I Can’t

Characters: Reader, Jared, Jensen
Words:   1128
Requested by Anonymous:  Hey, first off I ADORE your blog and your writing. If your requests were still open, could I request a one shot with Sam and Dean (OR Jensen and Jared with Misha, too;) where the readers depression has gotten really bad and they can’t do anything so the boys help them? I’ve been having a really hard time lately (the past 8 years) but it’s gotten really bad recently. I’d just love some of your writing. It always helps me out. Thank you. (Ps. Sorry to bother you) <3

Warning: depression


         You held your smile through the entire panel and throughout all of the photo ops. You held onto it hard. Everyone got a smile from you.

           But as soon as you walked into your hotel room, you weren’t smiling anymore. You closed the door and leaned back against it, putting your head in your hands as you just started crying.

           Your depression, something you had been dealing with for years, had skyrocketed recently and it was getting harder and harder to deal with. And having to put on your happy face all day did not help.

           You wanted to just curl up and not move for days. But you knew you couldn’t. And just the thought of having to do this all over again the following day sent you into another round of tears.

           “Y/N?” you heard someone knocking on your door. Jensen. Of course it was Jensen. He always came to see you after everything for the cons was over for the day. Why couldn’t you have waited to break down?

           You knew you couldn’t hide from him. You knew he knew you were there. There was no turning back.

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Thank you so much to winchester_boys_spn on Instagram for capturing and sharing this incredible, heartbreaking performance from Jensen Ackles. I’m still crying over this scene.