jeremy's flip


Michael: what? find my pun shockingly good?


Michael: Are you staring at me because I’m strikingly good looking?

Jeremy: Adios asshole

For Day 4 of @tazladyweek, Canon Divergence. Don’t get me wrong, I love NO3113 as a member of Team Sweet Flips, but I really want her to be able to go home and chill with her family as well, maybe have some fun being an auntie?

bmc characters as things my dad has done
  • michael: walked into a bathroom empty handed and came out an hour and a half later in a onesie
  • rich: screamed "RUDE" when a bonfire burned him and tried to kick it
  • jake: came home with a box full of fake lizards and told me their names, all of which were wicked characters
  • jenna: comes home everyday and lays on my bed and talks shit about his co-workers
  • brooke: was once found in only gym shorts behind the chicken coop eating frozen yogurt (this was before I was born)
  • jeremy: flipped off someone who offered to tell him what was "cool" and "uncool"
  • chloe: was once the most popular kid at school then ruined it by getting a mullet and dying his hair white-blonde
  • christine: recited every song of hamilton just so he could sing it on my birthday, when we went to see it in chicago
  • squip: made co-worker cry by telling him eminem was dead
  • mr. heere: forgot to put his pants on when he left for work
  • mr. reyes: ate five hot pockets in a day so that no one else could take them
(BMC) Mythical Creatures AU, pt 1: Boyf riends


This AU will be split into multiple parts.
First will be a bit of intro on the boyfs and their lives (that’s this), next will be the squip and maybe some RichJake, then it’ll all be random and ship based.
So…. Yeah!

I think I’ve seen one of these around before, but I don’t remember whose it was or what it was on— So if it seems like I’ve copied anything, please tell me! It definitely wasn’t intentional!!

Also, my ‘please give me stuff to do headcanons/parodies on’ plea is still a thing,,,,


Jeremy: Dryad
Michael: Satyr
Squip: Demon
Christine: Sphynx
Rich: Half-dragon
Jake: Incubus
Chloe: Succubus
Brooke: Cloud nymph
Jenna: Harpy


-Being a dryad is basically hell for Jeremy
-His lifeline is connected to some stupid pine tree that’s still only half grown and is found, more often than not, in various stages of wilting
-He can’t go more than a mile away from it either
-Well, he can, as long as he’s holding a twig from his tree
-Michael found out this loophole years ago, and Jeremy’s been using it ever since
-(He never asked Michael why he’d been carrying around a twig from his tree to begin with)
-Michael, as a satyr, eats a lot
-And he’s not picky as to what 'a lot’ includes
-He can eat anything, from wood to grass to cloth
-Once he ate some plastic hanging from Jeremy’s tree and had to be admitted to a hospital
-Jeremy was furious
-And guilty
-Michael also likes to eat soft drink cans
-He has a whole collection at home
-He lets Jeremy drink the inside, and then eats the can
-Jeremy’s a vegetarian
-Michael will only eat meat if there’s nothing else around
-Eating it makes him feel uncomfortable, being part goat and all
-Jeremy loves rain
-It feeds his tree and makes Michael smell like old wool
-Sometimes the two of them go for long walks in the rain because why not
-When they come back, Michael’s soaked and Jeremy looks like he’s never been better
-Jeremy also loves music
-Well, he loves Michael’s music
-Michael, as a satyr, can play some mean pipes— not to mention his guitar skills
-His music also is somewhat charmed
-When Jeremy’s tree was under attack by insects, Michael strummed a few notes and they all fled
-Speaking of fleeing
-Jeremy is 100% a runner
-He’ll wake up at 6:30 sometimes just for a run around the block
-He likes feeling the wind in his hair and his sandals (he hates closed-off shoes) slapping against the ground
-As a dryad, he’s also pretty damn fast
-Michael hates running
-His goat legs make it impossible
-He’s great at climbing though
-He loves to scuttle up places (usually with one of Jeremy’s belongings) then laugh when Jeremy can’t reach
-They’re both scared of fire
-Jeremy because if it gets anywhere near his tree, it could literally kill him
-Michael because if it gets anywhere near Jeremy’s tree, it could litetally kill Jeremy
-This makes it very easy for Rich, who’s literally half dragon, to taunt them
- 'Yo, Heere! Do you smoke? 'Cause I could light a cigarette for you with a breath!’
'U-uh, I’m fine, t-thanks’
'Oh riiiight, you’re part tree, aren’t you? Maybe sometime I’ll stop by your house and check your other half out. Spark things up a little!’
-Jeremy has a bit of a crush on Christine
-She’s a sphynx, and tends to speak in a really long riddley way
-Jeremy thinks it’s adorable
-He also tries not to stare at the way her tail swishes when she’s nervous or how her eyes gleam like gold or how she—
-Shit he’s in love
-But like…. He also likes Michael?
-But Michael’s a dude and probably uninterested??
-Life is complicated
-Welp, guess you could say he’s… Pine-ing
-Jeremy makes a lot of tree puns
-Michael rolls his eyes but secretely thinks they’re hilarious
-It’s not much of a secret
-He laughs every time Jeremy says one
-Jeremy once startles Michael into bleating
-Michael gets revenge the next day by decking Jeremy’s tree full out in Christmas lights
-And cramming the star on Jeremy’s head
-Jeremy doesn’t take it off for the rest of the day
-It’s June

