jesus beam

Two is better than one - A long due Shelby holiday

Part of the John’s twin series. 

John Shelby’s twin - A long-due Shelby holiday

“You’ve gotta sit still kid or it’s never gonna get done” you pleaded with John’s youngest whilst you attempted to give him a haircut, constantly pulling his head back as he fidgeted.

He simply gave you a whine but all the same complied, still finding it hard whilst watching the other kids run around the field playing.

You focused on the blade carefully, swiping it up the side of his head gently, achieving the desired peaky look.

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Accidentally Overheard Dixus Oneshot Preview

The problem with being a trained hunter is that you’re always hunting.  You don’t know it, but it’s in the way you move, the way you breathe.  All natural like, you start walking softer and breathing calmer.  Truth be told, he’d always had to walk on eggshells; it was the way things were. Merle had always just barged through like a rabid coon, but he had always taken to being unseen as often as possible.

Add to that years of having to be ready for walkers at all times, and well, it was ingrained in him now.  He couldn’t force himself to make a sound as he walked if he tried.  After running like hell, with his lungs on fire, his breathing was barely more than a whisper.  This would be all well and good if it didn’t mean he had a nasty habit of eavesdropping.

Well… not so much eavesdropping as accidentally overhearing.  No one ever heard him coming.  It was a gift and a curse.  A gift for him when he had his eyes set on an enemy.  A curse when he heard things he knew weren’t meant for his ears.

Yesterday was one of those days.  He’d just been minding his own damn business when he walked into a clearly private conversation, and really, who has those outside?  Ain’t that the kind of shit closed doors were made for? And now, now… he couldn’t get that shit outta his head.

It was like a damn echo somewhere off in the distance but close enough to worry, and it kept following him wherever he went for the rest of the day yesterday.  It had snuck up on him around corners while he was dreaming last night, and this morning didn’t seem to be any different.  He needed out.

He changed into a clean long sleeve shirt and vest that Jesus had brought him a few days ago, grabbed his crossbow, his backpack, and an apple, and hustled for the main gate.  It was early enough that he might miss everyone if he hurried.  The guards were just cracking the gate for him when he heard a voice he’d become all to familiar with lately call his name.

Son of a bitch!  If this asshole wasn’t takin’ his sweet ass time with the damn gate I coulda already been gone.  I can still get outta here.  Just pretend you don’t hear nothing, Daryl.

“Hey, Daryl,” the guard said.

“Hn?”  He didn’t mean to sound like a dick but he needed this gate open now and this asshole wanted to talk about it.

“I think Jesus needs you,” he said calmly, and pointed somewhere in the distance behind him.  He turned to where the guy was pointing.  Yup, there was Jesus making some signal with his hand, but he couldn’t make it out.  He shielded his eyes from the early morning sun and squinted.  Looked like a five. Give you five?  I don’t think so.

He turned to go out the gate; it had to be open now, only to find it closed again. He gave a silent growl of frustration. This was not how this morning was supposed to go.  He almost flinched when he heard boots saunter up behind him. He turned to find Jesus beaming, yes beaming, at him.  Who the fuck beamed this early in the morning anyway?

“Thanks for waiting, Daryl,” he said as his smile softened.

Asshole up there didn’t give me much of a choice.  He glared up at the guy for a couple seconds.  He said nothing, just watched Jesus pull a white long sleeve thermal over a black wife-beater.  He thought, and not for the first time, how the hell does this guy scavenge on his own?  He used to be the kind of guy that bought into stereotypes, Merle had set him on that path, and Glenn had helped him see right, but Jesus was so… soft.

“Where you off to so early, Daryl?” Jesus asked as he slid on his blue vest.

“Just out for a stroll.  Somethin’ I can do for you?” he replied.

Jesus just shook his head at his rude tone and smiled.  “I wouldn’t have stopped you otherwise,” he said as he pulled on his leather jacket, and pulled his long hair out the back.

“Well, go on. What is it?”  He did not have time for this.

“I got a lead on some guns,” he said as he checked through his backpack one more time.  “I need someone to help me check it out.  Normally I’d go alone, but if what I think is there, is there, well I’m going to need help getting it back here.”

Damn.  They needed guns.  His people, Alexandria, needed guns.  Anything else and he would have said no outright, but not this.  He nodded his agreement, and Jesus beamed up at him, again.  Jesus stood up, pulled his backpack over both shoulders then looked up at the guy manning the gate.  “Can you open up for us, Micah?” he said with another smile.

