jenny wood

the fuckboy scheme | 2 | m

◇ Maybe Jungkook wasn’t as bad as you previously thought. Maybe.

◇ Jungkook x reader

◇ fuckboi!au + college!au

◇ length: 4.9k

tfs 1

◇ okay i know i said i was working on other things but i just realised I’m almost at 2k followers and i wanted to get this fnished bc a lot of yall apparently like this and honestly i kinda like how this part turned out!!! Also thank almost 2k of you for being sweet and supportive and understanding,,,,,, ily all 💗💗

•••

Two hours pass and Jeon Jungkook is still completely and utterly flabbergasted — and hard, too.

He can’t wrap his head around the fact that you teased him, turned him on and then proceeded to leave him. That - that’s never happened. He’s Jeon Jungkook — any girl in this college would bend over backwards to have him in their beds, and what’s even worse is that Jungkook was the one chasing after you. Shit.

So he stands for maybe more minutes than is socially acceptable, mouth gaping and eyes narrowed in an uncomfortable mixture of confusion and disbelief — and then, he downs between 2 and 10 concoctions from the kitchen that are much too bitter but much too sweet at the same time; he flirts and kisses and flirts and kisses until he’s breathless but he’s still bored, still spiritless.

Thus, Jungkook finds himself locked in one of many bathrooms in Jackson Wang’s house. A shaky breath escapes his lips when the pounding music fades to a muffled cacophony and his inebriated gaze focuses on his image in the crystal mirror in front of him.

He imagines you were there with him; your hair mussed, your lips swollen, chest heaving with every breath. He imagines that he lifts you onto the sink and eats you out like a man starved, he imagines you getting on your knees and swallowing his cock like it’s your favourite treat. And fuck, are those good thoughts.

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Midnight Circus pt. 2

Originally posted by jeonilys

☾pairing: Jungkook ♡→  reader
☾genre: Angst. Fluff. Mature content. badboysummerfling au
☾summary: “You’re ten times hotter this summer, you know that?”

| 1 | 2 | coming soon


It was a delightful morning, you underestimated the amount of peace there was at a camping ground when night fell. You were fully rested and ready for the day. Everyone hadn’t left the cabins yet but those of you who did went to the recreational center for breakfast. You piled the roasted potatoes on your plate and walked back to the table with Nayeon, Jin, Namjoon and Jennie, everyone else was asleep so you guys left them alone. The whether was nice, breakfast was delicious, Jungkook wasn’t here, it was close to perfect.

“After breakfast I planned some stuff for all us.” Jennie brought the mug to her lips and sipped the bitter sweet coffee. “We can get cleaned up then we’ll hike up to the springs and eat lunch there, we can swim for a little while too.” When Jennie looked up to see Beah and Naeun we’re coming to the table and you braced yourself, you knew who wasn’t far behind them. Low and behold, Jimin, Tae and Jungkook walked in and you sighed—he glanced at you before grabbing a plate for breakfast, his hair was so fluffy and too soft to be his own, you wondered why the worst people have the prettiest features.

“Good morning,” Jimin came to sit next to Namjoon and across from Beah, with a bowl of fruit. Taehyung came to sit next to Beah, putting the seat beside you up for grabs. 

“Did you guys sleep well?” Jennie was really just indirectly asking Jimin. 

“Yeah, I kept hearing a weird sound though like a cat or something…” Tae mumbled and Nayeon nodded in agreement.

“I heard that too,” She gasped, “oh my God, are there wildcats out here?”

You giggled as Jennie tried to convince everyone that there has only ever been one wildcat sighting, most of them weren’t convinced. When Taehyung brought up the subject of the ‘thing’ in the tree outside of his window, you couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous he was.

“There was not!” Jimin playfully slapped his arm. “You shouldn’t have eaten those snacks, you were just seeing things.” 

