Test firing and sighting in some #JJFU guns on my New super badass shooting bench my Coonass friend Jason @xtremewaterjet made me. I love it. All I need now is a fridge down here and I’ll be set… #jessejames @erik.brunetti #FUCT #westcoastchoppers (at Hill Country)

Jesse: man bae that really scared me. Why did you do that for?

Me: have a back spasm? They’re involuntary

Jesse: take a muscle relaxer please. You’re scaring me

Me: okay baby but rememeber they wear off so if I have another don’t get scared

Jesse: but what if I don’t get scared and you die because my fear is keeping you alive?

Me: well just try not to scare yourself to death okay?

Jesse: okay I’ll try

Me: I love you and Brian too

Jesse: thank told my daughter I’m gay last night?

Me she’s a gay rights activist you’re accepted as you are

Brian: thank you

Jesse: thanks

Me: my daughter… our daughter…

Jeremyuh: hell yeah!

Me: yours too… that’s why she loves video games

Brian: and baby face’s?

Me: she laughs at the most onry and crude things she will love baby face

Baby face laughs: that’s not a very nice thing to say about me

Me: she will see your heart and she will have an instant trust and love for you.

Brian: are you sure?

Me: she’s just like me

Jesse: minus the Jesus shit

Me: hey she actually used a lighter I’m creating her to be Satan

Jesse: shut up

Me: they don’t know Satan is… Satan got tired of shit and Satan said fuck yall I’m filling the water table of San Marcos and you don’t appreciate a goddam thing I’ve done and so I’m going to flood the land so you know I’ve given you water to drink

Jesse: is Jesus the same thing as Satan

Me: I still don’t belive in Jesus

Brian: why not?

Me: because the story of Jesus is bullshit. It encourages people to create misery for others and they thunk nothing will happen to them

Brian: are you a Satan worshipper?

Me: I worship nobody I don’t have time. I am thankful for what I have and that my needs are provided. I know I am lucky. I’m truthful and honest I speak from my heart and I’m listened to by both good and evil and I have to decipher which is which. If I fail the good will pick me up. If I succeed the evil will fail.

Brian: how?

Me: I’ve earned the angel of death. And like my money I’m gonna spend my earnings

Brian: how?

Me: by believing that evil will never be good because they always get away with it

Brian: Sabrina you’re church ingredients

I know some Lazy assholes are not going to like reading this.
I am pretty fuckin sick of this new form of begging/panhandling for money via GoFundMe and other websites. Seems like motherfuckers use any form of hardship in their lives as an opportunity to beg for money from strangers. Don’t get me wrong I know there are some aging Vets that could use some help and I’m happy to give it to them because they have fallen on Genuine hard times. But the asshole that starts a GoFundMe account because got his tools stolen out of the back of his truck can Fuck Off. It’s not everyone’s fault that you’re a lazy fuck and didn’t lock your shit up. Accept what life throws your way and move on without putting your hardship on others. News Flash for everyone doing this. I have a GoFundMe account set up and it’s called “Working your ass off” and it gets a payment every 2 weeks called a “Paycheck”. Do that and gain some self respect. #obama #HillaryClinton

(at Texas State Capitol)

Jokes on you kid

Jesse: cause Sabrina told me she doesn’t want to have a baby

Me: I said no such thing! He’s lying!

Jesse: what did you tell me on the phone when I asked if you wanted to have a baby?

Me: you never asked me that

Jeremyuh: oh this is good. She got you fucked. I can’t wait to hear the end of this. So Sabrina what did you do on the phone?

Me: well first I sat in the floor because I dropped the remote and then I got back in the bed

Baby face: you know how she answers questions

Jesse starts to laugh

I smile big: you know you’ve been had!

Jeremyuh trying not to laugh: so what did he get had on?

Me: me and me conversating

Brian busts with a laugh

Brian: you need to quit doing this to me I know you love me, but I need a hug and I know what you said on the phone but enlighten me and pretend I don’t

Me: I said no when he asked me a question

Jeremyuh: and what was the question, jesse?

Jesse: Jeremy I’m not telling it’s embarrassing and as Sabrina said on the phone, it’s quite obvious

Brian: not really, not to me I didn’t get it so I was really glad she called me from the kitchen to tell me that Jesse was polluting her lungs and making he clean and not giving her a drink of koolaid

Jesse: i had both cars running so she could get extra hot and dying of thirst while I made her do my chores like the two of you

Brian: and dying of exhaust, but baby what did you mean by what you said on the phone?

Baby face: I didn’t say anything. I haven’t talked on the phone in.. oh never mind you didn’t mean me

Me: I meant I didn’t have a penis

Jeremyuh: oh she’s having a girl!

Me: no I’m just horny I’m only ovulating.. [I was pregnant but we didn’t know and it was a girl but all fetus are female at first]

Jesse oh really?

Me: yeah Brian told me

Jeremyuh: so what did you mean? What was the conversation about?

Jesse: and what did you think that meant?