“Sure thing, Jesus,” he said and went to work quickly and efficiently.  

Oh now he wants to hurry.  Psht, asshole.

~TBC on A03  


“Oh my god, (Y/N)! You didn’t have to do this. This is great! This is why I love you.”

Daryl x Jesus headcanons.

● Sometimes when Jesus goes on supply runs, he’ll grab Daryl things (cartons of cigarrettes, whisky, or on one occassion, an antique hunting knife with an ivory handle) and leaves them in Daryl’s room after Daryl’s has fallen asleep.

● Jesus never says, but Daryl knows it’s him bc he knows Jesus is the only one who could sneak in without waking him, “Damn ninja prick”.

● Daryl doesn’t know how to say thank you like a normal person but when the group is sending Jesus off, back to Hilltop, Daryl stomps up, mumbles “I got this squirrel fir ya”, shoves it into Jesus’s hands, and stomps away, never making eye contact. Jesus beams.

● Rick is the first in the group to recognize Daryl’s behavior for what it is, AFFECTION. Jesus realizes about the same time Rick does. Poor Daryl is the last to figure it out, months after the rest of Alexandria.

● Maggie is the first one to gently let Daryl know that she knows about his feelings for Jesus. He’s over putting together baby furniture (and boy when did his life take that turn?), Maggie is very pregnant at this point, and he looks up at her like a deer in the headlights, and she smiles her Maggie smile and tells him that in this world, you have to hold onto what makes you happy, it’s what makes life worth living, and he deserves it. He puts his head on her big belly. and she pets his cheek and says she loves him bc she does.

● Maggie is very maternal, okay.

● Maggie is Jesus’s bro. Jesus has confided in her how he feels about Daryl early on.

● By the time Daryl realizes he cares for Jesus, he freaks out. He’s never been romantically attracted to anyone before (he always was too focused on surviving, first his dad and brother, than the world’s end), much less a man, so he stomps to Aaron’s and Aaron opens his door, confused, and asks “Hey Daryl, come in, what’s wrong? is someone hurt?” and Daryl goes in and mumbles “I need ta’ ask ya’ ‘bout something” but his throat goes dry, and his eyes get glassy with tears and he just can’t get it out, and he starts “I think…”, and he swallows and scrubs his face “I think I… um… Jesus is…how do you know when…”, and Aaron puts a hand on his shoulder and says quietly “I think if you’re asking what I think your asking, you know the answer”. (I read something similar in a fic, and will never be convinced it didn’t happen, so there).

● Basically when Daryl has feelings there is a lot of stomping and a lot of mumbling.

● It’s not a secret that Jesus feels more at home in Alexandria than at Hilltop. A while in, Jesus splits his time between the 2 places 50/50. By this time, Daryl has his own small house next to Rick’s family and tells Rick “That prick can take one of my rooms. Don’t need ‘em getting up to nothin’, I should watch ‘em. Shouldn’t be by Lil asskicker”.

● Rick shares a knowing smirk with Michonne and simply says “Okay Daryl”.

● Jesus is actually really great with kids. Judith loves him and sometimes when she’s crying at night, when Rick and Michonne just cant calm her down, he’ll make his way to Rick’s and take Judith from Rick or Michonne saying “I got it, why don’t you get some sleep” and he’ll make his way back home (bc now that he’s there, he considers Daryl’s house “home” not Hilltop) and sit on the porch swing and she puts her chubby fingers in his beard and he tells her all about the world before it ended, and Daryl will stand just inside the door listening. Jesus knows he is there. His stories calm Daryl too.

● Jesus thought the first time they would kiss, it would be after one of them nearly dies. what actually happens is on one of those nights Judith falls asleep in his lap on the porch, Jesus stands up with Judith still in his arms, goes to walk in the house (he has a play pen his room for just this occasion) but Daryl startles bc he usually sneaks away before Jesus can see him there, and Jesus just stares at him, and Daryl wants to break eye contact but he’s frozen there and embarrassed, and Jesus slowly makes his way into Daryl’s space, giving him time to back out, but he doesn’t, so he places a chaste kiss on Daryl’s lips and goes on his way.