anonymous asked:

Oh! If i can get kind of specific, and.. not andriel for once.. (clutches heart i love those boys though) would you be willing to do 34 with jerejean, as like, jeremy introducing jean to the rest of the team maybe?

34: “I’d like to apologize in advance for my crazy family”

He has these serious grey eyes, dull like pebbles blazed by heat. There’s the other stuff too, the broken hitch sideways of his nose, the spidering scars all over, like they’re coming straight from the hurt in his brain. 

Jeremy sees them and tucks his burning questions away for later. There are more important things to notice. Like how Jean has a very pretty mouth, an overfull upper lip that makes him look like he’s perpetually pouting. It matches the frown line that cuts his brow in two.

He’s seen Jean before, for minutes at most, passing ships at Exy banquets, one intense first meeting when Jean was hastily smuggled onto the USC lineup and Jeremy was asked to do some reconnaissance and a cursory meet and greet.

He’d gone to see Jean, carrying a USC sweater he’d stolen from the bin of spares at the court as a peace offering. Jeremy hadn’t been prepared for the single saddest looking person he had ever seen, stripped of the bravado he’d worn at Riko’s side, cut off from some sort of threat but clearly not from the fear. 

Jeremy had pressed the bundle of red and gold into Jean’s hands and Jean had suppressed a jump, worried his torn lip and accepted it gently, gently, as if Jeremy was handing him a bomb for disposal.

Jeremy was nervous, but he fought to scrape the waver from his voice. He’d ignored Jean’s fresh wounds, ignored the look on his face like he was going to get hit or lied to.

They’d spoken briefly about how they’d handle the media, about the superficial scheduling concerns but also the bone-deep concern for Jean’s life that hummed underneath, sickening and obvious. Jeremy was frighteningly aware of the game running adjacent to Exy, always, something deadly eating at their community. The way they were handling Jean’s transfer like it was an illegal exchange of goods, Neil and Kevin in the news with a new bandage every few months, Jean in front of him looking like someone’s make up practice for a horror movie. It was all unmistakable.

And those eyes. He’s worried they’re never going to have anything in them.

They’re on him now, unflinching, and Jean’s less of a twitchy raw wound then he had been that first time the two of them had spoken. Jeremy’s trying to keep his smile pinned up at both sides but he feels like one end keeps sagging. The airport is a streaky spill of reunions and rolled luggage and Jean hoists his single duffle bag and waits for Jeremy to move first.

“How was your flight?” Jeremy asks nervously, trying to steer them out towards the car without getting too close or asking too much.

“How are they usually?”

Jeremy shrugs, offset. “Uhh, I mean. Good or bad is usually the measure. No turbulence and free pudding versus babies and vomit.”

“I don’t like pudding,” Jean says, dead serious, and Jeremy smiles for real.

“Well I like babies, so. It was a flawed example.”

