Dear Josh.

I’m sorry you can’t read this, but if you could I would want you to know that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for acting weird. I’m sorry for being a little clingy. It’s just that I’m paranoid. I’m a little bit insecure and I’m absolutely terrified of losing you again. I’m sorry, but I just haven’t been the same girl I was before you went missing. I want to get back to that.


my internet is being wonky and I can’t seem to reply to your ask. But don’t worry, it was fine. That was just my brother overreacting a bit because he was worried about it. Besides, I made it home without being completely dead. Plus, I spent today sleeping and watching Sherlock. 

…and eating ramen since my stomach can’t tolerate much else right now.

Here, have a little mouse instead of me today. :3

alright guys


this is jessica (

i KNOW you’ve heard me talk about her before. 

she’s one of my best friends.

i honestly do not know what i’d do without her.

i’ve been at her house since wednesday, and i’m probably going to be here until monday or tuesday hohohohhehehhoh c:

i love her so much okay. we’ve known each other for about five years now. we’re both in color guard, that’s how we met actually. I;m always with her, or meghan. or them both. 

she’s always been there for me okay. through everything. like when i moved? she sat there and told me she’d come visit me as much as she could. she told me i’d be fine at my school.

when i had problems with my self esteem or eat or anything? she sat there and cried knowing how i felt about myself or the things i had done. 

then she helped me through it all, and told me i was fine, and i was beautiful just the way i am. cause i was born diz wayy ~*~*~* 

but anyway


i really am not sure where i’d be without her. we sit and laugh all the time and go on pointless drives. we’ve been bestfriends for what seems like ever and i don’t see that changing anytime soon. we have it planned that we're going to be in each others weddings and be old ladies together and knit. 

she just, she’s always there for me to cry to, or make me laugh, i mean or just sit on our couches all day and do nothing. but we’re perfectly fine with that. we can sit in complete silence and it not be awkward. when you can do that, you know you’re best friends.

i’m pretty sure she knows almost everything about me, and she still loves me and is still my best friend.

i would honestly do anything for her. if it wasn’t for her, i’m not sure where i’d be right now. either sick, or in with the wrong crowd, or hell, i might even be dead.

but because of her, i’m here and i’m perfectly fine. and i hope that she knows how much she means to me and how much i love her.

how beautiful i think she is on the inside and out.

how much of a bestfriend she is and that i would do ANYTHING FOR HER . 

I love you jessica, 

and, not only are you my best friend, but you are my sister. <3333333333



best friend and i stayed up til about six in the morning and talked about how i just don’t /do/ relationships

like, i said that i can’t picture myself being with a guy for longer than a handful of months

and then she said, “maybe a girl then??”

and i’m super touched by it because she just took it in stride and we were sharing a twin bed and the fact that i may like girls didn’t faze her whatsoever

i just love her so much tbh :’)

today, this total loser (who once made sit in the restroom with her while she took a bath to help her razor burn) turner nineteen.

now, i’m not at all exaggerating when i say that my life would be totally different without jessica in my life. she’s been my friend since she came from alien town, new mexico our sophomore year of high school. and i count myself as so incredibly lucky to be friends with a person that cares so much about her friends and will offer help to them in a heartbeat if they need it.

she’s been with me through so much. jessica was there when i was the lonely girl in theatre. she was there when i was temporarily kicked out of my house. she was there when i thought, “hey, maybe i’m not as straight as i originally thought.” throughout it all, i’ve always been confident that she has my back. i would probably (most likely) help her cover up a crime scene if she needed it.

today, she turned nineteen. and it was a happy day. if anyone ever tries to hurt her and ruin her happy days, i will destroy them. she’s my best friend and i love the loser.

it is now 11:59 and i only have one thing left to say, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.