● They don’t talk about that night until Daryl comes down with the flu 3 months later (and wouldn’t Daryl know it’s just his luck that its not a bastard walker, but a virus that’s gonna take him out) and Jesus is sitting in a chair at his bedside re-wetting washcloths to place on his forehead, and Daryl is having fever hallucinations, and crying and he tries to get outta bed but Jesus stops him and he won’t let go of Jesus so Jesus sits next to him all night in bed rubbing his hair and soothing him until his fever breaks, and when Daryl wakes up, Jesus makes to leave but Daryl asks “please stay” so he does. and Daryl asks him really quietly “when you kissed me, that wasn’t just a friend’s thing was it” and Jesus says “No Daryl, that wasn’t just a friend’s thing”.

● After that Jesus just makes his way to Daryl’s room at night and Daryl never tells him to leave so he doesn’t.

● Pretty much all of their relationship happens without them explicitly discussing it.

● Jesus would never ask Daryl for more than he’s able to give him. It’s a year after he starts staying in Daryl’s bed that they make love, and it is making love. Jesus holds Daryl’s face in his hands and whispers how lucky he is to have found Daryl, and how perfect Daryl is to him, and it’s just beautiful. and perfect. and nothing can ruin it.

● It’s officially stated as public information one day when Rick, Daryl, and Michonne make their way to Hilltop with Jesus and Maggie to meet a new group. When everyone is back at Alexandria later that night, (they collectively decided the new group would fit in better at Alexandria) Daryl is hiding in a dark corner of the house, and a new woman is flirting with Jesus, and Daryl walks up puts his arm around Jesus and says “Hi, m’m Daryl, Jesus’s man” and kisses him on the temple.

● Jesus beams. Like hearts and rainbows come out of his eyes.

● Jesus gets that look a lot when Daryl does something sweet,or jealous, or generally Daryl-ish.

● Daryl and Jesus almost constantly bicker and banter 24 hours a day. Jesus is constantly finding ways to irritate Daryl into shoving or flicking or poking him.

● Jesus is basically a little boy on a playground pulling pigtails.

THIS HAS GOTTEN. SO. OUT. OF. CONTROL. Like I don’t know how this happened and I’m so sorry.

A Faith Crisis: Crushed By Doubt, Questions, and Disconnection (And Some Good News)

Two anonymous questions:

Hi pastor, i’m a 21 year old girl from philippines. i messaged you before about my doubts about God’s existence and my faith in Him. that was almost a year ago. Praise God that I was able to recover my faith and go back to normal living with God and i believe it became even better. but i feel so sad again right now because my doubts came back just a week ago. the desire to know God is still here but questions are bothering me. i still have lots of things to share. please help me. thank you!

Hi:), i write to you because i think of you as an understanding and matured faith person so i thought maybe i could share with u my problem.. So, i have a big faith crisis now, like somehow i found myself drowning among doubts … I just started a biblestudy on God’s personality but somehow i found myself on a worst place. As i do the biblestudy something says these “cool things” should make an impact in me, but they dont, like my inner radar would be broken … i wanna thank u that you share things so openly!:)


Hey my dear friends: Please first know that I love you both dearly in Christ, and I know how hard it is to fall into this fog of doubt.  I appreciate you both being so honest and real about this, and I’m also grateful for your encouragement even in the midst of this harder time.

You see, the Big Christian Secret is that every Christian in the world runs into doubts, question, confusion, and frustration, because there isn’t anything wrong with you that isn’t already wrong with everyone else.  This doesn’t make you a bad Christian, but an honest one.

In fact, I would say that every human being who ever existed runs into doubts about their own worldviews, a sort of existential panic about what they truly believe, and it can be downright disorienting. 

Here are three simple things we must know.  I have said them many times before and they could sound familiar, so please feel free to skip around.


1) Sometimes doubts are just seasonal valleys, because we’re fragile squishy human beings who occasionally get moody.

No one is expected to maintain an emotional high about their faith all the time.  Not everyday is a rocked out laser show singing to Jesus on full blast.  Maybe at that Sunday service or the retreat or revival, you felt a spine-tingling surge of divine ecstasy with God, and it could’ve been a legitimate experience: but not everyday of your marriage is supposed to look like your wedding.  That sort of hype is impossible to sustain.  We’re not in Heaven yet, and we don’t need to force it either.

Moses didn’t split a Red Sea every Thursday.  David didn’t kill a Goliath at every revival.  And Jesus didn’t transfigure – that scene in Mark 9 when Jesus shoots laser beams and lightning out his face – every time they ate breakfast.  We’re not supposed to re-create our highs, but to remember the Most High in our lows.