I tried hard not to laugh but I did! I laughed so hard I laid in the chair next to me. But I tried to keep it short but I just couldn’t help them it was too funny!

Jeremyuh: what is so funny?

Jesse: did you play a trick on me?

Me: no
But I started to giggle again which made everyone else laugh because it was contagious.

Jeremyuh: okay tell me let’s be a grown up about this

Me: I AM! HE

Brian: no pointing

Me: I’m using all my fingers

The laughter continued

Jesse: okay what I asked her was “are you making a baby the same way as brian? And she said "no”

Jeremyuh: i don’t get it

Me: I don’t have a penis!

Jesse: you fucking bitch man! You had me going for hours! And hours! I was so pissed off at Brian!

Brian: so explain yourself to the rest of us, because me Jeremyuh don’t get it

Baby Face: me either

Me: I have the egg and Brian here honey has the Sperm so no I’m not making a baby the same way as Brian

Jeremyuh: and you thought you were asking the same way as intellectual and emotional

Jesse: yeah and spiritual and I asked her “well do you want a baby?”

Me: and I merely asked him “do you? Why would I want one?”

Brian: come here give me a kiss! I’m so proud of you

Jeremyuh: you know what so am I let me give you a hug! You did that all by yourself and almost got Brian here too!

Brian: almost! But I listened to the whole conversation last night like 10 times and then I still wasn’t sure so I came home to watch the video and she was smiling the whole time so I knew it was a joke a cruel joke but a good one. Here give me a kiss again

Jesse threw his sandwich down: where’s my fucking kiss?!

Baby face puckered up and Jesse leaned over and kissed him

Jesse: see? That’s what you get sabrina for not caring that I care about you

Me: so? Baby face come over here and give me one

Baby face: can i?

Brian: yeah but only because she’s so cute

So I got double hugs and kisses from baby face and Brian got a hug and kiss too and then baby face went around and gave jess a hug, sat down and then got up and gave Jeremyuh a pat on the back.

Jeremyuh: that was a good one! Brian almost got all of us on the way home yesterday When he told us the phone conversation we weren’t sure so we all come home and asked her “do you want a baby? With us? To raise it here in this house?” And you know what she said? “I couldn’t think of anything greater” and then she said “good night I’m in baby making mode. I’m Hornier hell. Honey? Do you care to join me?” And the smile in his face let me know everything was alright

Baby face nodded knowingly with a contagious smile

Jesse:what baby face?

Jeremyuh could hardly contain his giggles: we were listening at the door to make sure they weren’t fighting and unless they fight in code that sounds like “Uh uh uh” then they weren’t fighting

baby face erupted in giggles

And then I repeated the “Uh uh” and said “I could do it better”

Jesse got all embarrassed. “That’s what I heard this morning too”

Jesse was so embarrassed. His face was red all weekend. It was cool tho that he asked but I couldn’t help but be silly with him. He was really is sweet to me and I thought I knew how I felt….

Jesse: Sabrina who is Jesus?

Me: it’s time for night night

Jesse: who is Jesus, Sabrina?

Me: it’s time for night night

Jesse laughs: who the fuck is Jesus, bitch?

Me: I think that maybe Jesus was alive before I got pregnant

Jesse: how would you know that?

Me: because theres celestial signs pointing to Annie but…

Jesse: but what bae?

Me: Jesus was hung on a cross

Jesse: why?

Me: that’s not the point. The point is not to allow something like that to happen again because why do the same thing every 2000 years? The bible says that God and Jesus are a part of all of us. God made man in the image of himself so everyone has god in him. It’s The Ability To Be Able To USE The powers God Gave Us WITH kindness, love, intelligence, compassion. Everyone is Jesus, Jesse. Everyone. The blood of the lamb you partake in some rotten grape juice, unleavened bread is his whatever cause I don’t go to church and eat that shit cause it tastes horrible….

Jesse: okay it’s the body of Christ

Me: his bones? Cause its unleavened because it can’t be his flesh because that would bloat after death

Brian & Jesse: you’re missing the point

Me: it’s not meat Jesse it’s bread and it’s hard and it’s white what did I miss? Oh and there’s no salt on the shit! It tastes horrible! It has to be his bones

Brian: I don’t think I just eat the shit and believe

Jesse: I know it’s not meat but bones have bone marrow

Me: I know but you feed that shit to your dog and you grind up what’s left because that song beer for horse before your men

Jesse: thank you Sabrina that will be enough from you today. You changed my mind. Annie isn’t Jesus

Me: I’m glad you see it my way

Jesse: I was hoping that she was

Me: we all wish the twins were still alive. We all wish we didn’t allow ourselves to fall asleep that night. We all wish that there wasn’t smoke stuff coming in the vents or a ninja putting something in the fridge. We all wish the babies didn’t die. But I didn’t bring them back to life. I am not going to

Brian: why?

Me: because they were murdered and because they were taken out of me while they were alive by people who then put them in jars.

Brian: got it

Me: if people want another Jesus they’re going to have to change because this world is a piece of shit and if anything I would be here only to destroy it.

Brian: got it

Me: you love me ugly?

