jerry douche

“You gots da’ goo Snas?”

“yep, sure do lil’ bro. what’re we doing with this again..?”

“We gots to put up help wanted posters all over town cause’ dumb douche Jerry made me lose my job as the tooth fairy. She still on vacation and doesn’t know baby’s been weighed off so-”

“who’s the tooth fairy?”

I feel like I’ve heard that name somewhere before…

“*Sigh* I keeps TELLIN’ you Snas!” said Papyrus exasperated. “She’s da’ fairy that takes the toothies! Why I learns to talk if you’s not gonna listen?!”

“you were BORN talking papyrus-”

“Shut it up and gives baby da’ goo, I needs it for gwitter.”

“watch your tone, also glitter..? where are we gonna find freaking glitter? unless you know an actual fairy, i’m pretty sure you’re outta luck there lil’ bro…”

“I DO knows a another fairy and I knows where they live too! I heard-ed Daddy talking bout’ them wit da’ king.”

Sans looked at his brother curiously. “for real? there’s a real fairy down here?”

No way…

It was true the Underground was full of various monsters of many types, but there were some that simply didn’t exist anywhere but in story books. Vampires, witches, mummies, and other such things were all make-believe…weren’t they?

We haven’t explored the entire Underground yet. Maybe fairies DO exist…  

“They lives in Waterfall by the ghostie-house. Daddy complained on da’ phone cause’ he didn’t want to make something for them. He lazy like you big Buther!”

“wow a real fairy…” said Sans, not really paying attention.

Pap is a liar, but he wouldn’t go through all this trouble unless there was something in it for him. Maybe this whole tooth fairy thing is an excuse to visit his fairy friend…

“You gots to help wit the goo cause’ my widdle hands is too weak to squeeze da’ bottle and my udder hands too strong and they make too much goo come out the top-”

“is she hot?”

“Nyeh?”

“the fairy, is she hot?”

“…..”

“what?”

“…..You see dis? Dis right here? Dis why no one love you cept’ the baby Snas.”

“what’d i say?!”

“You’s not allowed to go wit me no more, you’s gonna em-bare-ass…”

“whatever you bossy little prick, i’ll go wherever i want!”

Who the hell does he think he is?!

“Don’t you scu dis up for me Snas, I’s working hard over here!”

“again, like i said, WHATEVER. you said waterfall right? bet i get there faster than you!” exclaimed Sans teleporting away.

I’ll get the freaking glitter MYSELF!

“Yeah, I bets you gets punched in da’ face too,” muttered Papyrus beginning to draw a house on his blank sheet of paper.

SCRIBBLE..

SCRIBBLE…SCRIBBLE…

“Stupid, stink Buther, pissing me off…when baby wants a burger, you GIVES baby a burger. I fuks up your whole DAY!”

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Proof that Jerry Rouche (douche) shouts. He can’t fucking scream.