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BOYF RIENDS Headcanons #1; How they got together

♡ Jeremy and Christine dated for a couple months but then decided they would just be better as friends
♡ Jeremy also realizes he has feelings for another certain someone which is part of the reason the relationship wasn’t working
♡ Christine is a sweetheart and gives Jer some advice on how to get Michael
♡ “Just tell him how you feel.”
“I caN’T what if he thinks I’m a weirdo he’ll never talk to me again and then 12 years of friendships will go right down the drain and I’ll ruin everything and he’ll-” “Jeremy. He likes you.”
♡ Michael gives Jeremy a ride home from school everyday so the day Jeremy plans on telling Michael his feelings, he’s super nervous and Michael definitely notices
♡ “Hey, you cool man? You’ve been acting jittery and weird all day, like, more than usual.”
♡ “I love you”
♡ Michael just stares
♡ Jeremy flips out and is all “Oh my god i’m so sorry that was so uncalled for, I should probably go, I’m gonna go, fuck.” and then he starts speed walking away
♡ “Jer, wait.”
♡ Jeremy turns back around and he can’t really read Michael’s expression. Confusion? Disbelief? Is he offended? Is he going to make fun of him? Is he going to tell him to leave him alone forever? God, he can’t tell.
♡ Michael keeps staring for a second and then he mutters “You’re serious? You aren’t messing with me?”
♡ Jeremy tells him yes, he is serious, but keeps apologizing and saying he understands if Michael doesn’t want to be his friend anymore but stops talking mid sentence when Michael breaks out in the biggest smile ever
♡ “Holy shit, dude! I’ve liked you for forever!”
♡ “Wait what”
♡ Michael starts laughing, and then Jeremy starts laughing, then Jeremy runs back up to him and gives him a huge hug
♡ Michael pulls away first, and says “Can I kiss you?”
♡ Jeremy swear his heart actually stops. He leans in as an answer anyways.
~ Mod Rae

For the very sweet @orderly-opaline!! 

{From Michael Mell Is Mine} can u get a ride with rich or someone 2day? I’m not going in bc I’m sick

Jeremy stares hard at the text as if he can tear apart each word with his narrow gaze. While he knows Michael is familiar with text lingo thanks to multiple group chats, the latter rarely, if ever, uses it because he feels he’s more of a classic soul.

So, the shortened words are an instant trigger to Jeremy, and his thumb hovers over the “call” button as a tiny bolt of fear sparks at his heart. Michael isn’t the one who gets sick; that’s Jeremy’s job. In the time since they’ve known each other, Jeremy can count all of the times Michael has been sick on one hand. The boy is surprisingly healthy considering his poor eating and sleeping habits whereas Jeremy has lost track of the number of times he’s been laid up in bed fighting off some illness.

Instead of calling, Jeremy locks his phone and slips it into his pants pocket before dropping his backpack onto the floor. School can wait; Michael can’t.


The second Michael opens his front door, he’s already trying to push it back closed, but Jeremy stops it with a foot against the door frame.

“No, Jeremy.” Michael says in between chesty coughs. “You will get sick. Just go to school.”

Jeremy has to place both hands on the door as added force to keep it from closing in his face. “No, let me in.” He tries, voice holding an air of confidence that’s only faltering under a steady hint of worry.


“Michael Alexander Mell, you better open this damn door and let me in.”

There’s a long beat of silence that’s only filled with the worrying crackle coating each of Michael’s rasping breaths, but finally, Michael caves and opens the door wide enough for Jeremy to slip in.

“Bed,” Jeremy orders almost instantly, and Michael doesn’t even bother arguing because he doesn’t see the point when Jeremy shifts into “Ultimate Boyfriend” mode.

So, Michael just shuffles as if on autopilot as Jeremy guides him to the bedroom with a steady hand on his back. When he flops down on his bed with a low groan that causes a minor coughing fit, Jeremy is quick to lean forward and press a cool palm to his heated forehead.

“Have you taken your temperature?” Jeremy asks as he flips his hand and slides the backs of his fingers gently down to Michael’s cheek. There’s an evident trace of fever from the heat clinging to Michael’s skin, and a pit of worry settles deep within Jeremy’s stomach.

“No,” Michael manages in between grating coughs. “I don’t need to check to know I’m running a fever.” As if to emphasize his point, a sudden wave of chills seeps in through his glistening skin and settles deep within his bones until he’s shivering and tugging at his blanket.

Jeremy frowns deeply at this, and his forehead creases in concern. He helps get Michael tucked in before he drops down onto the edge of the bed with a sigh. “I hate seeing you like this.”

Michael slips one hand free to lace his fingers with Jeremy’s. “I’m not dying. It’s just a bad cold.”

