jesus christ adam

What she says: I’m fine
What she means:

I’m outraged that an average bee’s lifespan is only 2 weeks. That’s 14 days. In those 14 days, the bee movie had the bees get an education for 9. 3 days of elementary school, 3 days of high school??? 3 days of college?????? The bee has already lived over half of their life. Barry should have died within the first 40 minutes of the movie since he time progressed somewhat rapidly. Also, in those 2 weeks he would have only produced half a tablespoon of honey!!!! Meaning, 4 bees died to make those teaspoons of honey you put in our tea. It’s outRAGEOUS.

hi, remember this?

  • Ransom: Let me tell you a little bit about the man of my dreams, holtsy
  • Holster: Shoot, Rans
  • Ransom: He's handsome
  • Ransom: Tall. So tall! 6'4"!
  • Holster: I'm 6-
  • Ransom: Don't interrupt me.
  • Ransom: he is so kind and friendly
  • Ransom: he's an amazing hockey player
  • Ransom: and we're both d-men
  • Holster: Rans...
  • Ransom: LET ME FINISH
  • Ransom: Even though he's not from Canada, I can let it slide
  • Ransom: because he has the cutest accent
  • Holster: Justin, I had no idea you-
  • Ransom: It's Alexei Mashkov
  • Holster: Jesus McFucking Christ

My dear Frankie Foo,

It’s your dad. I’m writing from a time, 2014, when believe it or not, I do not embarrass you. Seriously, you can’t get enough of me. When I come home from work, the moment the front door creaks open, I hear you and your brother with a cautious “…Daddy?”, and when I confirm that it is indeed me, an immediate “DADDY!!!!!” followed by the sound of a thousand horses stampeding across hardwood floors. (How do the two of you make so much noise? Do you each have nine cloven, hooved legs that immediately retract from human view when rounding corners into rooms?). Every time I see you, something very specific happens — my heart explodes. Every time. Without fail. And when you see me, you light up. Literally I think there must be fireworks behind those eyes of yours because I’m blinded by it and everything else disappears and you run over and wrap yourself around me so tight and I’m home. Did that just embarrass you? Sorry.

Here’s the thing though: I don’t think I’ll ever be able to keep my cool around you. I’m simply far too happy to know you. You choreograph dance routines for you and I. You belt out Let It Go for an audience of one: me. So, I’ve decided to just lean into it and be a generally embarrassing presence in your life. That’s right, I’ll never try to be the “cool dad” — I think we both know how much that would exacerbate whatever embarrassment was there in the first place.

So we’ll see how it goes. And when that day comes when those fireworks in your eyes fade and you cringe rather than squeal when I walk into a room, rest assured — I get it. I’ll even try to play it cool right along with you. But just know that my heart is exploding, over and over again.

P.S. Please never say “cool beans.”

“The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat." 

Dr. Aschenasy, a Hebrew scholar said: "In Hebrew, beguiled does not mean "tricked” or “deceived”, as commonly thought. Rather, the Hebrew word is a rare verb that indicates an intense experience evoking great emotional, psychological, and/or spiritual trauma. It is likely that Eve’s intense, multilevel experience, this “beguiling” by the serpent, was the catalyst that caused Eve to ponder and evaluate what her role in the Garden really was.“

Satan’s [deceptive efforts] were not enough to deceive Eve into blindly eating the fruit. What it DID do was beguile her: made her question, made her doubt, and sent her on a soul-searching journey.

2

L O V I N G S O M E O N E // The 1975

Day 7 ~ Accidental Baby Acquisition

Here we come with @pynchweek Day7, a.k.a. “I can’t believe I almost survived this year as well” XD

I wrote this shamelessly fluffy thing while on a train, and it’s unbetaed so have mercy on my typos.

Paging: @cabeswaterlovesthem, @picapicae, @actuallymollyweasley and @bollywood-and-phoenix-feather

This is a very very T-rated ficlet, just check your blood sugar levels :DDD

Partially under the cut for avoid cluttering, but you can always read it on Ao3!



A disembodied and emotionless registered female voice rattles off the loudspeakers of the plane, confirming the route and giving housekeeping announcements while the passengers take their seats.

Ronan looks out of the tiny window and watches airport stuff busying away on the asphalt. He’s not such a big fan of flying but there is no other way to go and visit Matthew to make sure he’s not getting himself killed in São Paulo, Brazil, during his very random three months stay.

He’s still thinking about the neighbourhood of Matthew’s accommodation — sensible at the first, second and tenth glance, but you might never know — when something tiny scrambled up the seat next to him.

“Hiiii!” The toddler drags out, immediately after catching his sideways glance. Dressed in a purple salopette and a light green cotton shirt, there is no way of telling if they are a boy or a girl, but they still stare at Ronan with a too-marked fascination. They can’t be more than two years old.

“Hey, maggot. Are you here on your own?” Ronan muses, winning a broad smile with short teeth.