Brian: I love me

Me: me too

Brian: god you’re so sexy

Me: no you are

Jesse: stop! Oh my god!

Brian: let’s make a Jesus Sabrina

Me: we have a Jesse that’s all we need

Brian: they didn’t kill your last baby

Me: just because she’s 11 doesn’t Mean they won’t. Me nor you nor Jesse nor Jeremyuh nor Baby Face nor even Michael.

Brian: okay but I want a kid

Me: you have me

Jesse: shut up baby!

Me: I’ll be your dog and your cat and your baby

Brian: why am I not lucky?

Me: you can be my mouse… mighty mouse

Brian laughs: shut up!

Me: okay we can have a kid but it has to look like an alien just to freak people out. Okay I’m lying… I’ll pray about it… I don’t want to find it in a jar when it’s supposed to be a decade old and I don’t want a memory of it 20 years after it was born… in a jar…
Brian: so you have to think?
Me: I have to decide…
Jesse: on how many people you are going yo kill before you conceive another child with Brian?
Me: they will never see me kill anyone but they will all know who died and not why
Jesse: okay

So I have alot of pain… it serves as reminders of ny amnesia… cause I’m stubborn and I don’t believe in anything I hear…

So I got this pain in my rib that hurt like a mother fucker… really sharp but didn’t cover alot of area like of had been kicked

Jesse: that’s where Brian kicked you
I don’t say anything but I’m not sure…
Brian: why? Because you let that guy nudge me with his toe in the galley?
Me: but that wasn’t family he wasn’t used to dead bodies
Jesse: but that’s where Brian kicked you, you don’t remember?
Brian: I did not!
Jesse: yes you did you did it Brian
Brian: I did not
Jesse: your dad did it Sabrina
Me: now my face is fucking hurting like it smashed on the cement
Jesse: you know how you fell?
Brian: like a lady
Jesse: it looked like you were sitting and then you fell forward on your face
me: that’s how Brian… he falls to his knees
Brian: I do not! I fall backwards
me: I do too but my dad grabbed my hair… it was all dramatic I looked cute tho
Jesse: your dad gave you a bloody nose
Me: I guess he’s in competition with my mom then cause she gave me one too
Brian: when you were eight
Me: I never forget that
Jesse: then how come you forget what your dad did to you?
Me: because he had to because my mom kidnapped me
Brian: that’s what he felt
Me: that’s what I’m saying. And then it gave him an excuse to beat her up. After I’m left
Jesse: that’s tru too
Me: you seen him didn’t you Jesse?
Jesse: yeah it was pretty brutal. He makes her get naked and beats the shit out of her he did it with a broom stick that time
Me: well Happy Father’s Day!

Differences in perspectives... emotions... but still about quality

So baby face is out and he’s all… pissed off sitting in the car…
“What the fuck? How come nobody sees me when they look at me? Huh huh?”
He’s punching the steering wheel. I’m all out here by myself doing this weird god forbidden exercise that I have to do alone! And I don’t understand any of it! Not one! I just want my regular face back. I want everyone to see what I see when I look in thr mirror"

The angel of guiding light said that I said to call. And so Jeremiah and I had talked because the angel had notified us and we all decided for him to give compliments back

“Alright I’m calling this bitch and Jeremyuh ohhh and he thinks he’s getting this shirt back he’s rudely mistaken!!!! All I got here is $25 and a quarter what the fuck?! I didn’t bring my wallet or my shoes! Not anything! ‘Here here’s $25 and a quarter call me when you can! Oh yeah well I’m calling fuck you too!”

He storms to the payphone muttering to himself how he was all alone and nobody cares and we are supposed to!

“Hey I’m calling you guys back now! What the fuck? I’m asking people! And I hear oh all I see is your eyes or your mouth or your torso and if I hear I’m fat one more time I’m going to punch someone! All I want is my face back! Can I speak to the angel please? I mean what are we doing here?”

Jeremyuh said he would be right there and drag me along too but he told him pay compliments until we get there. So we waited an hour

And we went and I had to get out of the car first cause baby face McGee had cashed in $5 for all quarters and was blowing our phone up! Man he was pissed!

So I get out and he’s all “you ugly fat bitch! I’m supposed to pay you a compliment? Well there! That’s it!”

Well I walked over to him and said “well you’re not ugly”
“But you say I’m fat?”
“You’re a little pudgy I can admit that”

Oh he was lit he wanted to punch me so hard! Jeremyuh jumped out and said “we’ll quit! We’ll quit!”

“Alright all I want is my face back! Like right fucking now! Right fucking now!”

Jeremyuh and I start laughing
Knowing how Jesse would see it my laughter was scarcely controllable

I mean seriously it was the adult twisted version of “hey I stole your nose kid! Want it back? I’ll give you a quarter!”

So I gathered myself up, spun in a wide circle behind Jeremyuh and took baby face’s fist “but did you feel it?”

