jesus i really need more practice

Lost [Jared Kleinman x Reader]

request #70! requested by @yzamatcha

Y/N - your name

warnings: angst, bad writing lol

“Whatever, I’m out of here.” Jared snapped as he slung his backpack over his shoulder and stomped to the other side of your bedroom to leave.

“Jared-” you started.

“I’ll see you at school I guess. Just leave me alone ok? Can you do that?” He huffed after he cut you off.

You had gotten into an argument about something so minuscule; where to go tonight. You just wanted to stay inside and watch a movie or something. You hadn’t had the best day and you just wanted to be near him and relaxed. He insisted otherwise. He wanted to go out with a group of friends for a movie instead. You told him that you had a bad day and would prefer to stay in, to which he responded that you never do anything for him.

You just watched, horrified, as he slammed the door behind him.

Oh no. Oh god no. I’ve never seen him that mad. Am I a bad girlfriend? Did he finally see me the way I’ve seen myself all this time? He’s too good for me anyways. Oh please no.

your brain stared attacking you. You knew that anxiety was starting to dig its nails in you, but you just couldn’t help it. All the doubt you’ve ever had about him being too good for you, or you being a bad girlfriend to him, seemed to be true. You began to cry as you came to a realization.

He’s gone. You thought. He’s gone

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Excuse me while I panic

Request: “Excuse me while I panic” with Calum
Summary: you get stuck in an elevator

Prompts


“What do you mean your phone has no battery?” Calum exclaims, his voice taking a slightly hysteric edge.

“How is it my fault?”

You’re trying, you’re really trying to be calm and collected here, but it’s difficult when you’re stuck in an elevator in a random mall somewhere in France with an internationally acclaimed bassist who has millions of fans all over the world, a show he needs to be at in a couple of hours, and who’s also your boss. And who seems to be claustrophobic.

“Couldn’t you have charged it?”

“Calum I was literally walking down the corridor to talk to Ricardo when you dragged me away. I couldn’t possibly have known anything like this would happen. If you want to blame someone, you’re the one who doesn’t even have a phone on you!”

“I told you, I was pranked! The boys stole my phone away, that’s the entire reason you’re the one I chose to accompany me here!”

“Jesus,” you groan as you sit down on the floor.

“What are we gonna do? What about the fans? What if no one realizes we’re in here and we die alone? What if–” he rambles, eyes wide.

“Calum it’s fine,” you say in a desperate attempt to be reassuring. “You boys are practically attached to the hip, they’re gonna realize you’re gone in no time.”

“But what if they think I’m so mad I needed more time alone? What if they think the two of us disappeared together to fuck and they’re leaving us to it?”

“Wow you really do have an active imagination,” you comment, your eyebrows shooting up.

Not that you’ve never thought of Calum that way, considering his talent and his face and just–well, you know, but you’ve barely ever interacted. You just make sure his bass is in top form before he goes on stage. That’s it.

You were actually surprised he even knew your name when he enrolled you in his let’s-buy-cake-and-then-not-share-with-the-boys revenge mission.

You sigh. And look where it’s brought you.

To make matters worse, the lights flicker once and go out. Calum actually whimpers. You fidget, uncomfortable for the first time. You’ve never been one for dark places.

“If I had known embarking on a world tour with one of the main pop-rock bands ever would end up this way…” you trail off.

“Don’t say ‘end this way’, you’re only making it worse. Now I’m about 73% percent sure I’m going to die here, alone and in the dark.”

“You are so dramatic.”

“Well excuse me while I panic,” he snaps, but the effect is ruined as you’re fairly sure his voice is an entire pitch higher than usual.

You sigh, rub your forehead.

“Look, Calum, people saw us leave the hotel, it’s only a matter of time before they go looking for us, and this place is just down the street from it. Besides the shop has probably realized there’s a problem with the electricity and is repairing it as we speak. It’ll be fine.”

The unspoken ‘I hope’ stretches in the silence. You hear more than see Calum drop down to the floor next to you. He lets out a careful breath.

“Okay. It’ll be fine.”

He sounds like he’s trying to convince himself, but at least he’s not on the verge of an anxiety attack any more.

“I really, really hate being trapped in small spaces.”

