FIRE? 😂 The only fire I need 🔥😤 is Charizard's flames of determination 🐉💯 the adventure ⚡🌲️ don't stop ✖️ Work everyday 💪🏻💦 to beat that POKEMON LEAGUE ✨🏆 I wanna be the very best 🙏🏻🏅💯 Arceus 4:93
if you’re struggling for AU ideas take a look-see at this list i wrote for my friend who dubbed it “better than the 10 commandments"
1) Coffee shop AU
Barista and person who has a ridiculous coffee
I’m worried about your coffee dependency
you accidentally poured boiling hot coffee over
me so you’re responsible for taking me to A&E
you give me a different fake name every time you
come into starbucks and I just want to know your real name bc ur cute but here
I am scrawling “batman” onto your stupid cappuccino
Flower shop AU
You buy a weird amount of flowers and I’m
concerned as to why
I’m allergic to flowers but I work in a flower
shop – you’re a customer who’s very confused as to why I’d do that
(this is also a good way to incorporate flower
meanings eg, buying certain colours/types for person to represent feelings etc.)
You’re overdue on this book and I want it so I’m
tracking u the fuck down
I work in the library and I’m a little concerned
for your health bc you never stop studying
The library’s pretty empty save for you and me
and OH that couple making out loudly in the shelves somewhere
Awful first time meeting
I accidentally punched you in the face when I
was too overexcited about something
I thought you were my friend who’s just done
something awful to me (read: cut my hair while I slept, dyed all of my clothes
pink, etc. etc.) because you look similar from behind so I stormed up to you
and shoved you from behind while calling you an asshole
You get the gist to this one
Oooh when you told me your name I thought you
were joking because it’s fucking awful and I made a joke about it and things
got awkward real fucking fast (perfect for a Hannibal au just saying)
Weird places to meet/awkward meetings in general
We live in the same block of flats but haven’t
ever talked and Sunday morning we were both doing the walk of shame and had to
stand in the lift together
“okay I know that being in the woods at 2am is a
weird thing to be doing but my friend called me and- wait, why are you in the woods at 2am, fuck I’m going
to die aren’t I?”
A personal favourite of mine – first day at a
new job and oh fuck my boss is the person I drunkenly hooked up with last
We keep accidentally running into each other I’m
not a stalker I swear
You live across from me in our apartments and we
smile when we see each other but we don’t really know each other and oh you’re
the stripper at my friend’s stag do/hen night fuck this is really uncomfortable
“My shower’s broken but I’ve got a date tonight
could I possibly use your shower please?” “Oh sure (neighbour that I’ve been crushing on for the past six months) of course you can use my shower to get ready for your date (fuck fuck fuck)”
Friends to romance – pining and all that
You’ve got a date tonight and you asked for
advice on what to wear but I’m so in love with you and damn you look good in the outfit I picked out for you
I really like you but you’re my best friend’s ex
You’ve liked me for ages and were really obvious
about it and I didn’t like all the attention but now you’re over me I really
miss it and fuck I think I like you too?
Somewhere along the way of getting into bar
fights together, staying up all night with movie marathons, other friendship
things, I’ve fallen in love with you but oh my god this could ruin EVERYTHING
Friends with benefits oh wait I like you
FAKE DATING HOLY SHIT I LIVE FOR THIS
It’s my highschool reunion and I need a hot date
so I can rub it in the faces of the people who hated me
My homophobic parents are coming to visit will
you pretend to date me as an extra “fuck you”?
There’s a person who won’t stop bugging me will
you pretend to be my partner so that they’ll fuck off?
I told my sister I have a boyfriend so she’d
stop trying to set me up with people but now she’s coming to visit and I’m in
too deep I need a fake boyf ASAP
The first words your true love(s) will say to
you are tattooed on you and why the fuck are their first words something really
ridiculous like ‘I’ll pay you a tenner to punch me in the face’ or ‘quick
what’s your favourite animal’ or ‘fucking shit hell holy fuck wow oh my god
jesus h Christ fuck me’ etc. or even worse a really ridiculous song lyric like the opening lines of uptown funk or a high
school musical song or smthing did you have to serenade me the first time you
saw me asshole?
You get an ‘impression’ of your soulmate when
you turn 18 or something but all I got was a strong smell of bananas or an
overwhelming feeling that Thatcher was a good prime minister or an image in my
mind of a fucking unicorn
The more ridiculous the better actually
Something like whenever your soulmate sings a
duet you can’t help but join in and my fucking soulmate is in a goddamn band
but I can’t sing for shit
Or maybe something like soulmates always sneeze
at the same time and I cant be sure but me and this kid in my French class just
sneezed at the same time are we soulmates or was it a coincidence (proceed w
character trying to make themselves sneeze around said person to see what’s
Alternate universes for real
Siren and asexual pirate who doesn’t understand
why all his crew are losing their shit that person has a nice voice sure but
what the fuck is happening
We live in a world where the greek gods are real
and you went and got yourself cursed and now I have to go on a fucking quest to
sort this shit out why do I love you again?
