aka heads or tails short #2
summary: It was going to take me a lot more than a few minutes to figure out this problem, wasn’t it?
pairings: ervia brotp, jellalvia brotp, jerza, minor gruvia. mainly brotps.
sidenote: dedicated to hotrodren , happy birthday mom!! s-sorry i meant to finish this last night but i saw a picture
of chris pratt and got distracted for like four hours forgive me mother for i
have sinned. (i wanted to write something way cooler but im a nerd so pls accept this as your birthday pres)
I gave my forehead a much needed kneading. Why were
headaches always specifically targeted to parts of my brain? Right now I had a killer
migraine, but only right above my right eye. Is this what cancer feels
My inner questioning was interrupted by my computer buzzing.
Erza was calling.
I clicked answer and her fuzzy (but still beautiful) face
appeared on my screen. Her long red hair was tightened into a low ponytail, but
she had flyaways mingling outside of the hair tie and she still looked like an
“Help meeee,” she demanded, making an unpleasant face
“Ugh. With what?” I asked, doodling in my science workbook
“Calculus!” She interjected. Of course. Calculus was
something I was surprisingly good at (I mean, as far as being ‘good’ at
calculus went, I was no Steven Hawking, but I could bring home the bacon).
I searched for my calculus notebook before my computer
buzzed again. Guh. Jell-lame wanted to join our conversation. I hit
accept and his face appeared.
“What’s up?” He asked. His hair was matted down and he
looked like he had just taken a swan dive into the public pool.
“Please tell me that’s not sweat.” I begged, retrieving my
notebook and flipping to the page where my assignment was supposedly written
(if I had even done it yet, of course).
“Nah. Just took a shower.” He informed. Gross.
“Hm. What number do you want help on, Erz?” I asked
absent-mindedly. My notebook was messier than usual, about half of the problems
were done, and towards the end you could tell that I had started to run out of
steam and the letters had become garbled and nonsensical.
“32.” She requested, leaning over her computer like she
could somehow see my notebook through the screen. It’s a damn good thing she’s
Huh. I hadn’t done that one yet.
“Just give me a second.” I said whipping out my textbook and
squinting at the problem.
My mind wasn’t exactly into the calculus either. I’m
pretty sure my mind was on permanent vacation on Gray
He was literally all I could think about and it made me want to give
myself a total frontal lobotomy with my purple correcting pen.
I began writing some stuff down in y notebook from the problem.
I heard myself sigh. It had been only a day since I’d spent the night a la casa
de Fullbuster and I still couldn’t throw my mind into some other gutter. I mean
– geez, one guy can only be so interesting, you know?
I looked down on my paper and realized I had written ‘Gray
Fullbuster’ in the area where I usually show my work. Fuck.
“Juvia? Are you done yet?” Erza asked impatiently.
“For god’s sake Erza – I’m doing Calculus, not
microwaving hot pocket. Chill.” I
drawled, erasing Gray’s name in a rush and directing my focus back to math.
Math. Math. Meth.
See? Already distracted.
“Ugh, Erza, why don’t you get some nerd to do your
homework for you?” I moaned, sinking my face into my calc book in defeat. Math
“Because you explain it better.” She said, in a duh
tone that made my want to reach through the monitor and strangle her with
her long, luxurious ponytail.
“Yeah, but you could just go up and seduce a nerd. Easy.” I
pointed out. Jellal looked momentarily confused.
“And how would I go about doing that, genius?” Erza snarled.
“Oh come on, all you’d have to do is walk right up to
some extra-credit snorting asshole, give their arm a touch with your
boobs and you’ve got them on a leash for life.” I informed, like an asshole.
“Whoa – people are getting titty-tapped?” Jellal asked, Heh.
That’s funny, I’m totally calling it that now…
“Nobody’s getting titty-tapped.” Erza said sourly,
ruining the groupchat mood.
“I wanna get titty-tapped,” Jellal volunteered himself,
curiously peering at us through the monitor like we were handing them out, free
“I wish I could just…reach right through the
computer…” Erza mocked a strangling motion towards Jellal. He looked less than
“Oh hey, Juvia, I forgot to ask – why’s Lucy so pissed at
you?” Jellal asked, the juicy bit of gossip obviously making its way throughout
the school right about now.