A ‘no kidding’ teeters on the tip of your tongue, but maybe now isn’t the time to get sassy. Instead, you offer:

“I don’t like the dark.”

There’s a shuffle and a hand intertwines itself in yours. You let out a half-chuckle and squeeze his hand.

“How about you tell me some funny stories about your band mates? Then I can make fun of them when we get back and that can be your revenge.”

That elicits a small laugh from Calum, and you count it as a victory. And so the waiting for a rescue mission begins, and the darkness doesn’t feel as terrible when silence is replaced by a particularly horrific story about Luke’s teenage awkwardness.

Christian Witchcraft? WTF!

It’s the first time you are hearing about Christian craft and it seems so foreign to you. How can such contradictory things be part of a worship, you ask. How can you be a God-fearing Christian and a witch?

What is witchcraft?

Witchcraft is a practice that can include shaping energy and interacting with the spiritual world. No witch uses witchcraft in exactly the same way. Some use it for healing, some for divination, some for cursing, etc. Many use it to worship their deities and cultivate a relationship with them, but not all. Some are secular and do not work with deities. Some have relations with deities but do not incorporate them into their craft. A witch’s spirituality is not intrinsically tied to their craft. Alternatively, witchcraft is not a religion, but a practice. It can be an expression of a religion, but it is by nature non-religious.

What does the Bible say about Witchcraft?

Please read this post by phoenyxangel.

calyhex also did a lovely series (part 1, part 2, part 3)

My own analysis on a few verses:

I am a green witch. That means I use creation, particularly plants, in order to perform my spells. Green witches use the energy stored within creation in order to create effects.

We know God has invested power in creation because of the story of Cain and Abel. It is the ground that seems to convict Cain for his crimes. Before Cain killed his brother, the ground gave him strength.

And the Lord said, “What have you done? Listen; your brother’s blood is crying out to me from the ground! And now you are cursed from the ground, which has opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand. When you till the ground, it will no longer yield to you its strength; you will be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth.”

-Gen 4:10-12

Consider also that if humans do not worship God creation must cry out to Him.

But he answered them, “I tell you that if they keep quiet, the stones will shout!”

-Luke 19:40

The power is there. Is it wrong to learn to use it? On the contrary, I find it to be an interesting way to study God. By knowing His creation, I come to know Him better.

Also note that when Jesus was confronted with magick (albeit, religious magick) he did nothing to condemn it. In the story of the healing at the pool Jesus heals a man who is waiting at a magick pool. Whenever the water was stirred it was supposed to be because an angel came and touched it. Whoever jumped into the pool first was supposed to be healed. (I’m assuming it worked, at least in part, for all of these people to be waiting so eagerly for their chance to jump in. The man in question had waited there for a long time and had missed many chances because he couldn’t move.)

Now in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate there is a pool, called in Hebrew Beth-zatha, which has five porticoes. In these lay many invalids—blind, lame, and paralyzed, waiting for the stirring of the water; for an angel of the Lord went down at certain seasons into the pool, and stirred up the water; whoever stepped in first after the stirring of the water was made well from whatever disease that person had.

-John 5:2-4

If Jesus didn’t have an issue, then maybe we shouldn’t. I think Christian witches need to be judicious in what they practice. I think baneful magick is iffy at best. Jesus wasn’t baneful, so neither should we be. That being said, bindings and curses do not have to be baneful.

You can read more about my personal path on my FAQ. You can find book suggestions on my Books and Resources page.

What about Christopaganism?

That really isn’t my area of expertise. The Bible is clear that there are other spiritual forces in the world and God Himself refers to them as gods!

For that night, I will pass through the land of Egypt and kill all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, both men and animals; and I will execute judgment against all the gods of Egypt; I am Adonai.

-Exodus 12:12

Do they exist? Yes! Should you have a relation with them and how should you go about balancing your time spent with each deity? You would have to ask a Christopagan yourself.

It’s important to note that not all Christopagans are witches. Not all Christopagans work with other pantheons either, some preferring to work within the Abrahamic faith. Please do not assume anything and approach them respectfully.

Try:

  1. norvicensiandoran
  2. thespringpagan
  3. thepaganstudygrouppage
  4. thechristopaganmystic

Also: christopagan tag.

Should I be a Christian witch?

