jesus is magic

JSE community hype: A guide for newer viewers!

(This is gonna be long as fuck)

Hey, you! Did you JUST enter the JSE community? Well first off, welcome! Second of, you’re probably really confused right now.

But look no further, I’ll give you a summary so you can understand all of these theories, glitches, and bloody necks in your feed.

Antisepticeye: A Brief Story

Antisepticeye is a character that people on Tumblr, Twitter and DevianArt created as an “evil Jack”, hypothetically the opposite of Jack. Everyone has their own version of him, but he’s usually portrayed as a Jack with pointy ears, black gauges, always with a bloody knife in hand, and with his neck bleeding.

He’s basically a computer virus, that can glitch through Jack’s face-cam in his videos and “posses” everything that is on the internet, such as Jack himself, that is the “internet part” of Seán (that’s Jack’s real name btw). He “feeds” of attention, and gets stronger the more we talk about him.

On October of 2016, Anti made his first appearance glitching through the Sister Location videos, a part of the Five Nights At Freddy’s game series. He glitched though every video of that month until the last day, on Halloween, where he took full form and possessed Jack in a video called “SAY GOODBYE”. So that’s a video you should watch to start everything.

So it makes your life easier, you can also search for “All Antisepticeye’s moments” on Youtube, there’s plenty of them, watch the most recent one you can find.

Jack also made a video kinda explainig this, called “HAPPY HALLOWEEN”.

After that, Anti was supposedly gone, and with time, other “egos” were created by the community and Jack himself.

Those “egos” are characters just like Anti, that only exist on the internet.

Jackieboyman is a budget superhero, he appeared the most in a video called “JACKIEBOYMAN RETURNS| Welcome To The Game #2”.

Magic Marvin is a magician that can’t really do magic, but everything he throws on the ground apparently explodes. He was introduced in the video “The Jacksepticeye’s Power Hour - Marvin’s Magic”.

Dr. Henrik von Schneeplestein is a doctor that isn’t really qualified for the job, but tries his hardest to save his most constant patient named “Peter”. He first appeared in the video “Jacksepticeye’s Power Hour - Dr. Septiceye”, and then in a video called “TRUST ME, I’M A DOCTOR| Bio Inc Redemption #4”, but he wasn’t quite himself anymore, willing to kill every patient he had. We’ll come back to why that is later. We discovered his name is Henrik in that video as well, and that he probably wanted to be an artist when he was a kid.

Chase Brody is a guy that tries too hard to be cool, and was introduced in the video “Teabag Edition| Bro Average”. In that video we find out that his wife abandoned him and took the kids with her. In the end, Chase supposedly kills himself, but people in the community refused to accept his death, continuing to talk about him. He supposedly dies again later, in the “TRUST ME, I’M A DOCTOR| Bio Inc Redemption #4” video, where Dr.Schneeplestein kills a patient called “Chase Brody”, that later on Jack accepted as cannon to be Chase himself.

And those are all 4 egos until now (today’s date being August 1st, 2017). “Jack” is also considered an ego, because he’s the one that interacts with everything on the internet.

Remember when Anti was gone after 2016’s Halloween? Well, he came back. In a video that Jack made for the PAX East 2017 convention, called “Always Watching takeover” or something. In that video, that you can easily find searching those words on YouTube, Anti comes back and says that he never really left, he’s just always there, waiting for enough attention so he can possess Jack again.

Anti’s objectives are a mystery, no one really knows what he wants to accomplish with all of this.

After the PAX video, it all died down again. Except not. Dr.Schneeplestein started acting weird in that last video where he supposedly killed Chase, and everybody figured that Anti was taking his turn on him, possessing him, getting inside his head.

Theories say that Anti plans in corrupting all egos and the most recent Jack’s instagram picture shows the Doctor with a bloody eye, saying that he was the first one to be corrupted.

In some video tags or Tumblr posts tags, sometimes there are messages with a weird font (zalgo text). That can be Anti talking to us, or Jack asking for help, since he’s like being “held captive” since last Halloween.

Recently, there was a video of Markiplier, called “Darkiplier vs Antisepticeye”, where Anti and Mark’s evil ego, Dark, supposedly meet and want to fight against each other. That video was said not to be cannon, that meaning it wasn’t really Anti and Dark, but just Jack and Mark pretending to be them, “imposters”, a goof!