And you know, some days you just get tired, cranky, jaded, or gassy.  Sometimes you’re just not in the mood.  Sometimes this means for very long seasons, you might not “feel God."  And when you feel far from Him, maybe that doesn’t get to determine your overall faith, or maybe we’ve measured our entire progress on absurd spiritual parameters.

When you think God isn’t near, you can tell Him, "I feel so far."  God is not mad about your doubts, your venting, your shaking of the first, or your inability to get excited about Him.  He receives us in every condition, so that His grace might fill the dryness of our desert seasons.

Your feelings are very real, but they can’t be everything.  If we always waited to feel right with God to be good Christians, no one would ever get right or get good.  So it’s really not about "how to get this right,” but simply pressing into God with even the tiny little bit of faith that we have today, for Jesus said even a mustard seed of faith is enough to move mountains.

Also check out:

- Five Ways To Kickstart Your Faith Today

- See Him: If You’re Not Sure About God Right Now


2) Sometimes doubts are gentle promptings to investigate your deepest beliefs, especially when life hits hard.

The truth is: Doubt is not a “sin."  It’s great to have a vibrant, robust, thriving sort of faith, and God wants that for you.  But our deepest roots are born out of the winter nights when we’ve had to dig into the shallow dirt of our infant beliefs and reach into the soil of our most core foundations.

Contrary to pop culture option, Christianity will challenge you to think for yourself. As a pastor, I never want to teach you what to think as much as how.  True faith, the kind that perseveres through pain and trials and urgency, takes a surgical navigation through all the very difficult questions of life.  Only doubts will ever get you to ask them.

When pain hits home and you’re walking through that cancer or car accident or earthquake, you want the kind of faith that can face death.  In the end, I want a faith that doesn’t just tickle my inspiration or gives me cute slogans, but a faith that can get beat up by suffering and scholars and satanic evil, and will keep on standing.  And that only comes when you’re able to hold up those doubts to the light, rotate them over and over, and take a second look at every intellectual and existential answer that Christianity has to offer.

There are too many Christians who don’t really dig to the bottom of what they believe, so that when tragedy comes, they wonder how their concept of God could ever allow such misery.  This quickly turns into a toxic disillusionment because their faith was never nuanced enough to deal with the gray-space struggle of real life.  It’s not that their God was not big enough, but rather much too small.

It’s one thing to say that "Jesus died for my sins and got up from the dead."  Any church attender could say they believe this, and maybe they do in some esoteric symbolic way.  But what really gets you through the grinding jaws of suffering is to know that Jesus actually conquered a nameless grave, that he threw a right hook at Satan and an uppercut at sin, that the Resurrection offers a sweeping victory against entropy and aging and disease and atrocity, and that Jesus uppercut death in the face.  Jesus destroyed all our greatest enemies by entering through them himself, and then invites us into such power and grace.

The Resurrection, if it really happened, has to be both existentially satisfying and intellectually complete.  It’s totally wise to doubt that such a thing happened: but such doubt drives you to seek the truth, and when you even entertain the possibility that it happened, it’s downright electrifying.


3) Some of us are simply wired to be more doubtful than others. 

Though I believe Jesus is the ultimate answer and accommodation for our reality, I also doubt him every single day

When Moses split the Red Sea, there were probably 1) victorious triumphant warriors saying "This is our God!” and 2) doubtful panicking screamers running full speed through whales and plankton.  I’m a Screamer.  I’m a cynic.  I’m a critic.  I’m Peter, who fell into the water after he got off the boat.

I’m not giving you an excuse to have a halfway lukewarm faith.  I would never wish that upon anyone.  But I’m okay with my slow-burning, smoldering, sit-in-the-backseat sort of faith most of the time.  Just because I don’t sing like the front row of worship service doesn’t mean I don’t love Jesus.  It just means I’m wired to love him when I write, when I see the sun break through the stitching in the clouds, when I serve the homeless and see the face of Jesus there. 

Please don’t beat yourself up about a slowly sizzling faith.  Each day, no matter how you feel or what’s happening, pray anyway.  Read the Bible anyway.  Sing anyway.  Serve anyway.  Your life keeps going, so talk with God anyway.  And just sometimes: the Sea will split again.  Those giants fall with great aplomb.  And Jesus will be there on the mountaintop, full of light and glory and weight, unleashing his furious love poured out for us destitute, despondent sinners. It’s those rare moments which I call to mind as I descend back into the valley, and no one can ever talk me out them.  Even with my tiny little bit of seed-sized faith, I can say, “So there I saw him on that mountain, and he is true.  He is good.  He is down here, too, as He always was, and will be.”