“Still,” Jeremy presses as he brings Michael’s hand to his mouth to brush a gentle kiss across cold skin. “I’m going to take care of you so we can get this getting better process going.”

“You will get sick,” Michael says, tone flat and leaving no room for argument.

Jeremy knows this, but he could care less. Instead, he drops Michael’s hand and slips out of the room in search of a thermometer and medicine.


The following morning, Jeremy jerks awake from his phone ringing beside his ear. The loud tone bleeds into his head, mixing with the dull throb in an uncomfortable manner, and he grabs it and swipes to answer without checking who the hell would call this early in the morning.

“Hello?” He asks, voice cracking until he’s succumbing to a series of weak coughs slipping past his lips.

“I knew it.”

Jeremy shoots into a sitting position at the accusing tone. “Michael!?”

“You’re sick.”

A statement, and only that. But, Jeremy is going to argue because he’s not. He’s fine. “I’m-” he starts, only to be cut off by a series of sharp, frame-shaking sneezes.

“You were saying?”

“I might be a little sick,” Jeremy admits, voice small and soft in the midst of sudden defeat.

“I’m on my way.”

You’re A Fucking Hero

@discorded-noodle-popcorn asked: Fic request: it’s 3 in the morning when Jeremy gets a call from Michaels phone. He picks up, ready to give Michael a piece of his mind before calling him so early, when he realized the voice on the other line wasn’t Michaels. The unknown person is rambling frantically about the owner of the phone needing help and how Jeremy was the only emergency contact on this phone. Jeremy is instantly panicked.

What the.,.,.,hell noodle youre amazing??? This is some TOP tIER shIT lets get into it and remember you can always ask for a rewrite

When Jeremy woke up to the obnoxious sound of his phone buzzing over and over again on his nightstand his first thought was a very grump ‘fuck, that was a great dream too’. Now it wasn’t that Jeremy couldn’t wake up in the morning, usually he had an easy time running around at 6 AM to get ready for school and do…other things. But this was different, these were ungodly hours. At first he figured he would just ignore the phone but it kept fucking buzzing and it was driving him insane. He sat up a loud miserable groan, his eyes still squinting away the bleariness in his vision. He finally grabbed his phone and squinted down at the way too bright screen, the first thing he saw that is was 3 A-fucking-M and that instantly made him age about 30 years. The second thing he noticed was who was calling, “The Gay King”. Ah, Michael, that explains a lot.

He decided against ignoring his friend and sluggishly swept the green button, his phone felt so heavy when he was tired that he just put it to speaker, “Michael no offence dude but what the fuck-”

“Hello? Hello uh…! This isn’t- oh man- this isn’t Michael?”

Jeremy’s heart essentially stopped beating right then and there when he realized that wasn’t Michael’s voice. It was some female, probably around 20 years old who just kept rambling on and on and apologizing.

“Hello? Sir are you-”

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nowhere to run, part 1

Pairing: Jerome Valeska x Reader
Rating: T (for this chapter, M for the series overall)
Words: 1800
Summary: After escaping from Arkham, Jerome needs somewhere to hide out while the police search for him. Fortunately, there’s one person in Gotham he knows he can always count on. Well…maybe.

Nowhere to run to, baby, nowhere to hide
It’s not love I’m running from
It’s the heartbreak I know will come

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‘Best Friends, Apparently’ Part Six: A Chill Day (Michael M x Reader)

i have survived purely bc of feedback so P l e a s e dont be shy, tell me what u think of my work thank u! 

Word Count: 2521

Warnings: uuhh just swearing i think? 

part one    part two     part three    part four    part five    part seven    part eight 

You woke up in your bed, someone sitting next to you and a much less intense headache compared to the one you had woken up with the previous morning. Typically, upon waking up next to someone, you’d check to see who it was, maybe say good morning.

This morning you just ran to the bathroom. A large cup full of water and two aspirins were sitting on the counter, waiting for you as you finished vomiting, swearing quietly that you’d never touch alcohol ever again.

“You know, Michael was just as scared that you hated him as you were that he hated you,” Jeremy said from the doorway of your bathroom as you sat on the floor, reaching up for the water. You looked up at him, confused, as you took the aspirin. “You, well last night you kept saying how he probably hates you. You were crying about it for like two hours,”

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