jessica merizan

I'm done.

I wrote something with rationalizations, justifications, and defenses against misinformation but deleted it, because I realized it doesn’t really matter. What does is how I feel: my perspective has changed after this week on the world of cosplay. I will keep doing “make believe” costumes and encouraging kids (+those at heart) to follow their imaginations, but I’m out as far as everything else goes. No thanks. 

It probably would have been easier if everyone was just personally attacking me since that’s easy to ignore, but it’s that PLUS my friends and professionals who are amazing and hardworking, ethical people. Flawed? Yes. But do you want me to throw stones at your glass house?

My mom just survived cancer (again). I’ve gone to more funerals than I have weddings. My childhood was spent watching people I loved suffer through addiction, prostitution, jail, child protective services, abuse. I personally experienced things that are too triggering for me to talk about. 

And seeing all of this, that’s where I’m at. I don’t even want to go on my Facebook or Twitter or Tumblr anymore. Literally, panic attacks. And, I always tell people, “When it stops being fun, stop doing it." 

I couldn’t even get 100 shares when I (against better judgement lest it gets plagiarized) posted an excerpt of my research that inspired the Peter Pan costumes. That’s what people claimed they wanted right? Process? Fun? But when they get it? Oh… sorry. There’s some drama happening, better re-post that instead. But don’t do that on the TV show because that’s not real.

I’m tired of traditional cosplay. You can find me in the world of the Never Never Land. If that’s where you want to be, you know how to get there.

I love you. Let’s never fight again.


Agh.  I’d love to meet Steve at some point.

Really sweet guy, from what I’ve heard, too.

And as an Alistair cosplayer, I can totally relate to the emotional transferral thing.  It happens.


Wil Wheaton, Felicia Day, Laura Bailey, Jessica Merizan, Ify Nwadiwe, Hector Navarro, and Matt Mercer play Paranoia on No Survivors, hosted by Ivan Van Norman!


via @DragonAge on Twitter

Vivienne’s voice actress Indira Varma & @jessicamerizan rebuke Vivenne writer @BioMaryKirby in true Orlesian fashion