– J.S.

i talk a lot about how much joshua just kills me (insert laugh track) but man he’s just. man.

when they encounter the taboo noise at the end of w2d5 and neku goes

it’s enough to give joshua pause and

“hoping to avoid this” as in even when he’d already acknowledged that the taboo noise was too strong for them, joshua wasn’t even planning on using a greater extent of his powers. it’s only until after he hears neku’s determination and just how much he wants to win this game does he change his mind.

the change in neku is already so noticeable by this point in the game. it's so astounding to see– so much so that joshua is even willing to compromise his cover as just another player. (kariya is quick to point out that not any regular player can shoot “”“jesus beams,”“” and though they don’t pick up that it’s a composer-ly power, it’s enough to put him under suspicion.)

joshua already had faith in neku as a proxy, but this is furthering his faith in him as a partner and i’m

joshua shut the hell up i love you so much i hate you sometimes

limonmelon  asked:


In the beginning, there was love.

Well, if you want to be specific, in the beginning there was the Big Bang and stars exploding and galaxies expanding out into the universe, hydrogen and helium and – but we don’t care about that.

In the beginning, there was love. That’s the important part.


Geno’s life is – not great, would probably be the best way to put it. He drives a shitty taxicab and he lives in his shitty pod apartment and fends off calls from shitty people like Lieutenant General Alexander fucking Ovechkin. It’s not the most satisfying life he could lead, but it’s his, and so he muddles along and doesn’t hope for much better.

It turns out he didn’t need to hope, because much better falls from the top of the US Steel Tower straight into his taxicab.

“Hey,” Geno says, even as he dodges some civilian that seriously needs to chill out, he is not that bad at left turns, “you okay?”

“Mmph,” says the stranger currently wrapped up in bandages and looking dazed.

“You okay?” Geno repeats, dodging a fucking McDonald’s and seriously hoping all those police cars aren’t meant for him. “Fall very far, very fast. Anything broken?”

The stranger replies in a stream of gibberish. Geno chances another glance and finds that said stranger is a him, broad-shouldered and dark-haired and still looking like he just got high before deciding to take a thousand story plunge. 

“Great,” Geno says, turning back towards his windshield and wincing at the sound of police sirens. “If I do stupid thing, you gonna be okay?”

There’s a long pause, and then the stranger says something totally incomprehensible.

Geno grins sharply and reaches for the definitely not standard-issue panel below his steering wheel. “Great.”


It turns out that Incredibly Handsome Cab Invader is actually some sort of important religious figure – if Geno’s understanding the flurry of French-Canadian accents on the other end of the line correctly, this guy is basically the second coming of Christ, but an alien. Alien Jesus.

“So you Messiah?” Geno asks, sitting down on his bed and staring at Alien Jesus, who looks placidly back before eating another burger.

Alien Jesus says something too quickly for Geno to understand, then laughs. He sounds like a goose that’s learned how to giggle, and it’s awful, and it has Geno smiling before he knows what he’s doing.

Alien Jesus grins right back, crinkled and crooked. It’s the most imperfect thing about him.

“Jesus doesn’t smile like that,” Geno informs him in Russian. Alien Jesus beams back.


“You have name?” Geno asks, sticking to English for the sake of the assistant priest still hovering over his shoulder. It’s not like anything he’s said so far has gotten any hint of comprehension from Handsome Alien Jesus, no matter what language he’s speaking in. Sure, Father Dupuis said he’s a fast learner, but Geno thinks it’s fair of him to be critical of French Canadian priests who look a little wild around the eyes. Either way, whatever gets Assistant Priest Letang off his back will definitely help.

“Sidinai Krosbaria Forbei-Tchei Dei Kidai,” says Alien Jesus.

Geno blinks at him.

“I’m call you Sid,” he says finally, staring at Sid, in his stretched out t-shirt and with his hair curling just a little.

Sid grins at him. “Sid,” he repeats happily, and then he laughs again, that giggle crossed with a goose honk that does something terrible to Geno’s insides.

Geno might have to admit that, well – if the aliens Father Dupuis were talking about were trying for the perfect being, they didn’t get much wrong with Sid.

I went onto a “Christian Tf2 server” and

Within the first five seconds I hear “I was on a conservative server. They didn’t allow foul language but they let you take the Lord’s name in vain”

And I just hear demoman in the background scream “BLOODY HELL”