But the goofness didn’t last for very long, because the real Anti is now pissed because Jack mocked him, and that’s why he got Schneeple and is back again.

So the random words that you may see people talking about, like “home”, “return/reborn”, “imposter”, etc are all things from random tags or Jack’s Twitter bios.

And even more recently, but before Mark’s video, “Jack” made a video putting up an “art contest”, where he’s gonna show the world some of our fanart in a future video. I say “Jack” because there’s a really unsettling vibe about that video, and people figured out that the person in the video was not Jack, but Anti in disguise. He wants this art thing to happen because he knows that people are gonna draw him a lot, referencing Mark’s video, and that will give him the attention he needs to be reborn into something stronger.

In periods of hype like this, video’s titles are a very important part of theories, because they kinda give hints about what may be happening, and thumbnails as well. In his last “Escapists” video, he put a date in the thumbnail that goes back to Anti’s last appearance, and then changed it again to another date: August 3rd.

That’s probably when shit is gonna go down, and Dr.Schneeplestein will appear along with Anti, being reborn because of all the fanart and attention we gave him.

And that’s what you missed on…Everything!
I know it’s a lot to take in all on once, but once you get it, it’s really fun!

Everybody in the community works together to figure out this story arc that Jack creates, with the help of his amazing editor, Robin. So if you feel lost, or just want to freak out and theorize about video titles and green lights, there’ll always be someone to talk to you!

And I promise, we’re not mad like this all the time, I made this summary just because we’re in a period of hype, like in the middle of a story, and you just arrived in this complete chaos!

And now, you know everything that we know until now, stay tuned for the next videos and theories, and follow Jack here on Tumblr to know the stuff he likes and reblogs, that may be hints as well.

Oh, and most importantly…Have fun!

So, even when the % of atheists in USA is around 5% looks like having a religion is the tendency to be a criminal.

We will expect that if religious and atheist do good and wrong in the same average the prison population should be equal, or it’s that the atheist are smarter and don’t get caught as easy?

What do you think?

  • Me: *High pitched noise of distress*
  • Friend: Did your character do the thing?
  • Me: *hands fly around wildly while continuing inaudible noises*
  • Friend: Yeah, I know you love them, but you know they have their own decisions to make.
  • Me: *Screeches then flops head down into hands*
  • Friend: Shhhhhh *pets me* Read some fanfics about them, you'll feel better.

i just learned there is apparently a belief in some neopagan circles that st. patrick casting out the snakes from ireland, an island which has never had snakes in human history, is a metaphor for patrick converting ireland to christianity by force. the story is that patrick killed and expelled irish druids who wore snake tattoos on their arms, and this narrative later transformed into our modern version. interesting! and completely baseless, i’m afraid. the idea apparently comes from a hagiography of st. patrick that indicates patrick killed druid “wizards” with jesus magic, but none of this fits the historical record. ireland wasn’t christianized by the time of st. patrick’s death. he died in relative obscurity, in fact. the christianization of ireland, which likely was not completed until over a century after patrick’s death, was actually super peaceful compared to other places. and in the 7th and 8th centuries, by which time christianity was firmly planted in ireland, there are at least two legal texts that give druids a relatively high social ranking. all of this stands against these ideas about st. patrick as a historical villain. not to mention i can’t even find a shred of evidence for the idea that druids had snake tattoos. (and if ireland didn’t have snakes, why would they?)

game grumps ask meme.