“It was just a joke man!!!” Offered Jeremyuh

“Quick call Brian and tell him to come down here he knows the punch line he said it this morning before I went downstairs to see Jeremyuh and his face”

Baby face had calmed down because I had my work face on Brian nearly always has a work face and we can always trust him. I never did jokes on my own and neither did Jeremyuh and so this was all new to baby face
It was the time that Brian learned to get a sense of humor and to quit being so negative… and say honest good things and to enjoy a good joke no matter how taboo it seems

Baby face really took us as his family seriously and he never really sought his full potential for what he wanted out of life. He was too secluded at home.
Jeremyuh was always playing his game but he learned to set an invite by placing a plugged in controller next to him on the floor we had to entice baby face little by little Jeremyuh would move the controller to invite him in like trying to hand it to him.
I spent more time in baby face’s room and cleaned it when he was home instead of at work and told him where I was placing things so that he could have communication and I asked him if I could do stuff. Alot of times he slept

Brian and I spent a lot of time in our room and even ate in there most of the time.
So we started having dinner together as a family. Especially on weekends when nobody was thinking about apprehending criminals all day long

And I went to the closest school on special assignment to meet friends so they could come over to our house and we could all be downstairs introducing new ways and new people into our life.

And so as Brian drove to the little convenience store on the corner by our house I had baby face touch and feel his face to see if it was there.
Jeremyuh felt baby face’s face and then his own and said it felt the same

“Oh great now I look like you!!!!” Poor baby face he really was into black magic

So I said “I feel my eye”

“But that’s the socket” he said when I touched my face

And I rushed close to him really fast “And I feel YOUR eye socket”

So I did his whole face and more than once if he insisted on a specific part like he didn’t feel that I touched his entire forehead and so I promised him his face went back to normal and I had him feel my face and Jeremyuh’s saying yours and mine. While Brian stood idly by. And I gave baby face the black magic power

“Brian could you please tell Baby Face the joke?” I asked when poor baby face was finally getting it

“I’ll be delighted! The punch line right?”

I nodded and smiled I loved my family so much but we were a straight up mess… but they made love come straight out of me. Compassion as deep as the ocean… we all did for each other even if sometimes we didn’t notice it.

And poor Brian… luckily he’s smart… or quick anyway, back in those days “hey I got your nose kid!”
He stood there stunned while Brian made a fist of his empty hand tucked his thumb into his fingers “i got your nose!”
Baby face McGee stood there shoulders drooped mouth hanging open.
Brian swatted him with his newspaper “look alive kid!”
And boy he did… he took shuddered deep breaths and he stood up to his friend
“GIVE ME BACK MY NOSE!!!!” And attacked Brian’s hand for it
“Gotta wrestle for it!” And boy baby face McGee wanted that nose back something awful he let go “I WANT IT BACK!”
Brian opened his hand “there you go”
Baby face McGee looked wildly for it “where… where did it go?!”
“It disappeared I didn’t want it”
I just stated laughing I couldn’t help it it was so dumb and he was so serious
Baby Face McGee took a swing at my solid husband who leaned back and said “woah”
They’re all trained to react that way.
Jeremyuh shouted “baby face no!!!!”
And Jeremyuh grabbed baby face by the shoulders and swung him to face the opposite way and baby face grabbed him in a hug and cried
I shook my head to Jeremyuh to not let him be hugged
“Get off kid” he said while pushing baby face away it was hard for Jeremyuh as he also had tears in his eyes

“Hey we’re just playing” answers Brian when baby face looked up stung, shocked and hurt
And then the angel and Jeremyuh said it was my turn. I was so rooted to my spot having moved there to make sure Brian didn’t get hit.

I walked to baby face quickly and wrapped him a big hug from behind him. I asked him to please look at his friends he said “no! I’m crying”
I lifted my head to Jeremyuh “he said no! I’m crying! Would you please?” Amd I pointed to his eyes and gestured in front of baby face’s face… then I covered baby face’s eyes “I feel your tears as a mommy”
“No you’re not a mommy! You’re just a friend and a bad one at that! You’re just a house cleaner and get off my face! It’s mine!”

Brian got angry for baby face to talk to me that way and he stormed over and demanded I uncover baby face’s eyes. I did as asked “now look I’m mad!”
And stood and swatted Jeremyuh with a news paper “Jeremy it’s your turn!”
“Alright cover my eyes and make sure they aren’t yours and they stay mine”
Jeremyuh was happy sad it was funny still but depressing and strange and sad. He had a very mixed look on his face. One we had never really seen.. he always had his face into the TV and he had acne scars that seemed to bother him more often than not. And he wished he had as beautiful clear skin as baby face and he said that and added “I will always look old but you will always look young”

I didn’t know that Jeremyuh felt that way about his skin and for him to say it to his friend a deep dark insecure secret, it made me bury my face in baby face’s neck with tears. Baby face turned around surprised and I coveted my face just in the exact same manner as he did … so if there was a dust storm and something blew into my eye.
“Let me see you are you okay?”

