You stared at the text message in your phone for what seemed like an eternity. When you had accepted the role you never thought there would come this moment that you’d actually think you’d want to take your answer back. You always had loved acting, a little more than singing, so whenever a movie came up that you liked the script – which you really did now – and you could work in without having to leave Supernatural, you immediately accepted. Now, however you’d started having serious doubts about your decision.
Your manager had told you you were supposed to meet your costar tomorrow morning for a coffee and the two of you to talk about some scenes. He’d sent you the address today but once you spotted the name you had not been able to reply to him. You were frozen in your place.
“Baby?” you heard a voice behind you but every muscle in your body refused to move.
“Baby? (Y/n) are you alright?” the voice got closer and when you felt a hand on your shuoulder you jumped, your phone falling from your hands.
“Wh-what?” you blinked, looking up to meet your boyfriend’s worried eyes.
“I asked you if you are alright, but it’s obvious you’re not.” he said with a gentle smile, bending to pick your phone but not looking at it out of respect.
“What’s wrong sweetheart?” he cupped your face as he sat in front of you on the bed.
“It’s- nothing’s wrong, you don’t have to worry.” you mumbled, avoiding to look him in the eyes.
“Princess-” he chuckled, kissing the top of your head “You’re a terrible liar, do you know that?”
“And a terrible actor?” you asked with a half smile, trying to change the subject as smoothly as you could.
“Absolutely not! Besides, I am your number one fan and you know so I guess my opinion wouldn’t matter much anyway. But-” he grinned “You’ve got two oscars and a golden globe amongst many other awards, I think that might mean you are a good actress.” he winked and you chuckled, your eyes casting down.
“I guess.” you fidgeted with yours fingers but cursed at yourself in your mind for how you were unable to come up with something else to say, since you knew Jensen would bring back the topic.
“Now-” here we go “-Are you going to tell me about it, or not? I am not pressuring you, sweetheart, but I just need to know what’s bothering you in case I can help.”
“I want to tell you Jens, but this- I don’t know how well you’d really take to it. I don’t know if you’d be able to help me to be honest… you might be too angry to.” you played with the ring in your finger.
He took hold of your hands and brought them up to kiss them, along with engagement ring “I promise, no matter what it is I am going to try my best not to get angry.” he squeezed your hands and let out a shaky breath.
“I know you won’t, Jens. I know that you’ll try your best but sometimes it’s just- things are too hard to handle and-”
“(Y/n), what’s going on? You’re starting to worry me here. Did something happen to anyone?” he frowned but you shook your head.
“No, no I swear. Don’t worry, it’s just-” you sighed, willing yourself to look him in the eyes “Remember that movie I got a part in the previous week?”
“Yeah I- I think.” he nodded his head, his green eyes baring into yours as if he was trying to study you.
“Well, my manager told me I was supposed to meet my costar tomorrow. You know the one I will be having all those not-so-appropriate scenes with?” you asked and you saw him clench his jaw and look for a minute away.
“Yeah?” his voice was more rough and you felt him squeeze your hands without realizing it. He was already mad about it, well jealous mostly but he had agreed to respect it and you because: 1) he loved you and trusted you and 2) that was your job as well as his and if you could handle seeing him with all those women Dean had then so should he.
“Well, he told me his name today. Through texts.” you let out a shaky breath.
“And?” he looked at you with a deep frown it almost reminded you of Dean for a moment.
“It’s Tom.” you breathed out as fast as you could, and for a moment he obviously didn’t get it “It’s my ex Tom.” you corrected “Tom Hiddleston.”
The moment the words left your lips you saw his back straightened and his eyebrow shot up. His lips moved just slightly but he still kept his jaw clenched. His eyes hardened and you could see that he tried to control himself just because of his promise to you, but you could also understand how hard it was for him. Other than Jensen, Tom was the other most serious relationship you’d ever had. And by that you meant engagement serious. You weren’t one to play with those things, all of your relationships had actually been serious, but when you were with Tom you actually thought he’d be the one. You still didn’t understand fully well why you actually broke up.