Jungkook actually chuckled—he, of course, had to sit right next to you. His plate was piled uo like most of the guys but his plates always looked huge. You ate your potatoes, sipped your juice and got up to take your empty plate—you wanted to get away from him before you two started at it again. You grimaced at having to go back to that table, you could practically feel Jungkook looking at you—his eyes as unapologetic as ever when you looked back at him. Feeling your pink pajama shorts lift slightly prompted you to quickly tug them down. You kept your cool and walked to the fruit bar, making a nice bowl of pineapples before taking your seat beside him. It was ridiculous how he kept eyeing you like you didn’t notice him staring, he scrap his fork against his teeth and just glare at you.

You ate about three pieces until you saw his greasy fingers stroll into your view, attempting to take one of your pineapples, you smacked his hand, moving your chair farther from him—he is a literal child. He doesn’t understand the concept of enemies, he acts like your annoying friend one second and he’s pissing you off the next. He giggled, trying to grab it again just to annoy you.

“Stop.” You glared at him—looking down at your pineapples, they didn’t even look all that appetizing anymore. 

He had the nerve to scoff, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Why do you have to get worked up over pointless shit like pineapples?” He grabbed the same pineapple he was gonna eat originally and popped it in his mouth. “It’s fucking fruit. You need to learn how to share.”

“It’s my fruit, and I think you’re forgetting that we’re not on good terms.” You crossed your arms—you’ve never glared at anyone with such animosity. “And I don’t share with heathens like you…”

“Me? A heathen?” He feigned a look of shock. “You nag about everything, no wonder you never get any-” If he would’ve finished that sentence you would’ve strangled him.

“Are you two seriously fighting over a bowl of pineapples?” Namjoon called you two out causing the whole table to stare at the both of you. Of course you both started defending yourselves, your words clashing together like children trying to prove their points in a feud.

“Hey! We don’t want to hear about your pineapples guys,” Jennie spoke up, “let’s go get ready for the springs.” At that everyone agreed and got up, leaving their plates and continuing their conversations. As you were storming back to the cabin Naeun came to walk beside you, just skipping along like there was no tomorrow. You thought she was more excited to go swimming and you could understand why—swimming with all of those good looking guys was pretty exciting but you didn’t even think of that. You are going to have a good time, he wasn’t about to get the best of you, not now.

You washed up, put on light make up and slid on a pair of jean shorts over your bathing suit. When you tied your hair in a ponytail you got a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, Beah and Jennie were getting ready in the mirror as well. 

“You look cute Y/N,” Jennie looked back at your somewhat uncharacteristically revealing get up, “I don’t think Jeon will be able to argue with you in that, honestly you guys would be cute if you could stay in a room without killing each other.” She giggled, the way you grimaced in disgust was priceless.

“You’re kidding?” You wanted to vomit—that thought never even crossed your mind, “No, we wouldn’t, ugh, don’t even think of that. All I see Jungkook as is a means to ruin my life. And FYI he’ll lust after anything with boobs so it doesn’t matter what any of us wear, he undresses people with his eyes…” They all laughed but it was true, and you were determined not to let him touch any of your friends. 

“I wouldn’t mind that entirely.” Naeun walked in, she wore a black one piece with large openings on the sides to show quite a bit of skin. “He’s one of the hottest guys in school, and you get to fight with him.” She snickered.

“First of all, that’s gross. Second of all, he’s not ugly, that’s all I have to say about his looks.” Everyone was in there swimsuits, had their bags with shoes, extra clothes and some snacks. When the five of you walked out the boys were already waiting for you guys outside of their cabin.

Jin stretched. “So how long is the hike?” 

Jennie pulled out a can of bug spray and offered some to everyone before spraying her legs and arms. “Like 15 to 20  minutes, it’s not that long. Since I’m leading the hike, I’ll do it like my aunt does it. Everyone can grab a buddy to walk with so we don’t get separated!” She cut her eyes to you before smirking, she was doing this on purpose. 

You had your eye on Jimin but Nayeon beat you to it, your next option was Jin but Jennie purposely walked with him since they were the oldest. Namjoon walked with Beah, Tae walked with Naeun. When you looked around you saw everyone had a partner and followed Jennie into the woods, and of course you were at the end of the line—with him.

“Jen!” You shouted from the back running up beside her, “Can I-”

“You and Jungkook are partners, you can’t third wheel with me now go back.” She shooed you away, you’ve never felt more betrayed in your life. They all walked by, talking and smiling as Jungkook was walking towards you, an innocent look on his face.

