jesus christ hot

2

Eva and Rita took their plates of curry and found a table to sit. Eva dug in, and didn’t realize the fault in her enthusiasm until she was four heaping mouthfuls in. 

Eva: “Jesus fucking christ that’s hot! Oh god. I need some water or something…it’s freakin’ burning my esophagus! I think I’m gunna be sick.”

Rita didn’t seem to be paying attention. While walking to the table, sopping paper plate in hand, it occurred to her that perhaps Francisca and Josie would come to the Spice Festival anyway, even if she didn’t bother to respond to her grandmother’s text. Since they obviously knew she was in the Spice Market, they’d probably use the excuse to scope out the area, maybe ask around about her. They’d have pictures. Oh god. If Josie was here tonight, she’d have little difficulty tracking Rita down.

Rita became increasingly anxious. She saw her mother’s face in every woman that stood just in the corner of her eye. She mistook the glow of lights for the ghostly glow she was all too familiar with. She heard familiar voices amongst the crowd. Then she thought that perhaps she ought to keep an eye for Kamden, and Jimmy too. Maybe they’d all come to chase her out of the little crevice that she carved out for herself. Her hands began to shake, her heart pounded in her chest, her breathing became erratic and dysfunctional. 

Then she saw her. In the distance, a red, unmistakeable glow cut out in the shape of abuela. She was here, and Rita needed to disappear.

please consider:

neither Lance or Keith has ever dated anyone.

  • ok ok so when Keith and Lance start dating, both of them think the other has dated 23598 other people before: 
    • Keith thinks Lance is so dang confident, like, that guy has totally dated at least twelve people; just look at the way he flirts!
    • and Lance’s inner monologue goes something like: “jesus christ Keith is so hot I’m not on his level he must have dated way hotter people than me somebody Help”
  • buT THEN the first time they kiss, both boys are thinking “wow, he really isn’t that great of a kisser?”
    • and Lance kinda says so, and Keith’s like “well sorry, I’ve never actually kissed anyone before dude”
    • “WHAT? but…but…but you’re Keith!”
    • “What’s that supposed to mean? You’re not so hot at kissing either you know”
    • “That’s because I’ve never kissed anyone either!”
    • “THE HELL?”
  • so neither of them have any experience in anything. are they supposed to lace their fingers together while holding hands or go for the Mitten Hold? when is it acceptable to start sharing a bed? is celebrating a one month anniversary too soon? what counts as PDA?
    • french kissing?? how?? even? does that work???
  • they’re actually The Worst at this
  • one morning Keith gets up and makes this big awesome breakfast in the castle’s kitchen, and when Lance finally drags himself out of bed he’s like “aw, Keith, you made me pancakes? and bacon?? you’re the best, man!”
    • Keith looks up from stuffing his face. “made you breakfast? um…I…didn’t. this is for me.”
  • one of the first times they start really making out and getting into it and shirts start coming off, Keith gets a little brave
    • “Keith, did you just kiss my nipple?
    • “NO. Yeah. Um. Did you not-I mean, was–”
    • “I just didn’t know-”
    • “-was it bad?”
    • “–that was a thing?” and Lance smiles and tips Keith’s chin up to kiss him again and smiles. “but I liked it.” 
  • Allura sees all of this Awkward Boyfriend stuff going on in full glory, and it takes all of her willpower not to sit the boys down and give them some lessons. 
    • Keith finds Allura and Shiro whispering furiously to each other in the hall one day:
    • “They need help, Shiro!”
    • “You can’t just step into their relationship. You have to let them figure–”
    • “–like little baby Glarmo’ai–”
    • “–for themselves–”
    • “–they don’t even know how to hold hands.”
    • Shiro puts his face in his hands. “oh my god I know.”

JENSEN FUCKING ACKLES HOLDING UP HIS LITTLE SIBLINGS

club penguin bans sentence starters
  • "i'm a fucking piece of pizza,"
  • "holy shit toto, we sure as fuck ain't in kansas anymore,"
  • "i ain't fucking with these christmas lights anymore,"
  • "why is the only angry one black?"
  • "get in loser, we're going sledding,"
  • "jesus fucking christ, that cookie hot as shit,"
  • "ah yes, my meth lab is ready,"
  • "i need this life vest 'cos i'm drowning in the pussy,"
  • "i could kill you right now, no one would wear you scream,"
  • "i could go back and pretend to be you,"
  • "fashion police, you're definitely under arrest,"
  • "you're tearing this family apart, ___"
  • "what do you mean you're being murdered? that's illegal, people can't do that,"
  • "i'm wanted for stealing yo girl/boy,"
  • "wanna hear a joke? your future,"
  • "i would like to order all the money,"
  • "when i see stars i think of you. because you're only beautiful from a distance,"
  • "do it for the vine,"
  • "you dress like an idiot,"
  • "girl/boy, are you because i want to take you out,"
  • "hey you forgot something. your social life,"
  • "help me hide this body in here,"
  • "did you just propose, using emojis?"
  • "do drugs they said. it will be fun they said,"
  • "it's called capitalism,"
  • "thank you for helping me commit cannibalism,"
  • "shit, we on national television,"
  • "bitch, throw one more snowball at me,"
  • "can you leave my house please?"
  • "i'm sensing you're a bit of a bitch,"
  • "can i pay you in swag?"
  • "excuse me, do you know where i can find the booty?"
  • "what the flipper?"
  • "santa isn't real,"
  • "what do penguins do in a race? they peng-win,"
  • "a milkshake ain't a goddamn pizza,"
  • "locked up because my eyebrow game was too strong,"
  • "man, look at all this fuckin' dope,"
  • "fuck it, i ain't running,"
  • "hey, do you wanna join my gang?"
  • "i'll ask my mom,"
  • "smooth as butter,"
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Holy shit look at Evan from the mirror.

Jesus he’s hot af.