You were happy together, as happy as you could get at the time, and you both thought that that was going to be forever. You really thought you would never fall harder for someone else so that made getting over him even harder but when you met Jensen you really understood what love could be. Of course you never forgot about Tom, he was and would always be important to you and sometimes you wished you could still be friends. But it was nearly impossible considering the situation.
“Jens?” you whispered, tilting your head “Jens? Jensen please say something.” you gave his hand a squeeze as his hard look didn’t flatter.
“Your ex Tom?” he asked in a low, dangerously low, and rough voice.
Jensen was not one to get jealous easily, of course when he did it the cutest sight for you but when it came to Tom it all took a turn for the worse. He was jealous but no the funny or sweet and grumpy kind. It was the seriously jealous and worried kind.
“Ye-yes my ex, Tom.” you looked down with a sigh “J, I swear I had no idea it would be him. If- if I knew I- I would have probably not said yes to the movie.”
“Probably?” he frowned at you and you blinked.
“I- I mean-” you cleared your throat “Yes, Jensen probably. Just- just because of what happened between me and Tom doesn’t mean I- I will turn down a great chance in a movie.”
“(Y/n).” he pursed his lips, letting go of your hand and you let them fall on your lap.
“He’s your ex! Your ex Tom, do you remember what happened last time you met him?”
“If you’re talking about the Con, he wasn’t flirting with me.” you rolled your eyes “I told you, that’s how he always was with me. We’ve been close even before we got together, what’s wrong with that?”
“There’s nothing wrong with that, but he’s your ex (Y/n)! You- you can’t just go hav a scene with him like- like that and expect me to-”
“What? Accept it? Yeah Jensen I actually am. Look I am the one having doubts in the first place too but I can’t really believe you’re still angry about this because, and you said it, he’s my ex! I am no longer with him, I am with you and this-” you showed him the ring “Means that want to be with you forever! You are the one I chose to spend my life with, after I was with Tom, can’t you just- just try to understand that?”
“Yeah, but you had decided to spend your life with Tom once too, didn’t you?” he mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest like a sad stubborn little child.
“And it didn’t work out, but this is working out Jens! It is because I actually know it is what I want to!” you got up, getting closer to him “Jensen, baby please- I- I am having a hard time myself and despite how jealous I knew you’d be I thought that- that you’d understand me.”
“I’m- I’m sorry sweetheart, damn it I really am.” he cleared his throat, running a hand down his face “I’m just- It’s so fucking hard to when I know how much he- he actually meant to you.”he confessed, his head bowing down as he ran a hand through his hair.
“J” you whispered, taking hold of his hands and he looked at you “I know that Tom and I were- what he and I had wasdeep and it was true and important and strong and everything.” you cleared your throat when you his shoulders fall and the look on his face match that of a kicked puppy’s “But it’s over, J. It’s over, it ended because it actually wasn’t as… true as I thought, and not as strong or as important. Not as this is.” you locked fingers with his.
“Not as real as we are. Jensen, when Tom and I ended I thought I would never get over him because I really thought he was the one for me, the only one for me. But then I met you and- and I realized what love really meant. Don’t get me wrong, I- I did love, Tom. I can’t lie to you about that, and maybe I still do.” you heard him take a sharp breath and you almost felt bad “But I’m not in love with him!” yo quickly added, not over yet “I’m not in love with him because I’m in love with you. And nothing can ever change this now.”
“Not even him?” he whispered and you raised an eyebrow.
“What? Why do you think he would ever want to change this? Tom and I- it was a mutual decision to end this, he wanted it to. Why would he now-”
“(Y/n)” he cut you off gently, but his voice still was laced with pain “Have you seen the way he looks at you?” he asked, remembering the time you met at Con.
“What about the way he looks at me?” you whispered with a frown.
“It’s the exact same way I look at you. Madly in love.”