I don’t know, because I do not know your relationship with God or the core motivations you have for pursuing craft. Being a Christian witch is about using craft to express your relationship with God. It is to help you draw closer to Him by experiencing Him through magick. It can also cause you to be an asset to other Christians and to this world. You can work magick for those in need.

You can be a Christian and a witch without being a Christian witch as well. You would simply be a practitioner who does not incorporate God into your magick. If you do work with other deities, it will be important that you keep a strict balance and healthy understanding of who these forces are to you in your magick. It will be a difficult road to navigate f you are trusting other forces for your power yet truly putting your faith in God, and perhaps impossible for you without falling into temptation.

Healthy Christian Craft is an article I wrote explaining some common ways in which craft can become unhealthy for a Christian. Remember, this path has as many temptations as any other, but the Christian community offers much less support than with other forms of worship. You will have to constantly be realigning your will with God’s will so that you will not fall into sin. You may also want to follow my meditations and work through them in order to come to a conclusion. This is a decision that takes a lot of reflection and soul searching. Christian witchcraft should not be approached lightly.

Hilltop Heroine (Jesus x Reader)

“Rick I’m not staying.” You state with sass. “(y/n), you’re one of the best fighters we got. Plus you’re trustworthy, we can use you to get these people to trust us ‘cause we all know I’m making one hell of a first impression.” Rick responds. You look at him and really take in his appearance. Blood all over his face, dirty, wrinkly clothes and he is covered in sweat. You can only imagine what you look like, probably dirty, and sweaty, but you aren’t covered in blood and you aren’t as dirty and other than pulling your knives when threatened earlier, you have done nothing to make these people hate you. “Fine.” you pause “On one condition.” you finish. “What?” Rick sighs. “I need a gun.” You answer. “(y/n), we need all the fire power we can get! No.” Rick responds a little childishly. “What if something happens here? All I have is knives, 6 to be exact. There not that long or sharp. Just one little gun, 5 rounds. That’s all I’d ever need.” You rush out. Rick reluctantly hands over a little hand gun that you slide in your waist band. “We’ll be back.” Abraham says as he walks over to hug you. “Be careful!” you say loudly as everyone comes up to give you a hug. “Don’t worry.” Maggie says calmly “Yeah we always come back.” Glenn chimes in. Michonne doesn’t say anything when she hugs you, and neither does Rick they just walk up and hug you for a long moment. “We’ll be back in a day or more” Daryl tells you. “Yeah. And it better be all of you!” You say with a superior tone. “You be careful too, (y/n)” Rick says walking towards the RV. “Don’t worry about (y/n), I’ll keep an eye on her.” ‘Jesus’ says throwing his arm over your shoulder. You look up at his face and see him smiling down at you, you quickly look down and blush. You wave as the RV drives away with all your friends, heading to fight a new enemy. You were always very shy when it came to new people, hell! It took you 4 months to warm up to the people at Alexandria! Now here you are supposed to protect these people and you can’t even talk to them. “They’ll be okay” Jesus says rubbing your back.You tense, the sensation is strange to you and you back away. “”where’s my room.. again..?” You ask very quietly. “What?” Jesus laughs. This only makes your face turn red. “My room.. where was it again.?” you repeat not much louder. “Oh- about that, Uhm we don’t have any spare rooms at the moment so you’re gonna have to bunk with me. I hope that’s ok.” Jesus answers leading you towards the town hall. You didn’t answer, instead you slowly followed Jesus. As you looked around the Hilltop, everyone was watching you and whispering,”No wonder that man left her here, she can barely walk without falling.” “She couldn’t hurt a fly.” “She’s weak.” All these things the people were saying was making it harder for you to concentrate, you couldn’t risk doing anything stupid so you forced yourself to walk faster to catch up to Jesus and find your new room. “Here we are!” Jesus states opening a door and throwing his arms out. You look around in awe as you take it in. The room was huge! The bed was huge, the windows were huge, and the bathroom had a claw foot tub! The room was spectacular. “wow..” you whisper. You hear Jesus laugh so you turn to face him. “How is it that you can go from being so