

MONA 

OH FUCK 

FUCK FUCK FUCK 

SHE HAS HER GLASSES AND HER CRAZY LOOK ON FUCK 

Is this some weird rip-off of TVD with the original villain being the endgame villain?

I Thought You Were Different (Part 20/?) (Banner/Stark/Rogers x reader)

Part 19

OMG WE HIT 20

Bruce’s hands nervously twitched and his intertwined fingers moved relentlessly, fighting the urge to remove and replace his glasses again as he had done at least ten times already.  He had been staring out the window for several minutes with no sound other than the quiet rhythm of his breathing, now calm again after the last round of questions asked had him feeling particularly emotional.

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someone asked for my favorite episodes lmao

italicized

means its stankyle centric (or at least in some aspect) and

bold

means it’s one of my top favorites

  • cartman gets an anal probe
  • big gay al’s big gay boat ride
  • mr hankey the christmas poo
  • the mexican staring frog of southern sri lanka 
  • spookyfish
  • prehistoric ice man
  • spontaneous combustion 
  • two guys naked in a hot tub
  • korn’s groovy pirate ghost mystery 
  • hooked on monkey fonics 
  • mr hankeys christmas classics
  • are you there god? it’s me, jesus
  • cherokee hair tampons
  • pip
  • the wacky molestation adventure 
  • a very crappy christmas
  • super best friends
  • cartmanland
  • here comes the neighborhood 
  • butters’ very own episode
  • asspen 
  • fun with veal
  • the simpsons already did it
  • bebe’s boobs destroy society
  • the death camp of tolerance
  • raisins
  • it’s christmas in canada 
  • good times with weapons
  • the jeffersons
  • preschool
  • quest for ratings 
  • stupid spoiled whore video playset 
  • woodland critter christmas 
  • the losing edge
  • two days before the day after tomorrow 
  • marjorine
  • follow that egg
  • smug alert (mainly for stan and kyle)
  • mystery of the urinal deuce
  • stanley’s cup
  • fantastic easter special
  • guitar queer-o
  • britney’s new look
  • the china problem 
  • pandemic 2
  • the ring
  • dead celebrities
  • W.T.F.
  • you have 0 friends
  • crack baby athletic association
  • you’re getting old
  • assburgers
  • the last of the meheecans
  • i should have never gone ziplining
  • going native
  • a nightmare on FaceTime 
  • the Black Friday trilogy 
  • freemium isn’t free
  • grounded vindaloop
  • the city part of town 
  • skank hunt 
Idiot (Peter Parker x Reader)

Idiot (Peter Parker x Reader), (Dad-Tony x Reader)
Prompt: “You are such an idiot!” “I know you are but what am I?”

You were in the lab in Stark tower. It’s been two weeks since Steve disappeared with what people were calling “Team Cap”. Meanwhile you were stuck here with your dad, Tony Stark, and what people were calling “Team Iron Man”. 

Yes, you love everyone on Team Iron Man, except for Spider Boy. But you just wish that you didn’t sign the Accords, the only reason you did was to keep your job as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. To be honest, the Accords sucked. You couldn’t build a robotic dog without permission. 

So here you were, making blueprints and formulas for new machines and chemicals, but not being allowed to see if they will work. Your Dad was in the other room, looking like he was putting away his welding equipment after fixing up his suit. With a sigh you leaned back in the chair you were sitting in and stared at the roof.

“What’s up, Buttercup?” Your Dad asked, taking off his helmet and gloves, setting them on your table. 

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Something with maid costumes and birthdays

Prompt: (i didnt see the come untouched part until now oops SORRY and i also eased down on the dirty talking part bc ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

Summary: Dan rides Phil with a maid costume on during his birthday. (ps this a modern day royalty au)

Genre: fluffy smut

Warning: secks!!! Swearing!!!

Words: 2, 007 words

A/N: I’m finally not sick!!! YEAH !!! ok but honesty I didn’t update for a long time I thought I was dying. So here’s the sex. (im also holding off the angst fic bc it’s taking too long fuck dammit) i may or may not write another one we’ll see

“I swear to fucking God, if I don’t get my birthday sex right now I will throw your fucking crown out of the window.”

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Oh can I have an imagine where you’re touring with ATL and you always argue with Alex. Then one night you all plan to go out partying and you and Alex are fighting over the bathroom. So the rest of the band decides to look you in the bus will they come back. Then after fighting for a while Alex slams himself against you and you have a make out session and later sex with him dirty talking to you I’d love you even more if you want to do that also maybe with different POVs

AN I’m not the best at dirty talk, but I hope this is as good as you wanted it. This is a lot more graphic than my other smut because well, you requested it. I hope you like it, it was actually a lot of fun to write. Summer starts next week, and I’m getting ready to be able to post an imagine a day. Get ready friends. There’s no conversation for this one. The gif is Alex explaining his lust for you ;D

Warning: Hardcore Smut (as hardcore as I can get tbh)

Your POV

It was my passion to work the lights in concerts. I was fascinated by the way everything moved and the colors that could come out of there. I was living the dream, working on the lights with Jeff Maker. He never really let anyone help him, but I guess I was his exception. He liked to consider me his prodigy and took me under his wing.

Usually I just hang around the backstage people, but we’d always have parties on other buses. When we did mingle with the actual band of All Time Low, we got along pretty well, with the exception of Alex Gaskarth.

Alex Gaskarth was a whiny little snot. I mean, yeah, he’s hot as fuck, but he’s annoying. I would like to talk to him if he didn’t constantly argue with everything I said. Lately I was spending a lot of time on their bus because Jack wanted me to hang out with them, but it wasn’t working out all too well.

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Drarry headcanon thing

-Draco secretly braids Harry’s hair while Harry is sleeping bc it’s so long and jesus is it soft and Draco likes to play with it

- Harry isn’t always asleep and hears Draco’s hums of satisfaction.

- Draco thinks Harry doesn’t know. Harry knows Draco doesn’t know that he knows.

- so when Harry “wakes up” he’s all like “omg how’d my hair get like this as Draco giggles in the other room

- Harry usually leaves them in and wears them to work and at first people are like ???, but then they just get used to Harry having some tiny braids mixed in with his messy hair

-one thing Harry doesn’t notice is on the back of his head the braids are tied with little pink bows.