I nodded and I said “i didn’t know that Jeremyuh felt that way about his skin!” And I gave Jeremyuh a hug who doesn’t like to be touched… and he pushed me off. “Stop stop I don’t like anyone hugging on me”

Baby face was surprised and pleased “he did the same thing to you!” And he pointed at me
“Yeah yeah Jeremyuh doesn’t like to be touched and that’s okay and you want your nose back” I touched the tip of his nose “there it’s back” and “there that’s mine” I touched the tip of my nose

And so like a random plastic surgeon I felt Brian’s nose and said “hey I took your nose kid want it back?”

And finally he got the joke
And Jeremyuh grabbed him by the shoulders and looked into his eyes “thanks for kneeing me in the groin kid I know that if anything ever happen when we are on the street you can hold your own”

He said a weepy but smiling blushy “thanks you know I got you”

“And I got you what Sabrina said when I looked into your eyes just now I saw two very deep black holes leading down into your very soul. Now it wasn’t fair what Sabrina did but she did it because she cares. She doesn’t want you to be afraid of us. You’re always staying in your room ‘no I got work’ but when I ask you how your cases are you say “fine”“

Baby face got angry then he said that that’s what Jeremyuh told him too!

"Well if you’re going to get pissed off I’m going to get pissed off too! I gave you in quarter! You call one time that’s it and you cashed in 5 dollars and left it sitting here in quarters? That’s your money! Am I important to me? You betcha! And I’m important to you! Otherwise I wouldn’t had that money to give back to you!”

Baby face wanted to call me a bitch the whole time I spoke

Brian said that it was time to go.
We all piled in our cars i went with Brian
Jeremyuh got $20 from baby face because I was a horrible bitch. And he went to the video game store to buy an extra game controller

Baby face got in his car and finally the angel spoke to him, while we all listened “she gave you all that money because you’re more important than a quarter if she had given you only the quarter that’s all you would had had to spend but instead she gave you quantity and you chose quality. I hold you in my arms and I give you the greatest gift - of all time - my patience. It was just a joke you had your face the whole time! Nothing ever changed! Your face is yours and only yours to keep forever! No one would take that from you”

Gold baby face was so angry! “Yeah you fucking did! All you fucking did and I hate you!”

“Poor baby face now what am I going to do with this twenty dollars? Oh I know I’ll buy a new game cube controller! He likes my game he’s always watching it and he asks to play so we switch off but it would be better if it was two players!”

Meanwhile Brian is steaming that baby face tried to punch him and insulted me. So I took his hand and I cried and I said “baby face is our friend. He’s supposed to cook tonight but let’s order pizza”

“No!! Hell no! Absolutely not!”

“Okay then when I get home I’m leaving you in the car to a moment to yourself”

“No! No you’re not leaving me in the car! I want to make out!

"Then we can get the pizza?” So what? Then I whored myself out to get my friend a night off from cooking. Hell I probably saved the whole house he was so angry he probably would have poisoned us!

Jeremyuh had covered the tube of pore cleanser with black electrical tape
It took us awhile to get baby face to calm down but Jeremyuh told him to open it up and see what it truly was
“But it was white! This isn’t the tube!”

“Hey you can have it. Try it on yourself when no one is looking..try rubbing it if you’re afraid.. they ordered pizza tonight and I told Sabrina to make sure it was pepperoni so we can call me pizza face from now on. And Brian told her no way in hell was she ordering pizza but when I drove up they were half naked and practically fucking to calm Brian down and he still said no so she’s paying the $30 for the pizza from her own money”

“But she never pays for anything! And always she asks if she can spend it and you give it to her!”

“Because that’s hers! And i.. i…” he started to cry… “baby face I’m sorry” and he covered his face “she whored herself out for pizza! I’ll pay”

“No I’m no whore your my hubby,” I moved to sit next to baby face on the couch, I always sat on the ottoman and Brian in the chair, baby face got the couch and liked to lay down and him and Jesse took turns laying on the floor by my feet or on the couch “look baby face this bottle is white it’s covered in electrical tape”

Baby face asked could I sit by him while we ate. I looked around the room and I asked Brian “you come sit here and Jeremyuh on the floor or the other chair”

“Well sure!”

And I let Brian pay for the pizza… with a little help from Jeremyuh.

After that we found out what a kitchen table is used for… only Brian was the ome who always/ever used it in the morning for his cup of coffee and morning paper usually while I slept or watched TV unless it was the weekend.
One day chubby baby face McGee said “I’m tired of being fat! Let’s get rid of the kitchen table and put in a home gym!”
Brian started to argue.. I led them away from each other cause they were both lit to fists.
“Let’s try eating dinner on it like we are supposed to”
Ironically baby face who had a tendency to emotionally eat started losing weight because he was happier
And of course he blamed my black magic.. the same kind that stole his face!

But eventually the angel reveled what she had been showing him that his face was indeed missing just in his head. In the mirror it was fully there. And he studied himself long and hard and payed himself compliments that he wanted to hear.