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Foraging Wild Garlic

I am blogging a foraging a wild herb profile every month throughout the year & listing what is available to for the current month in the UK. Please be careful when foraging and refer to a guide book. My favourites are Food for Free by Richard Mabey, River Cottage Handbook no.7 Hedgerow by John Wright & The Thrifty Forager by Alys Fowler. Also be aware not to over forage as you need to leave enough food for the wildlife.

Wild Garlic Allium Ursinum from the liliaceae family

Folk Names: Bear’s Garlic, Bear’s Leek, Broad Leaved Garlic, Buckrams, Devil’s Garlic, Gypsy’s Onions, Moly, Ransoms, Ramp, Ramps, Ramsons, Roman Garlic, Stinkers, Stinking Jenny , Wood Garlic.

Appearance & habitat: Wild Garlic is a tall hairless perennial plant which grows in large numbers in damp, acidic soils in shaded deciduous woods/forests in most parts of Europe, Northern Asia & Northern America. Leaves can be harvested in January (if it is mild).

The leaves are broad, elliptical, shiny, spear-like and can grow up to 25cm long. The stem is long and triangular shaped. The flowers are white, star shaped, in a round umbel with 8-12 segments. The plant gives off a sweetly pungent, strong garlic scent and tastes more like chives, and gentler than conventional garlic. They tend to flower before trees  get their leaves in April to June, and this is what gives off the yeasty-garlicy smell that is a giveaway sign of wild garlic. The leaves are very similar to Lilly-of-the-Valley (Convallaria majalis), Autumn Crocus (Colchicum autumnale) and Wild Arum (Arum maculatum) which are extremely poisonous so do take caution, only pick if it smells of garlic when crushed.

Culinary uses: Wild Garlic leaves can be substituted for garlic or spring onions, can be treated like spinach in eaten raw in salads, sandwiches, combined into sauces, butter, mayonnaise, dressings, soups, stews, omelettes, stir-fries, risotto, makes a fantastic pesto (see recipe) and can be boiled as a vegetable. Add it towards the end of cooking to preserve freshness. The leaves can be used as a wrap and compliments tomatoes. The bulb can also be eaten raw but digging up wild plants is not good for wildlife, the bulb is very small so is hardly worth the effort. The flowers can also be eaten  as seed pods or flowers.

Nutrition & Benefits: Wild Garlic is rich in iron, vitamin C, vitamin A, manganese, copper, magnesium, traces of Selenium,  antioxidants, Aallicin, Adenosine. Traditionally used as a spring tonic, to cleanse the blood and boost the immune system.  It is beneficial for rheumatism, reducing high blood pressure and blood cholesterol levels, asthma, emphysema, digestive problems and cleansing the blood.  It has anti-bacterial and anti-fungal properties that protect against free radicals. The juice can be used as a household disinfectant but I wouldn’t advise this because of the odour it gives off. The juice is good for weight loss and applied as a poultice to areas of rheumatic pain, arthritic joints, boils and abscesses. It increases the blood circulation locally.

History & Folklore: Wild Garlic is an indicator of ancient woodland and has been eaten for thousands of years. The first use of wild garlic can be traced to the Mesolithic period in Denmark from a archeoligical find, and to Neolithioc settlement, Thayngen-Weier  in Switzerland, where there is a high concentration of pollen within the layer of the settlement.

The vernacular name Ramsons is from Anglo Saxon Old English Hramsa and Ramsey in Essex and Ramdale in Lincolnshire are places which take their name from the plant. Hramsa means Rank derived from the butter and milk of cow which have eaten Ramsons to be bitter or rank. Ramsdale derives from the Norse name Raumsdalr, meaning Valley of the River Rauma in Oppland and Møre og Romsdal in Norway. “Raum the Old”, son of King Nor is the legendary founder of Norway who is linked to the Raumi tribe.  It was grown in monastic gardens as food according to an account from the 16th century.


According to Essex folklore, the allium family is one of the most useful plants in curing illnesses. Aubrey 1847 “Eat Leekes in March and ramsons in May And all the year after physicians may play”

It is known as Bear’s garlic/leek in Europe as brown bears where partial to digging up and eating  the bulbs when they awoke from hibernation.


