So, who do I have the pleasure of speaking with today? My name is J, which is short for Jenny, which is short for Jennica, which is short for Don’t Let Your Mormon Biological Mother Name You Before Putting You Up For Adoption.
It’s cute. Why, thank ya, hun.
So, who’s your momma? It was a closed adoption. I don’t know her name.
So, you do have a daddy? Or two? In fact I do have a matched set. I assume you’re familiar with Kurt Hummel and Adam Crawford?
They of course hyphenate now, but once upon a time…
Of course. You’re the first of their kids I’ve met though. Ha. I’ve heard that my parents’ social group has a terribly embarrassing habit of mix-‘n’-matching across the time stream.
So… Jenny… that wouldn’t happen to be Jenny, the girlfriend of a certain Miss Betty? Guilty. As. Charged, baby.
She was very complimentary of you. Is that code for she overshared about our sex life?
No, but yes, she did. That’s my little bubble-B. Isn’t she fantastic?
She’s something. I know what that means.
I’m sorry. Really, I enjoyed meeting her. I was just a little caught off-guard by… uh… Ha ha. Don’t sprain anything. Betty’s a sharp-tongued little firecracker and I got caught in the acid spray the first time, too. Granted, my first attempt at seduction went something like this:
Damn, aren’t I just the snake charmer?
But, for real, courting her was like lock-picking a cactus, but inside I found the cutest little honey badger.
You have a thing for imagery. Well, the guitar isn’t just to pick up chicks. I do fancy myself a bit of a songwriter.
I guess opposites attract. At her core, Betty isn’t as rough around the edges as she seems. A lot of it is a defense mechanism because of the cluster-f-word that her parents’ divorce devolved into.
“Cluster-f-word”? You don’t swear? Is it a Mormon thing? Ha. You’d think, right? But, nah, it’s not genetic. My dads are an atheist and a secular Anglican. I can say bad words; I just don’t throw them around a lot. Betty could make a one-eyed sailor wet himself.
Betty wasn’t kidding. You are a delight. Aw, shucks, you’re makin’ me blush.
You sound like a cowboy. Betty gravitated towards Santana when things got rough. Well, me and Sam hung. He’s the one who taught me the guitar.
Oh, my. I didn’t realize your dads had problems. Oh, no, not like Betty and Kitty’s parents. I mean, they went through a rough patch about the same time when Dad started out hanging out with his friend Blaine without telling Daddy. Completely innocent, but Daddy’s convinced Dad still holds a candle for him.
Doddy? Oh, I got to call them different names, right? Kurt’s Dad and Adam’s Daddy. When you say “Daddy” with a British accent, it doesn’t sound as infantile.
Gotta say, love the ‘do. Heh, thanks. I kind of straddle the gender binary fence.
Oh, gosh, I hope I haven’t said anything wrong, like pronouns or anything. Don’t sweat it. I’ve never felt 100% girl, but I’m cool with the feminine terminology. I know there’s like three-hundred and six gender-neutral pronoun sets, but they’re hella confusing.
Otherwise, I don’t do girly well. Betty and my sister will rock dresses day and night. I just can’t abide by them. I’m built like a eleven year old boy with severe asthma. I rock a suit pretty damn well though.
Not bad. How did your dad react? Fair question. It put Dad off his game. He lived in a time when it was important to define yourself concretely, and he tried to rush through his andro phase as quick as he could, and I’m trying never to leave it. Daddy was the complete opposite. I could have told him I was a quadruple-gendered giraffe-kin from the planet Xandu and he would have politely asked if there was a special bow he needed to do when he picked me up from school.
So, before I forget, why’d you come back in time? What, and leave Betty and Kitty to their own devices? Those two could go shopping for makeup and somehow inadvertently cause the United Nations to elect a pregnant orangutan Supreme Commander of the World.
That’s about it. Any other interesting things you’d like us to know about you? I totally overshot my first time jump and am responsible for inspiring Justin Bieber’s hairstyle.
Wow. Really? You’ll never know. <wink>
Original Idea: televisionamist
Image Credit: damnrps, olivercollarbones, wetpaint, aroundtheinterwebs