badass and social to shy and weak so fast. That’s such a dramatic change in character.” Jesus asks, cocking his head to the side. you sigh “Well, I’ve always been shy, I just don’t know anyone here -” “You know me.” Jesus interrupts. “Not that well. I’ve been with the Alexandrian’s for awhile, I know them, we’ve saved each other. But here, I’m new and no one trusts me.. I’m not good at starting over.” You say staring at the bath tub. Jesus decides to let the conversation drop. “It’s a nice tub, isn’t it?” He says, you nod in response. “You know, I think we have some bubbles, you could take a bubble bath.” You look at Jesus with a smirk. “I don’t think that would be a good idea.” you say. “And why not?” Jesus asks. “Well I can’t protect you if I’m covered in bubbles.” You retort, some how you were suddenly comfortable with Jesus. You take a step towards him, “Besides, I’d need some company in there.” You purr seductively as you walked towards the windows. You hear Jesus walk up behind you as he whispers “Not so shy now are you.” in your ear. You smirk in response. Night falls rather fast and you can’t help but start to worry about your family. “Ready for bed?” Jesus asks. “I think I’m gonna stay up for a while.” You answer as you turn your head to look at the man. “Oh! Sorry I didn’t know you were changing.. I-I.. sorry!” You rush as you cover your face and look away from the man in nothing but boxers. “This is what I sleep in.. Does it make you uncomfortable?” He asks walking towards you. “No I-I.. It just doesn’t seem very practical, that’s all.” You answer, not looking at Jesus. “Haha - yeah, but it’s more practical than what Michonne and Rick wear to bed.” Jesus laughs, you look at him confused for a moment before it clicks. He walked in on Michonne and Rick after their hook up. “I saw too much of that man..Jesus trails off. “But. If you’re staying up, then I will too.” He states, sitting next to you. “You don’t have too, really I’m ok.” You try telling him, putting your had on his chest. “I’m not letting you sit here all night alone, besides didn’t you say you needed company?” Jesus smirks. “I guess” You say, leaning in to his warm body. As the night drags on you look out the window, and think about Rick and everyone, what’s happening, are they ok, what if.. You shake the thoughts from your head and decide to surprise Jesus with a cold hand on a warm thigh. You place your practically ice cold hand on his inner thigh, he was as surprised as you thought he’d be. “Oh my goodness. What the hell was that for!?” Jesus asks balling up. “oh come on, they’re not that cold!” You say. “Yes. They are!” Jesus whines. You lose it and start laughing, and hard too. “You think it;s funny??” Jesus asks, with a pout. You nod in response since you’re laughing too hard to form coherent words. Jesus then decides to pick you up and throw you on the bed. “Wha-” is all you get out before he starts tickling you. “Hahaha. No stop! Ha” you giggle as he tickles your sides. Jesus finally stops the tickle torture and looks down at you. He’s supporting himself up on his arms above you. He lowers himself, so hes supported by his elbows. You bring your arms over your chest, as you stare into his brilliant blue eyes. You look away from him as you try to remember the last time you laughed. “What?”Jesus asks. “I haven’t laughed that hard since - since” your voice catches as you remember the day this all started.”Since.. this all started, since I lost my family. Since I’ve been on my own.” You admit as a tear falls down your cheek.  “Shhhh..” Jesus soothes as he pulls you into him and under the covers. “I’m sorry..” You say as you snuggle closer to Jesus. “I didn’t think anyone could make me feel the way you make me feel, (y/n).” Jesus says rubbing your back and this time it doesn’t feel strange, this time it feels good, it makes you feel safe. “Get some sleep.” Jesus says as he continues to rub your back as you drift off into a love filled dream.

Unisex names, Crazy Exes, and other Gas-n-Sip Adventures

based on the “You’re a store clerk and oh shit I just spotted my ex please let me hide behind your desk-thing” prompt from this post

The check out guy at the gas-n-sip is really fucking cute. Like please-sit-in-my-lap attractive, and Dean can’t really focus on buying that six pack right about now, cus seriously he didn’t know that shade of blue even existed.

Dean is this close to asking for blue eye’s number when Aaron turns around the corner of the closest aisle and every alarm bell in Dean’s brain goes hay-wire screaming “CODE RED! CODE RED!

“Shit shit shit” Without even thinking about it Dean jumps over the cashier counter and ducks out of sight.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

What is your view on swearing as a Christian?

