jeremy hansen

Description of Broadway's  guys voices
  • Leslie Odom Jr.: A red velvet cupcake fresh out of the oven with cream cheese frosting in the middle
  • Lin-Manuel Miranda: That Dragon’s Egg Bath Bomb that just explodes with color when you drop it in the bath water
  • Daveed Diggs: Tap dancing. Just tap dancing but also rapping at the same time
  • Michael Arden: Butterflies in your stomach that are so strong you want to pull a Julie Andrews and start spinning happily in a circle
  • Andy Mientus: Fuzzy socks and hot chocolate by a warm fire with tons of blankets while having a Disney movie marathon
  • Aaron Tveit: The cold side of your pillow that feels oh-so-good in the middle of the night
  • Jeremy Jordan: Dressing in a cute outfit and strutting around while everyone is checking you out and you KNOW you look hot AF
  • Ben Platt: To take a bath with relaxing music and suddenly felt the heat in your body and your cheeks blushing
  • Darren Criss: When you adopt a new puppy, who has been living on the street starving, and now all you wanna do is wrap him in a blanket, cuddle and give him love
  • Jonathan Groff: That one commercial for Coca Cola that they play at Christmas Time that makes everyone laugh,smile, and cry
  • Alex Boniello: When you’re home alone and put on full concert mode very loudly with light, fume and special effects all over the room
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In case anyone wanted to know:
YES I LOVE MUSICALS!!!
👆And those are my current favourites👆

((It’s starkids fault that I ship quirrelmort so much bc of avpm))

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“ Dreams don’t come true ”

My Impressions of Male Broadway Stars

Andrew Rannells: The Pretty Boy™

Jonathan Groff: Cute. Ray of sunshine.

Lin-Manuel Miranda: An excited puppy. Also a ray of sunshine. Must be protected at all costs.

Corey Cott: dashingly handsome. 

Jesse Tyler Ferguson: ginger dad.

Jeremy Jordan: jawline

Ben Platt: Sweet Pup. A literal Bean, everyone loves him.

Mike Faist: a shaggy dog. 

Aaron Tveit: hot damn. his thighs make me w e a k

Chris Jackson: An Actual Dad and the Sweetest Guy Ever.

Leslie Odom Jr.: very classy, velvet voice that makes me feel things.

Christian Borle: Daddy. (have you seen his arms)

How to get into the Holy Trinity: Hamilton, Heathers, and Dear Evan Hansen. Ten easy steps.

Step one: Find out about Hamilton and halfheartedly listen to it.

Step two: This shit is goOD SHIT–

Step three: Coming down from the Hamilton hype a bit and you start listening to your other music again instead of Hamilton. Vulnerable to new musicals.

Step four: Hamilton blogs upload Heathers content. You check it out because you are apparently a musical person so maybe you’ll get into this one?

Step five: HOOOOO MAMA YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOU NEEDED THIS WHY IS VERONICA’S VOICE SO SMOOTH–??

Step six: Start watching Heathers animatics because JD is hot in all of them.

Step seven: You watch a Dear Evan Hansen animatic because it came up on your dash because you watch so many Heathers ones.

Step eight: You listen to Dear Evan Hansen because you’re curious about it now and it seems pretty cool.

Step nine: NOT AGAIN HOLY SHIT

Step ten: Everything is a reference to one of the Holy Trinity. Your obsession has leaked into your every day life. Your friends don’t know you. You don’t know you. What have you become.

So there’s this musical where the main character has a cannon love interest but the entire fandom basically decided they’re in love with their super gay friend.

What musical was I talking about?? Hamilton?? Dear Evan Hansen??? Be More Chill??? Who knows

edit: yes I know hamilton in real life was hella bisexual I’m sorry if it seemed like I didn’t know

what have musicals done to me?

me: *sees a newspaper* *thinks of newsies* *starts crying*

also me: *hears someone counting in french* *thinks of hamilton* *starts crying*

also me: *sees a tree* *thinks of dear evan hansen* *starts crying*

also me: *hears someone even mutter the words black or red* *thinks of les mis* *starts bawling hysterically*

also me: *hears something about the 2019 wicked film release* *starts crying*

also me: *passes a 7/11* *thinks of heathers* *starts crying*

do you see my problem here?

musicals in real life
  • hamilton: why are we singing we should be fighting a war
  • dear evan hansen: why are all these emails written in rhyming couplets.
  • 21 chump street: you know, you could try some actual pick up lines instead of repeating "what the heck i gotta do" seven times.
  • heathers: Queen of High School Gets Her Own Theme Song - And a Twist! (You Won't Believe What She Drank!)
  • be more chill: why are you ominously singing to me about some computer drug? why is the computer drug ominously singing to me?