“Dude, just… just pity laugh, at least!”
“I don’t wanna kill anybody, I’m a pacifist. Ooops, killed six people.”
“Six is the number of Def Leppard members, almost.”
“Did you know I’m a professional joke? My life is a joke.”
“Why do you enjoy watching me suffer so?”
“Remember kids, if you wanna defeat the evil power, you better fucking find the nearest sharpest sword and run as fast as you can.”
“I don’t judge you when you steal children, so I’ll thank you to show me that same courtesy.”
“Having a great time being in immeasurable pain.”
“Yes, have you ever heard of brapnel? That’s baby shrapnel.”
“Wait, mechanical bird is plane. I just realized.”
“Crazy how dead you are, I mean like, wow.”
“I didn’t have any problem at all after I died twice.”
“Such a nice man we ripped off there.”
“I’ll never put on pants.”
“Checkers would be better with badgers.”
“She’s adorable! Until she turns into a hideous undead monster creature, then ya gotta hit her with the lead pipe.”
“Stop dancing at me!”
“I have some very important masturbating to do.”
“You make me have to pee, always.”
“Whales are just Earth’s way of taking a shit.”
“I like it when Luigi’s happy. It makes me smile.”
“You know when you get high, and you start floating five feet off the ground, and gain a Spanish accent?”
“Whenever you talk about being high, it always just shows how much you’ve clearly never gotten high before.”
“Dude, what if hell was up?!”
“I will raise that chicken as if it were my own daughter… who I turned into chicken fingers.”
“‘Becky with the good hair’ sounds too much like ‘caramel corn’?”
“Even 90s rock won’t make me feel good about this!”
“This might be the drugs talking, but I love drugs.”
“That’s one boopity you shouldn’t have shmoopled.”
“Am I nude right now?”
“It’d be weird to sleep amongst your dead friends.”
“Are you here to repent for your chins?”
“Why am I not eating ice cream for every meal?”
“This taxi is bae.”
“The world is full of magic. Horrible, horrible magic.”
“Jesus is my drug.”
“I don’t know anything about memes.”
“You would say that, no matter what, me from another dimension that runs a porn ring.”
“I’m a milk-based life form.”
“I fucked a cantaloupe once.”
“Awww babe, look at us, we have our own cam girl operation.”
“Everyone who works for us gradually becomes more gay in their interactions because… we are always getting… weirdly gay with each other.”
“Shut up, ya tweezer!”
“And Half-Life 3, I don’t know anything about Half-Life 3, other than that everyone says it’s confirmed.”
“Good thing you’ve got fingers and wrists of steel, from that straight jacking.”
“I’ve learned the importance of being cuddled.”
“Hi, I’m a musician with a huge penis. Do you know where I can find guitars and Magnum condoms?”
“Baths are amazing, especially when you bring a friend.”
“Jesus, you gotta wine and dine me first. You can’t just open up with that shit.”
“We’ve broken several laws.”
“What, you wanna try diplomacy? He’s a fucking crab!”
“‘Bonfire’ is made up of two words: ‘bonf’ and ‘ire.’”
“These balls are coming at me fast and furious. It’s like that movie, ‘Speed.’”
“As I was about to say, revenge is a dish best served fuck you.”
“When someone says ‘just fuck me up’ on the internet that means have sex with me in a rough, passionate manner, correct?”
“If there’s one thing I can be totally honest about, it’s that I would happily lie to your face.”
“Just get abducted! We are your saviors, we’re flying in the sky- treat us as your new gods.”
“If I can’t be the best, I sure as hell can be the worst!”
“Water is just… air juice.”
“Uh… Doctor, could you put tits on my thumbs?”
“We hang out… we touch each other…”
“Does anyone have a paper bag I can hyperventilate into?”
“2016 is the year of the butt.”
“If I took pole-dancing, I would be worried that it would be too erotic for everybody else.”
“You make another joke like that, and I’m gonna have to beat you to death with your own shoes.”
“Whoa, look at this trapezoid-headed Funyon ring!”
“I have to take off my jacket because I’m getting hot because this sucks so bad.”
“He died as he lived: covered in mayonnaise.”
“Who wears pants anymore? So 2015.”
“What took you so long, you butt plug?!”
“Look, you tell a couple jokes as a dad and suddenly everyone’s like ‘you’re making dad jokes.’”
“Could you imagine if you unlocked outfits in real life? Like, “Congratulations you wiped your ass, here’s a new shirt.””
“As long as I live, I will never stop loving your random bursts of outrage.”
“Like I would kill a friend… without watching.”
“With your Phd and my also being here, we can solve any problem.”
