Best things from the Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson bootleg:
THE LESBIAN AND DISABLED NARRATOR.
The random people who keep on dropping dead because of arrows.
THE DISCO MUSIC INTRODUCING CALHOUN, MONROE, BUREN AND CLAY LIKE THEY ARE ON A CAT WALK.
“THIS MAN IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE GREATEST LAND GRAB IN AMERICAN HISTORY–he makes Jefferson look like a pussy! I can’t imagine what he’s making ME look like in the process!” - Monroe
“SHUT UP VAN BUREN” Monroe says as he slams his hands on the table.
Calhoun saying “we need to get to the bottom of this” and Buren jumping up and shouting “BOTTOMS! YEAH” (Buren is like a sassy gay okay)
“JESUS CHRIST VAN BUREN, now why do you always need to be such a MOTHER FUCKER??” - Monroe
“Tell Martha to keep the bed warm for me while you’re out blowing guys!” Jackson says he told George Washington.
Jackson acting like an emo brat and throwing temper tantrums when he doesn’t get his way.
John Quincy Adams being a vain fuck
The whole Jackson talking to Native American tribe leaders and promising them things that they are never going to get and swindling them out of their land because fuck that guy.
Buren dropping his cake on Adams and hits Adams as he grabs it back and Adams starts liking the cinnamon off of his leg with his finger
“And the Spanish?” “FUCK THE BRITISH” “and the Spanish?” “The British are assholes!”
“What’s with the baby?” [Jackson is holding Lyncoya] “NO REASON”
“The era of good feelings??? More like the area of… well BAD FEELINGS.”
Hickory doesn’t just pertain to the length and girth of his penis
Jackson saying he was gonna shove a big long thing of populism right up James Monroe’s ass
Henry Clay’s weasel
THE JACKSON CROWD LAP DANCE
Jackson pulls up a chair and starts talking about his problems and then all the northerners pull up and chair and NOBODY can hear a thing they are saying because everyone is talking at the same time.
THE ENTIRE ROCK STAR SONG
Election of 1828 and they are accusing Jackson of all these random things: “THAT YOUR MOTHER WAS A PROSTITUTE” “It’s how she met my dad!” “THAT YOU FATHER WAS HALF BLACK” “I dunno he looked pretty white to me”
“EAT A DICK YOU WEASEL WEARING FUCK” Jackson to Clay
“It was around this time that Rachel Jackson began to die of grief” “Die of grief?” “Yeah, it’s the 19th century that’s the kind of shit that happened”
BUREN FACE PLANTING AS HE RUNS INTO THE OVAL OFFICE
Jackson getting what he deserved in the end.
Second nature, just that whole song.
Jackson: “I thought history would vidicate me…” Narrator: “You can’t shoot history in the neck.”
Calhoun: “Aren’t you supposed to be dead?” Monroe: “Yes, YES…”
Idk why but I think about Van Gogh a lot and I just feel so bad for him. One of my main reasons is because he never got to see what became of his work. He’ll never know how much people love his works, how many documentaries and books are made about him, how many of his paintings are in famous, iconic museums, how he’s considered one of the greatest artists of all time.
I know it’s weird but it just makes me a little sad.
A lot of people tried to kidnap Bruce Wayne's kid, most of them didn't expect an angry Batman or some other superhero to come and save the said Wayne kid.
“You’re making a big mistake” Tim Drake-Wayne said very calmly. “Shut up! shut the fuck up!” A man in a ski mask thrust a sawed off shot gun at Tim’s face. Tim ignored it and looked around the inside of the van they were in. There were two men in masks, one ski mask, one Richard Nixon Halloween mask in the front seats. There were no back seats and Tim was sitting on the floor his hands and feet tied with packing tape. Damian was sitting next to him, seething, they’d put tape over his mouth.
“So what’s the plan guys?” Tim asked conversationally. Tim and Damian had slipped out of a Wayne Tech event to argue. They’d been so busy screaming at each other they hadn’t noticed these clowns till they dropped a bag over Damian’s head. There was a protocol to being kidnapped, sure Tim or Damian could have taken them, still could take them even tied up, but if the Wayne kids busted out amazing fight skills every time questions would be asked. “I said shut the fuck up kid! I’ll put tape over your mouth just like your brother!” Ski mask all but screamed gesturing wildly with his gun. Damian made a muffled but clearly angry sound.
Tim just relaxed leaning back against the double doors at the back of the van. “Like I said, this is a big mistake”
“SHUT UP!” the man in the ski mask cuffed Tim across the face. He tasted blood, a split lip on the man’s ring. Tim had to smile though, he’d been hit harder, much harder. “Oh now you’ve gone and done it” There came a loud thump from on top of the van. “Jesus Christ” ski mask said pointing his gun at the roof. “What was that?” yelled Nixon Mask pulling out a pistol. “This is Gotham City creeps what the fuck do you think it is?” Tim said him smile savage.
Sparks flew from the roof as something started cutting it’s way inside. “Jesus fuck!” Ski mask scream and fired two blasts into the roof. As he fumbled to load more shells the roof ripped clean off leaving the top of van open to the air. Batman dropped into the middle he looked quickly at Tim and Damian. Only Tim noticed the slight twitch when he saw the blood on Tim’s face. Before ski mask could react Batman ripped the gun from his hand and then drop the butt of the weapon into the man’s face. Tim heard the crunch of bones, the man’s jaw was surely broken.
Nixon mask half got out of his seat and and started shooting. Batman crossed the space in 3 steps grabbing the man’s gun hand and twisting violently, the thug screamed as his hand broke. Another hand punch to the face shut him up. Batman glared at the driver. “Pull over”