Recipe for Wild Garlic Pesto

100g Wild Garlic leaves

50g Parmesan cheese

50g toasted pine nuts

2 tablespoons olive oil

Lemon juice squeezed from half a lemon

Salt & pepper

Wash the leaves thoroughly and roughly chop with scissors. Pulse the pine nuts for a few seconds in a food processor, then add the leaves, olive oil & parmesan. Add lemon juice, salt & pepper to taste, if the pesto needs to be thinned add more oil.


 Plants you may expect to find in June;

Borage leaves & flowers, Bellflower flowers, Bittercress, Brooklime, Broom, Common Chickweed, Common Fig, Common Mallow leaves, Common Orache, Common Sorrel, Darwin’s Barberry berries, Elderflower, Fairy-ring Champignon, Fat Hen, Fennel, Garlic Mustard, Garden Orache, Good King Henry, Gooseberry, Hastate Orache, Hawthorn, Hogweed, Lemonbalm, Nettle-leaved Bellflower flowers, Perennial Wall Rocket, Pignut, Marsh Samphire, Rampion, Red Goosefoot, Spearmint, Spear-leaved Orache, Stinging Nettle, Sea Beet, Shaggy Inkcap, Shepard’s Purse, St George’s Mushroom, Three-cornered garlic, Watercress, Watermint, Wild Leek, Wild Rose flowers, Wild Strawberry, Wild Thyme, Wood sorrel,.

When Algy had recovered from the unfortunate effects of a surfeit of underripe blackberries, he decided to explore the woodlands. The sun was much lower in the sky now that the season was rapidly advancing towards winter, but it still had a wee bit of warmth in it. Flying up to a spot near the top of a hill, he found a sunny perch on a broken limb of a battered old silver birch tree, and rested there for a while in the afternoon sunshine, until the cold shadow began to creep up his legs as the sun sank down behind the trees of the woodland behind him.

Algy hopes that you will all find a warm spot to rest in this weekend, and will have a relaxing time xoxo

Please believe me when I tell you I am trying, for you, I am trying every day to be better.

I’m learning to love myself so that when you hold my face between your hands and whisper that you love me, I believe it.

I am using every ounce of my strength to accept that I am worthy. That you won’t grow tired of battling with my insecurities or worse still, that you won’t wake up one day and see all of the things I dislike about myself.

I am trying to accept that I deserve someone like you.

So please don’t give up on me, not just yet. Keep making me feel like I am fixable, like I am not completely broken. Because with you, it makes sense, this fucked up world.
And with your hand inside mine, I don’t feel so terrified of it, of myself, of my reflection.

But the one thing I am terrified of, the one thing which sucks the air from my lungs and makes me ache in places I didn’t even know I could ache, is the thought of losing you. Of being too broken and too impossible.

Because I can’t lose you.
I won’t survive.

Deadly Dutch TREE DISEASE !!!

We have discovered a terrible and very deadly disease of the trees in our forest!!
(and apparently in forests all over Holland!, possibly all over Europe?!… maybe even…the World!?)
It’s a terrible and always FATAL disease which strikes both the young and the very old trees around this time of year (in the months before official spring starts)…
first the afflicted trees develop strange and very ugly orange spray painted spots, then within a short time the sound of chainsaws is heard and the tree dies completely… even the corpse of the poor patient simply disappears leaving behind deep muddy tracks as if a giant destructive machine just came by and willfully destroyed a part of the forest…ahem…
This disease is unstoppable with any form of medication except ofcourse removal of these “death marks” (although quite often the marks re-appear again within a very short time!) this happens because ofcourse the orange spots are only the outward symptoms of this terrible disease… the ACTUAL disease is ofcourse caused by a deadly bacteria named “Homo Sapiens Sapiens” and their suicidal policy of “Economy über Ecology” **

Sadly no known cure has been found against this particularly vile disease BUT
we are working to find a good remedy!! hopefully a solution will present itself soon ;)

Greenthingz and the healing power of musick!
Shaman SteveSic (pic by Sic)