“I love watching you guys suffer.”
“Man, the void of nothingness is kinda lame.”
“Sometimes you gotta take time and smell the roses. And sometimes you’re gonna be a guy jacking yourself off while you’re rubbing a girl in a video game.”
“I can’t prove that someone ISN’T a reptilian.”
“Oh my god, do we have to kill him while he’s asleep?”
“I feel dead inside, but at least I had pie.”
“This is nice. We’re all bathing in the warm glow of murder.”
“The tears are bittersweet but the pie is delicious.”
“Murder is a spectator sport.”
“Today’s been a day. A day full of tasty, tasty murder.”
“Man, I wish anime was human history.”
“99 red balloons… Something- something- German song.”
“If you wanna have sex you don’t have to make a little song about it, like just come right out and ask.”
“If only I could have sex with my own brain. That would be a mind-fuck.”
“I am not nature. I am nurture.”
“Wouldn’t it be hilarious if they died?”
“Tell me what you’re gonna do to me.”
“Taco Bell cures diabetes.”
“Rule number one of babysitting? DON’T STEP ON THE BABY!”
“Play for my amusement, child.”
“How does a ghost enter a skeleton? And I don’t mean that in a sexy way.”
“You’re locked the closet with the dildo!”
“Yeah, I’ve been drunk on pot before. What of it?”
“You are the worst son ever.”
“Shut up, this is my moment of time shine!”
“Bro, can I be honest with you guys right now? I love defiling things.”
“I wanna touch everything with my boner, including my boner!”
“When you’re married, you can announce your boners everywhere.”
“I am enjoying my pot! Take that out of context.”
“Dude, what if you were next to a supernova when it supernovaed?”
“…and she’s like COVERED in butter.”
“I do apologize for my actions, even though they were totally and completely justified.”
“What are the animals crossing, exactly?”
“I’m a firm believer in ‘if you’re going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly.’”
“And you know what? We’re tied right now, like brothers… only one brother is significantly smarter and more handsome than the other and has like 15 years more life experience.”
“Frick to the 30th power!”
“My eyebrows are slippery and slimy. I grease them.”
“This is literally just elementary hydrodynamics, I can’t believe you can’t grasp this.”
“Well look the important thing that I’m having fun and other people aren’t.”
“I would fuck everything on the screen including the animals and the bicycle.”
“How dare you know stuff about things. I’m gonna beat you up with my fists… that are made of stuff and things.”
“Spyyyder Loops™ cereal…. made with… spiders.”
“I’m a bottom kind of guy.”
“Can you see my labia in this fucking costume?”
“Just bros bein’ bros…”
“I never feel quite as alone as I do when I play Burger Time.”
“If you do this… I’m gonna be mildly impressed with you.”
“I don’t know how to be interesting, could you give me advice?”
“I’m kind of amazing at everything I do.”
“I would get a photo-realistic tattoo of your face on my inner thigh.”
“Do you think I came out the pussy drawing fucking Mozart?!”
“Follow your stupid fucking dreams.”
“Everyone does crack at some point in their lives. It’s pretty much a rite of passage.”
“I wanna know where Luigi is!”
“Nothin’ wrong with that. Get clean, get clean with the lord.”
“You’re on page 2, and I’m on page…uh, furiously concentrating on not throwing up from this Nutella situation.”
“I wish you could jump inside my skin and know what I know, and feel what I feel.”
“I’m feeling fly for a caucasian man.”
“I will actually strangle you with my bare hands and feet.”
“Don’t call me “bro” in an accusatory tone!”
“This is a good yiff right here.”
“My friends! I love killing my friends.”
“Now I am the one who is bitch.”
“He died as he lived: eating chicken McNuggets.”
“Well, thank you so much, that’s so nice of you to say, but I don’t believe you and you’re a liar.”
“I could tell by his briefly angry eyebrows that he’s someone we should be stabbing.”
“A blunt is a maridujuana.”
“If you can’t beat em, Shoot ‘em with a gun!”
“Getting kicked in the nuts is not an event, it’s a process.”
“My goal is to pee in every major body of water on earth.”
“Man, Club Penguin’s gotten weird.”
“Aw jimminey-jillakers. Gee-whiz Batman. Aw frick. Oh jeezum.”
“And you have ten thousand and seven hundred grams of mardujuana.”
“My style is old, nasty t-shirt and rapidly disintegrating pants.”
“If you ever run into me in the wild, we’ll hug it out.”
“I think the noodles are going to kill me!”
“I’m sorry, your son is an anthropomorphic cheese melt.”
“Wait, but, also shut up.”