“I indirectly sabotaged her relationship with Natsu. No
biggie.” I answered. I wasn’t going to lie to them, no good had really ever
come from me doing so.
“Ah.” He responded dryly. “I see.”
“Shut up Jellal, I need answers!” Erza screeched, shaking
her computer so it looked like San Andreas paradise down at Erza’s place.
“Yeah Juvia, get crackin’. That calculus ain’t gonna do
itself.” Jellal took Erza’s side instantly, turning to me to tame his monster
of a girlfriend.
“I will shut this computer.” I threatened. Neither of them
took me remotely seriously.
“Shut up and work your goddamn nerd brain!” Erza
successfully booed. Of course. I love my friends.
“Work it! Work it!” Jellal chanted, proving to distract me
“God, would you two shut the hell up?” I asked, annoyed.
They just laughed, god, they are honestly such turdfucks. I can’t believe I
actually put up with them.
“Hey, oh! You’re going to state on Friday, right?” Jellal
asked, his attention span not nearly big enough to contain a teaspoon of salt.
I felt myself grin nonetheless. “Yeah. My dad got so excited
– he went all out, we’re staying at a hotel and everything.”
“Fan-cay.” Erza commented, forgetting about the calculus as
well. “I wish could go, my parents would
never let me skip anymore school though,” she said, referring to the fact that
gymnastics took up a lot of her school time already.
“I might be able to go, I just gotta convince my dad.”
Jellal said. Erza looked slightly horrified.
“What? No! You can’t leave me all alone!” Erza yelled.
Jellal smiled a having the upperhand, I imagine that doesn’t happen much when
you’re in a relationship with a woman like her.
“Erza, god, you need to stop being so clingy! I know
that you need me more than I need you, but-“
“Oh, just shut up, dingus!”
I smiled. I really wished I could have a relationship like
them someday, one where you ca aimlessly joke till the cows come home, or just
stay home and cuddle all day. Fuck these two idiots. They don’t realize how
good they’ve got it.
“Juvia? Did you hear what I just said?”
Huh. Nope. Too busy dreaming of Gray Fullbuster, dripping in
“Hm?” I asked, indicating that I had not been listening even
in the slightest bit.
“I asked what your prom plans were. I heard Lis was gonna
try and have a party at her place, well it’s Elfman’s party technically,
but still. Are you gonna go?” Erza repeated.
Oh yeah. I had forgotten all about prom.
“Um…maybe, I don’t know. You?” I cursed myself a second
after asking. Of course they were going! Jellal was freaking out about it last
week…I wonder if he’d asked her yet…
“Well, yeah, I mean, Jellal’s taking me.” Erza brushed off.
Jellal looked a little bit terrified. He must not have asked her yet.
“You still have to ask me, by the way.” She reminded to
Jellal. He let out a sigh f relief and nodded. I wonder if he was gonna go with
my dirt box idea.
“…Did you figure out the calculus problem yet?” Jellal
inquired, probably just to grind on my nerves.
“Wha…of course not, you dingy moron, I’ve been
talking the whole time!” I defended.
“Nobody gave you permission to talk!” Erza said hotly.
“Nobody gave you permission to be a bitch, but
you seem to be taking to that just fine!” I shot back, rather proudly. I
could be hilarious when I wanted to.
“This just in; Erza being a bitch? The answer may surprise you, tonight at nine.”
Jellal reported, holding a comb up to his mouth like it was a microphone.
“Shut up – both of you! If I don’t figure out this problem,
I’m gonna rip my own hair out!” Erza moaned.
“Well god forbid – Erza, you’d look terrible as
a bald person.” I said as I began actually working on the problem.
“She’s right you know. I’d still love you, though.” Jellal teased.
Erza turned redder than her hair and I almost puked my guts out. They weren’t
allowed to be cute on my time.
“Ok, I know how to get the answer for this problem, just
give me a few minutes to actually get the answer,” I updated, Erza’s face
“Thank god, Juvia, I was beginning to think you weren’t
contributing anything to this friendship circle.” She said. I felt a little bit
offended, fake offended of course.
“What? I am the epicenter of this friendship circle,
“You wish – obviously I’m the epicenter.”
“Shut up, Jellal, nobody asked for your opinion.”
“Ouch. Rude.” Jellal said to his girlfriend.
It was going to take me a lot more than a few minutes to
figure out this problem, wasn’t it?