Pacific rim au (either they’re drift compatible
or one of them is a ranger and the other stresses constantly bc what if they
die yes I have read a fic like this no I didn’t come up with this one but it’s
fucking good) (also if you haven’t seen that film go watch it now)
Literally any movie or book universe you like
tbh just go for it
Other aus that I like
I wanted to go on the ferris wheel but there has
to be two people to a cart come on random person let’s go oh wait are we stuck
at the top? Fuck
We work in the same office and you have a
goddamn squeaky chair and you wONT FUCKING STOP SQUEAKING IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW
IT ANNOYS ME
Our mutual friend set us up on a blind date and
I thought I’d hate it but you’re actually… kind of funny? But because I expected to hate it in no way am I going to let you change my mind just because you’re gorgeous and funny and intelligent oh no my friend is not winning this
It started to snow and I’m the only one of our
friends who would go outside with you – I soon found out why none of the others
would go out in the snow with you (this works best if they’re new friends who
don’t know each other all that well) when you shoved a handful of snow down my
back and declared snow war
It’s nowhere near Christmas it’s literally still
November would you calm down about Christmas wait no why are you getting the
tree out no stop please stop (if you do this pre-relationship you can have the
grouchy one secretly finding the other’s excitement endearing and falling in
love with them actually that works for established relationship too)
Current partner got a new job in America (or
other country far away) and we’re getting by on skype calls and emails but it’s
not easy and then I met someone new (can be poly or can be finding the OTP person)
You want us both to get in shape and I hate
working out/running but your ass looks really good in shorts oh the things I do
for my friends and their nice asses
on from 10.vii. you’ve caught me checking you out in what I thought was a
subtle way too many times and now you’re calling me out on it what do I do???
You’re an actor/other famous person that I
really admire and I just saw you in the street and as I was debating whether or
not to say hi you came up to me and
started flirting what do I do??
You were waving at your friend behind me but I
got confused and waved back at you and now I’m dying of embarrassment but you
think it’s cute
I sat down in the wrong class and I’m panicking
but don’t want to get up and leave because the class has started and you think
it’s hilarious and shut up you dumb fuck you don’t know me aahhh
I’m a waiter at this wedding and you’re a drunk
guest who will not stop hitting on me please I’m trying to work no I can’t
dance with you omg let me find you some water
best friends are that awful ‘cute’ couple that make-out in public and call each
other “sweetie” and “sugar” and “babe” and god they’re awful let’s talk about
how awful they are – develops into “shit we’re the awful couple now”
pissed me off in class so I threw a book at your head and now I’m in detention
and jesus fuck I hate you so much and the teacher made me apologise and wait
you’re cuter up close and the way you talk is kind of nice actually oh fuck no
Okay I could go on forever but this is over 1,500 words of
auing already I have too many ideas christ
↳ first appearance (in the chat) ↳ is this how you do it?? is this right? ↳ wow the emoticons are awesome ↳ why do you hate going to school!!! new semestar new start!! everyone cheer up ↳ I’m eating so well so there is a problem ↳ ye~~hello!! i’m hobi (english) ↳ I love you too (Japanese) ↳ now I’m in the middle of brushing my teeth !! chikachika
The first time he sees you in lingerie - Male Avengers Headcanon
This wasn’t requested but idc, @scarlettsoldier and I were talking about plus size models lmao
He’d be so taken aback, but in the good way. He’d look you up and down, drinking you in. He’d bite his lip as he would make his way over to you, absolutely lost in the scraps of lace and bare skin, then he’d look into your eyes before mumbling that you’re so beautiful, before kissing you so passionately with his fingers tangled in your hair. “You’re gonna kill me, darlin’”
Steve would be so flustered, having never seen a woman in lingerie in the flesh. He would be rooted to to the spot once he walked into your shared bedroom. His facial expression would make you nervous, “Steve…Do- Do you like it?” “Oh G-God yes I do, doll, you look marvelous” It would be you that’d have to make the first move, you would take his large hands in yours and place them on your silk covered hips. He felt like a virgin again, but Jesus H. Christ, he was going to try and not ruin those skimpy piece of fabric the moment he got a hold on himself.