Everything below is meant out of love, is from a Christian perspective, and is my own personal decision as a believer.

I’m gonna build an outline for ya. :) A few points, as I believe everything needs a balanced perspective. Things are not usually one thing or another, but are something we need to be personally convicted on and something we really need to pray about. Extreme anything can be a bad thing. :)

1. There is nothing overly apparent in the Bible that says we shouldn’t swear…..or say the “s” word for instance.

Some points supporting this:

     a. Some Christians will also make the point that Paul used equivalents to this ‘s’ word.

     b. Words change meaning with time….so really….words are words. The intent of the word is what matters.

     c. Using the Lord’s name in vain does not essentially mean “don’t say bad words.” It means that we should not use God’s name lightly and a whole lot more interesting and important things we don’t need to delve into here.

So swearing is really not the point and a lot of Christians don’t even think it is a big deal. Heart intent is always what matters.

BUT….with that said:

2. I believe everything we do points to Jesus, so I choose not to swear and I think it is a good practice as a Christian leader to refrain from swearing.

Why?

        a. Swear words have the connotation of coarseness. The Bible does point out that we should keep course talk out of our mouths. So even in regards to anything, we should make sure we speak with love and gentleness and keep coarseness out of our verbiage and behavior.

        b. I have found that I am much more respected in all spheres of life when I keep my language clean.

        c. The fact that I do not swear has caused a lot of people to notice and ask me why. Perfect opportunity for me to share why and point them back to Jesus.

        d. Swearing is usually something done from negativity and harsh emotions. I would rather stay away from that.

         e. Be above reproach. Since many Christians feel it is wrong to swear, just avoid arguments and be nice in the words you say to avoid putting a stumbling block in their way.

3. Along with the above, I think we sometimes give swearing a bad rap…. and sometimes neglect watching if we gossip, talk in a perverse way, use harsh words, and talk with negativity. It is my goal to not just “not swear” but to have language that builds others up, that brings hope, that respects people, that shows love, and that makes people wonder why I am so happy……so I can just further point back to my savior. 

If you believe differently, cool. If you think swearing is fine, that is ok with me. This is just my personal decision. The point is always Jesus’ grace and his adoration for us. All this is from a Christian’s perspective, so it is not meant to offend or cause an argument of any kind. :) 

i was thinking, wouldn’t it be Really messed up and hilarious if when armin shot that woman to save jean, she actually didn’t die and was all like 

MP Woman: “FUCK! You just shot me in the fucking face, coconut head!!!!”

Armin: “Oh god! Oh god! I’m so sorry ma'am!!! I thought you would die!?!”

Jean: “I’ll take care of this.”

Armin: “Jean, NO!”

MP Woman: “Ah fuck!!! Horse-face just shot my arm! How could you miss when I’m RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU??!!!”

Jean: “Oh wow, I really need to practice more shooting…”

Mikasa: “(SIGH) Stand back, amateurs. SLASH!

MP Woman: “Jesus Christ!! That bitch just sliced my other arm diagonally!!”

Mikasa: “Dammit, I keep hesitating. Just like that time with bert and reiner. Huh, I wonder how those two are doing.”

Armin: “Well, you can’t blame yourself, mikasa. We’re All stressed too.”

MP Woman: : “Will you brats stop ignoring me and KILL ME ALREADY??!?!?!”

Sasha & Connie: “We got this!”

Everyone Else: “NOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

Armin: “Why the fuck did you guys stab both her legs with a knife??”

Sasha: “Trust Us! She’ll die slowly while bleeding out *winks*”

Connie: “It’s the best form of torture cuz thats what we Scouts are About!”

Armin, Mikasa, Jean: “WE’RE NOT TRYING TO TORTURE HER!!!”

Sasha & Connie: “Oh……….awkward……”

MP Woman: “God! Just give me that gun!! BANG

……….

Armin: ”Huh. Guess I won’t have a mental breakdown now that she killed herself.“

Mikasa: "Meh. I didn’t really see the big deal Or care." 

Sasha & Connie: ”‘twas beauty that killed the beast.“

Jean: "Both of you, Shut the Fuck Up!!!!”

Levi: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU BRATS DOING BACK THERE?!?!?!?!