But it was the same ones over and over and the angel had said nice things that he had never noticed like his ears.
So one evening we sat long into the night saying things that we thought negatively about ourselves.
I never felt anything negative about my body. So Jeremyuh said to say something inside that sometimes hurts me or bothers
“Sometimes Jeremiah I feel I don’t love baby face enough, he needs a ma, a stable person in his life to give him love he die a not ask for, sometimes Jeremyuh for you, I feel… I sense your stability all the time and it helps me alot and I feel I don’t do enough to repay you. Jesse you and I are alright. Brian sometimes I feel I don’t have enough patience for you”
And I spoke honestly and from the heart and suddenly Jesse started to cry, then Jeremyuh, baby face said “what the hell?!” And started crying up too when he saw Brian getting misty eyed
So I went to jesse and gave him a hug and then Jeremyuh and Baby Face then to Brian my husband in the order that they all started to cry
I sat down I felt so much lighter “Okay who wants dessert?!”

Then Jesse tried to bully baby face into not getting dessert because he was going to take it all
And baby face was all teary and pouty
“Jesse you will get yours last then” I told him
Baby face was surprised and watched me very angry and protective over his pie, carefully to make sure that Jesse didn’t try to take it

I took like a fifth of the pie… it looked like it was bigger than anyone else’s but I didn’t want to wash another plate

Brian got up and got me a plate “no you’re not doing that”

Which made everyone laugh
And then Brian helped me wash the dishes that night while Jesse sat on the kitchen counter and gabbed eventually he helped dry and put away we had a dishwasher but it was a nice family time.

If you keep throwing parts in a box under the workbench pretty soon a gun will pop out. Slapped this little dude together this morning. Started off with a @noveske_llc 10" upper from my buddy Tim Dillon. I found a #Noveske Gen 1 lower to match on #GunBroker Stuffed it with a @geissele trigger, #RCA Low Mass BCG & a Raptor charger & #Springco spring Fitted it with a carbon Fiber fixed stock from Stronghold Innovations in Australia. (I’m digging fixed stocks more and more) Also threw on a @tangodowninc Foregrip and hand stop and a New 4 prong muzzle brake my HAMC friend Angelo sent me. Capped with some #JJFU flip up sights from #Troy also can’t forget the 2-point sling from Red Rock Outdoor gear & @xproducts 50 rd Drum mag. This little sumbitch shoots Awesome! I’ll probably trade it for a 72’ Nova #jessejames #madeintexas (at Hill Country)

Baby Face & Jesse: they’re all asking me if she is going to be president and she can’t even operate a microwave to heat a lean cuisine On half power for 9 minutes! It took her 10 minutes to figure out how to set the power level and it was right there on the label…

Me: well at least I remembered it was on the label

Jesse: that was funny you had to go back to read the blog to see what the blog was about because you knew there was another tag you wanted to use but you couldn’t remember what and it was amnesia!

Flushing out the dirt

I used to be really close with the Angel of Guiding Light and she would tell me to do crazy shit too…. just real michevious…
I stayed home all day and the boys worked and I couldn’t clean the house more than it was…

I cooked and cleaned and I watched TV and read books but I was bored!

So she told me one day go to the store and get a blackhead facial treatment and put it on one of the boys
So I did… and I asked her “Jeremyuh?”

“Yeah yeah go ahead!”

He always sat on the floor playing video games this was back in the day where they were wired… so they had a cord to the console..

And I crawled down on my hands and knees past the coffee table into his line of vision

“What are you doing?” He smiled at me “is she up to no good?” He asked the Angel she was a regular around the house and me.

“no no I wouldn’t know anything. Show him what you have in your hand honey” she answered

“It’s a pore cleansing mask, would you like to put it on?!” I showed him

“Would I ever!? Let me put it on pause” so we did a total girly thing and we sat in thr living room floor putting on pore cleansing masks

He used one before and so we had some quality time… and then he was all “but you know who hasn’t? Baby face. His skin is perfect! Baby face come here, go get him!”

So I run up to his room all excited and I’m all “baby face! Baby face! We have something cool to show you!” He was laying around being sleepy and so I grabbed his hand and tugged
“What are you two?”
“Look at me. Look at my face the angel has something to show you and me come on!”

“Come on down here” Jeremyuh bellowed from the floorboards

So I let him sit on the couch while I applied the pore cleansing mask. And then Jeremyuh called him to sit next to him on the floor.

Jeremyuh and I rubbed our masks off to exfoliate at the same time and so I said that we had to peel off Baby face’s

I said “Man I put it on thick too! Okay ready? It won’t hurt! I’ll just pull very gently me and Jeremyuh were too scared to!”

So then baby face got nervous “wait what do you mean you were scared to!”

“I get nervous” I closed both my eyes slow that is a sign when I’m not feeling well and I just need time to lay in bed without thoughts “but I’m okay now, no shakiness”

“Okay but remember you wrecked my car”

“I know and you need to remember it too, ready?”

I was going to pull from the chin up but I did it from the forehead down like the angel told me to…

So Jeremyuh was telling him all these near lies that we had done when we wore our masks…

I got a mirror and I told him “look see? You face is all shiny now but everything will be okay. I’m sure! Okay ready?”