You’d be looking in the vanity mirror in your bedroom, catching a glance of the handsome man at the door in the reflection before smirking at him. You’d bought the undergarments as his birthday present. You blushed as his slender fingers made their way along your shoulders to move your hair out of the way. He would press kisses to your neck and mumble “happy birthday to me” whilst smiling as his hands wandered…
You’d walk into his lab wearing a black trench coat over the top, of course. His head didn’t turn until he heard your voice say “FRIDAY, lock the doors please.” He’d cock a brow up at your dolled up form, his eyes would travel down your legs and then his brows would raise when he saw them bare, his jaw would fall slack but would quickly pick back with a sly smirk. As you would unbutton the trench coat, letting it slide to the floor (whilst keeping eye contact and also biting your lip) you’d hear the words “Oh, my beautiful baby girl, come to daddy…”
You had definitely remembered to pack your black corset number in your bag before Thor took you to Asgard for the first time. You wanted this trip to be memorable as possible. When he first sees you in it, you’re both in his bedchamber, you’re coming out of the en suite bathroom and his mighty facade drops completely and he chokes on his mead, he’s completely awestruck, for he had never seen such undergarments, ever. He would gently pull you between his open legs, trailing his large hands across the rigid bones of the black corset, to the silk panties below, all the way down to the lace tops of your stockings. “Do you like it, my love?” “I love it, My Queen.”
Loki: (slightly AU)
Loki had been down the past couple of weeks, trying to adjust to being an avenger and the people around him. You wanted to cheer him up with something new, you knew behind his hard facade there was a troubled man. So you rummaged through your drawers and found the one thing you needed, the unused white lace panties and bra. You hastily slipped them on before throwing a t-shirt and shorts on over the top, before calling Loki through FRIDAY. As he opened the door to your room, he would give you a small smile before laying down next to you. “I have a present for you, darling” you would say, “and what would that be, my love?” “me, now I want you to take me out of my packaging” As he would peel your shirt up, his eyes would widen at the unusual underwear you were wearing, his hands would come to cup your breasts but at the same time, admire the fine lacework, he would let out a soft groan as he saw your panties..
Oh god, the GIF says it all. He’d be quietly reading in his room, when you’d just saunter in casually in your pyjamas. You both usually slept in underwear, or naked *wink wink*, so as you padded towards the bed, you began to remove your clothing, as Bruce caught a glimpse of purple from beneath his lashes, he looked at you like so, and put his book down. He would murmur ‘oh god, oh god, oh god’ under his breath as you crawled your way towards him, straddling him. You would grab his hands and place them just below your breasts where the purple lace finished, urging him into touching you. His touches would be delicate and curious at first, “You like it, Bruce?” “Uh- Uh yes, baby it’s beautiful, but not as much as you” he would proceed to grasp your hip tighter as his other hand brought your chest down flush onto his, he would moan heavily into your kiss at the feeling of the lace scratching against his skin
As soon as he would see you, his mouth would go completely dry, and if you were in a cartoon his eyes would pop out of his head. He’d mumble, “Oh fuck, YES!” before making grabby hands at you, begging you to come and sit on his lap (I mean seriously, look at them thighs!) He’d become bold and immediately kiss your breasts over the velvet fabric as his hands would ping the elastic of your stockings. He’d tell you how sexy you’d look on top of him in such attire whilst his hand would come to softly grasp your throat…
You would be getting ready for a party- you didn’t intend for him to see you in your lacy undergarments until after the party! It was supposed to be a surprise! But as Pietro would come through your door he would make said face, giving you a once over, (ogling at your behind, obviously) whilst having a devilish grin on his face whilst saying “Ah, princezná, all for me?”making you whip around in shock.
Now the terrible, stupid thing that Cosmo has done here is they asked guys to submit them on twitter. So these are straight up submissions.
Before we start, can I say that the thing that turns me on most in this world is exploring the secrets of the vagina? The seventeen dark secrets.
Some of my favorites on this list - Number two is, "That early in the morning or tired at night phone voice." Which translates to me of like, 'Can we please just go to bed? Why are you up so early?' Number three, "Girls who swim."
'She's moist all the time, she smells like chlorine. I love it.'
Number eight, all caps, "PAYING FOR YOUR OWN DINNER."
'Mm, got a major boner. She pulls out that visa and this boner just jumps right off.'
'You should see when the guy at Chili's is like, is this together or separate? And she's like, together, but he's with me.'
"If you can spin around while you're riding it." Wheeee!
'It' being your office chair, right? And not your penis because that's not possible.
Number twelve, "A chick that will play PS3 with me."
'While sitting on it and spinning.'
Number seventeen, "Good credit."
Fuckin' stop it.
'Listen baby, uh, we had a special night and you know I'm tryna crush some, gotta see if you can sit and spin, but first I gotta get on freecreditreport.com and just like find out what you're workin' with. Is it in the 500s?'
'Do you have a PDF you could forward to me?'