jessiray

Cis bisexuals, responding to your posts

Putting this in a separate post to respond to vampireredhead and jessiray. Several other folks raised similar points but I’ll just deal with them all here and link people as necessary. Cis bisexuals who have been collecting, feel free to link to this if you need to.

I did this FAQ style based on the arguments the linked posts were making, and a couple others I saw on reblogs.

Why are you only talking about bisexual people?

  • I am bisexual. Trans people share this label with you. Trans people argue for the validity of this label and try to destigmatize it all over this website and elsewhere (have you checked my bisexuality tag? I do it almost every day). Trans people are trotted out plenty of times to prove the bisexual label isn’t inherently transphobic or binarist, so there should be plenty of room for us to deal with in-house cissexism as needed.
  • I see posts every day from monosexual people, particularly from trans folks who share that identity with that group, to stop conflating their attraction to (or non-attraction) to genitals. Saying “I’m gay because vaginas are gross!” is cissexist and misogynist, saying “I’m a lesbian because penises are gross!” is cissexist and transmisogynist. You may only have sex with cis people and that’s your deal, but placing value judgments (good or bad) about people’s genital situations as related to gender and desire is usually bad for us trans folks.
  • I would like my bisexual communities to be a safe place for me as a trans bisexual.

Are you saying I can’t like people’s bodies as a big part of my attraction/sexuality/sexual identity?

  • No. Just that you should not conflate liking multiple kinds of bodies (esp genitals) with your attraction to multiple genders.
  • I’m asking that you consider the impact that genital-focused discussions have on trans folks, esp AMAB trans folks, because the effects it has on trans people and cis people are not equal.
  • This does not mean you can’t talk about what people do with their bodies or how they do gender or their presentation as a big part of why you like them/are attracted to them. I hope people notice my presentation and like me because of it, not in spite of it. I also hope they don’t conflate my genitals with my gender, too.

But I’m proud I like many kinds of bodies/genitals! That’s what makes being bisexual so great/different!

  • Except it’s not what makes bisexuality unique. For example, a lesbian likes women right? And women can have a variety of genital configurations, right? And lesbian is distinct from bisexual, right? So interacting with/being attracted to people with diverse bodies is not what makes bisexual so great, it’s a reality spread across all identities.
  • Phrasing your desire in this way means you necessarily spread multiple kinds of genitals across more than one gender to describe what makes bisexuality unique. That is conflating people’s bodies with their genders, and that is cissexist. 
  • That does not mean you have to abandon talking about what you like to do in the sack. Merely that you should be more careful and more precise while doing it.

Aren’t you being kinda prude with all this?

  • Not that it’d be a problem if I was, but I’m far from it. I talk about sex and what I like to do with other people ALL THE TIME. I have a nudie blog, have you seen it? 
  • If I were slut-shaming, it would mean I’d have to say “talking about genitals is gross” when I actually said, “conflating genitals with gender is gross”. I also said, “when you talk about desire/attraction to/sex with trans people and you focus on the genital talk, it impacts us in negative ways so could you be more careful with that?”

Furthermore, I spent an hour writing my first post, and an hour writing this response. You’ll notice that I repeat myself quite a bit in this post because in my original one, I laid out things with a lot of precision using the best word economy I could. I ask that cis bisexuals reread the original, and then this post, at least twice before I get any more messages or reblogs about why I’m being such a big meanie about all this.

I responded to vampireredhead and jessiray with an educational post because they asked for one politely. I will not put this kind of effort into posts for folks taking whiny cis shits any time a trans person calls them on some bullshit.

womaninthereddress  asked:

As a bisexual, I'd like to point out that Leonardo could have been bi, both in real life and in game. In game he's seen hanging around with courtesans. So while he could be gay, he could also be bi... or he could just be a flamboyant hetrosexual. We'll never know for sure.

You might be right, but…

Seriously, are we going to argue about the sexuality of a man who lived 500 years ago? We know he was a great person and there’s no doubt about that. That should be enough for us.

Let’s just leave it here.

womaninthereddress  asked:

Hello. I was looking for a cheap but colorful eye shadow pallet on Amazon when I rain accross one from a company called "Shany" for 11 dollars. It had a wide variety of bright colors that I was looking for. But the cheap price makes me a bit skeptical. Have you ever used this brand before? Is it any good?

I haven’t used those palettes under the name “Shany”, but they are the same generic palettes that are sold by many companies, including BH Cosmetics and Coastal Scents!  So yes, they are good quality, especially for the price!  But while you’re at it you might want to check out BHC or CS… they’re more “established” companies you might say and always have special deals going on, unlike the things sold on Amazon!  :)

4

Donna Noble for nightmarishdream
Riku for jessiray
John Bender for e-xpire
Daiki Aomine for lexinyx (previously twerkinminako)

I had a lot of fun getting to draw Bender. He’s got a very distinctive face that it was fun to try and recreate. C: I will also always enjoy drawing Kingdom Hearts characters. riku y u so moe. Also, I apologize for kind of making Aomine look like a demon. He just… has all those lines on his face. @_@ I guess maybe I should have gone all the way and given him some horns, huh.

jessiray replied to your post: I just realised that in all the time the Homestuck…

Is homestruck worth reading? I like the character designs but the fandom keeps me from checking it out.

Honestly the fandom irritates me too and it was one of the main things that kept me from reading it, despite being familiar with his other works.

It’s really quite good, if you ignore the fandom (as I will say about most things with active fandoms now). Some people don’t like the first act because it’s boring and it usually takes a few tries to get past the first 100 pages or so, but I actually really enjoy act one. I mean if you want to, check it out, but I won’t force you to either way! It isn’t to everyone’s liking, and honestly the fandom is bloody irritating half of the time… well, no that’s unfair, half of the fandom is terrible.