“Ready!” Replied Jeremyuh and the Angel

I took a deep breath and steadied myself some was over exaggeration but I was nervous he wouldn’t freak out

“What’s she going through?” Baby face asked the angel

“You’ll see in just a minute” she said

So I peeled it off in sections, “here this is your face”

And Jeremyuh explained it was blue because that’s the ethereal color of our skin

And Jeremyuh said “Man that’s cool! You can see all your facial tissue and cartilage!”

I sat on my feet “I don’t see anything all I see is black it’s like a black hole” I didn’t lie–I was looking into his pupil.

The angel had told us to look at him before he looked in the mirror and warned us not to lie and so we didn’t

And he took the mirror and looked at himself and he was nearly about to cry cause he was all “all I see is me! But you guys don’t?”

“Go out into the street and see what people see!” Advised Jeremyuh who actually understood why the angel set us up to do it

“Okay someone come with me” he asked

“No way I ain’t going out with someone in a black hole in their face”

“And I ain’t going out with someone with their muscles all exposed and in a muscle t shirt!” Announced Jeremyuh

“What’s wrong with my shirt?!” Asked Baby Face McGee

“It’s red and that’s my color!”

It was actually Jeremyuh’s shirt. The angel told me how to sort laundry I think they knew. And we all lived together so it didn’t matter. Usually after the next wash it was replaced

“actually you can keep it! You’ll need it after this”

“Why what’s going on?”

“Get in your car and drive down to the store and ask people what they see when they look at into you, Jeremyuh will be your best call witness if you need help call for him and at the store there’s a phone let me ask Brian for some pay phone money” it was the 90s.

“What in the fuck is going on?!” He was all in a daze I has woken him up running up the stairs

Brian had been in the bedroom so when he heard me getting baby face he got dressed and slid down the banister, then with his newspaper and cup of coffee walked out of the kitchen like he hadn’t witnessed

“Hey! What do you see about me?! What’s going on here!” He was getting so teary eyed

Brian waved his hand to baby face’s left side and then over his head and out the right side like his hand had went through his head “i don’t see anything at all! You don’t have a head sir”

“But the mirror says I do!”

Brian said I could get money from my jar I kept on the fridge so I gave him a quarter and I asked him how much money that was in numbers

He said “25”

“Okay so you get $25 then”

“That’s you cleaning my room for a whole month!”

“plus a week and a quarter. You better love her when you come back” said Brian

I knew he didn’t want to go out but he took the money fairly grumpy thinking that we were just messing around but at Brian’s reminder he smiled. And he remembered I just drove his car into the garage door I didn’t just wreck it. There wasn’t even a dent just a tiny one on the garage door but his car was fine and we pretended like it was a huge ordeal

So he went out and asked people “what do you see about me and my face”

His favorite response was “you’re not ugly”
But each and every response was different they all tuned into a different quality of him.. he said he was glad he went alone so he could feel the impact of the responses.
He was gone until dark and we started to worry.

He said after an hour at the store he realized what the angel’s purpose was and he alone stood at the convenience store announcing what people looked like that day what he noticed about them.
And then every Saturday and sometimes Sunday after that’s what he did, stood at the convenience store Door and told people their qualities he could see.

We used to do it in NYC and he missed it. He became quite famous in our little community.
He had been getting depressed and my compliments had been getting old.

He said he really didn’t know what people saw when they looked at him until that fateful day. And he received so many compliments he felt like he may not even been liked, even at home… things were dull for him… work… sleep…. eat.

I think out of all of us he was the most vulnerable. The most worried the one who felt unnoticed and unloved and wanted to share it deeply but not knowing how or where

His confidence boosted greatly. I cleaned his room and instead of his weights thrown in the corner on a pile of food packages he had them next to his bed and he lifted while watching TV
I told him “eventually you’re not going to want me to clean in here you’ll want to get your aerobics in”
“Yeah let me try that! Is that why you’re the way you are?”
“Bending over constantly, trims my tummy the angel said” I told him “I’m really quite proud of you, your face is changing and everything”
“Wait don’t say THAT! SIT sit on the floor!”
“But I’m cleeeaning but alright. You look so excited”
“I haven’t gone this week or last, but I was thinking what if you went with me?!”
“And Jeremyuh and Brian”

And we went quite a few times and it was funny once… because Brian died from nervousness. He doesn’t like to be judged people are always wrong about him… and then I died to check on Brian in the ambulance and so then Jeremyuh and Baby Face asked people “what do you think about this dead body here?!”

It was funny as shit! And that’s how we found the murderer. He was all over my body touching it and shit like really into it.

and Jeremyuh got compliments that he had never received before like his eyes and muscles. And so did Brian and I the eyes were the most compliments we received and we kept a tally of them. And we learned by association who were what type of people by getting to know them and interacting.
We practically knew the whole town it seemed

So we would do different stuff like complimenting people before they went in the store and then sometimes after just to switch it up
and we tried different ways to compliment people

All I wanted someone to do was scream cause their face came off! So I could laugh at them… together of course
But it became to be a miraculous thing

And baby face became so ripped we couldn’t say he had the cheeks of a little fat baby anymore… and he even went swimming and tried surfing in Florida with his shirt off.

