jessica judge

5

When I was doing reseach on the Ink & Paint Club picture I did, I found lots of this style of 1940’s art as well. I seem to be on a vintage and retro art kick as of late so I wanted to give it a try too. What started off as one image turned in to the main cast of Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Still one of my favorite films.

Once again, designs like this can be found over at my Red Bubble shop and Society6 too.

youtube

IT’S FINALLY HERE!! Check out Tiarawhy’s animation of the animatic released by the creators of Rick and Morty. I play Jessica at the end with Shadyvox as Morty. Totally linking this to the creators of the show on Twitter to let them know it’s done! @Rickandmorty  @justinroiland and @danharmon

3

WTF Merch: Roger Rabbit Dip Flip Game

TIL that Disney once put out a Roger Rabbit-themed game where players act as the villainous Judge Doom, tossing ‘toons (including Roger, Jessica and Baby Herman) into a spinning barrel of deadly Dip.

Yes, you read that right: THE POINT OF THE GAME IS TO KILL THE GOOD GUYS!!

Feeling evil? Roger Rabbit Dip Flip currently sells for $15 on Amazon.

8

I was never the hero you wanted me to be.

I actually feel sorry for Kilgrave.

First of all, I would like you to know that I have not read the comics. All what I’m going to say is about Netlix’s “Jessica Jones” show. I truly apologize if I’m missing some kind of a major point from the comic books. 

Secondly, it’s not like I’m defending him in any way. Kilgrave was an abusing, aggressive, egoistic and cruel asshole. He felt no regret while watching how people killed someone else, because he ordered them. He felt no regret in taking someone’s inner organs, sentencing them to live a worthless life, unable to control their own bodies. He destroyed people’s lives willingly. 

BUT: As Tony Stark already knows, we create our own demons

Kilgrave had never experienced love in his whole life. Yes, it is true that his parents tried to cure him, but I feel like it was their cover-up purpose. Why else would they use all the other children? They probably wanted to find a “wonder drug”, which they could sell for billions of dollars. Saving their only son was a nice side effect. They obviously never told him they loved him. They never hugged him afterwards. They never took his pain seriously (”It’s only gonna sting a bit”). They never told him they do all of this to save him, because they care about him. They were so blinded by their purpose they never realised they’re creating a monster. Until the monster started to fight back and it was already too late.

Young Kilgrave, who have never got to know how love truly feels, started to realise that he can get people who hurt him to do what he wants. No one ever bothered to tell him what is good and what is evil. How was he supposed to know he could do any good? He discovered it was the only way to defence himself from all the pain, which was caused by people who were supposed to love and protect him. And when he started defending himself, he was abondonded. Left completely alone in his teenage years, just because he started doing something that his “parents” haven’t foreseen. After all, he was a person. Someone, who had feelings. Don’t try to tell me you have never been so angry that you said words that were never meant to happen. Unfortunately, Kilgrave’s power didn’t seem to know when he really meant something and when he was just being emotional. No one ever bothered to teach him how to use this power, but there was a lot of people who wanted to punish him for that.

Kilgrave spent plenty of time being completely alone. Jessica have lost her family too, but she have had Trish by her side. She have had someone to take care of. Plus, Jessica knew what a loving family was and she felt guilty for what have happened, which made her feel obligated to pay for. Kilgrave have never had any of this. Jessica was the only person, who made him feel something such as unfamiliar as love. 

I think he really loved her. He wanted to do everything to be good in her eyes, but given that no one ever told him what the “good” really is, he didn’t know how to. He have had some ideas, something he have heard or seen somewhere, but mostly he was just guessing blindly. He probably knew that his parents were the reason behind it, so he tried to destroy any trace of them and probably was going to try and earn Jessica’s love without mind controlling. He couldn’t do that, because as said before, he never knew when people did something for him, because they wanted to or because he made them. On the top of that, he didn’t know how to handle his power and emotions, and it all ended tragically. 


Yes, Kilgrave was an asshole. If he truly, truly wanted, he could have become a hero, because a lot of heroes had a shitty childhood. He just kept going the wrong way. But a lot of us don’t hate Loki. Or Deadpool. Or Lord Voldemort. Or Malfoys. Or Joker. Or Gollum. Or *insert any fandom here*. It’s the same with Kilgrave. 


I know I really shouldn’t say this as a woman. Kilgrave represents all the psychopatic, abusive boyfriends/husbands all over the world and I truly feel sorry for every girl or woman who have ever been violated by their partners. It should never happen and their abuser deserves to be punished. 


But I truly believe that Kilgrave could have been “fixed” if anyone have ever truly loved him. I believe he could be the most loving and caring person ever.


5

Kristine gathers all of the ladies’ finalists - me, Kristen, Amber, and Jessica - along with the judges in the center of the ring. Charles, who’s been my coach throughout the weekend, is there as well.