“Yes!” The toddler squeaks.

“No, you’re not, Rachel” a voice comes from above them before Ronan can express his skepticism about a two years old alone on a plane.

Rachel giggles, all mischief, and looks up   in the aisle, where a tall, slender man is struggling to put his cabin luggage and baby bag up in cabin lock. He’s pleasantly tanned by the Brazilian sun and his dusty blonde hair match compellingly with his complexion. There is something absolutely drained in face, as if he’s running low even on the reserve gas, and yet his expression is patient and indulgent when he looks down at his kid.

Trust Ronan’s luck to deliver him an unreachable hot dad for a several hours flight.

“Sorry, she just likes being silly,” the man apologises, kind and courteous, while sitting down beside the kid.

“No problem,” Ronan replies, ready to go back looking outside where the plane is preparing for departure. Watching Hot Dad fussing over his daughter is the last thing he needs, surely.

Unfortunately, said daughter seems to have a different idea.

“Whassyuv name?” She munches over words in a rush to deliver them.

It does take Ronan a few seconds to translate it, “What, my name?” He frowns but Rachel nods at him full of expectations. He sighs, “I’m Ronan.”

“Raschel!” The kid counters, and slams a tiny chubby hand forward, as if requesting a handshake.

Ronan raises both eyebrows, because no toddler he has ever met tried anything like this, but then he snorts and grabs the tiny hand between three fingers to give it a shake. It’s incredibly soft and too smooth not to be at least a bit endearing. “Nice to meet you, Rachel,” he muses, looking up.

The men, seated and buckled on the aisle seat, is shaking his head and running two fingers along the side of his nose. “Sorry, she’s always like that. Her father is…a bit posh, let’s say. She imitates. I’m Adam, by the way.”

Ronan bats his eyes for a fraction of a second. Considering that Adam presents himself as unmistakably masculine and yet is around with a kid without being posh, his luck must have delivered him the Hot Gay Dad to rule them all, and put him just out of decency reach. Causality is really a bitch.

“It’s fine. Funny but fine,” Ronan admits with a half smile, and gets aware that Rachel is still playing with his hand when she reaches the leather bands on his wrist.

“Rachel, let’s leave Ronan a bit of space, okay?” Adam says, persuading the little girl to give up the grip and helping her to buckle up the seatbelt for departure. He moves competently and precisely, expression always approachable, and finishes up the task by tickling Rachel’s belly. Ronan really didn’t need to see this.

When Adam gives Rachel a squared book full of figures — very nicely done in quality, for a kid, but Rachel seems to treat it surprisingly well — Ronan fishes out his iPod and settles in with headphones on. This should be the end of his kid — and Hot Gay Dad — interaction for the day.

As it turns out, he is very wrong.

Keep reading

chemistry - pynch fic

Summary: Ronan comes to Adam’s apartment to study for exams with him and it…escalates.

Rated: M, for “much smut”

Word Count: 1730


Someone knocked on the door of Adam Parrish’s apartment at St. Agnes’ Church. The closer Adam moved to the door, the harder his heartbeat, the louder his blood thrummed, the wilder his pulse became.

Because Ronan Lynch was coming over.

Keep reading

The Uncorrupted Adam

I want to talk for a moment about the basis for Christians wanting to be naked and unashamed. In fact, more than any other people, Christians have the highest motivation for adopting this way of life. But let’s start back at the beginning lay a foundation in Scripture.

Genesis 1:26-27
Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”
So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

From these verses we can see that Adam and Eve were created in the image of God, and as such were fully naked. They were barriers of the image of God in their bodies. When Jesus came to save us after the fall of Adam, scripture likens him to the second Adam. Just as one man sin and brought death, The other obeyed and brought life! So now we see that Jesus Christ as the second Adam bears the image of God. This is borne out in the New Testament.

2 Corinthians 4:4
In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.

Colossians 1:15
He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation.

So if he is that image, and why do we need to be naked? It is because we are followers and disciples of Jesus and are supposed to imitate him in every way we can. He restored our relationship with the father while he was hanging naked on a cross to bear our sin and our shame. So we as disciples of Christ also obey God and are naked and unashamed before him in love. To be naked is a way of being more Christlike!

When the enemy tries to use our modern culture to impose shame and disgrace on exposure of our bodies, he is trying to cover up the image of God that he hates. To demand that people cover up their bodies to participate in his evil deeds and further his work of hiding the image of God from those around us. Romans chapter 1 even talks about how the image of God can be seen in what was created. And the pinnacle of that creation is the human body! Romans 1:18-20 “For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of people who suppress the truth by their unrighteousness, because what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world his invisible attributes - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, because they are understood through what has been made. So people are without excuse.” I know that sounds kind of extreme, but I cannot change the truth in order to make it more palatable to our sensitivities.

So be a Christ-follower and don’t be ashamed to let others see the image of God by seeing you without clothing!

Blessings,
Noah