It’s true people don’t see what you see about yourself “a lazy fat fuck that doesn’t even clean his room” to me is someone who has something better to do… I always told Baby face that people would love him no matter his size…

One day in Florida I told him “i don’t love you anymore. You’re too skinny”
He laughed and he admitted that he had been obsessing about his looks again…
He looked worried
And he made my eyes tear and I told him “I love you no matter what, fat, skinny, dead, alive, even when you’re mean to me! Which you NEVER are but if you were I would love you anyway” and I told him to give me a hug and I cried… like a happy cry and he smiled real huge and told Jeremyuh “she told me she loves me, what do you feel?”

And he said “go down to the taco bell and ask other people”

“Alright I will”

He said he wasn’t doing THAT again

And so Jeremiah said to go to piggly wiggly…

But he didn’t instead him and Jesse James walked down to taco bell top less and paid compliments and some hooker bitch bought Jesse James a taco.

Alright it was me… I did it.. but he said no one else offered them food except for me. But he lied… people did offer them food so much that baby face couldn’t fit into his pants!

Happy 4th Everyone…Only 11 more days till the 15th!!!! Do they take WIC at Fireworks stands?? #USA #jessejames (at Summit Motorsports Park)

Fair Fight

Me: baby face I can’t believe you all spouted to my neighbor that he needs to mow my lawn. Why don’t you do it?

Jeremyuh: like I used to?

Me: and you took out the trash. Baby face did you even have any chores?

Jeremyuh: he paid me to do them

Me: how come I didn’t get paid to do laundry?

baby face: look at her, she’s all you owe me back payment

Jesse: that was your weekly chore everyone had one. I was supposed to clean the garage but I never did it until Brian busted me making you do it in the heat while I sat and drank koolaid and I got in big trouble and had to watch you two have sex and I couldn’t touch my penis and Brian held my hands down

Brian: with my foot he was not happy

Me: Good

Jesse: and then I had to make koolaid everyday for a week because I really wanted to touch my penis

Me: I didn’t drink kool-aid

Jesse: I know! It was for me! Not for you or anyone else and you know what you did? You found the biggest icest glasses in the kitchen and every hour on the hour when the clock chimed you would go gather all glasses and refill them and deliver to the people in the house. One by one. And I watched you and it’s realized that you were really fucking smart by making that my new chore.

Me: and Brian hid the koolaid just so you would go to the store and buy some more and then as you made it he hid some until you were throughly confused

Jesse: I was upset I thought you were making koolaid behind my back

Jeremyuh: you never realized Sabrina only did what she had to or was asked. That was funny too when you expected Sabrina to make some and you were all bellowing “SABRINA IT’S YOUR TURN!” And Brian pulled it out of the cabinet

Brian: I told them “I get a lot of shit for having Sabrina do alot around the house but I do pay her but you Jesse not one have you ever given that girl money” so he gave you a one dollar bill and you put it in her bra and I told you not to accept it and you know what you did? You climbed up on the table and started stripping and you got your boobs all in his face and said “is this what it takes to get money from you?” And then that’s when it’s decided he was going to pay for you sex $100 an hour in advance

Me: and he had to pay me extra if

Brian: I made you wetter than he did. Shit you got $1000 that night!

Jesse: I was paying in advance

Brian: and you know what she did? She stayed dry and you were supposed to give her another $1000 but you didn’t so I said you only paid for 5 hours and Sabrina said

Me: I should be an escort and be paid $100 an hour just to be in the same room with him

Jesse: she was smart man, she was fucking smart. I was so embarrassed I wouldn’t tell anyone

Jeremyuh: but I asked

Baby face: and i went and got $20 just for you to hold my hand during dinner

Brian: oh I got pissed

Me: so I gave him a hug instead and I took that $20

Jeremyuh laughs: yeah you did

Me: and I put it in my bra on Brian’s side of the table cause I knew Brian would kick his ass

Baby face: I did try to get my money tho she put up a good fight

Brian: all she did was lay down on the empty chair next to her so she wouldn’t be in the way of my fist And you looked at my face and ran behind me and around the table to your spot and she held my hand during dinner for free while I gave you the death glare all night

Baby Face: I liked living on the edge but I was so confused how did I lose $20?

Jesse: I lost $1000 and I owe her like $100,000 more so consider yourself lucky it was a $20

Me: hey where is that $1000? I need it

Brian: it’s in the bank or no you bought a car with it

Me: I don’t think so Brian I’m sure you bought the car

Brian laughs: but I didnt! You did

Me: I’m pretty sure someone if not everyone owes me money and they need to pay up

And you know what the best part was? Jesse asked me to help him but he had that “no good” look on his face and so I called Brian on the upstairs phone and I said one word “garage” and I hung up. And so I won hahaha

Dirty Sprite Squad.
#jessejames #gang #dirtyspriteforever #lean