“There is no cap in finals,” Kristine says, referring to the eight-point mercy rule that was in effect in pools. “Whoever has the most points at the end wins.”

“So is the break taken at a minute-thirty, or after three minutes?” I ask.

“Each round is three minutes.”

“Charles,” I say, turning to face him, “I’m going to need some water.”

He goes off in search of a bottle of water, but it is not so easily found and Kristine isn’t wasting any time. I’m in my corner, Kristen, my opponent is in her’s. Kristine’s already asking if the table and judges are ready. There’s no way Charles will be back in time, but I spot Tim across the ring.

“TIM!” I shout, through my mask. He runs over to my side, and two seconds later, I’m fighting for bronze.

***

It’s been four months since my last women’s tournament, and six weeks since my last open. Here I’ll be fighting women whom I’ve never seen fight before, and thus I have no idea what to expect. I’m going in with a new attitude - I’m not just looking to make it out of my pool here; I want to win the whole shebang.

It affects the way I fight. Somewhere in my first match I land a thrust, one that I’ve only landed once or twice in sparring before. It carries over - my first two pool fights are wins for me; they aren’t perfect, but they are clean and decidedly in my favor. Unlike in Pittsburgh, this time, when I see the openings, I’m able to take them.

My third pool fight, however, is another story. Jessica is fast, and unimpeded by the provided swords we are using. Everyone loses fights, but sometimes you just get beat, and that’s what happens here.

***

I want this so bad.

I can’t explain it any way other than - I’ve never in my life won anything on the merit of my own athletic talent or martial skill. I was always the kid that couldn’t make the team even in a year when more people made it than didn’t.

This isn’t supposed to be about the medals or competition against anyone or anything other than myself, and yet to get a medal here would give me a sense of validation that’s been almost impossible to find elsewhere. This is my sixth tournament, and my fourth women’s one. I’m past the point of nerves threatening to undo everything, of wondering if I can do this. I know I can; now I need to prove it.

***

In my first elimination match, I’m up against Ashleigh, who I faced earlier in my pool. I know I won earlier, but I also know that it’s quite common to win a pool fight against someone and then lose to them in eliminations.

The last time I was in this situation, Jayson told me, before the fight, “Win here and you’ll be fighting for a medal.” This time I find Jayson and tell him, “that thing you told me before SoCal? Don’t say it here.”

This time I have no distractions. I don’t let my nerves get the better of me. You can ask me now to recap the fight, but three days and one Finnish death flu later, I am left hoping there’s video somewhere.

I’ve already done the math in my head - whatever happens in my next fight, I’ll be fighting for a medal Saturday afternoon.

***

The first round of our fight is evenly matched. I maintain a slight lead throughout, but I’m just one exchange away from being on the other end. I’m mostly fighting from the nach, as is my personal preference - this isn’t the time for experimentation - and to my advantage, as I start to notice patterns.

For once I can see openings, for once I can remember what the correct thing to do is when I’m supposed to do it. Nothing about this fight is easy, but there are chances for me to seize, and for once I’m seizing them.

The only problem? At the end of three minutes I’m exhausted, and there’s still another three minutes to go.

“Relax,” Tim says.

If only it was that easy.

***

My semi-final match has too many lead changes for me to remember, other than that I had an early lead, lost it, and very nearly regained it at the end.

It’s a challenging fight, as if to say that if you are going to fight for gold, you’d better earn every second of it. We go back and forth, in a three minute bout that seems like it’s taking sixty. Amber knows what she’s doing, and while I’m trying my best, tonight it’s not enough.

Amber will be going for gold or at worst settling for silver; I will have to earn a bronze or go home once again empty-handed.

***

In the next round, instead of succumbing to my exhaustion, I’m able to push past it. I start not just landing hits, but doing things I’ve never even done in sparring before now. About halfway through the second round of my fight with Kristen, I land a thrust to the neck. Despite my mask I can hear Tim’s shout from across the ring.

At about 2:45 I realize I have a five point lead. It’s not insurmountable, but it’s close. Don’t do anything stupid, I say, repeating myself as the clock winds down. And then, just like that, it’s over. I’ve won.

***

I thought I’d be overcome with emotion, but the only emotion I’m feeling right now is pure, unadulterated joy. Joy in the art, joy in my performance tonight, joy in the camaraderie and natural good feelings engendered by all of the women competitors this tournament. How recently was it where I would have just been happy with winning a match?

This isn’t the pinnacle; there’s much I need to work on, and that will start as soon as I am over this flu and can begin training again. There’s only three weeks until Shortpoint, and the schedule doesn’t let up until August.

Purpleheart has left me with a feeling of joy and accomplishment - and still there is a craving for so much more.